30+ Examples of Male Privilege

by Sam Killermann · 88 comments

in Gender,Privilege Lists

"Mount Dragmore" Comic

Following is a list of male privileges.  If you are male (and a man), listed below are benefits that result from being born with that gender and sex.  If you identify as a man, there’s a good chance you’ve never thought about these things.  Try and be more cognizant of these privileges in your daily life and you’ll understand how much work we have to do to make for a society that is equitable to all people, regardless of their gender.

  1. Get on my mailing list!
    If you have a bad day or are in a bad mood, people aren’t going to blame it on your sex
  2. You can be careless with your money and now have people blame it on your sex
  3. You can be a careless driver and not have people blame it on your sex
  4. You can be confident that your coworkers won’t assume you were hired because of your sex
  5. If you are never promoted, it isn’t because of your sex
  6. You can expect to be paid equitably for the work you do, and not paid less because of your sex
  7. If you are unable to succeed in your career, that won’t be seen as evidence against your sex in the workplace
  8. A decision to hire you won’t be based on whether or not the employer assumes you will be having children in the near future
  9. Work comfortably (or walk down a public street) without the fear of sexual harassment
  10. Walk alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed
  11. Go on a date with a stranger without the fear of being raped
  12. Dress how you want and not worry you it will be used as a defense if you are raped
  13. If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children
  14. You can decide not to have children and not have your masculinity questioned
  15. If you choose to have children, you will praised for caring for your children, instead of being expected to be the full-time caretaker
  16. Balance a career and a family without being called selfish for not staying at home (or being constantly pressured to stay at home)
  17. If you are straight and decide to have children with your partner, you can assume this will not affect your career
  18. If you rise to prominence in an organization/role, no one will assume it is because you slept your way to the top
  19. You can seek political office without having your sex be a part of your platform
  20. You can seek political office without fear of your relationship with your children, or who you hire to take care of them, being scrutinized by the press
  21. Most political representatives share your sex, particularly the higher-ups
  22. Get on my mailing list!
    Your political officials fight for issues that pertain to your sex
  23. You can ask for the “person in charge” and will likely be greeted by a member of your sex
  24. As a child, you were able to find plenty of non-limiting, gender role stereotyped media to view
  25. You can not care about your appearance without worrying about about being criticized at work or in social situations
  26. You can spend time on your appearance without having people criticizing you for upholding unhealthy gender norms
  27. If you’re not conventionally attractive (or in shape), you don’t have to worry as much about that negatively affecting your potential
  28. You are not pressured by peers and society to be thin as much as the opposite sex
  29. You’re not expected to spend excessive amounts of money on grooming, style, and appearance to fit in, while making less money than the opposite sex
  30. Have promiscuous sex and be viewed positively for it
  31. You can go to a car dealership or mechanic and assume you’ll get a fair deal and not be taken advantage of
  32. Expressions and conventional language reflects your sex (e.g., mailman, “all men are created equal”)
  33. Every major religion in the world is led by individuals of your sex
  34. You can practice religion without subjugating yourself or thinking of yourself as less because of your sex
  35. You are less likely to be interrupted than members of the opposite sex
  36. Leave more examples in the comments below.

Written by Sam Killermann

Sam is a writer and performer who uses those skills as an ally to advance progress in the realms of LGBT equality and social justice. He tours the country speaking to college students about stereotypes, prejudice, and oppression, and writes for this site when he's at home in Austin, TX.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/debra.s.brooks.9 Debra Shannon Brooks

    If you rise to prominence in an organization, no one will assume it is because you slept your way to the top.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for being the brave first commenter, Debra. That’s a great one. I’ll add it right now.

  • http://twitter.com/k0smicd0lphins JC

    Isn’t this list a bit .. well… heteronormative?

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      It is. It’s far more cis-normative. I tried to avoid it, but some of these are certainly straight male privileges. Or straight, White male privileges. Or straight, White, non-disabled male privileges.

      Any suggestions on how to improve it?

      • Falkner09

        I noticed that “Have promiscuous sex and be viewed positively for it” is really only true of straight men. Gay men get cut down for it, even by other gay men. Often.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brittony.lefever Brittony LeFever

    You can get rather awesome Halloween costumes that aren’t *all* some variant of ‘sexy’. Y’know, not like I wanted to be Captain America for Halloween or anything. Or a version of Alice with a dress that actually went past my butt. Or any costume really, with a dress that goes past my butt. I’m six foot tall and they make these skimpy for average girls, on me they’re actually indecent.
    Oh hey, how about you can go jeans shopping and the sizes make sense and are all tailored to the same width and not some ambiguous size the company has decided on?

    • Kek

      That last one’s not a “privilege” thing. That’s a “women’s bodies tend to have greater variety” thing. I think

      • Kit

        no, actually, in particular for jeans some companies change their size to “make women feel better about their size” because they can by a size 2 jean when it’s actually a size 6, but not all companies do that and so it gets very confusing when you try and buy jeans from a different brand and the sizes are all different(not to mention jeans in particular just have SO many different variants it’s even MORE confusing than the other companies that already have changes in their sizing)

        we have something even more different for body variants on top of all that. I will say though to me it’s a little less “privilege” and more “men who want to fix their problem can’t figure out how and just made it worse because they’re not even 100% sure what they did wrong in the first place”.

  • kazerniel

    Thank you for this!

  • Frooo

    You have more possibility of being open and friendly to strangers without them assuming you are signaling that you are sexually available, and at times blaming you for not putting out after “leading them on”.

    Strangers of the opposite sex will not attack you verbally if you choose not to respond, or not to respond friendly to random inquiries about yourself on random occasions (in bar, on street etc).

