Social Justice Advocates Handbook: A Guide to Gender Understanding

30+ Examples of Male Privilege

by Sam Killermann · 258 comments

in Gender,Privilege Lists

"Mount Dragmore" Comic

Following is a list of male privileges.  If you are male (and a man), listed below are benefits that result from being born with that gender and sex.  If you identify as a man, there’s a good chance you’ve never thought about these things.  Try and be more cognizant of these privileges in your daily life and you’ll understand how much work we have to do to make for a society that is equitable to all people, regardless of their gender.

  1. Get my book!
    If you have a bad day or are in a bad mood, people aren’t going to blame it on your sex
  2. You can be careless with your money and now have people blame it on your sex
  3. You can be a careless driver and not have people blame it on your sex
  4. You can be confident that your coworkers won’t assume you were hired because of your sex
  5. If you are never promoted, it isn’t because of your sex
  6. You can expect to be paid equitably for the work you do, and not paid less because of your sex
  7. If you are unable to succeed in your career, that won’t be seen as evidence against your sex in the workplace
  8. A decision to hire you won’t be based on whether or not the employer assumes you will be having children in the near future
  9. Work comfortably (or walk down a public street) without the fear of sexual harassment
  10. Walk alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed
  11. Go on a date with a stranger without the fear of being raped
  12. Dress how you want and not worry you it will be used as a defense if you are raped
  13. If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children
  14. You can decide not to have children and not have your masculinity questioned
  15. If you choose to have children, you will praised for caring for your children, instead of being expected to be the full-time caretaker
  16. Balance a career and a family without being called selfish for not staying at home (or being constantly pressured to stay at home)
  17. If you are straight and decide to have children with your partner, you can assume this will not affect your career
  18. If you rise to prominence in an organization/role, no one will assume it is because you slept your way to the top
  19. You can seek political office without having your sex be a part of your platform
  20. You can seek political office without fear of your relationship with your children, or who you hire to take care of them, being scrutinized by the press
  21. Most political representatives share your sex, particularly the higher-ups
  22. Get my book!
    Your political officials fight for issues that pertain to your sex
  23. You can ask for the “person in charge” and will likely be greeted by a member of your sex
  24. As a child, you were able to find plenty of non-limiting, gender role stereotyped media to view
  25. You can not care about your appearance without worrying about about being criticized at work or in social situations
  26. You can spend time on your appearance without having people criticizing you for upholding unhealthy gender norms
  27. If you’re not conventionally attractive (or in shape), you don’t have to worry as much about that negatively affecting your potential
  28. You are not pressured by peers and society to be thin as much as the opposite sex
  29. You’re not expected to spend excessive amounts of money on grooming, style, and appearance to fit in, while making less money than the opposite sex
  30. Have promiscuous sex and be viewed positively for it
  31. You can go to a car dealership or mechanic and assume you’ll get a fair deal and not be taken advantage of
  32. Expressions and conventional language reflects your sex (e.g., mailman, “all men are created equal”)
  33. Every major religion in the world is led by individuals of your sex
  34. You can practice religion without subjugating yourself or thinking of yourself as less because of your sex
  35. You are less likely to be interrupted than members of the opposite sex
  36. Leave more examples in the comments below.

Written by Sam Killermann

Sam is a writer and performer who uses those skills as an ally to advance progress in the realms of LGBT equality and social justice. He tours the country speaking to college students about stereotypes, prejudice, and oppression, and writes for this site when he's at home in Austin, TX.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/debra.s.brooks.9 Debra Shannon Brooks

    If you rise to prominence in an organization, no one will assume it is because you slept your way to the top.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for being the brave first commenter, Debra. That’s a great one. I’ll add it right now.

  • http://twitter.com/k0smicd0lphins JC

    Isn’t this list a bit .. well… heteronormative?

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      It is. It’s far more cis-normative. I tried to avoid it, but some of these are certainly straight male privileges. Or straight, White male privileges. Or straight, White, non-disabled male privileges.

      Any suggestions on how to improve it?

      • Falkner09

        I noticed that “Have promiscuous sex and be viewed positively for it” is really only true of straight men. Gay men get cut down for it, even by other gay men. Often.

  • http://www.facebook.com/brittony.lefever Brittony LeFever

    You can get rather awesome Halloween costumes that aren’t *all* some variant of ‘sexy’. Y’know, not like I wanted to be Captain America for Halloween or anything. Or a version of Alice with a dress that actually went past my butt. Or any costume really, with a dress that goes past my butt. I’m six foot tall and they make these skimpy for average girls, on me they’re actually indecent.
    Oh hey, how about you can go jeans shopping and the sizes make sense and are all tailored to the same width and not some ambiguous size the company has decided on?

    • Kek

      That last one’s not a “privilege” thing. That’s a “women’s bodies tend to have greater variety” thing. I think

      • Kit

        no, actually, in particular for jeans some companies change their size to “make women feel better about their size” because they can by a size 2 jean when it’s actually a size 6, but not all companies do that and so it gets very confusing when you try and buy jeans from a different brand and the sizes are all different(not to mention jeans in particular just have SO many different variants it’s even MORE confusing than the other companies that already have changes in their sizing)

        we have something even more different for body variants on top of all that. I will say though to me it’s a little less “privilege” and more “men who want to fix their problem can’t figure out how and just made it worse because they’re not even 100% sure what they did wrong in the first place”.

      • rachelyra

        men’s fashion designer here, and nope, men’s bodies vary the same amount. it’s distributed differently, and we arent socialized to fixate on, eg, the length of men’s arms, or the relationship between the depth and width of their chest, the same way we are trained to evaluate women’s eg breast size, and so we notice the variance less.

        additionally, since women are socialized to care more about the fit of their clothes, there is more consumer demand for varied fits. this should read as yet another piece of evidence about inequality, since women are expected to spend much more time, money, and precious mental bandwidth on their clothing and appearance.

    • Archy

      “Oh hey, how about you can go jeans shopping and the sizes make sense and are all tailored to the same width and not some ambiguous size the company has decided on?”
      I wear 4 different size clothes by the label and I am a MALE. The clothes themselves vary between brands.

  • kazerniel

    Thank you for this!

  • Frooo

    You have more possibility of being open and friendly to strangers without them assuming you are signaling that you are sexually available, and at times blaming you for not putting out after “leading them on”.

    Strangers of the opposite sex will not attack you verbally if you choose not to respond, or not to respond friendly to random inquiries about yourself on random occasions (in bar, on street etc).

    • Jess

      I get that all the time and it makes me dislike who I am. I dress very casually these days so I don’t get harassed or slobbered over. I must be the only person who prefers winter to summer, purely because I don’t want to expose my body and be subjected to such things.

      • eden

        You’re definitely not the only person that prefers winter to summer for that reason.

      • Kawamura T.

        No, you’re not. (Hi!)

    • Archy

      “Strangers of the opposite sex will not attack you verbally if you choose not to respond, or not to respond friendly to random inquiries about yourself on random occasions (in bar, on street etc).”
      Speak for yourself. Street harassment isn’t unique to women. The ignorance in these comments is astounding, do you folks actually know any men or just make guesses of how men live with a “grass is always greener” envious vision of men’s lives?

      • Lia Walsh

        Ever heard of “Derailing for Dummies”? It’s a great resource including this and other ways you can derail conversations about oppression by making them all about you! For instance:

        “You must nod patiently as the marginalized person tries to gain your understanding of the many complicated and subtle ways this othering impacts their lives until they come across a point that seems particularly grating for them. Then you must say ‘oh, but I experience that too!’”

        http://www.derailingfordummies.com/

        You should check it out sometime. I get the impression you’d get a lot of use out of it, and the world needs way more commenters like you!

        /end sarcasm.

        For those of you reading who are serious about anti-oppression issues, you really should check out the site when you get a second, if you haven’t already done so. If nothing else, it’s nice to have a giggle once in a while about something that’s really not funny at all. That, and it arms you against morons like this guy and gives you something to say other than the (admittedly quite accurate) “You’re an idiot” line.

        Although, I have to admit that even in my extensive experience in gender issues debates, this is a new one for me. The idea that street harassment is just as much of an issue for men is kind of mind-blowing, considering I have female friends who are literally harassed every single day of their lives. It’s almost nice that he’s managed to change it up for me.

        • Archy

          And you should do some reading about how being dismissive, snarky and quite rude is one of the very best ways to lose a lot of allies. This isn’t derailing, this is pointing out a false statement. The original poster said something that was not true, I corrected them. Wanna guess how I know? BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN PUNCHED MULTIPLE TIMES for refusing to buy a drink for someone, I’ve had people be rude and verbally attack me if I ignored their friendly or not-so-friendly enquiries.

          Thank you for your condescending femsplaining though. You strawman my comment because you lack the reading comprehension or something to understand that the comment wasn’t at all saying it was equal levels, I am saying that men get harassed at times too which proves that commenter wrong who states it’s a female-only issue. Do you understand this? Saying you’re far less likely to be verbally harassed is fine because it’s most likely true just like I can say women are far less likely to be physically assaulted (as in punches, not sexual assault such as groping which women get more) than a man. But saying it DOES NOT HAPPEN is just false and ignorant. Nice dismissal of another gender too, I guess your prejudice is acceptable though right? And people wonder why very few men want to actually be in the gender debate when it’s so common for them to have someone try shut them down due to strawmans and because they are male, because men’s opinion’s don’t matter right? Men don’t experience verbal harassment as listed right? I am unique, my experiences never happened, they were just figments of my imagination right? Get a clue please.

          Thank-you also for calling me a moron, considering you are the one that failed to read or understand my comment and just showed how ignorant you are. Maybe next time instead of a condescending femsplanation to try “put me in my place” and act like I am a troll, you could read my words more carefully and understand I was correcting a statement that is very easy to disprove?

          • Lia Walsh

            With “allies” like you, who needs enemies, I wonder? Rule one of being a decent ally: shut up and listen long enough to understand someone else’s perspective. Your tactic? Tell people their experience is only as relevant as yours (or perhaps not even). Sounds to me like you need a 101 course on what it is to be a decent ally. [Here’s a good one: http://theangryblackwoman.com/2009/10/01/the-dos-and-donts-of-being-a-good-ally/

            This is an article talking about male privilege, and hilariously (hilarious only because I’d rather laugh than cry, to be frank), you actually exercise your male privilege by claiming it doesn’t exist and firing off about how mistreated YOU are.

            You’re officially not worth any more of my time until you learn what actual allyship is.

          • Archy

            Did I say there is no male privilege? Stop strawmanning my comments. I believe there is male privilege, the thing is I am pointing out that the other commenter said that type of harassment NEVER happens to men, when it DOES happen to men albeit at a smaller rate. The male privilege would be LESS likely to be harassed, not NEVER harassed.

            Speak something that is untrue and I won’t shut up, I will correct it where I can as EVERY PERSON ON EARTH should attempt to do so because we have no need for lies. So seriously, stop lying about my position on the matter and making stuff up because it’s pathetic. I’ve listened, I am providing a rebuttal to an issue that is flat out wrong in the manner that commenter stated it. I fully agree that men get less street harassment in the forms women recieve, but it DOES happen OCCASIONALLY which is what I was saying all along, not as a way to deny women’s experience, but to correct an untrue statement of “Strangers of the opposite sex will not attack you verbally if you choose
            not to respond, or not to respond friendly to random inquiries about
            yourself on random occasions (in bar, on street etc).” – This dismisses men’s experiences and is false.

            I would suggest saying “Strangers of the opposite sex are far less likely to attack you verbally if you choose
            not to respond, or not to respond friendly to random inquiries about
            yourself on random occasions (in bar, on street etc).” – This does not minimize or dismiss men’s experiences nor women’s.

            It would be as stupid as someone saying that women are never killed in violent attacks because far more men are killed by violence. But if you want men to simply shut up and listen whilst someone makes a false statement then you have high hopes, why the hell would anyone sit by and not correct it? The corrected statement still proves one of the male privileges and there’s no need to lie about it to get the point across.

