Social Justice Advocates Handbook: A Guide to Gender Understanding I'm Heading to Cairo


What does the asterisk in “trans*” stand for?

"Trans*" Poster

A few people have asked why I write “trans*” (with the asterisk) instead of just “trans” when referring to trans* folks on my site.  Well, I’m happy to answer that! Trans* is an umbrella term that refers to all of the identities within the gender identity spectrum.  There’s a ton of diversity there, but we […]

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4 Reasons You Should Stop Saying “Non-Straight”

"Not How Labels Work" Comic

With all the talk of marriage equality, gay comic book weddings, and even gayer flowcharts flowing around the web, people are getting ever more sensitive about using inclusive language when they can.  That’s great!  But more often than ever I am hearing folks use the term “non-straight” to refer to people who are lesbian, gay, […]

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Why your intentions don’t really matter, but outcomes do

"Ingrid's Intentionality Elixir" Comic

I’ve created a few graphics about when it’s okay to say “gay” and the one argument that keeps coming up goes something like “How can you regulate language? What’s offensive to one person is not to another.  What matters is your intentions.” Intentions don’t matter, effect does. I will elaborate on my response to that question more in […]

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Flowchart: when it’s okay to say “gay”

"I want to say gay" Flowchart

When I published my original flowchart, I said it was for the more analytical folks who are wondering if “gay” is the right word choice for them.  Well, this one is for the most analytical folks, and also folks who enjoy data presented in cute and adorable ways. Oh, and as usual, my readers are way […]

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The Genderbread Person v2.0

The Genderbread Person v2.1

Heads up! I wrote a book all about gender that builds on the concepts I introduced with this Genderbread Person. If you appreciate this, you’ll love this book. Hundreds of comments, ditto emails, ditto Facebook messages and Twitter tweeters and in-person holla-atchas and I feel like I’m finally in a place to release this.  Without further […]

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When to use the word “gay”

When it's okay to use the word gay

This graphic was originally created to support this article, but then a comment was made saying this should be hung on every dorm wall in America.  A tall order, but at least we can make it an accomplishable one.  Print and hang away, friends.  It’s yours.

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Sexual Orientation for the Genderqueer Person


This is an installment of the “Stepping Beyond the Genderbread Person” series, offering further explanation to themes and ideas presented in the original introduction article.  If you haven’t read the intro, we suggest you read it first. We understand that sexual orientation and gender are separate concepts.  This is something that is relatively easily understood […]

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Political Correctness VS. Inclusiveness


I would never ask you to be politically correct.  I’ve gotten some flak from my “When Gay is Okay” and “Why I say partner” articles.  People feel that I’m soap-boxing for political correctness, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.  Before you send me an email, tweet, or facebook message saying “Sorry if I’m […]

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A visual aid: when “gay” is okay

When it's okay to use the word gay

Created a printer-friendly version of the first graphic (and a high-resolution version). Check it, share it, print it, love it.  Also, check out the new-and-improved flowchart. For those of you still struggling with the idea of when it is and isn’t ideal to use the word “gay”, even after reading my article outlining the whole […]

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Why I say “partner” instead of boyfriend or girlfriend

Howdy Partner

Using the term “partner” to replace boyfriend or girlfriend is widely suggested as a means to speak more inclusively, allowing gay, lesbian, or bisexual people feel more comfortable.  When I use this term to refer to my partner around straight people, I’m often asked, “why did you say your partner instead of your girlfriend?”  What’s […]

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If you call someone gay, he better be a guy who likes guys.

Gay Heart

View this article in handy printable graphic form if you don’t feel up to reading 400 words. Gay isn’t a bad word, assuming you’re using it to describe a man who is attracted (physically, spiritually, and emotionally) to other men, (depending on label preference) a woman who is attracted to women, or anyone else who […]

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