    • Jess

      I get that all the time and it makes me dislike who I am. I dress very casually these days so I don’t get harassed or slobbered over. I must be the only person who prefers winter to summer, purely because I don’t want to expose my body and be subjected to such things.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sofia.julina Sofia Julina Ben-Hur

    you aren’t taught from day one that you need to be submissive, nurturing, allowing, friendly, etc
    you are free to be and do whatever you want no matter what country you live in
    your body isn’t a taboo subject (what i mean is, talking about male genitalia is more accepted than talking about female genitalia)
    books, movies, tv shows, plays, etc, all focus around members of your sex as important characters and not simply ornaments or support for the main character

    • Interested

      Of course. Because being pushed into a ‘be brave, be a man, don’t cry, don’t have an appreciation of beauty’ is such a great empowering stereotype to be lumbered with. Of course, there’s also the societal expectation that if you want to be a great Dad and be with your children, there’s something wrong with you. It is infinitely harder for men to make a decision to stay at home with their kids than for women. We all have crosses, but does it help anyone to state over and over how terrible women have it in comparison to men? How about ‘There are ways to make it easier for everyone’?

      • http://www.facebook.com/brando.furtado Brando Furtado

        You don’t understand what privilege actually is unfortunately. You are being defensive.

        All the things you listed are a result of male privilege. Privilege hurts everyone who doesn’t fit or conform to the norm. Your concerns are very real and very unfortunate but they where put in place by a culture which defines masculinity in a very rigid way.

        it’s so frustrating when I see guys get so defensive over the talk of privilege. In their heads it means that feminists are trying to say “oh poor women, men have all the luck.” That is a very simplistic take on the issue of privilege. There’s all sorts of privilege. Class, race, gender, sexual orientation, right handedness, ability vs disability etc etc.

        Don’t be so defensive. Discussing male privilege does not equate “men suck.”

        You’re not fully responsible for how you think though, there are a lot of young females, who have just discovered feminism who run with it and get angry and reactive because they finally find an ideology that makes them feel empowered and they run with it.

        But think for a moment to whatever subculture you belong to. Do you hate it when you are judged by the very worst of the people who share your ideology? Well then look at feminism with a more open mind.

        Anyways, do some studying up on what privilege actually means and realize that your comments are completely in line with what privilege is. You are fighting against an invisible enemy which is actually your friend.

        Everyone experiences some form of privilege, and some form of disadvantages. Everyone. The enemy is privilege. Not other people. Maybe you where attacked by SRS and have an axe to grind, I feel sorry for you. But acknowledging forms of privilege and then doing something to equal the playing field doesn’t equal “be ashamed of yourself you horrible horrible penis’d individual”

        Stop being so simplistic.

        • William Jenkins

          There’s a difference between not understanding how feminists define privilege and thinking that their definition is inherently dismissive of any problems encountered by men. I think it is horrible the way that women are discriminated against in our society, and women probably do still have it harder than men in most regards. However, when you argue that “All the things you listed are a result of male privilege” it sounds less than sympathetic. I think if feminists argued that women face more problems than men, instead of men not facing any problems at all, they could advocate for women’s rights without hurting men. Is there any way to take a definition of sexism as “prejudice plus power” other than as an endorsement of prejudice as “powerful” men? I’m just asking for a little mercy and compassion here, not advocacy.

          Also, you’re absolutely right, you should be treated as an individual, and not presumed to be in lock-step with Valerie Solanas. Feminists are not all joined at the hip. But just to put this in perspective, by my estimation about 80% of your arch-rivals, the so-called Men’s Rights Activists, have an extreme anti-female prejudice. Are you willing to look at MRA’s with a “more open mind” or will you assume that they all hate women just because most of them do?

  • Raven

    People don’t pointedly avoid talking/asking about your age, or think less of you if you are old.

    • MC

      Men are allowed to age, but women are expected to color gray hair and try to keep themselves in a way that makes them appear younger than their actual age. More jobs are available for men of a certain age than their female counterparts.

      • Interested

        Yet men die on average 10 years younger than women and it’s not questioned. Why is it that women’s health attracts huge amounts of funding in comparison to men’s health?

        • human

          Because we have more health problems which arise from pregnancy and hormonal contraceptives. 80-90 percent of women are pregnant in their lifetime and that causes increased wear and tear on the body, both externally and internally, causing both skin damage and problems with the inner organs including urinary incontinence, problems with eating, stress, depression, anemia, hypertension, problems with blood clotting, decreased mental states (yes, women after pregnancy experience this very often because of the major hormonal imbalances) in other words, we have a lot of problems especially when we have kids. (yes we have natural defenses for this to heal us but in the end, pregnancy favors the baby and leaves us with a large potential for all of this.) And also because it’s more publicized and men have an expectation to be “tough” and suck it up and that they don’t need to go to the doctor. Men much less likely go to the doctor leading to less male healthcare leading to less funding due to lack of interest.

        • Also.Interested

          Wait a sec; it IS routinely pointed out–and questioned–that men die years younger than women do. There’s a MOUNTAIN of research, over decades and decades and in every developed country on Earth, on this phenomenon. Your statement is truly incorrect.

          And your statement that women’s health attracts more funding then men’s calls for closer scrutiny. I knew that there has been a historical lack of data on female subjects in research in all manner of non-OB/GYN medical studies, so in preparation for this here comment I did some googling to fetch some statistics so I could merrily jump all over you with both feet. But what I found actually backed YOUR assertion. Results for search terms like “disparity in women’s health research” actually corroborate your statement, and it looks like marketing is the driving force… both positive marketing by individuals/groups advocating for women’s health concerns, and, unfortunately, the greedy corporate bastards who know a good host when they see it (some of whom certainly infect women’s health groups, masquerading as champions for women. Hey, women comprise over 50% of the population… that’s a hell of a gravy train for those looking to make a buck.) The upside is that women are FINALLY getting more representation in the research world, but the downside is widespread inequitable expenditure of time/effort/funding, and that’s NEVER good. So kudos to you for pointing that out.