          • xflowahsx

            I’m 51 years old and I have NEVER seen a man attacked or harassed by a woman… ever.

          • Equalityfighter

            To Lia and Archy: male privilege hurts us all, not just women, and from what I’ve gleaned from his comments, I think this is at the heart of what Archy is trying to say. Yes, women experience more sexual assault, but the approach society has to male assault (note my lack of the word “sexual” here in order to include all forms of assault) is discriminatory also, albeit in different ways. My boyfriend was physically assaulted over a year ago in broad daylight where there were many eyewitnesses. The assault was completely undeserved (in my opinion, all assaults are) and unprovoked physically; the only thing he did was stand up for himself verbally against a bully of a man who was twice his size. Afterwards, when the police were called to the scene, not only was he given the response of “are you sure that was a good idea, to SAY that to him”, but he was also encouraged not to press charges because it would be dismissed in court as on par with a bar fight and the stance of “boys will be boys”. In summary, because he is male, his assault was dismissed as less serious or significant. YES, this dismissal ALSO happens to women in court, but in order for us to move forward towards change for the better, we need to acknowledge everyone’s suffering, not just our own. Lia, I encourage you to listen to people’s experiences of privilege and acknowledge their validity along with your own before shutting them down. And if you suspect you have misunderstood their meaning, or intention, ask them to clarify. I also encourage you to check out this website, I myself have found it very helpful:

            http://everydayfeminism.com/2012/12/how-to-talk-to-someone-about-privilege/

            Archy, I hope we don’t lose you as an ally, heaven knows everyone needs them.

          • Archy

            Don’t worry, I’m still an ally or whatever term people like to use to many forms of feminism, I am very much against harmful forms such as extremism and anti-trans stuff, and forms which go too far and actually cause harm to either/or men n women.

            I really dislike the myth that so many women seem to assume is correct with thinking men can just walk around unafraid and safe on the streets, when the majority of street violence is male against male. I wolverine my keys even though I am 6’6 300lbs, I may be large but I am scared too. I’ve been hit in clubs, hit heaps at schools, by both men n women when I’ve beebn minding my own business. One guy I refused to buy a drink for hit me, I laughed at a joke that was totally unrelated to a woman I knew and wasn’t even offensive and she hit me. Violence is so common that it will touch most of us in some form, I’d be surprised if anyone has NEVER been hit.

            There are oodles of male privileges to list, but safety on the streets is not one of them. The closest is sheer ignorance of how vulnerable men are maybe…but considering the stoicism many men are raised with then they probably understand the risks but are expected to put on a brave face n be courageous, ignore their vulnerability. But then ignorance is no privilege.

          • Ophidia Matsumoto

            I agree with you about ignorance. And I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that larger / more intimidating looking men are often taken on as “targets” to prove a point, or because the instigator will look tougher for picking a fight or attacking someone larger than s/he would a smaller person.

            So thank you, and I’m truly sorry for those times you’ve been hit. Abuse of any sort is awful.

          • qusdis

            “Rule one of being a decent ally: shut up” – that right there is hilarious. Reciting a pedantic script about a “decent ally” peppered with hostility doesn’t really help the conversation.

          • xflowahsx

            Punched as in you had to call the police for being assaulted? I highly doubt that someone did this to you, and if they did they probably administered something equal to a playful slap.

            I cant imagine that youre so special to have that much attention from women

          • Archy

            Punched as in I am afraid for my life, it hurts like hell and spending a while recouping from it.

            You may be fortunate to never see women attack or harass a man but I have seen it plenty of times, I’ve even been punched quite hard by women who think it doesn’t hurt guys, punches that leave bruises and make you not feel safe around them. I’ve been sexually groped by women too.

            So instead of being so dismissive of others experiences, maybe you could understand that women too can be abusive and violent? I know women who have knocked a man out clean with one punch, as in he was down, lights out, unconscious, sleepytimes. Women are not weak as much as misogynists try to assume women cannot throw a decent punch….women are plenty strong enough to do major damage if they want to, and some women do that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sofia.julina Sofia Julina Ben-Hur

    you aren’t taught from day one that you need to be submissive, nurturing, allowing, friendly, etc
    you are free to be and do whatever you want no matter what country you live in
    your body isn’t a taboo subject (what i mean is, talking about male genitalia is more accepted than talking about female genitalia)
    books, movies, tv shows, plays, etc, all focus around members of your sex as important characters and not simply ornaments or support for the main character

    • Interested

      Of course. Because being pushed into a ‘be brave, be a man, don’t cry, don’t have an appreciation of beauty’ is such a great empowering stereotype to be lumbered with. Of course, there’s also the societal expectation that if you want to be a great Dad and be with your children, there’s something wrong with you. It is infinitely harder for men to make a decision to stay at home with their kids than for women. We all have crosses, but does it help anyone to state over and over how terrible women have it in comparison to men? How about ‘There are ways to make it easier for everyone’?

      • http://www.facebook.com/brando.furtado Brando Furtado

        You don’t understand what privilege actually is unfortunately. You are being defensive.

        All the things you listed are a result of male privilege. Privilege hurts everyone who doesn’t fit or conform to the norm. Your concerns are very real and very unfortunate but they where put in place by a culture which defines masculinity in a very rigid way.

        it’s so frustrating when I see guys get so defensive over the talk of privilege. In their heads it means that feminists are trying to say “oh poor women, men have all the luck.” That is a very simplistic take on the issue of privilege. There’s all sorts of privilege. Class, race, gender, sexual orientation, right handedness, ability vs disability etc etc.

        Don’t be so defensive. Discussing male privilege does not equate “men suck.”

        You’re not fully responsible for how you think though, there are a lot of young females, who have just discovered feminism who run with it and get angry and reactive because they finally find an ideology that makes them feel empowered and they run with it.

        But think for a moment to whatever subculture you belong to. Do you hate it when you are judged by the very worst of the people who share your ideology? Well then look at feminism with a more open mind.

        Anyways, do some studying up on what privilege actually means and realize that your comments are completely in line with what privilege is. You are fighting against an invisible enemy which is actually your friend.

        Everyone experiences some form of privilege, and some form of disadvantages. Everyone. The enemy is privilege. Not other people. Maybe you where attacked by SRS and have an axe to grind, I feel sorry for you. But acknowledging forms of privilege and then doing something to equal the playing field doesn’t equal “be ashamed of yourself you horrible horrible penis’d individual”

        Stop being so simplistic.

        • William Jenkins

          There’s a difference between not understanding how feminists define privilege and thinking that their definition is inherently dismissive of any problems encountered by men. I think it is horrible the way that women are discriminated against in our society, and women probably do still have it harder than men in most regards. However, when you argue that “All the things you listed are a result of male privilege” it sounds less than sympathetic. I think if feminists argued that women face more problems than men, instead of men not facing any problems at all, they could advocate for women’s rights without hurting men. Is there any way to take a definition of sexism as “prejudice plus power” other than as an endorsement of prejudice as “powerful” men? I’m just asking for a little mercy and compassion here, not advocacy.

          Also, you’re absolutely right, you should be treated as an individual, and not presumed to be in lock-step with Valerie Solanas. Feminists are not all joined at the hip. But just to put this in perspective, by my estimation about 80% of your arch-rivals, the so-called Men’s Rights Activists, have an extreme anti-female prejudice. Are you willing to look at MRA’s with a “more open mind” or will you assume that they all hate women just because most of them do?

        • xflowahsx

          “it’s so frustrating when I see guys get so defensive over the talk of
          privilege. In their heads it means that feminists are trying to say “oh
          poor women, men have all the luck.”"

          They DO have all of the “luck”. Most societies are patriarchal and have been for a very very VERY long time. If you have to weigh the privilege of both groups in the balances, men come out ahead.

      • Brittney Behr

        “We all have crosses, but does it help anyone to state over and over how terrible women have it in comparison to men?”

        Yes, it does. This is a tactic used by cis-men to silence women, incidentally. Your privilege is showing.

    • Archy

      You mean taboo subject like how genital mutilation is still socially acceptable when perpetrated against boys too young to consent to any medical procedure?

      And if you think men are free to be and do whatever they want, no matter the country they live in then you are seriously misinformed. Gender roles heavily harm males in pretty much all countries, many countries still have conscription which by definition removes freedom and forces them to be disposable.

      Seriously, this is the most basic stuff to understand, how can people be so ignorant?!

  • Raven

    People don’t pointedly avoid talking/asking about your age, or think less of you if you are old.

    • MC

      Men are allowed to age, but women are expected to color gray hair and try to keep themselves in a way that makes them appear younger than their actual age. More jobs are available for men of a certain age than their female counterparts.

      • Interested

        Yet men die on average 10 years younger than women and it’s not questioned. Why is it that women’s health attracts huge amounts of funding in comparison to men’s health?

        • human

          Because we have more health problems which arise from pregnancy and hormonal contraceptives. 80-90 percent of women are pregnant in their lifetime and that causes increased wear and tear on the body, both externally and internally, causing both skin damage and problems with the inner organs including urinary incontinence, problems with eating, stress, depression, anemia, hypertension, problems with blood clotting, decreased mental states (yes, women after pregnancy experience this very often because of the major hormonal imbalances) in other words, we have a lot of problems especially when we have kids. (yes we have natural defenses for this to heal us but in the end, pregnancy favors the baby and leaves us with a large potential for all of this.) And also because it’s more publicized and men have an expectation to be “tough” and suck it up and that they don’t need to go to the doctor. Men much less likely go to the doctor leading to less male healthcare leading to less funding due to lack of interest.

        • Also.Interested

          Wait a sec; it IS routinely pointed out–and questioned–that men die years younger than women do. There’s a MOUNTAIN of research, over decades and decades and in every developed country on Earth, on this phenomenon. Your statement is truly incorrect.

          And your statement that women’s health attracts more funding then men’s calls for closer scrutiny. I knew that there has been a historical lack of data on female subjects in research in all manner of non-OB/GYN medical studies, so in preparation for this here comment I did some googling to fetch some statistics so I could merrily jump all over you with both feet. But what I found actually backed YOUR assertion. Results for search terms like “disparity in women’s health research” actually corroborate your statement, and it looks like marketing is the driving force… both positive marketing by individuals/groups advocating for women’s health concerns, and, unfortunately, the greedy corporate bastards who know a good host when they see it (some of whom certainly infect women’s health groups, masquerading as champions for women. Hey, women comprise over 50% of the population… that’s a hell of a gravy train for those looking to make a buck.) The upside is that women are FINALLY getting more representation in the research world, but the downside is widespread inequitable expenditure of time/effort/funding, and that’s NEVER good. So kudos to you for pointing that out.

          Look, Interested, I totally agree with you that female privilege exists, and not all of it is of the annoying “hold the door” variety. The gender bias in our legal system is DEVASTATING and GROSSLY unethical and every single one of us should stand up against it, regardless of our sex. What I (and I think a lot of others here) would really, really, reallllllly like to get across to you is that this is not the forum for your argument. Not because your argument “doesn’t belong” here, but because it literally undermines a struggle for equity and ethics. Don’t get me wrong; the struggle you are representing is TRULY IMPORTANT also. What I hope to show you is that your comments fail to effectively work for your cause because they’re in an inappropriate place and couched in an inappropriate manner. Ugh… how do I word this more clearly? I’m the WORLD’S WORST at being too wordy and if you’ve read this far I commend your patience, sir. I’m telling you you’re shooting yourself in the foot, in a comment so long that I’m shooting myself in the foot? I’m a GENIUS! :(

          How’s this: There are genuine and serious problems that women face in society, that are based on unfair gender stereotyping. Those problems not only hurt women; they hurt society as a whole. There are also genuine and serious problems that MEN face in society, that are based on unfair gender stereotyping, and those problems hurt men and hurt society as a whole. When people come together to discuss these things, they can gain understanding and can affect change across every level of society… from how they interact with their family, friends, and co-workers, to pushing their elected officials and leaders in the business community to take actions that result in real change. But if you come to a conversation about women’s issues and post comment after comment representing men’s issues, you’re not listening… and you’re contributing the not-listening of some others (much of the up-votes on your comments are the sad evidence of others not-listening.) If I went to a conversation about how negative gender stereotyping undermines fair treatment for men in our legal system and all I did was post examples of unfairness towards women, I would be undermining that conversation. I’d also be not-listening, not-considering, not-learning, and not likely to change my thoughts and actions in the real world. An opportunity for positive change would be missed.

