Let’s see if we can save you the time of awaiting a reply to an email from me. The vast majority of the emails I receive are listed and preemptively answered below, in a surprisingly short list. If you’re still not sure, or want to say something nice (always appreciated), get in touch.

1. “Can I use _____ thing you made for _____ (e.g., “a presentation I’m giving”)?”

Yes. You can use anything I’ve made here however you’d like. For serious. Check out this announcement I made uncopyrighting everything I’ve published here, as well as the about page for more details if you’re still unsure.

2. “Can I interview you for this _____ (e.g., article, blog post, school paper) I’m writing?”

Yes. If we can do this via email, that’s easiest for me. Send me the questions, give me an idea of how many words/question you’re looking for in my response (e.g., “One sentence, quotable answers” or “go nuts”), and tell me the deadline. If I don’t respond by the deadline, feel free to send me a reminder. It’s more likely that I missed it than I’m ignoring you, and I’ll be far more upset if I neglected you than I will be by being pestered (pestering is what email is for, isn’t it?).

If email won’t work, get in touch and I’ll do my best. Get in touch and include some days/times you’re free and your Skype/Google+ username (unless you work for a publication I’m familiar with, I won’t give out my phone number. Sorry. My goal is to go this entire year without having to change it). If it matters a lot to you that you talk to me, then it matters a lot to me. I’ll make it happen, just let me know.

3. “When are you going to be near _____ doing _____ (e.g., a show, speaking event, book signing) next?” / “Why don’t you have a list of upcoming performances?”

In the past, publicizing events I’m doing online beforehand has backfired. Some folks view what I do to be controversial (e.g., see #4), and in the worst manifestation of this a conference had to hire additional security during my keynote because of the death threats. Due to this, I don’t have an “upcoming events” tab on my site (like you’ll see with a lot of performers/speakers), but if I have an event that is open to the public I’ll do my best to advertise it on my IPM Facebook Fanpage.

And if seeing me in person (whether it’s doing my show, speaking, or just for a book signing/reading type thing) is a goal of yours, the best way to make that happen is to be part of putting it together. Contact me through the booking page and we can get that conversation started.

4. “Did you know you’re going to burn in Hell for what you’re doing here?”

Yes, I’ve been made aware. But it’s helpful to receive the sometimes-hundred-times-a-day reminders. Also, it’s worth noting that you can be Christian and still be okay with what I do here.