          Look, Interested, I totally agree with you that female privilege exists, and not all of it is of the annoying “hold the door” variety. The gender bias in our legal system is DEVASTATING and GROSSLY unethical and every single one of us should stand up against it, regardless of our sex. What I (and I think a lot of others here) would really, really, reallllllly like to get across to you is that this is not the forum for your argument. Not because your argument “doesn’t belong” here, but because it literally undermines a struggle for equity and ethics. Don’t get me wrong; the struggle you are representing is TRULY IMPORTANT also. What I hope to show you is that your comments fail to effectively work for your cause because they’re in an inappropriate place and couched in an inappropriate manner. Ugh… how do I word this more clearly? I’m the WORLD’S WORST at being too wordy and if you’ve read this far I commend your patience, sir. I’m telling you you’re shooting yourself in the foot, in a comment so long that I’m shooting myself in the foot? I’m a GENIUS! :(

          How’s this: There are genuine and serious problems that women face in society, that are based on unfair gender stereotyping. Those problems not only hurt women; they hurt society as a whole. There are also genuine and serious problems that MEN face in society, that are based on unfair gender stereotyping, and those problems hurt men and hurt society as a whole. When people come together to discuss these things, they can gain understanding and can affect change across every level of society… from how they interact with their family, friends, and co-workers, to pushing their elected officials and leaders in the business community to take actions that result in real change. But if you come to a conversation about women’s issues and post comment after comment representing men’s issues, you’re not listening… and you’re contributing the not-listening of some others (much of the up-votes on your comments are the sad evidence of others not-listening.) If I went to a conversation about how negative gender stereotyping undermines fair treatment for men in our legal system and all I did was post examples of unfairness towards women, I would be undermining that conversation. I’d also be not-listening, not-considering, not-learning, and not likely to change my thoughts and actions in the real world. An opportunity for positive change would be missed.

          Many of the points you make are true–and NEED to be discussed. But because of the context you’ve made them in, they (and you, unfortunately) appear inappropriate, hostile, dismiss-able…. and a part of the problem. And that’s a genuine shame. We have a serious matter that people need to consider. So do you!!!! I pledge that I’ll do some reading up on men’s gender inequity (although I’ve done plenty of such reading before it’s still an extremely important issue and worth revisiting repeatedly until we actually FIX THAT SHIT BECAUSE IT’S WRONG), and I’ll put aside my own perspectives and read the articles and comments with genuine attention to what they are working so hard to communicate. It’s what I and others here are wishing you would do. It’s actually what this whole conversation is about- setting your own perspective aside for a moment to genuinely listen to a different one, so you can gain greater insight and help affect positive change.

  • Jerome

    Quite frankly, I find #13 offensive. While there are less men abused by their woman partners than the opposite, it is not that rare. And they get a lot less help when this happens.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jodi-Rives-Meier/1081411288 Jodi Rives Meier

      When men are attacked or assaulted, it is still overwhelmingly men who do it. We fix the problem of male abusers, we make things better for everyone. That is the point of most things feminist.

      • http://www.facebook.com/danielpereirablackiechan Daniel Pereira

        Really? Because it’s feminists who usually abuse their partners. Feminists strike me as advocating abuse and degradation of men in society. I disagree with feminism. I would much rather advocate equality. There’s a difference.

        • -_-

          i suggest you look up the definition of feminism.

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/7QIGBVBY6DDLOO2SXENOFZNAMI Jodi

            And I suggest you look up the definition of “look up.” It is silly to make a claim about what feminists “usually” do without any support. And feminism is about making gender expression–any gender expression–a non-issue. Whenever you guys jump in so defensively on these things, you are proving privilege in a way nothing else can. Feminism is reactive in nature–if everyone had played nicely from the start, there would be no need. It is disingenuous for you to say the equivalent of “Let’s all just get along because we’re all in the exact same boat”–when that is absolutely not true. When “all,” “get along,” “same,” and “boat” are explicitly and implicitly different for men and women in this society.

          • Kit

            most feminists need to look up the definition of feminism. 90% of the feminists I have met do not fight for equality; they don’t want to bring women up and make us equal, they want to drag men(particularly, straight, white, cis, christian, republican, rich men) down and some even past women, placing us at the top instead of placing all of us on the same level. I’ve yet to meet a feminist who actually wants equality and even fewer who actually realize that while most of the shit men deal with is from the sexism they created that is backfiring but it is still a problem that is seriously hurting innocent people. there is a difference between feminism and equality, and it is very sad that it is so.

          • virginia

            not sure who these feminists are you’ve met. not only my feminist friends (male and female) but also people I’ve met at relevant conferences, gatherings, meetings, rallies etc. are interested in abolishing gender privilege for the benefit of all people, just as you are saying. who are these women you claim to know, who want men to be subordinated? do you seriously know any? I can’t quite believe you are not trolling pretending to be something you’re not, because I’m a lifetime feminist and fighter for women’s rights and (outside of the extreme fringe that I’ve never met but only read about), I have never encountered this “subordinate men” thing you say is so common.

        • jasper

          Dude read a book. Statistically speaking woman who share sexiest views of themselves and power are the ones more likely to abuse their partners.

      • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

        “When men are attacked or assaulted, it is still overwhelmingly men who do it.”

        This depends heavily on how you are looking at assault/attack, especially when you get into sexual abuse against men and boys. If you pull from crime statistics, males tend to appear to be a majority of abusers, but this has a lot to do with what is reported, how abuse is defined (e.g. rape laws that require “penetration”), and how the police react to cases of female abusers.

        One example: When we look at pedophiles in crime stats, it appears female pedophiles are very rare, but when men who have been abused are interviewed, females represent a majority of the perpetrators reported.

        Anders Breivik offers a good example of this; a child who was sexually abused by his mother. The abuses were known by the authorities, but they refused to convict her or give custody to the father (despite his fights) because they worried about the effect of the child being separated from his mother. Later, after Anders became a mass murderer, he refused to have the topics of his sexual abuse be discussed in court because fear about how it would change the worlds perception of him and make him look like a victim. In this only one example, therefore it can’t be used for generalization, but it does show how perceptions held by the authorities, family, and even abuser lead to the statistics being skewed and create a dangerous potential for the victims to become future abusers. It’s important to note that, despite a wealth of evidence that Anders was frequently sexually abused by his mother as a child, his abuse is still not represented in statistics, as there was never a conviction.