          Many of the points you make are true–and NEED to be discussed. But because of the context you’ve made them in, they (and you, unfortunately) appear inappropriate, hostile, dismiss-able…. and a part of the problem. And that’s a genuine shame. We have a serious matter that people need to consider. So do you!!!! I pledge that I’ll do some reading up on men’s gender inequity (although I’ve done plenty of such reading before it’s still an extremely important issue and worth revisiting repeatedly until we actually FIX THAT SHIT BECAUSE IT’S WRONG), and I’ll put aside my own perspectives and read the articles and comments with genuine attention to what they are working so hard to communicate. It’s what I and others here are wishing you would do. It’s actually what this whole conversation is about- setting your own perspective aside for a moment to genuinely listen to a different one, so you can gain greater insight and help affect positive change.

          • Lia Walsh

            This.

        • xflowahsx

          so called “womens health” is relatively NEW.

  • Jerome

    Quite frankly, I find #13 offensive. While there are less men abused by their woman partners than the opposite, it is not that rare. And they get a lot less help when this happens.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jodi-Rives-Meier/1081411288 Jodi Rives Meier

      When men are attacked or assaulted, it is still overwhelmingly men who do it. We fix the problem of male abusers, we make things better for everyone. That is the point of most things feminist.

      • http://www.facebook.com/danielpereirablackiechan Daniel Pereira

        Really? Because it’s feminists who usually abuse their partners. Feminists strike me as advocating abuse and degradation of men in society. I disagree with feminism. I would much rather advocate equality. There’s a difference.

        • -_-

          i suggest you look up the definition of feminism.

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/7QIGBVBY6DDLOO2SXENOFZNAMI Jodi

            And I suggest you look up the definition of “look up.” It is silly to make a claim about what feminists “usually” do without any support. And feminism is about making gender expression–any gender expression–a non-issue. Whenever you guys jump in so defensively on these things, you are proving privilege in a way nothing else can. Feminism is reactive in nature–if everyone had played nicely from the start, there would be no need. It is disingenuous for you to say the equivalent of “Let’s all just get along because we’re all in the exact same boat”–when that is absolutely not true. When “all,” “get along,” “same,” and “boat” are explicitly and implicitly different for men and women in this society.

          • Jarvis

            Someone is not automatically being “defensive” just because they have an honest disagreement with you. When you call someone “defensive”, you are really just refusing to even consider that their comments have merit. Admitting that someone else’s comments have some merit doesn’t mean you have to abandon your own position completely or agree with them 100%. But merely pegging that person as “defensive” is a transparent ploy in honest and open discussions. It makes it very obvious that you’d rather accuse others of having a personality flaw and make the whole conversation about their personality instead of going to any effort at all to actually consider what they’ve said, or that they have good reasons from their own experience for saying what they have. It’s a benchmark of intellectual cowardice and does not do you any favors.

          • Kit

            most feminists need to look up the definition of feminism. 90% of the feminists I have met do not fight for equality; they don’t want to bring women up and make us equal, they want to drag men(particularly, straight, white, cis, christian, republican, rich men) down and some even past women, placing us at the top instead of placing all of us on the same level. I’ve yet to meet a feminist who actually wants equality and even fewer who actually realize that while most of the shit men deal with is from the sexism they created that is backfiring but it is still a problem that is seriously hurting innocent people. there is a difference between feminism and equality, and it is very sad that it is so.

          • virginia

            not sure who these feminists are you’ve met. not only my feminist friends (male and female) but also people I’ve met at relevant conferences, gatherings, meetings, rallies etc. are interested in abolishing gender privilege for the benefit of all people, just as you are saying. who are these women you claim to know, who want men to be subordinated? do you seriously know any? I can’t quite believe you are not trolling pretending to be something you’re not, because I’m a lifetime feminist and fighter for women’s rights and (outside of the extreme fringe that I’ve never met but only read about), I have never encountered this “subordinate men” thing you say is so common.

          • Jarvis

            I’ve met feminists who seem to be honestly striving for equality AND feminists who truly do seem to hate men, or at the very least harbor extreme bitterness and resentment for them. However, the term “feminist” itself does imply that your primary concern is for the welfare of women, and screw everyone else. Wouldn’t it be better if everybody was just a “humanist”?

          • gillian

            “even past women” – you just exposed your thinking

          • Koko

            Look up equality, and look for the root words in feminism.

        • jasper

          Dude read a book. Statistically speaking woman who share sexiest views of themselves and power are the ones more likely to abuse their partners.

      • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

        “When men are attacked or assaulted, it is still overwhelmingly men who do it.”

        This depends heavily on how you are looking at assault/attack, especially when you get into sexual abuse against men and boys. If you pull from crime statistics, males tend to appear to be a majority of abusers, but this has a lot to do with what is reported, how abuse is defined (e.g. rape laws that require “penetration”), and how the police react to cases of female abusers.

        One example: When we look at pedophiles in crime stats, it appears female pedophiles are very rare, but when men who have been abused are interviewed, females represent a majority of the perpetrators reported.

        Anders Breivik offers a good example of this; a child who was sexually abused by his mother. The abuses were known by the authorities, but they refused to convict her or give custody to the father (despite his fights) because they worried about the effect of the child being separated from his mother. Later, after Anders became a mass murderer, he refused to have the topics of his sexual abuse be discussed in court because fear about how it would change the worlds perception of him and make him look like a victim. In this only one example, therefore it can’t be used for generalization, but it does show how perceptions held by the authorities, family, and even abuser lead to the statistics being skewed and create a dangerous potential for the victims to become future abusers. It’s important to note that, despite a wealth of evidence that Anders was frequently sexually abused by his mother as a child, his abuse is still not represented in statistics, as there was never a conviction.

        Finally, and equally important, like Jerome mentioned, men have less resources for help when they get abused. Focusing resources on enforcement while ignoring victims is not a recipe for rooting out the problem, but a recipe for nurturing more abusers.

      • Jarvis

        Jodi Rives Meier, how does fixing the problem of male abusers make things better for those who are victimized by female abusers? Those people are part of “everyone”, too. Do you care about human rights or just women’s rights?

      • Archy

        Umm, the majority of domestic violence against adult males is perpetrated by WOMEN, and the majority of DV against women is perpetrated by men. Ignoring female perpetration is one of the biggest things wrong with the anti-DV movements.

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  • moviebetty

    maybe the idea of weight should be added. women who are overweight or have gained weight, especially in the entertainment biz, will more likely be called on it than men who have weight problems. “Men aren’t fat, only women are fat.” – Peter Griffin

    • MC

      Overweight people in general are often considered to be lazy or stupid, but women are judged more harshly.

      • bobowitz

        I would say that its because men are pressured to be “large” in general. its only in the age of hipsters that being a skinny guy has been really accepted.

    • http://twitter.com/ViveLeShelby Shelby

      Agreed, there are far more overweight men in entertainment, even in cartoon entertainment, than women. There are also more men who aren’t fit than women, and more men who fall within a healthy weight range/BMI but have a little extra in the middle than their female counterparts.

      • Interested

        Yet name one male actor who was significantly overweight and wasn’t either a villain or a comedian. Men who are overweight are seen as having little more than a comedic value (they are objects of ridicule) or value as an object lesson in what NOT to be.

        • More Like Uninterested

          Apparently you’ve never heard of Philip Seymour Hoffman.

    • Archy

      Speaking as an overweight man, who has plenty of overweight male friends, we ALL copped heaps of bullying. Both genders cop heavy abuse for their weight, even TV stars. Overweight men and women in the media are often stereotyped as buffoons, comedic relief, idiots, lazy, etc.

  • ann

    #37. You can have hair on your body without being mocked. You are not advised to depilate. You don’t have to spend time, money and have pain to do so.
    [Sorry for mistakes. English is not my langage.]

    • Deanna Joy Hallmark

      This is absolutely true. It’s a matter of choice although many women and men don’t believe its a choice, that it is forced on us by forces beyond ourselves. I choose to depilate because the only acceptable places for hair on my body are on the top of my head and in my panties.

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  • Gretch

    You don’t find yourself taking a calming breath before entering a
    dark parking lot or garage to retrieve your car. And when you get to your car,
    you may give a quick look in the back seat before entering, but do you scan
    around and under the car before approaching? Do you lock your door the moment
    you close it?

    • Interested

      Yes, actually, because men are much more likely to be a victim of violence than women.

      • Kit

        proof? honestly curious.

        • Archy

          Google deaths by violence worldwide by gender. Police reports in Australia for instance show 2x as many male victims as female for violent crime.

  • David

    I ran across some debates on whether roller derby is feminist or anti-feminist. So I’ll add that men can participate in sports without the entire blogosphere sitting in judgement on how it reflects on their gender.

    • Interested

      Yet men who decide not to participate in sports are often mocked, ridiculed and treated as somehow less than a man. How many boys in school had a fear of ridicule due to their disinterest or lower ability level in sports. I know of not one instance where a female is jedged negatively for not wanting to participate in sports.

      • dfibkitty

        And who are the ones leading the mocking? Men/boys. Another reason to seek equality– so that the enjoyment of participating in team sports (or not)– is not seen as gender-specific.

      • Gillian

        no but i know plenty of females who are mocked, ridiculed and treated as somehow less than a woman when they decide TO participate in sport, especially male dominated sports.

  • chief

    - All major theistic God figures are of your own sex.

    - You can be half naked in public AND private, bare chested, like it’s the most normal, natural thing in the world. Fortunately, for you, it is.

    - You’ll never be admonished/doubted for pursing your own pleasure or speaking your mind because of your sex.

    - You are not expected to, “play nice,” in competitive environments, nor will you be shamed for reveling in victory.

    - When anyone writes logically, directly, dispassionately, or… successfully, without prior exposure, they are assumed to be of your sex.

    - Being outspoken is always some kind of virtue, rather than a perpetual double edged sword, because of your sex.

    - You can be less physically attractive than your partner without it being an issue. In fact, this may come as a sense of entitlement.

    - You can expect the other sex to take on all the weight of responsibility when dealing with “serious” contraceptives (such as pills that alter body chemistry). All you need is a one-use, low cost condom and you’ve done your job.

    - Your baseline sense of self worth and outward confidence (apart from your inborn personality) is in large part due to your own sex’s prerogative, which you have absorbed since birth. You’ve never known what it’s like to live without this cushion.

    - You have been actively and passively empowered to be the, “master,” of your own life at every corner, at every turn, however self-evident of a virtue this may be. Refer to, “king of his kingdom,” type enactments and declarations.

    - Movie protagonists, video game characters, toy figurines are always, and primarily visible as your sex.

    - When you express yourself through your emotions or faith, you are seen as courageous and worthy of respect, instead of simply being, “emotional,” or, “doing what you do.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

      Nicely put. *applauds*

    • Interested

      Some points:
      -First nation, Hindu and many other religions may disagree with you about the idea of all major deities being male (of course, maybe almost a billion Hindus don’t count to your western viewpoint)
      -Men are routinely admonished for not ‘acting like men’
      -Men are pushed into competitive sports and judged harshly if they do not want to participate. Women don’t have that pressure to the same degree.
      -Men are judged harshly if they don’t treat women well. I don’t have women giving up seats on buses or holding doors open for me.
      -The WHO may disagree that condoms aren’t serious contraception. I don’t think men are forcing you to take the pill.
      -Men are pushed to push themselves, and damned for not doing so. Why are more women than men now graduating from high school and universities? Why are females routinely funded to move into science, technology and engineering, yet there is no funding to help men move into nursing, teaching or design?
      -Movie protagonists, game characters and figurines always male? So Anna Karenina, Lara Croft, Barbie, Dora the Explorer, Strawberry Shortcake, Red Sonja, Jane (of Jane and the Dragon), Miss Piggy, Madame Bovary, Dana Sculley, Storm (X Men), Jean Grey (X-Men), Wonder Woman, Sabrina, Tabitha, Marsha, Cindy and even Buffy are… cross dressers?
      -Yet as a man, the only emotion you are allowed to express is anger. If you wish to express fear, loneliness, rejection, anxiety, hurt or distress, you’re condemned. Why are women given freedom to have such a wide emotional range, and men allowed just two states. Anger, or nothing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/cassidy.nicholson.7 Cassidy Nicholson

        These pressures on the male identified push some men down along with the women. In a male privileged society, the non-conforming males are considered women and therefore are repressed, often more harshly than cis-women.

      • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

        “Men are pushed into competitive sports”

        This brings me back to the 6th grade when my teacher pressured me into joining the football league (6th-8th graders participated in the league). I had zero interest but he pushed me to do it. Being the smallest kid in the 6th grade, and playing with kids who were much farther through puberty than me, it pretty much guaranteed me to sitting on the bench most of the time, filling in when enough people were sick/injured or the game was so lost it didn’t matter. And when I did get a chance to play… that was even worse because it would be about 20-30 seconds before I got my face smashed in.

        I was lucky enough to not be one of the boys with a father that forced them to do dumb shit like this, so as soon as the season ended I said good-bye to team sports for good. So many kids do have dads/moms/girlfriends that come to every game and yell at them to succeed and personally, I feel a huge pity for them. This must account for at least a part of the high suicide rates of young boys (2-3x that of girls depending on age/location). I still did sports (snowboarding, skiing, climbing) and eventually competed at a high level and had some injuries, but I was much happier getting my ass kicked by a rock or mountain than by a kid twice my size.

        Anyways, male privilege exists, but it certainly doesn’t mean males have it easier or even better.

        • Datdamwuf

          “Anyways, male privilege exists, but it certainly doesn’t mean males have it easier or even better.”

          All the more reason to fight against it and change it, correct?

        • Brittney Behr

          Just want to point out that suicides are at much higher rates for men, because men are more likely to be SUCCESSFUL at suicide (I know, a weird way to phrase that). Suicide attempts are also higher for males, but to a much lesser degree. I don’t think that sports pressure is a high enough incentive for suicide to make that much of a difference. Interesting theory though.

          • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

            No I don’t think it is sports pressure entirely, it is a general expectation (which is embodied in the sports we primarily push men into) to succeed as an individual, to not seek assistance from others, to regard winning/success above all else, and to understand that society will dump you if you fail. It is also that we as a society provide far less assistance to men who need support or help. There are simply far fewer resources for men struggling financially, with depression, with mental illness, or with sexual abuse.

            As far as the stats go, yea it is complex. Keep in mind that men’s higher success rates also mean fewer attempt counts (since, on average, an individual women will make more attempts at suicide in a lifetime). Some say men’s higher success rates is because men put less emphasis on “looking pretty”, so they are more likely to use guns or jump from high places. That said, even when men do use overdose they tend to do it in much much higher amounts, so I think it may perhaps be the case that men are generally more firm in their decisions. This makes sense to me as “asking for help” is inherently unmasculine. This is not to say women’s attempts are just “calls for help” but that men take extra careful to avoid their attempt becoming a “call for help”.

            I don’t see this as the pressures of a “male privileged society”, which labels a man going through a divorce (a life event which leaves him 10x more likely to commit suicide than the women) as simply being a “victim of his own privilege”, as Cassidy suggests. This seems to suggest that if we just break patriarchy by removing men from positions of power, then suddenly male suicide rates, unemployment rates, incarceration rates, workplace injury/death rates, rates of being victims of violent crimes, and life-expectancy rates will all improve. It encourages us to continue ignoring the issues men face with the false premise that these issues are the product of privileges; that by simply removing male privilege and focusing resources on female issues we will somehow correct the issues men face along the way.

            Please don’t interpret this as me saying we shouldn’t be trying to support women facing issues or be supporting women getting into new positions of power or entering into male-dominated careers. It’s simply that we shouldn’t see supporting women as the end-all of fixing the gender-issues we face.

        • Mimi

          Actually this is only accurate in countries such as the US for example, where doing sports in school is such a coveted thing for guys. Countries in Europe don’t have this notion of super popular kids who play sports; it’s seen as a means to exercise but that’s about it. No parent/teacher pushes males into it more than females (the idea is that female and male kids aren’t that different in needs of physical exercise).

          I’d feel very confident saying that males being pushed into these sports comes from parents/teachers wanting to see them succeed in social life among their peers (be popular, famous, a source of pride…., have friends). Which is turn to me seems like a side effect of the male privilege.

          • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

            That’s great. I think that Europe is far more advanced on some of these issues. Of course, I say that then I immediately remember Europe is also home to people like Berlusconi, and then I shudder.

            Anyways, the more I look at examples of male privilege, the more I’m convinced that anything can be construed as either (a) a male privilege or (b) a side effect of male privilege. Men’s involvement in the sports world is “male privilege” they can choose to exercise (even though it’s not given as a choice to many boys). Still, this sounds alright when we are looking at the millionaire predominately male sports stars. But all the males who get crushed along the way playing overly violent sports that ruin their bodies for life, 99.99% of whom end up wasting more money than they gain on such sports? They are just experiencing a side-effect of their privilege. Not having to wear high heels is a privilege, but not being able to wear high heels if you want is a side effect of male privilege. Even things like males getting statistically higher prison sentences for the same crimes is often construed as “male privilege backfiring”. Men are given higher sentences because we view them as fully capable adults responsible for their actions. I even once heard someone argue somewhat convincingly that the rampant spread of AIDs through the male gay community was related to their male privilege.

            When women are more likely to get full-custody of children? This is not female privilege, but male privilege backfiring, because even though full-custody isn’t forced on her (i.e. she exercises choice in pursuing full-custody), it is pressured on her by a patriarchal system.

            Patriarchy is similar to male privilege; in fact patriarchy simply seems to be the macro term and male privilege the micro term. Even though “slut shaming” is often (but not always) a women-on-women crime, it is construed as women raised in a patriarchal system who are conforming to that system.

            I get the need for words like patriarchal to describe systems, religions, and cultures. But it seems to me that we’ve broadened the terms so far that they simply mean “culture”. My point being, when we engender a cultural norm like “men don’t have to wear high heels” by calling it “male privilege” we put the onus onto men and away from women. This denies the power women share in shaping culture. We also deny the powerlessness many men feel at being the victim of a culture which truthfully they (as individuals) did not create and cannot change (as an individual).

      • TheOther

        But what percentage of female movie protagonists are objectified or sexualized?
        I guarantee you that percentage is higher than it would be for male characters.

      • Sunny

        Yeah… You might want to do your research before throwing around your ‘expertise’ on the faith of others. The ‘leaders’ of Hinduism are male and the female deities you speak of are all ‘sub-deities’ of more powerful male deities.

        As for your section on movie protagonists, you seem to be clutching at straws. Why don’t we look at the top-grossing movies of 2013 for something more up to date than a bunch of old movies, cancelled shows and children’s series? Iron Man 3 (metal man), Man of Steel (super man), Oz the Great and Powerful (magic man), Fast & Furious 6 (car man), Star Trek Into Darkness (space man), The Croods (cave man), Monsters University (monster men), The Great Gatsby (fancy man), Identity Thief (hurrah! ONE woman!), World War Z (zombie man), GI Joe: Retaliation (army man), The Hangover Part III (drunk men)…

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jodi-Rives-Meier/1081411288 Jodi Rives Meier

    I teach Communication courses at the college level and I was interested lately to find out what my students really think/know when they hear the term “privilege” in a context like this. Especially since I feel the term is being used more frequently in the mainstream. So, I had all three classes (about 90 people roughly equally divided by gender presentation) get out a piece of notebook paper. I told them NOT to put their name on the paper–only to indicate at the top whether they consider themselves male or female (which caused a big confusion uproar from the start–What the heck does “consider” mean? Either you are or you aren’t. Sigh. A long way to go.) Then I told them I wanted only serious answers, no screwing around. Finally, I instructed them to make a list of all the things they do on a regular/daily basis (i.e. not just once/one time ever) to avoid being sexually assaulted. And there was half a class pandemonium–because those who consider themselves female started busily writing the instant I was done giving the instructions and those who identify as male had about a million questions: You mean to avoid sexually assaultING for us, right? Can you give an example? What do you mean? What if you don’t do anything? Etc. I responded only cursorily to their questions because that’s part of the experience of privilege, right? You can’t even conceive of the “other” way/side/experience. When they were done writing (which took much longer for the women than the men, of course), I asked the female-identified folk to give their list first. Immediate hubbub–Watch what you wear. Carry pepper spray. Never walk alone at night/ever. Always tell someone where you are going. Keep your car keys between your fingers in parking lots/on the street. Don’t wear your hair in a ponytail/bun when you jog so you won’t be so easy to grab (this was a new one even for me). And on and on and on. Then, I asked the male-identified folk to give their list. And, for all three classes, the only response? Don’t go to prison (and a few sub-topic suggestions of how to avoid assault if you DO go to prison–like the standard don’t drop the soap, but also don’t wipe after you defecate–my word usage, not theirs–to make your _______________ less attractive). That’s it. The only exception was one young man who identifies very openly as gay–he had a few more concerns to address. Otherwise, the guys just looked around absolutely dumbfounded while the gals were talking. These things never occurred to them. To carry it further, I asked for a show of hands of: How many of you know to look in the backseat of your car before you get in? How many of you know to stand away from your car when unlocking it to avoid getting grabbed from underneath? How many of you know not to park next to vans, especially panel vans, because the door can open and you can get pulled in? How many of you lock the front door when you are home alone/showering? How many of you lock the car door first thing before anything else when you get inside? Predictably, every single female hand went up and not a single male hand. In fact, there were MANY protestations of what? huh? who does that? really? seriously? Then I asked who in the room knew to watch their drink so no one could put anything in it–and I was surprised to see every hand go up. Weird and unexpected for me. Then I asked why and they were divided right down the middle again–the gals so they wouldn’t get assaulted, the guys so they wouldn’t get robbed. I asked the entire class how much time they spent every day/that day thinking about avoiding assault. Every gal said some time period, every guy (except my gay-identified student) said none. And THAT, I told them, is privilege–when you get more time in your day to be doing other things than thinking about assault. In one class, we even carried it further than the extreme example of assault. I asked the class to show by a raise of hands who had ever paid for something in a store/restaurant and had the change handed to their companion, who had ever had their companion asked to order for them in a restaurant, who had ever had a companion asked to answer for them in a social situation–and, once again, every female hand had gone up and every male hand had stayed down (even the gay-identifed student’s this time). The guys were all just gape-jawed at the questions–even though the odds are spectacular they’ve BEEN WITH a female companion when it happened multiple times. And, obviously, this conversation leads into discussions of other privilege, right? Unlike other semesters, I currently only have cis-identified students, so I asked them to show by raise of hands how many of them had ever made a class or social schedule around having to go home to use the bathroom because they were not allowed to use the one they feel comfortable with at their school/social destination. And they looked at me like I was crazy–are we talking about bathrooms closed for cleaning, or what? And so on. It was VERY enlightening–and, in a few cases, annoying because there are always those folk who get worked up over having their privilege pointed out, aren’t there? And when those people immediately defaulted (as they always seem to) to the place of my life isn’t always a picnic you know, we had to talk about that as well. Hopefully, some of them walked away with a better understanding. Hopefully, none of them walked away and kicked the dog.