        Finally, and equally important, like Jerome mentioned, men have less resources for help when they get abused. Focusing resources on enforcement while ignoring victims is not a recipe for rooting out the problem, but a recipe for nurturing more abusers.

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  • moviebetty

    maybe the idea of weight should be added. women who are overweight or have gained weight, especially in the entertainment biz, will more likely be called on it than men who have weight problems. “Men aren’t fat, only women are fat.” – Peter Griffin

    • MC

      Overweight people in general are often considered to be lazy or stupid, but women are judged more harshly.

    • http://twitter.com/ViveLeShelby Shelby

      Agreed, there are far more overweight men in entertainment, even in cartoon entertainment, than women. There are also more men who aren’t fit than women, and more men who fall within a healthy weight range/BMI but have a little extra in the middle than their female counterparts.

      • Interested

        Yet name one male actor who was significantly overweight and wasn’t either a villain or a comedian. Men who are overweight are seen as having little more than a comedic value (they are objects of ridicule) or value as an object lesson in what NOT to be.

  • ann

    #37. You can have hair on your body without being mocked. You are not advised to depilate. You don’t have to spend time, money and have pain to do so.
    [Sorry for mistakes. English is not my langage.]

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  • Gretch

    You don’t find yourself taking a calming breath before entering a
    dark parking lot or garage to retrieve your car. And when you get to your car,
    you may give a quick look in the back seat before entering, but do you scan
    around and under the car before approaching? Do you lock your door the moment
    you close it?

    • Interested

      Yes, actually, because men are much more likely to be a victim of violence than women.

      • Kit

        proof? honestly curious.

  • David

    I ran across some debates on whether roller derby is feminist or anti-feminist. So I’ll add that men can participate in sports without the entire blogosphere sitting in judgement on how it reflects on their gender.

    • Interested

      Yet men who decide not to participate in sports are often mocked, ridiculed and treated as somehow less than a man. How many boys in school had a fear of ridicule due to their disinterest or lower ability level in sports. I know of not one instance where a female is jedged negatively for not wanting to participate in sports.

  • chief

    - All major theistic God figures are of your own sex.

    - You can be half naked in public AND private, bare chested, like it’s the most normal, natural thing in the world. Fortunately, for you, it is.

    - You’ll never be admonished/doubted for pursing your own pleasure or speaking your mind because of your sex.

    - You are not expected to, “play nice,” in competitive environments, nor will you be shamed for reveling in victory.

    - When anyone writes logically, directly, dispassionately, or… successfully, without prior exposure, they are assumed to be of your sex.

    - Being outspoken is always some kind of virtue, rather than a perpetual double edged sword, because of your sex.

    - You can be less physically attractive than your partner without it being an issue. In fact, this may come as a sense of entitlement.

    - You can expect the other sex to take on all the weight of responsibility when dealing with “serious” contraceptives (such as pills that alter body chemistry). All you need is a one-use, low cost condom and you’ve done your job.

    - Your baseline sense of self worth and outward confidence (apart from your inborn personality) is in large part due to your own sex’s prerogative, which you have absorbed since birth. You’ve never known what it’s like to live without this cushion.

    - You have been actively and passively empowered to be the, “master,” of your own life at every corner, at every turn, however self-evident of a virtue this may be. Refer to, “king of his kingdom,” type enactments and declarations.

    - Movie protagonists, video game characters, toy figurines are always, and primarily visible as your sex.

    - When you express yourself through your emotions or faith, you are seen as courageous and worthy of respect, instead of simply being, “emotional,” or, “doing what you do.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

      Nicely put. *applauds*

    • Interested

      Some points:
      -First nation, Hindu and many other religions may disagree with you about the idea of all major deities being male (of course, maybe almost a billion Hindus don’t count to your western viewpoint)
      -Men are routinely admonished for not ‘acting like men’
      -Men are pushed into competitive sports and judged harshly if they do not want to participate. Women don’t have that pressure to the same degree.
      -Men are judged harshly if they don’t treat women well. I don’t have women giving up seats on buses or holding doors open for me.
      -The WHO may disagree that condoms aren’t serious contraception. I don’t think men are forcing you to take the pill.
      -Men are pushed to push themselves, and damned for not doing so. Why are more women than men now graduating from high school and universities? Why are females routinely funded to move into science, technology and engineering, yet there is no funding to help men move into nursing, teaching or design?
      -Movie protagonists, game characters and figurines always male? So Anna Karenina, Lara Croft, Barbie, Dora the Explorer, Strawberry Shortcake, Red Sonja, Jane (of Jane and the Dragon), Miss Piggy, Madame Bovary, Dana Sculley, Storm (X Men), Jean Grey (X-Men), Wonder Woman, Sabrina, Tabitha, Marsha, Cindy and even Buffy are… cross dressers?
      -Yet as a man, the only emotion you are allowed to express is anger. If you wish to express fear, loneliness, rejection, anxiety, hurt or distress, you’re condemned. Why are women given freedom to have such a wide emotional range, and men allowed just two states. Anger, or nothing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/cassidy.nicholson.7 Cassidy Nicholson

        These pressures on the male identified push some men down along with the women. In a male privileged society, the non-conforming males are considered women and therefore are repressed, often more harshly than cis-women.

      • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

        “Men are pushed into competitive sports”

        This brings me back to the 6th grade when my teacher pressured me into joining the football league (6th-8th graders participated in the league). I had zero interest but he pushed me to do it. Being the smallest kid in the 6th grade, and playing with kids who were much farther through puberty than me, it pretty much guaranteed me to sitting on the bench most of the time, filling in when enough people were sick/injured or the game was so lost it didn’t matter. And when I did get a chance to play… that was even worse because it would be about 20-30 seconds before I got my face smashed in.