    • Egalitarian

      With such sexist professors, no wonder the world is f***ed up. Or did you perhaps turn the tables and show examples of how men get short-changed in the next lecture?

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/7QIGBVBY6DDLOO2SXENOFZNAMI Jodi

        You may be unfamiliar with what “sexist” means. The activity was worth no points or grade and everyone in the class was equally free to respond and/or participate. Where is the disenfranchisement or privileging of one sex in that? (What sexism means, incidentally). And it is always (appallingly) interesting to me how immediately someone (usually a man) insists on turning any conversation regarding women’s issues or male privilege into a sad tale of how ignored the men are. Did you READ the list above? Those things exist objectively–merely discussing them does not create or exacerbate them. Why is it so dang hard for some men to acknowledge their good fortune when it comes to these things? Aren’t there women/girls in your life whom you love? Don’t you want a world where your mother or daughter or wife or sister is not subject to these inequities? And to what short-changing do you refer? The kind where you have always been able to vote or own property or choose when/if to marry? The kind where all non-body part-specific employment has always been and is open to you? The kind where, if you marry, you will statistically live longer than your single peers but your wife will live shorter than hers? The kind where one in three or four are NOT your odds of being sexually assaulted in your lifetime (or one in two if you join the military)? The kind where academic institutions have always been open to your sex? Those kinds? Fixing these problems of inequity and privilege does not start with everyone getting acknowledged as having it equally tough–because not everyone does. It starts with the dominant population–in this specific case those who identify as male, but in other cases people who identify as straight or cis gender or who are white or are of means, etc.–recognizing they got a good deal and working to make sure others get a chance at a good deal as well.

        • jodi_NO

          This is why i became an engineer i don’t want anything to do with female teachers teaching this junk. FEMALE PRIVILEDGE EXISTS TO http://www.wihe.com/printBlog.jsp?id=400

          • Zebra

            If you look through the comments, you may find that you have been out-listed.

          • Bijal

            The existence of male privilege does not deny or negate the existence of female privilege, in fact by default you are pointing out inequity which limits all people to preset expectations. For example, as a woman you have fewer role model of fellow females who had long, prolific careers. But as the list you pointed out shows, conversely men are expected to have uninterrupted, lucrative careers so they can be the breadwinners.

            Sexual assault is real. 90% of rape victims are women. 1 in 6 women are victims of attempted or completed rape. It is 1 in 33 for men . This is not just a situation of paranoia but a reality (RAINN). The fact that sexual assault is so prevalent and so gender biased hurts all of us.

            You don’t have to get defensive or make generalized accusations at the entire class of female teachers, because female privilege and male privilege are not mutually exclusive. It is an invaluable exercise, however, to consider exactly what it does feel like to be in another person’s shoes and be aware of what issues are of heightened concern to them. And for women the realities of sexual assault are one of them.

          • Innocent Male

            Interesting… I’ve never heard of a man willing to admit to being raped publicly but boy oh boy do women LOVE to play that card. Whether true or not, nothing earns you sympathy like a rape.
            And before you try to tell me that I’m ignorant, I’ve seen it from pretty much every angle. I was raped, I was the victim of false-rape-accusations, I was the victim of a slander suit after approaching my girlfriends father about rapes and beatings that never happened, my friend was accused of raping a girl when she decided she wanted to tell her new boyfriend she was a virgin (I was the new boyfriend), a close friend of mine conceived a child and kept it after being raped. I’ve been in positions with women where I would say that sex was forced on me and I’ve encountered other men being physically and sexually abused but I’ve NEVER heard a man admit to it… The stats don’t account for unreported incidents or false reports. It’s not mens fault that your statistics don’t accurately reflect the data.

          • Deanna Joy Hallmark

            If it were true that we women play the “rape card” to gain sympathy then I would suggest that those who believe that think again because the statistics on reported rape by women don’t support that conjecture.

          • Estrella

            Deanna, Innocent Male never specified males being raped by females (Intercourse), Though I do know a man who was raped by a woman when he was a teen, sometimes men get erections when they’re scared as well it isn’t always a sign of sexual arousal but arousal in general. I’d also assume a VERY high percentage of male rape is anal penetration whether it’s perpetrated by a male or female. You can’t honestly believe that if a person assaults a man with an object that it does not constitute rape?

            We just had a case here in Milwaukee where police officers sexually assaulted men while performing illegal strip searches on them in the garage of the police station. I do not take a male being held down by 2 other males and having yet another male violently shove multiple fingers up the victim’s rectum as somehow less serious than male on female rape simply because the victim was male.

            Rape can and most assuredly does happen to men probably far more often than we could ever know because men are also made to feel like they should have been able to stop itprotect themselves. Rape in general needs to be taken much more seriously and education on the matter needs to be revised. Victims of any gender need to be able to feel safe reporting it and comfortable getting the emotional support and help they require after an assault.

          • Datdamwuf

            Your female privilege list has a lot of stereotypes that don’t actually reflect reality and some of the list reflects how women are less privileged, though I’m sure you don’t see that. There are a few in there that I’d agree with. Privilege is intersectional

          • Koko

            Same can be said for the male privilege list above, but it won’t because they’re men.

          • dfibkitty

            I suspect you became an engineer because of your poor grammar and punctuation skills. And perhaps you chose a male-dominated profession because women frighten you.

          • Aristotle

            This comment is a prime example of a common logical fallacy! Instantly attacking the person making the statement, rather than arguing the statement itself! Did you know that women can be engineers too?

          • Isobelle

            I want to take the piss out of all 25 of them, but I really can’t be
            bothered. The start of the article didn’t sound too bad. But then it
            went into the actual list.

            My favourites were:

            - 12. I feel free to explore alternate career paths instead of being bound to a single career ladder.

            If anyone has read Full Frontal Feminism, Female Chauvinist Pigs,
            Living Dolls or She’s a slut, He’s a stud (and 49 other sexist double
            standards) please come explain this one because I really think they got
            the gender confused.

            -17. I know how to put a new roll of toilet paper in use and am not above doing it for the next person.
            This is supposed to be a genuine thing, not a piss take. I’m having doubts about that.

            22. I am more likely to get hugs than handshakes, depending on the situation.
            Effin’ seriously? How is that a privilege? What about those of us not
            comfortable with physical contact from people we haven’t known for
            either all our lives or trust with our lives? What about those of us who
            resent that our needs for personal space are disregarded in a society
            that teaches men they have a right to women’s bodies?
            I would rather be seen as rude and unfriendly than have unwanted and invasive physical contact.

          • Elyn

            You know. I was going to start this last one by one, because with the exception a few points i agree with it’s mostly bullshit.
            And i realised, this cannot be written by a woman. Find a woman to write it henx time, and it might end up better.
            at least half the things never applied to me.
            Getting up to greet someone is common sense. No one has EVER given their seat to me. “I am less likely to be seen as a threat” Sure, cause everyone LOVE to be underestemated their whole life
            If this is written by a woman, that’s pathetic. i saw only a few things that are real privileges. “You can always find someone stronger to help you cutting a tree” yeah, being born weaker than the other gender is such a privilege…
            17 – Either my english is wrong, or this of the person who wrote that. I cand seem to find it’s meaning at all.

          • Jodi Rives Meier

            Privileges and privilege are not the same thing. There is no female privilege–because privilege is systemic. What you are referring to as female privilege is actually patriarchy at work. Men sometimes get the short end of the stick because of systems set up by and perpetuated by, overwhelmingly, other men.

          • misskate

            I have had Jodi as an instructor in a communication class before and it was one of the best experiences I have EVER had in any educational institution. I am proud to say that I will always feel that way about the class I took with her and her teaching. She went above and beyond to help her students, be an asset to them, and provide them with unbias material not only for the class, but for life. I have never experienced a teacher being so open and caring about her students. I don’t know anyone at my college who has taken her and not loved her words of wisdom, and I know for sure that she is an incredibly popular teacher. Taking her class opened my eyes to how common and unforgiving privileges truly are in our society. I always saw them but never saw the domino effect they contribute to such massive issues in our culture as well as the world. I would completely agree with the male privileges written above. I am studying an engineering degree at the moment, and recently I found that a male engineer makes up to $15,000 more a year fresh out of school than a female engineer. I also work at a bar and notice the dangers posed on female customers on a nightly basis, and how much more prevalent they are in comparison to male customers. I think instead of pointing fingers and placing blame or ridicule, the intelligent thing, the open minded thing, is to ask yourself, what do I do to stop privilege in general? Privilege is everywhere and it effects everyone. Whether it be a result of white privilege, male privilege, female privilege, wealth privilege, etc it is all harmful and induces hate in the world. In order to stop it all, in order to make a difference for anyone and everyone affected negatively by privilege, we must all work together to recognize it and stand up for what is right for all.

    • Brendan

      I didn’t read the whole thing, but I think your survey has more to do with how paranoid your students were rather than how victimized. Men are far more likely to be victims of every type of violence except rape, and when you include rape, men are still more likely to be victims of violence. That’s a fact and you can’t honestly argue with it. All I got from this is that women are brain-washed to feel victimized and paranoid. No wonder it’s so hard to have a conversation. Did you ask next, “how often are you suspected of being a violent criminal while minding your own business?” Also, most of the advice the women gave was absurd. You attribute much more cunning and malice to most men than they actually have.

      • http://www.facebook.com/Deanna.Hallmark Deanna Joy Hallmark

        I am sorry, SIR, but you have only clearly demonstrated your gender bias by your obnoxious and sexist comment “No wonder its hard to have a conversation” so everything you claim to be fact is tainted by that same bias, although I would doubt you would admit to it without damaging your reputation as being “manly.”

        • Kevin Jackson

          Who is judging who’s gender identity now? Brendan is being “marginalized” for having more traditional masculine views. Surely you can admit that if nearly all women are afraid of assault, and almost no men are, there must be something beyond “socialization,” like physical and hormonal differences, that contribute to different emotional states of being, like this one and others, that might make women and men much differently to interact with on the average? What might some of these differences hold for the choices women and men make with families, the job market, leisure time etc.? How does this impact personal income, hours worked, and overall lifestyle? Why do we have to make things so complicated? Men and women aren’t the same. Some of each can do things more traditional to the opposite gender. They are allowed to do so and indeed women have entire institutions tripping over themselves to advance every part of every possible agenda imaginable, yet all you guys do is claim that you are oppressed. Maybe it’s time for you feminist, social engineers to back off a bit.

          • Deanna Joy Hallmark

            Sorry, were you talking to me?

          • Aristotle

            He replied to your comment, so I would assume he was talking to you. You have to understand that facts are facts. You can’t ignore a reasonable point and attack the person making the statement instead. He may not have said it in a politically correct way, but what he said was true and you can’t ignore truth.

          • Just Another Rapist

            What’s more is that you have now demonstrated that there is no dialogue open between feminism and any male perspective. You have shown your own ignorance and nullified any point you may have had. Not to mention that if you aren’t listening to our responses to your criticisms then why would we listen to your insipid squawking in the first place?

          • mgs2ss

            Typical feminist. Hears a comment that contradicts her way of thinking, and rather than allow her preconceived notions of the word to be challenged, simply ignores it. This is why nobody takes you seriously.

          • Alan

            “Surely you can admit that if nearly all women are afraid of assault, and almost no men are, there must be something beyond “socialization,” like physical and hormonal differences, that contribute to different emotional states of being, like this one and others, that might make women and men much differently to interact with on the average?”

            Actually, socialization can be responsible for a lot of things. Men and women are different physically, and have different levels of testosterone and estrogen, but they are not two separate species and we should not treat them as such. How would different hormone levels explain this better than socialization? Are you an endocrinologist or a psychologist or even a sociologist? Most sociologists believe, based on their research, that a lot of “differences” in attitudes between men and women is due to socialization.

      • Kittae

        I had a sociology class that did the exact same exercise, but it was “how many of you have been put in a pair of handcuffs during a normal traffic stop?” and the only hands up were black men’s.

        Privilege is something to look at from many different directions.

        • Kaitlin Powell

          This is an extremely valid argument – there is no question that the black man is viewed very negatively by society. White women have cried “rape” to control the black men or at least to “cover her own relationship with them” This tactic worked extremely well – Woman crying “help me” society rushes in.

          • Alan

            Sure, some women have faked rape to try to hurt or control others, but they’re in the minority.

          • NFD

            And how often would you say that men use fake avatars and pose as women?

          • Kaitlin Powell

            LOL you think im fake! Google me.. Its my real name… I doubt you are a dude – at least a hetero one.

      • Jay Irvine

        You are correct that a survey of how often people worry about being assaulted and/or what steps they take to prevent it, does not necessarily prove anything about how often or under what circumstances such assaults actually take place. However – that is not the point of the exercise. The fact that women have been “brainwashed” (“socialized”, “taught” or “conditioned” would probably earn you less knee-jerk vitrol, btw) into believing they are in danger IS ACTUALLY THE THING that is being brought to your attention. Take a deep breath, try not to be defensive, and let’s examine this a bit, shall we?

        What a survey like this demonstrates is the dominant social narrative. It demonstrates that society has been telling women, their whole lives (or at least since they started puberty) that they are in danger, that they are victims, that they need to protect themselves… oh, and by the way, if they assume someone has good intentions and are wrong, then it’s their fault for being assaulted because they “should have known better”, but if they assume someone has bad intentions and they’re wrong, then they’re rude, hysterical, and/or paranoid. Most people would rather be called names than assaulted (AND called names), so it’s hardly surprising which direction many women choose to err in.

        Men, on the other hand (so far as popular belief goes) don’t have to worry about assault – they’re the stronger sex, the one that does the assaulting (if they choose to), the side that has both the ability and the right (though few people say that any more it’s still implied in many ways) to take what they want from the weaker sex.

        Yes, this creates problems for both men and women. But the solution is not to dismiss women’s concerns as just “women being silly”, assigning blame, or arguing about whose life is harder.

        Maybe a metaphor?

        Clinical studies, statistics, etc show that women and men have the same average intelligence, and any variance in what they are good at (math, language), has more overlap than the variance in average height.

        Studies have also shown that, among high school and early university students, there is a prevailing BELIEF that men are better at math and engineering.

        Saying ‘but that’s silly, women are actually just as good at math’ does not in any way change the fact that the belief that women are worse at math is sexist, and that this sexist belief is widespread, and that that in turn affects women’s lives negatively (they may have a harder time being hired, they may have parents or teachers actively discouraging them from pursuing the career that they want, etc)

        • Kevin Jackson

          Average IQ scores are the same in men and women, but the men have more variance in their scores. In other words, there are more low-achieving and more high-achieving men, particularly in math.

          • MNFD

            IQ tests are bullshit, FYI.

        • do you?

          I don’t think that saying all men are dangerous rapists is sexist to females…

          • Jay Irvine

            Assuming that all women are in danger of being raped is NOT the same as assuming all men are rapists. I’m fairly certain nobody believes that any given rapist will only ever rape one person in their life.

      • Nessa

        I take those precautions not because i think all men or even most men are dangerous. I do it for the small percent that are. I do not think this makes me paranoid. It offers protection not just from the assault but from the inevitable victim shaming that comes afterward. I have worked with people (both men and women) who have turned on a victim of sexual assault in vicious ways, automatically assuming the woman was to blame without hearing any of the details, or even knowing the woman in question. This, in my opinion, worse than the initial assault. I would like to avoid it.

      • Myrlyn Biffle

        You know twenty-five percent of women have experienced rape, right?

        • Moe Chughtai

          Bitch, are you retarted? 25% of women have been raped? So out of a group of 4 friends, one is a rape victim. Does that even make sense to you? How can you so blindly trust quotes like that?

          • Brittany

            Asshole, maybe you should do some research. The statistic is probably much higher than you think. According to the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) 1 in every 6 American women has experience rape. (~16.7%). Based on the tone of you comment you’re probably thinking “oh hey, that’s not that many.” Think again. 17.7 million American women have been victims of rape in their lifetimes. So sit down, shut up, and don’t insult people who at least consider something as serious as rape a problem they should know about.

          • John

            When someone says something like one in four women IN THE US have been raped in their lifetimes, you need to sit down and think to yourself: does this statistic make sense? If a statistic sounds too large, it usually is.

            Do the research. Look at the way “rape” is being defined. If it includes things like cat-calls and drunk sex (not wasted sex, but drunk sex), then you start to see how the picture may be skewed.

          • Kevin Jackson

            I of course abhor rape, but how do we know what number is right? I’ve heard 1 in 4, 1 in 6, 90% of sexual assault goes unreported, yadda yadda, but the truth is, there is no way to know this stuff.

          • Flincher

            You open your response with “bitch” and then misspell “retarded?”

            Let me just… yeah here it is *slow clap*

        • stats arent proof

          25% 1 in 6, 1 in 3, 1 in 30, upwards of 77%, “at least half”, 0.7%

          just a few statistics I just pulled from the net regarding rape frequency among women in North America, The UK and Australia. Every single percentage that you have ever heard for anything in your life is a lie. You cannot state statistics as fact.

          • more stats

            oh, and evidently 16.7%

      • amy

        Women have to be paranoid because they’re more at risk. Women are the ones who get dragged into vans. Women are the ones who get raped in broad daylight. Women are the ones who are most likely to be victims of spousal abuse.

      • Nemo

        The important thing to remember here is that when a man goes to a court of law and claims to have been violently attacked, he is treated as the victim of that crime. When a woman goes to a court of law and claims to have been raped she is cross-examined along with the criminal and made to feel like a criminal herself. Despite the fact that accepted rape sentences lie between ten and fifteen years, convicted rapists usually get only three to six by judges discretion. Of course women have to take precautions against rape above and beyond those taken by men to avoid violence, because women will be held responsible for the crime.

        • Kevin Jackson

          You are completely delusional if you don’t think women are treated much better by all public institutions. Rape is a really, really difficult charge to prove. Women have to take more precaution because they are much physically weaker on the average, and thus, on the average, much more likely to be victimized. This isn’t complicated. Why do you have to make it so?

          • Clara

            It’s not delusion at all. You just need to read papers calling 11 year old female rape victims ‘sexually experienced’, ‘predatory’ ‘wears a lot of make up and hangs out with older guys’ to know who society is ready to blame. A judge in the UK was disbarred for describing a female child rape victim ‘predatory’.

          • Sir Marcus Dongwater

            “A judge in the UK was disbarred for describing a female child rape victim ‘predatory’.”
            Exactly. He blamed the victim and was disbarred for it. That doesn’t support your claims in any way.

          • Alan

            It serves as an example of how people will go out of their way to blame rape victims, even children. The fact that he was disbarred doesn’t change the fact that no one, especially judges, should be victim-blaming in the fist place. And this isn’t and isolated incident. Many judges and lawyers have blamed the victim in some way.

          • Alan

            Women aren’t just more likely to be victimized because they are on average physically weaker, and that still wouldn’t explain all the victim blaming. And Nemo never said he or she thinks women are treated much better by all public institutions, and calling him/her “completely delusional” for something that he/she didn’t say is a rather dishonest ad hominem tactic.

      • Jodi Rives Meier

        Your usage of terms like “brain-washed” and “victimized” and “paranoid” are examples of exactly what we’re talking about here. The women in the class have had the message repeated over and over and over that, if they are attacked, it is their fault because they should have been doing more (in the case of being eternally vigilant) or less (in the case of drinking or flirting or wearing certain clothing) to avoid it. No one is saying most men are anything–what is being said is that the message is that there are bad people out there and it is the responsibility of alllllllll women to avoid being their victims, rather than placing the blame where it belongs: on a cultural prevalence to excuse assault and blame the assaulted. It is interesting to me how virulently some men fight against acknowledging this stuff. Why not be on the side of culling the herd of your violent, raping brothers rather than calling your sisters “absurd”?

      • Kaitlin Powell

        WOW I wanted to say that!!! Its true – there is a lot of hysteria around these issues.

    • http://www.facebook.com/heather.job Heather J?b

      I love this lesson. It gets really tiresome seeing my fellow students being completely unaware of their male privilege, and I think it would be really good to show them the reality of being a woman in our culture, even if just so they understand why we still need feminism. You could do similar “check your privilege” lessons with race.

      • Archy

        I am pretty shocked at how blissfully unaware many women commenting here are of their own privilege. Do you know how common it is to see a woman say something along the lines of men being able to walk the street safe at night when it’s actually men who are the most at risk of violence by strangers, by double that of women for physical violence for example?

        • Raymond Barrett

          Yeah, I was kind of wondering about comments like that, too. I’ve been physically attacked, and even robbed at gun point, walking around in the middle of the day. Where do these people live, who can walk around at night without fear of being assaulted?

          • Archy

            I refused to buy a drink for a stranger once and copped 10 hits to the stomach, he finally stopped after I tensed my stomach…being 18 and scared I froze up. I am 6’6, 300lbs+, so if people are willing to take on men my size then no one is safe. I walk around like wolverine with carkeys between knuckles sometimes when it’s late and I feel nervous.

            Men usually get less street harassment in the form of sexual comments, wolf whistles, etc but they’re far more likely to be physically attacked in a non-sexual manner, be beaten up, and killed on the streets. Neither gender is safe!

          • advice giver

            hey man… the car keys thing is the worst idea. You can lose the use of your hands.

          • Archy

            My keys have a rounded back so they fit in snugly. I don’t do it as much anymore as I am getting more confident and trying to worry less.

          • You Are Wrong

            So you’re saying that men are attacked by men. Got it. Sounds like you should PROBABLY be taking that complaint up with your own gender. Also, you weren’t raped, and if you even are, it’s not like you can get pregnant and be pressured to bring the life into the world and support it for the rest of your entire life. Sooo.

          • Archy

            Oh so you’re going to argue that rape is worse for women right? Get out of here troll. Btw, I got attacked by women too, groped, punched, slapped.

          • mg

            The argument is not who is doing the attacking it is “the fear” that everyone has.

            Walk
            alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed –
            See more at:
            http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/11/30-examples-of-male-privilege/#sthash.PD0WG6Na.dpuf
            Walk
            alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed –
            See more at:
            http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/11/30-examples-of-male-privilege/#sthash.PD0WG6Na.dpuf
            Walk
            alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed –
            See more at:
            http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/11/30-examples-of-male-privilege/#sthash.PD0WG6Na.dpuf

        • Ophidia Matsumoto

          They should stay out of dark alleys then. Clearly they’re asking for it…

          Kidding, kidding. Thank you for that point, though: definitely male violence and aggression a problem for men as well as women. Not many women violently attack strangers.

        • Mara Zampariolo

          they are also more able to respond to that, hello ? and BTW they will be attacked by other males so… how about friggin’ behave ? women could attack weaker subjects (other women or elderly) but guess what? they don’t .

          • Archy

            I’ve been attacked by women, and I was bigger. I was scared shitless because size doesn’t mean everything and even big men can be afraid. It’d be great if everyone behaved.

    • http://www.facebook.com/ellen.hagerman.99 Ellen Hagerman

      I feel very strange reading this… I am FAAB but identify as genderqueer- I only came to recognize this identity recently, so I still feel somewhat connected to women, but if I lean towards either distended, it tends to be male. I was shocked by the fact that in the past year, my fears related to sexual assault have severely diminished- my list would be closer in length to a male-identifying person than a female-identifying one- after having been taught over and over again of the risks. I also identify as a feminist, but I know the problems go farther in reality than what is heard by those outside the experience.