        I was lucky enough to not be one of the boys with a father that forced them to do dumb shit like this, so as soon as the season ended I said good-bye to team sports for good. So many kids do have dads/moms/girlfriends that come to every game and yell at them to succeed and personally, I feel a huge pity for them. This must account for at least a part of the high suicide rates of young boys (2-3x that of girls depending on age/location). I still did sports (snowboarding, skiing, climbing) and eventually competed at a high level and had some injuries, but I was much happier getting my ass kicked by a rock or mountain than by a kid twice my size.

        Anyways, male privilege exists, but it certainly doesn’t mean males have it easier or even better.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jodi-Rives-Meier/1081411288 Jodi Rives Meier

    I teach Communication courses at the college level and I was interested lately to find out what my students really think/know when they hear the term “privilege” in a context like this. Especially since I feel the term is being used more frequently in the mainstream. So, I had all three classes (about 90 people roughly equally divided by gender presentation) get out a piece of notebook paper. I told them NOT to put their name on the paper–only to indicate at the top whether they consider themselves male or female (which caused a big confusion uproar from the start–What the heck does “consider” mean? Either you are or you aren’t. Sigh. A long way to go.) Then I told them I wanted only serious answers, no screwing around. Finally, I instructed them to make a list of all the things they do on a regular/daily basis (i.e. not just once/one time ever) to avoid being sexually assaulted. And there was half a class pandemonium–because those who consider themselves female started busily writing the instant I was done giving the instructions and those who identify as male had about a million questions: You mean to avoid sexually assaultING for us, right? Can you give an example? What do you mean? What if you don’t do anything? Etc. I responded only cursorily to their questions because that’s part of the experience of privilege, right? You can’t even conceive of the “other” way/side/experience. When they were done writing (which took much longer for the women than the men, of course), I asked the female-identified folk to give their list first. Immediate hubbub–Watch what you wear. Carry pepper spray. Never walk alone at night/ever. Always tell someone where you are going. Keep your car keys between your fingers in parking lots/on the street. Don’t wear your hair in a ponytail/bun when you jog so you won’t be so easy to grab (this was a new one even for me). And on and on and on. Then, I asked the male-identified folk to give their list. And, for all three classes, the only response? Don’t go to prison (and a few sub-topic suggestions of how to avoid assault if you DO go to prison–like the standard don’t drop the soap, but also don’t wipe after you defecate–my word usage, not theirs–to make your _______________ less attractive). That’s it. The only exception was one young man who identifies very openly as gay–he had a few more concerns to address. Otherwise, the guys just looked around absolutely dumbfounded while the gals were talking. These things never occurred to them. To carry it further, I asked for a show of hands of: How many of you know to look in the backseat of your car before you get in? How many of you know to stand away from your car when unlocking it to avoid getting grabbed from underneath? How many of you know not to park next to vans, especially panel vans, because the door can open and you can get pulled in? How many of you lock the front door when you are home alone/showering? How many of you lock the car door first thing before anything else when you get inside? Predictably, every single female hand went up and not a single male hand. In fact, there were MANY protestations of what? huh? who does that? really? seriously? Then I asked who in the room knew to watch their drink so no one could put anything in it–and I was surprised to see every hand go up. Weird and unexpected for me. Then I asked why and they were divided right down the middle again–the gals so they wouldn’t get assaulted, the guys so they wouldn’t get robbed. I asked the entire class how much time they spent every day/that day thinking about avoiding assault. Every gal said some time period, every guy (except my gay-identified student) said none. And THAT, I told them, is privilege–when you get more time in your day to be doing other things than thinking about assault. In one class, we even carried it further than the extreme example of assault. I asked the class to show by a raise of hands who had ever paid for something in a store/restaurant and had the change handed to their companion, who had ever had their companion asked to order for them in a restaurant, who had ever had a companion asked to answer for them in a social situation–and, once again, every female hand had gone up and every male hand had stayed down (even the gay-identifed student’s this time). The guys were all just gape-jawed at the questions–even though the odds are spectacular they’ve BEEN WITH a female companion when it happened multiple times. And, obviously, this conversation leads into discussions of other privilege, right? Unlike other semesters, I currently only have cis-identified students, so I asked them to show by raise of hands how many of them had ever made a class or social schedule around having to go home to use the bathroom because they were not allowed to use the one they feel comfortable with at their school/social destination. And they looked at me like I was crazy–are we talking about bathrooms closed for cleaning, or what? And so on. It was VERY enlightening–and, in a few cases, annoying because there are always those folk who get worked up over having their privilege pointed out, aren’t there? And when those people immediately defaulted (as they always seem to) to the place of my life isn’t always a picnic you know, we had to talk about that as well. Hopefully, some of them walked away with a better understanding. Hopefully, none of them walked away and kicked the dog.

    • Egalitarian

      With such sexist professors, no wonder the world is f***ed up. Or did you perhaps turn the tables and show examples of how men get short-changed in the next lecture?

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/7QIGBVBY6DDLOO2SXENOFZNAMI Jodi

        You may be unfamiliar with what “sexist” means. The activity was worth no points or grade and everyone in the class was equally free to respond and/or participate. Where is the disenfranchisement or privileging of one sex in that? (What sexism means, incidentally). And it is always (appallingly) interesting to me how immediately someone (usually a man) insists on turning any conversation regarding women’s issues or male privilege into a sad tale of how ignored the men are. Did you READ the list above? Those things exist objectively–merely discussing them does not create or exacerbate them. Why is it so dang hard for some men to acknowledge their good fortune when it comes to these things? Aren’t there women/girls in your life whom you love? Don’t you want a world where your mother or daughter or wife or sister is not subject to these inequities? And to what short-changing do you refer? The kind where you have always been able to vote or own property or choose when/if to marry? The kind where all non-body part-specific employment has always been and is open to you? The kind where, if you marry, you will statistically live longer than your single peers but your wife will live shorter than hers? The kind where one in three or four are NOT your odds of being sexually assaulted in your lifetime (or one in two if you join the military)? The kind where academic institutions have always been open to your sex? Those kinds? Fixing these problems of inequity and privilege does not start with everyone getting acknowledged as having it equally tough–because not everyone does. It starts with the dominant population–in this specific case those who identify as male, but in other cases people who identify as straight or cis gender or who are white or are of means, etc.–recognizing they got a good deal and working to make sure others get a chance at a good deal as well.