      My question is, what do I / we do to avoid falling into acceptance of any kind of privilege?

    • mgs2ss

      Next, you should ask the class how they avoid getting discriminated against while around children. I guarantee you that the men will have answers like “never let a child (even yours) sit on your lap in public”, or “always have a woman around when in a public place”, and many other fun answers. The women in your class will wonder what the hell you are talking about.

      Privilege goes both ways, and I think it is important to remember this.

      Also, I know you are a Communications teacher, so it is kind of awkward to ask this, but in the future, could you make paragraph breaks while writing something so long? It makes it a lot easier to read what you are writing. I actually had to copy and paste your comment into MS Word, and add my own breaks to it, so I could read it without killing my eyes.

      • Jodi Rives Meier

        What you are talking about is not female privilege, but patriarchy. It is not female privilege that you perceive you cannot be alone with a child or have them sit on your lap–it is the strict gender roles demanded by and enforced by patriarchy. Privilege means an advantage someone gets just by being born. You not getting to hang out with the young uns is not a privilege for us–hence, not female privilege. I think you’ll find that if patriarchy went away, so would your complaints. And, don’t like the comment format? Easy fix–don’t read it.

        • mgs2ss

          1. What I am talking about is the fact that things go both ways in the world, and not everything is as black and white as you have been indoctrinated to believe.

          2. You being able to be around children without being suspected of being a predator absolutely IS a privilege that you enjoy. Isn’t it ironic that you point out all of the privileges that men enjoy, but don’t realize that they have, when you refuse to accept that there are many that go the other way?

          3. What you posted, is what we on the Internet refer to as a “Wall of Text.” I know this whole Internet thing might be new to you, but seeing as how you identified yourself as an educator, it frightens me to know that you can not locate the “Enter” key on a keyboard.

          • Jodi Rives Meier

            Exhausting. And petty. And intentionally ignorant.

          • mgs2ss

            What exactly is petty and intentionally ignorant? Your very own post here? If this is how you respond when confronted with differing opinions, you really shouldn’t be a Communications teacher. You shouldn’t post silly things on the Internet if you aren’t prepared to be critiqued or disagreed with. Isn’t it part of your job to teach your students how to debate and respond to criticism?
            People like you are the reason our education system is going down the drain. The minute you are presented with something that challenges your preconceived notions of the world, you bury your head in the sand while shouting “racist!”, “sexist!”, or “ignorant!”

          • Kaitlin Powell

            Jodi is a gender bigot. She will three card monty her arguments from “its the paitriarchy”, to “men are the predators” to “you are creepy”. This model has been used by mean girls since junior high. BTW. Its been effective to men with low self exteems and who need female validation.

          • Kaitlin Powell

            We are tired of this Jodi. All of us. Mgs2ss has a point. The constant labeling of men as predatory results in them leaving primary education as teachers, childcare, etc. is a result of this. We say to men “you need to be more of a caregiver out of one side of the mouth, then label them as sexual deviants out of the other”. I would also suggest you drop the paitriarchy – its not an inclusive term, and nobody has offered a valid alternative to the “paitriachry” (other than marxism). You call him petty.
            Your attitudes toward men is driving them away from colleges, and you dont see this as an educator? Women dominate the campuses, and the few men that show up, are more than twice as likely to leave, you have to harrass as perpetrators?
            If you dont see yourself as biased – what other crimes did you cover with your students? Men are afraid of being attacked, im sure – but that wont fit in your paradigm.

          • Mara Zampariolo

            I personally know at least 3 male teachers who constantly try to sleep with students… as for the predatory well sorry, it’s a fact. 1 women in 3 gets to be assaulted or raped or harassed in her life. Fact.

          • Kaitlin Powell

            Report them. Since you are lumping in assaulted (which includes forced kissing and harassed with rape) – i bet the results are gender neutral. Women grab/grope men constantly in the form of fun.

          • Not Fooled Dude

            Seriously, I love that you claimed that women CONSTANTLY grope men just for fun. You gave away the fact that you’re not a woman with that one. 2/10 Trolling Attempt.

          • Archy

            Some do, not all.

          • Mara Zampariolo

            humm.. you do realize that if British airways won’t allow any child aged 12 or less to sit next to a male passenger that is NOT a female privilege becuase we were born women, but simply the result of MEN misbehaving (as in pedophils?). Because privilege is something you are born with doing nothing for it. What you call discrimination, unfortunately has a lot to do with men being 99% of pedophiles… FACT

          • Kaitlin Powell

            I wonder what you would say about Blacks and Crime? Does you bigotry go that way too?

          • Not Fooled Dude

            Stealing a girl’s avatar and posting as a woman is a nice strategy in the eyes of a Mens Rights Activist I’m sure, but after reading your posts, you’re clearly a guy. If you actually were a woman, your own experience alone would mean that you wouldn’t hold any of the opinions that you’ve been posting. If you STILL held them, you’d have an incredibly low comprehension level.

          • Kaitlin Powell

            So im fake or stupid because I don’t agree with you. Awww liberal diversity – everyone looks different, but thinks the same.

          • Archy

            Men aren’t 99% of pedophiles, nor sex offenders. Most child abuse is committed by mothers, does that mean we shouldn’t allow women next to children because women have misbehaved?

        • Archy

          That is female privilege, the mental olympics you’re showing to femsplain it away are phenomenal. By virtue of being female women are privileged with being seen as safe around children, it’s part of the “Women are wonderful” effect. It’s as silly as saying women not being able to work isn’t a privilege for men…

          Take another privilege – In the Ukraine RIGHT NOW men up to the age of 40 have been called up for conscription, thus women are privileged as women have the privilege called personal autonomy in that country. The men are about to goto war with a much larger and superior force which will roll over them so badly if they goto war. Granted there are more privileges for men in many countries but female privileges still exist.

          • Kael

            Okay but why the fuck can no one accept that it truly isn’t so black and white? Lots of problems labeled as “male privilege” are due to patriarchy, but that doesn’t mean there are some privileges that women have. However, while that may be the case, privilege is heavily weighted towards males rather than females. It’s plain as fucking day, people. Grow up and work together instead of dehumanising and insulting the other side.

          • Archy

            “Lots of problems labeled as “male privilege” are due to patriarchy, but
            that doesn’t mean there are some privileges that women have.”
            Was there a typo here?
            My personal belief is in my country, there are privileges for men, and privileges for women. Tallied up there are more for men. It appears to be similar in most countries, some are far more disproportionate. Time period also plays a big role on privilege, eg in war quite often women whom aren’t conscripted whilst men are and aren’t the invaded country will have the privilege of far more safety and aren’t slaves to the ruling power of their country (since conscripts are slaves). Everyone in the warzone/occupied area though is in major danger so there’s no privilege there really.

      • misskate

        Maybe you should read more in order to train your eyes to read better. Furthermore, your present argument is a fallacy since you attack Jodi’s writing instead of her argument. I believe it is an ad hominem fallacy.

        • mgs2ss

          Maybe you should read more to train your brain to comprehend what people are writing. The entire first part of my post was discussing her argument. It was only at the end of my post that I suggested that she write lengthy posts with line breaks, instead of posting massive walls of text.

      • Alan

        I agree that women have some privileges over men in a patriarchal society, but men have many more privileges than women due. And a lot of “privileges women have are actually because of sexist views towards women in the first place. Please note the sarcasm in the following sentences. If a man is raped by a woman (it does happen) then clearly he was weak because women are weaker than men, or he really wanted it because men always want sex (actually, this one is because of sexism against men). If a man claims he wasn’t assaulted by a woman people either won’t believe such a delicate flower could hurt him or assault him in the first place. If he did get beaten up by a woman then he must be weak and unmanly, etc. Women are more likely than men to get custody of their children because women are stereotyped as more maternal and nurturing.

    • I_Am_M

      PARAGRAPHS motherfucker! Have you heard of them?!

    • ADThompson

      Your exercise with your class about how females either are treated, or
      feel they are treated in society, or how they feel they have to act in certain
      situations truly would have been eye opening for the males. However the way you
      speak and the way you refer and treat your male students is extremely sexist.
      You clearly have contempt for males in general. You won’t find many male
      teachers with such an open biased distain for their female students. Privilege
      works both ways. If a couple are walking together and get mugged, the mugger
      will focus all the violence on the male. Not only that but the female will
      expect the male to protect her ect. A situation much worse for males. Of course
      males are afraid to walk down dark alleys or through parks at night. To think
      otherwise is stupidity, and a good way to make it sound worse for females.
      Although females are more likely to be raped, that is a tiny percent of crime
      compared to males being mugged or just beat up for fun. There is much more of a
      chance of a female being escorted or driven home to completely avoid these
      situations than males. He would be insulted and mocked if he asked someone to
      walk him home. If a female is escorted home, she has every right to not invite
      the male in (rightly so) which then means he has to walk back again. ALONE. But
      I bet you think a male asking to escort a female home must mean he has terrible
      intentions and is terribly sexist. Females are treated much better by the
      courts in everyway. More forgiveness, understanding, compassion and much
      lighter sentences. Why don’t you ask your class who usually wins money,
      property and children in divorce cases. During a divorce if the husband has
      been in the wrong it goes against his case, a wife could sleep with an entire
      football team and it would have no effect on her case. In some states in
      America, courts can award ex wives Permanent Alimony. This means the husband
      has to pay the ex wife up to 40% of his wages FOREVER. Even in retirement the
      husband has to pay a percent of his social security but the wife keeps ALL of
      hers. These are just a few simple examples, there are plenty more. Law is set
      up to protect women and punish men. Feminists have no problem with this. How do
      expect any teenage boy to know what it’s like to arrange a schedule around the
      availability of a toilet? Are boys talked to about it, do girls even want boys
      to know. (I’m assuming this is to do with a girls menstrual cycle, I apologise
      if I am wrong). Remember having periods is a girls privilege to bare children.
      Next class why don’t you ask about female privilege. It’s mentioned about males
      privilege is not knowing you have it, But at the end of your post, when the
      males wanted to discuss the other side of the point you were trying to make,
      you acted like their side was meaningless. You seemed angry that you were
      forced to discuss men’s issues. How dare you treat anyone else’s feelings,
      opinions, life problems like a waste of time. You talk about how males don’t
      understand female concerns, but you your self aren’t even prepared to
      acknowledge that males might actually have concerns themselves. And that there
      valid. Your blinkered approach, mind set, and beliefs concerning life and
      privilege, male or female, is shocking to say the least, it’s biased,
      inaccurate, pig headed and above all uneducated. Your are one of them male
      students who couldn’t understand life from a female perspective. The ones you
      look down on. Next class instead of berating the males and encouraging the
      females why don’t you try teaching your students (and yourself) both sides of
      the question of privilege.

      I Have included a list of female privilege, perhaps you should ask your class
      and see how many females mention items of female privilege. Maybe they males
      won’t seem as ignorant when the females show the same lack of knowledge. You
      asked a very complex and stacked question and used it to admonish, embarrass
      and judge every male in your class. Prove me wrong. Ask my questions on female
      privilege (fairly) to your class and show how in the know of their privilege
      females are. Or accept privilege is a two way street.

      http://mensresistance.wordpress.com/female-privilege-checklist/

    • Kevin Jackson

      This is all true, but it’s a completely one-sided account. No female privileges you’d like to share with us?

    • cause and effect

      “the gals so they wouldn’t get assaulted, the guys so they wouldn’t get robbed”

      Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we indoctrinate our young girls into thinking men are raping, kidnapping monsters that aren’t to be trusted and we teach our boys that women are lying, dependent thieves that aren’t to be trusted…
      I was raped by a family member over a long period of time and have since never taken any steps to not be raped. Do you know how many other people have raped me? ZERO!
      Well over half of reported rapes are commited by the victims current intimate partner, in their bedroom. Most people go their entire lives without being affected by rape outside of the constant paranoia that they suffer.