        • jodi_NO

          This is why i became an engineer i don’t want anything to do with female teachers teaching this junk. FEMALE PRIVILEDGE EXISTS TO http://www.wihe.com/printBlog.jsp?id=400

          • Zebra

            If you look through the comments, you may find that you have been out-listed.

          • Bijal

            The existence of male privilege does not deny or negate the existence of female privilege, in fact by default you are pointing out inequity which limits all people to preset expectations. For example, as a woman you have fewer role model of fellow females who had long, prolific careers. But as the list you pointed out shows, conversely men are expected to have uninterrupted, lucrative careers so they can be the breadwinners.

            Sexual assault is real. 90% of rape victims are women. 1 in 6 women are victims of attempted or completed rape. It is 1 in 33 for men . This is not just a situation of paranoia but a reality (RAINN). The fact that sexual assault is so prevalent and so gender biased hurts all of us.

            You don’t have to get defensive or make generalized accusations at the entire class of female teachers, because female privilege and male privilege are not mutually exclusive. It is an invaluable exercise, however, to consider exactly what it does feel like to be in another person’s shoes and be aware of what issues are of heightened concern to them. And for women the realities of sexual assault are one of them.

    • Brendan

      I didn’t read the whole thing, but I think your survey has more to do with how paranoid your students were rather than how victimized. Men are far more likely to be victims of every type of violence except rape, and when you include rape, men are still more likely to be victims of violence. That’s a fact and you can’t honestly argue with it. All I got from this is that women are brain-washed to feel victimized and paranoid. No wonder it’s so hard to have a conversation. Did you ask next, “how often are you suspected of being a violent criminal while minding your own business?” Also, most of the advice the women gave was absurd. You attribute much more cunning and malice to most men than they actually have.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Deanna.Hallmark Deanna Joy Hallmark

        I am sorry, SIR, but you have only clearly demonstrated your gender bias by your obnoxious and sexist comment “No wonder its hard to have a conversation” so everything you claim to be fact is tainted by that same bias, although I would doubt you would admit to it without damaging your reputation as being “manly.”

      • Kittae

        I had a sociology class that did the exact same exercise, but it was “how many of you have been put in a pair of handcuffs during a normal traffic stop?” and the only hands up were black men’s.

        Privilege is something to look at from many different directions.

    • http://www.facebook.com/heather.job Heather J?b

      I love this lesson. It gets really tiresome seeing my fellow students being completely unaware of their male privilege, and I think it would be really good to show them the reality of being a woman in our culture, even if just so they understand why we still need feminism. You could do similar “check your privilege” lessons with race.

  • M

    You have not seen people of your sex consistently and routinely portrayed as weak, vulnerable, and unable to defend themselves (news reports, movies, TV).
    You have consistently and routinely seen people of your sex portrayed as strong and able to inflict violence and force on others.
    Every president of the US has shared your sex.
    If you work for a corporation, you can expect many, most, or all of the high-level leadership to be of your sex.
    Before taking a job (in many industries), you need not question whether your sex will hinder your success in the company or department you are joining. (I think there are some industries and jobs where the opposite is the case.)
    You do not routinely hear jokes that equate your sex with lack of intelligence (often with specific physical attributes, e.g. Being blonde

    • Interested

      Yet women are not routinely seen as suspicious around children, potential aggressors and perpetrators just waiting for a chance to strike. Ask men in a room how many times they have been viewed negatively as social buffoons, relationship halfwits, aggressive threats and useless, unhelpful and selfish, and every single one will want to raise their hand. Hell, remember the Readers Digest column of ‘Mere Male’ where every month women wrote in about what morons their husbands were? It is time we recognized that each gender has stereotypes that are limiting, demeaning and difficult. Let’s all try to fix them without the ‘Oh, but it’s harder for me because of…..’ stuff that both genders can trot out.

  • M

    If you have an other-sex partner, it is unlikely that your partner will expect you to do more / most / all of the housework and childcare. It is likely that your partner will expect to do at least 50% of such things.
    If you have an other-sex partner, you routinely encounter examples of male-female relationships in which the person of your sex does significantly less housework / childcare. (statistics, movies, etc.)
    You do not routinely encounter portrayals of people of your sex in sexually objectified manner in “mainstream” places. (I am aware of gay/bi male objectification. I am thinking of things like seeing Playboy for sale at the convenience store.)
    You may have had few encounters in which you have been viewed as a potential sex object because of your sex (May apply mostly to hetero men.)

    I feel like I could go on endlessly, but I need to get some food.

  • Jay

    1) You are constantly expected to worry about the safety of the woman you’re with.

    a) when walking alone with her at night, in a parking garage, etc. you must be considering endless scenarios in which you will have to take charge and put your own safety at risk for the sake of your companion.

    2) You HAVE to be tough. You aren’t allowed to complain, cry, or anything of that nature.

    3) you can’t spend too much time thinking about how you look (even if you want to) or women and men will question your manliness and sexuality.

    4) Every time you interact with little children, you have to worry about being accused of sexual harassment.

    5) During sexual encounters. Even in a situation where you and your partner are intoxicated, you have to bear the responsibility of determining whether or not her thinking is AT ALL impaired (even if yours is too, and even if she assures you she is fine) because you may be accused of rape.

    a) I undersand the terrible nature of rape, and of course acknowledge that being raped is more damaging than being accused of it. However, the latter is not something to ignore, seeing as how it can put you in jail.

    6) when pursuing a career, you must frequently put making money ahead of following your passions b/c you are expected to be the primary supporter of your family.

    7) In any dangerous situation, society believes you are the most expendable commodity. (ie the killing of women and children is almost always deemed a separate and worse category than young men)

    8)People are almost always more sympathetics to women than they are to men. Men are just expected to “suck it up”

    9) Women can be incredibly emotionally abusive to men, yet the men aren’t allowed to do anything about it.

    10) There is constant pressure from society to be buff and tall (the second one you cannot even do anything about)

    My point with these is not to undermine the arguments put forth about the privileges experienced by men over women. Instead, I mean just to demonstrate that there are countless societal expectations men have to deal with every day too. However, as one of the most primary of these expectations is that men must be tough, stoic, and uncomplaining, you really never hear about them. I think that these types of conversations are incredibly productive, how ever, it seems apparent in this thread, that the goal has shifted from an attempt to elucidate various privileges experienced by genders, into an incredibly resentful, one sided conversation.

    • ninch

      I really like your list cause it’s one that does very well point out how the current ‘system’ also hurts men. It’s a nice example of how we can take the male privilege list further and think about how men as ‘the ruling class’ also suffer and could greatly benefit from more equity.

    • http://twitter.com/ViveLeShelby Shelby

      Hopefully this article can help you see why your distress as a person of privilege is different than the distress of people who aren’t male and men: http://weeklysift.com/2012/09/10/the-distress-of-the-privileged/

    • http://www.facebook.com/brando.furtado Brando Furtado

      You do understand this is male privilege? Even the disadvantages. If you think male privilege means “men suck and women have it hard” than you are over simplifying and not really giving this issue much thought. This is not an us vs them issue. This is simply an exercise in being aware of the invisible rules and stereotypes that exist in society and how to change them.

      Unfortunately you seem to think that male privilege means that men have it easy, because you seem to think feminists have it out for men.

      You should be concerned about eradicating all disadvantages of people. Does writing your list somehow invalidate the issues that women face?

      Seriously guys, stop being so defensive about this little word. It is not meant to attack you. Yes, there are usually young, hyper undergrads who take these arguments and run with them and use them to attack straight men, but scratch passed the surface.

      All the things you listed are real. And if you had done your research you would see that these are all things that come with male privilege. They are the negative consequences of that privilege.

      Let me go over them one by one.

      1. Men are expected to be the strong one. If he fails to protect the ones he loves he

      is seen as less than a man. By other men and women. Feminists did not create this
      scenario. A disadvantage for both men and women created by male privilege.

      2. Women have never had the power to tell you that showing your emotions is unmanly.

      This comes from other men. And women who are simply existing in the culture created by our ancestors. A disadvantage created by male privilege to write the rules of behavior
      and to define masculinity as something precious and valuable rather than by simply being born with a penis.

      3.Women are supposed to be the pretty one. They are supposed to shave everything,
      paint their faces and wear underwear that pushes around their body parts. A man doing
      this is seen by society as being womanly. This was not created by women to oppress men. This was created by men to create a division between the sexes. To define masculinity and define femininity and it’s proper role in society.

      4. Society encourages men to be sexual aggressors. Society however also values the innocence of children. Therefore a sexual male and an innocent child together arouses suspicion. This was not created by feminists to make men feel bad. This existed before feminism. Men are horny bastards is a construct of male privilege. We are encouraged to “score” to “get her into bed.” Our language and society treats sex like a sport. A hunt. Can’t blame the feminists for this one. The suspicion is there because women are supposed to be the nurturing ones so a man MUST have an ulterior motive if he is around children /s (this is now how i think but how society as a whole thinks)

      5. This one may very well be the result of feminism .I can give you this one. However consider history for a second and realize that there was a time, in your fathers or grandfathers time, not that long ago, where a woman could not come forward to accuse someone of rape without suffering damage to her reputation.

      This is an example of the pendulum swinging and course correction. When the pendulum swings too far one way, and eventually swings back the other way, it has a tendency to over swing.

      You can discuss number 5 with a feminist and if you are reasonable, and she is reasonable, she will listen to you but you should also listen to her. You might find common ground or a solution to the problem. Not everything has to be an us vs them type fight. You can be acknowledged for all the ways you are disadvantaged in life and not have to trivialize others disadvantages in doing so.

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  • anon

    As a gay man who has been sexually assaulted, number 10 is highly offensive, regardless of the fact that the perpetrator was another man.

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  • negro joe

    im pretty skeptical of “HURR MALE CIS STRAIGHT PRIVELEGE DIE CIS SCUM” i will agree with some like “appearances will not affect males as much in terms of careers” but come on. saying “chances are” and “will most likely happen” are not substitutes for evidence. how does all of this “members of the same sex” shit matter in the slightest? it dosent. and im not sure exactly how that is a privelege in the first place. oh. and the male privelge i thought of for your list is “if you are a man in the united states you will have to sign up for the draft to vote” or. ” if you are a man statistically only 24% of the time, you will not lose your children in a divorce”

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  • J

    I only agreed with about four of these. Most of them seem to be very opinionated or rely on myths.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

    Penis,cock and dick are acceptable but vagina and pussy are seen as dirty words.

    • Interested

      Yes, of course. Everyone reacts so well to being called a dick.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

    You should do an article on the word “Gay”,used as a slang word. IE:”Dude,stop being gay!” After someone parkours or what have you,you know what I mean.

  • JS

    Not to downplay the abuse that happens to women, but points Thirteen and Fourteen are most certainly not correct, but otherwise this is a pretty great list.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/logan.holtz.33 Logan Holtz

    This article reminded me of the time I wasn’t expected to pick up a girl with flowers buy her a meal, drinks and then walk her home…..O yea that’s right that never happens. I believe in gender equality but people should realize there are privileges in both genders. PS half of these are contradicting like 3. talks about driving and men have to pay more for car insurance than women on the assumption they drive more recklessly.

  • http://twitter.com/ViveLeShelby Shelby

    If you have a bad day or are in a bad mood, people aren’t going to blame it on your sex
    Addendum: or especially the bodily functions associated with your sex (period, menopause)

    If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children
    Addendum: And you probably won’t have to share custody or be forced by law to allow unsupervised visits with your children to an abusive partner. Many women who are abused by partners that they had children with are forced by a judge to share custody of their children or allow UNsupervised visits, regardless of abuse allegations, or even convictions sometimes. I don’t have a source for it except that we learned about it in my Women’s Health class (a 400 level college course) in the Violence Against Women section last week.

  • Sonja

    When in a mixed-sex group (mostly in educational situations)…
    *you can be sure that your opinion will be listened to and considered by almost all authorities
    *if you are outspoken, it is expected of you, rather than people thinking you are too annoying or load-mouthed for your gender
    *if you do not behave properly and/or get bad results, people rationalize it as “normal” and your authorities will probably not tell you that you are setting a bad example for everyone else of your gender

    The first two are particulary important for me and what I, as a Swedish female teenager, have experienced.

  • Jeff M

    Congrats, you win the ‘white knight’ of the year award.

  • Kathleen

    “If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children”
    In fact, a relatively large proportion of men experience intimate partner abuse in their lifetime. Men are simply less likely to be hospitalized for their injuries, or to report the abuse to the police.
    I completely agree with the rest of this list, and I love this website and supported the Kickstart for the Gender book, but I have a male partner who was abused in a heterosexual relationship with a female for over 4 years, and I know of many other cases. He rarely needed an emergency room, and he never went to the police. Intimate partner abuse of males is just a hidden and misunderstood issue.

  • Fuji

    Agh, these are just awful. I’m sorry… There are many examples of male privilege, but some of these are just straight up atrocious.

    “26. You can spend time on your appearance without having people criticizing you for upholding unhealthy gender norms.”

    That not only doesn’t make sense (nobody criticizes people for being normal), but it’s actually the complete opposite of the truth. When men put effort into their appearance, they aren’t commended for it with a “good job deviating from gender norms!” More likely they’re derided for it. A man who puts a lot of effort into his appearance is apt to be called a “fag” or a “homo.”

  • SpikedYum

    I am going to address one here, or maybe a few, because this list is just so unbelievably idiotic that I just can’t take this “Sam” seriously.

    We are priviledged because we don’t fear anyone that walks in the same areas as us at night? Why would a woman “fear” people at night? Because she is more likely to be raped than a man? Well men are more likely to be violently assaulted than a woman is to be raped, and yet we do not fear people at night. So what this boils down to is that we are privileged because women are paranoid…That is like a suicidal person saying “you are privileged because “I” am suicidal.”
    Not only this, but I, as a man, am privileged to be assumed as a threat, a criminal, a sexual deviant, simply because she is paranoid? Oh yes. Male privilege, I mean, what shows our privilege more than being assumed to being criminal scum simply for being a man at night, right? Such male privilege.

    Number four has interested me. A lot of women “are” hired simply for being women, that is not an opinion, that is a fact. If it is privilege to state these things that are “possibilities”, then you are saying it is privilege to assume a possibility. God damn our privilege, understanding society and affirmative action! Such male privilege to understand facts!
    Even then I have not heard this once, even when it “can” be the case.

    “Women are bad drivers” is what you are getting at. When people say that it tends to be in a “joke” form. I have said it, many other people have said it, but do we mean it to be taken seriously? No. Stop passing off jokes to be taken seriously.

    Number six, I can only assume you are nipping at the whole “wage gap myth”, well sorry, “Sam”, but that myth has been proven wrong, and it has been proven wrong by showing that men make different choices in their life better suited to their career than women do, and the sacrifices they make to gain more money. This can also be applied to the whole “manager being male” part, or any other variation of this particular topic.

    “Most political representatives share your sex, particularly the higher-ups”…That’s fine and dandy, but how does that benefit “me” as a male? How is this “my” privilege?
    Also, men are more likely to take up a career in politics than women, so more men are going to be the “higher ups”, because “more men” are working to get there. If you are saying men are privileged for working towards something more than women, then I have no words. What do you expect men to do, pull back from the careers they want to work towards just so it can please the feminists? (Yes, I am fairly certain you are a feminist).

    “You are not pressured by peers and society to be thin as much as the opposite sex”…Oh? Maybe not “skinny”, but society is showing just as much “buff” guys as “thin” women in the media. Look up crap like Twilight, Vampire Diaries, and all the other modern TV-shows. Look at the commercials, look at the official music videos, there are just as much implying “buff guys are better” as the “thin girl” ones. Simply because males do not take media as seriously as women do as the thing they have to work towards does not make us privileged. Simply because women want to be like the girls in the media does not mean men are privileged simply for not doing the same.

    “You’re not expected to spend excessive amounts of money on grooming,
    style, and appearance to fit in, while making less money than the
    opposite sex.”…Nobody “expects” women to do this. People may “prefer” it, but they do not “expect” it. But then again, this can be applied to men. Men must keep their hair short to look professional, where as a woman does not. If a man has hair as long as a woman, he has to cut it or he does not “fit in”, same goes with facial hair, if a man lets it grow out, he does not “fit in”. Does that mean females have privilege? By your reasoning it does.
    Again, the earning less money has already been explained.

    This is as far as I am going, as this list has obviously not been thought over, like most feminists ideas of how “males are privileged”.

    Again, the one that stands out here the most to the irrationality and ignorance in this list is my first point – that I am privileged because a woman views me as a violent rapist simply for being a man.

    Seriously, get a grip. Why do we have so many people like “this” as the ones talking about “oppression”, and so on? It’s not just here, but in many areas we have people like this, trying to comply with what is politically correct, regardless of if it is rationally or morally correct.

  • SpikedYum

    Male privilege again, I made a long response to showing why you are wrong, and it gets deleted.

    Male privilege – Having to accept that you are privileged in ways you can prove wrong or be silenced.

    You have no right to speak on behalf of oppression and “social justice” after deleting opposing arguments you dislike.

  • SpikedYum

    Apologies for my “deleting” rant”, I am new to here and could not see my comment on the default comment section that is “best”.

    Apologies for my last comment.

  • Karola

    The page adresses the reader, saying “you”, implying all readers of this page are male.

  • K

    You don’t have to be labeled as just playing “hard to get” if you don’t want to be with someone.