      “who had ever paid for something in a store/restaurant and had the change handed to their companion, who had ever had their companion asked to order for them in a restaurant, who had ever had a companion asked to answer for them in a social situation”

      I’d also like to point out that these are things that the last 3 generations of my family insisted that I do on the grounds that it’s chivalrous… I notice you didn’t include “How many of you have ever paid for a date?” or “Has anyone ever had the gall to try to hold the door open for you?” These are things that men didn’t want to do but did anyways because that’s how you treat a lady. It’s voluntary servitude that has become the moral norm and is now transitioning into a generational guilt to be carried by every male. In the 50′s it would have been unheard of that I would insult my date by making her order for herself and now I’m a villain for offering.

      So ask yourself, what do you expect from people? What does you ideal world look like? and is that really a place that you would want to be? Because if being polite rather than paranoid is wrong, to hell with doing right.

    • bobowitz

      this is kinda… bullshit.
      sorry.

    • Brendan

      It’s a shame that you can pretend to be a role model. It’s unfortunate that you can pretend to be a professor when you don’t know the first thing about your subject. Women are less likely to be victims of violence than men (BJS, FBI). Women’s efforts not to be assaulted are signs of their paranoia rather than actual oppression.

      And since when is being expected to pay for shit a sign of privilege?

  • M

    You have not seen people of your sex consistently and routinely portrayed as weak, vulnerable, and unable to defend themselves (news reports, movies, TV).
    You have consistently and routinely seen people of your sex portrayed as strong and able to inflict violence and force on others.
    Every president of the US has shared your sex.
    If you work for a corporation, you can expect many, most, or all of the high-level leadership to be of your sex.
    Before taking a job (in many industries), you need not question whether your sex will hinder your success in the company or department you are joining. (I think there are some industries and jobs where the opposite is the case.)
    You do not routinely hear jokes that equate your sex with lack of intelligence (often with specific physical attributes, e.g. Being blonde

    • Interested

      Yet women are not routinely seen as suspicious around children, potential aggressors and perpetrators just waiting for a chance to strike. Ask men in a room how many times they have been viewed negatively as social buffoons, relationship halfwits, aggressive threats and useless, unhelpful and selfish, and every single one will want to raise their hand. Hell, remember the Readers Digest column of ‘Mere Male’ where every month women wrote in about what morons their husbands were? It is time we recognized that each gender has stereotypes that are limiting, demeaning and difficult. Let’s all try to fix them without the ‘Oh, but it’s harder for me because of…..’ stuff that both genders can trot out.

      • xflowahsx

        Because more men ARE perpetrators. Plain and simple fact.

        • More Like Uninterested

          Exactly. Are these stupid men really trying to make us believe that they’re just dying to hang out with kids in the first place? You’re not. Statistically, you don’t even hang out with your OWN kids.

  • M

    If you have an other-sex partner, it is unlikely that your partner will expect you to do more / most / all of the housework and childcare. It is likely that your partner will expect to do at least 50% of such things.
    If you have an other-sex partner, you routinely encounter examples of male-female relationships in which the person of your sex does significantly less housework / childcare. (statistics, movies, etc.)
    You do not routinely encounter portrayals of people of your sex in sexually objectified manner in “mainstream” places. (I am aware of gay/bi male objectification. I am thinking of things like seeing Playboy for sale at the convenience store.)
    You may have had few encounters in which you have been viewed as a potential sex object because of your sex (May apply mostly to hetero men.)

    I feel like I could go on endlessly, but I need to get some food.

  • Jay

    1) You are constantly expected to worry about the safety of the woman you’re with.

    a) when walking alone with her at night, in a parking garage, etc. you must be considering endless scenarios in which you will have to take charge and put your own safety at risk for the sake of your companion.

    2) You HAVE to be tough. You aren’t allowed to complain, cry, or anything of that nature.

    3) you can’t spend too much time thinking about how you look (even if you want to) or women and men will question your manliness and sexuality.

    4) Every time you interact with little children, you have to worry about being accused of sexual harassment.

    5) During sexual encounters. Even in a situation where you and your partner are intoxicated, you have to bear the responsibility of determining whether or not her thinking is AT ALL impaired (even if yours is too, and even if she assures you she is fine) because you may be accused of rape.

    a) I undersand the terrible nature of rape, and of course acknowledge that being raped is more damaging than being accused of it. However, the latter is not something to ignore, seeing as how it can put you in jail.

    6) when pursuing a career, you must frequently put making money ahead of following your passions b/c you are expected to be the primary supporter of your family.

    7) In any dangerous situation, society believes you are the most expendable commodity. (ie the killing of women and children is almost always deemed a separate and worse category than young men)

    8)People are almost always more sympathetics to women than they are to men. Men are just expected to “suck it up”

    9) Women can be incredibly emotionally abusive to men, yet the men aren’t allowed to do anything about it.

    10) There is constant pressure from society to be buff and tall (the second one you cannot even do anything about)

    My point with these is not to undermine the arguments put forth about the privileges experienced by men over women. Instead, I mean just to demonstrate that there are countless societal expectations men have to deal with every day too. However, as one of the most primary of these expectations is that men must be tough, stoic, and uncomplaining, you really never hear about them. I think that these types of conversations are incredibly productive, how ever, it seems apparent in this thread, that the goal has shifted from an attempt to elucidate various privileges experienced by genders, into an incredibly resentful, one sided conversation.

    • ninch

      I really like your list cause it’s one that does very well point out how the current ‘system’ also hurts men. It’s a nice example of how we can take the male privilege list further and think about how men as ‘the ruling class’ also suffer and could greatly benefit from more equity.

    • http://twitter.com/ViveLeShelby Shelby

      Hopefully this article can help you see why your distress as a person of privilege is different than the distress of people who aren’t male and men: http://weeklysift.com/2012/09/10/the-distress-of-the-privileged/

      • Jarvis

        Every person’s distress is a little bit different. We’re all unique individuals and aren’t solely defined by the groups we’re in. We should be collectively working together to ease and eliminate all legitimate forms of unnecessary distress rather than having petty little contests about who is more distressed. Everybody’s sh!t sucks when you’re in it. And believe it or not, many people out there (myself included) are compassionate and empathetic enough to feel a keen sense of distress on the behalf of others, even if a certain kind of distress doesn’t directly impact us.

    • http://www.facebook.com/brando.furtado Brando Furtado

      You do understand this is male privilege? Even the disadvantages. If you think male privilege means “men suck and women have it hard” than you are over simplifying and not really giving this issue much thought. This is not an us vs them issue. This is simply an exercise in being aware of the invisible rules and stereotypes that exist in society and how to change them.

      Unfortunately you seem to think that male privilege means that men have it easy, because you seem to think feminists have it out for men.

      You should be concerned about eradicating all disadvantages of people. Does writing your list somehow invalidate the issues that women face?

      Seriously guys, stop being so defensive about this little word. It is not meant to attack you. Yes, there are usually young, hyper undergrads who take these arguments and run with them and use them to attack straight men, but scratch passed the surface.

      All the things you listed are real. And if you had done your research you would see that these are all things that come with male privilege. They are the negative consequences of that privilege.

      Let me go over them one by one.

      1. Men are expected to be the strong one. If he fails to protect the ones he loves he

      is seen as less than a man. By other men and women. Feminists did not create this
      scenario. A disadvantage for both men and women created by male privilege.

      2. Women have never had the power to tell you that showing your emotions is unmanly.

      This comes from other men. And women who are simply existing in the culture created by our ancestors. A disadvantage created by male privilege to write the rules of behavior
      and to define masculinity as something precious and valuable rather than by simply being born with a penis.

      3.Women are supposed to be the pretty one. They are supposed to shave everything,
      paint their faces and wear underwear that pushes around their body parts. A man doing
      this is seen by society as being womanly. This was not created by women to oppress men. This was created by men to create a division between the sexes. To define masculinity and define femininity and it’s proper role in society.

      4. Society encourages men to be sexual aggressors. Society however also values the innocence of children. Therefore a sexual male and an innocent child together arouses suspicion. This was not created by feminists to make men feel bad. This existed before feminism. Men are horny bastards is a construct of male privilege. We are encouraged to “score” to “get her into bed.” Our language and society treats sex like a sport. A hunt. Can’t blame the feminists for this one. The suspicion is there because women are supposed to be the nurturing ones so a man MUST have an ulterior motive if he is around children /s (this is now how i think but how society as a whole thinks)

      5. This one may very well be the result of feminism .I can give you this one. However consider history for a second and realize that there was a time, in your fathers or grandfathers time, not that long ago, where a woman could not come forward to accuse someone of rape without suffering damage to her reputation.

      This is an example of the pendulum swinging and course correction. When the pendulum swings too far one way, and eventually swings back the other way, it has a tendency to over swing.

      You can discuss number 5 with a feminist and if you are reasonable, and she is reasonable, she will listen to you but you should also listen to her. You might find common ground or a solution to the problem. Not everything has to be an us vs them type fight. You can be acknowledged for all the ways you are disadvantaged in life and not have to trivialize others disadvantages in doing so.

      • http://www.sfuedreview.org/ 4tomic

        “You do understand this is male privilege? Even the disadvantages. If you
        think male privilege means “men suck and women have it hard” than you
        are over simplifying and not really giving this issue much thought. This
        is not an us vs them issue. This is simply an exercise in being aware
        of the invisible rules and stereotypes that exist in society and how to
        change them.”

        I agree, but this seems to be the issue of “male privilege” and “patriarchy” in general. The words, when used too broadly, engender something that really has no gender. Simply put, male privilege becomes simply used to mean “culture”. At a certain point, a gender neutral word like culture seems more appropriate to myself.

        When the question is posed, “aren’t most male privilege also a female privilege” (example women expected to take more care of the children / women given full-custody an extremely disproportionate amount of the time) the response is often, “No, because patriarchy created these norms, it isn’t a female privilege.” As you claim repeatedly “this norm was created by men” [exact quote]. Notice you put all onus on men. Truthfully culture is co-constructed by all members of society, often unconsciously. Women and men participate in the creation of culture, and you deny women their power/ability/responsibility by omission.

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  • anon

    As a gay man who has been sexually assaulted, number 10 is highly offensive, regardless of the fact that the perpetrator was another man.

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  • negro joe

    im pretty skeptical of “HURR MALE CIS STRAIGHT PRIVELEGE DIE CIS SCUM” i will agree with some like “appearances will not affect males as much in terms of careers” but come on. saying “chances are” and “will most likely happen” are not substitutes for evidence. how does all of this “members of the same sex” shit matter in the slightest? it dosent. and im not sure exactly how that is a privelege in the first place. oh. and the male privelge i thought of for your list is “if you are a man in the united states you will have to sign up for the draft to vote” or. ” if you are a man statistically only 24% of the time, you will not lose your children in a divorce”

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  • J

    I only agreed with about four of these. Most of them seem to be very opinionated or rely on myths.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

    Penis,cock and dick are acceptable but vagina and pussy are seen as dirty words.

    • Interested

      Yes, of course. Everyone reacts so well to being called a dick.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SierraisPsychotic Sierra Perea

    You should do an article on the word “Gay”,used as a slang word. IE:”Dude,stop being gay!” After someone parkours or what have you,you know what I mean.

  • JS

    Not to downplay the abuse that happens to women, but points Thirteen and Fourteen are most certainly not correct, but otherwise this is a pretty great list.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/logan.holtz.33 Logan Holtz

    This article reminded me of the time I wasn’t expected to pick up a girl with flowers buy her a meal, drinks and then walk her home…..O yea that’s right that never happens. I believe in gender equality but people should realize there are privileges in both genders. PS half of these are contradicting like 3. talks about driving and men have to pay more for car insurance than women on the assumption they drive more recklessly.

  • http://twitter.com/ViveLeShelby Shelby

    If you have a bad day or are in a bad mood, people aren’t going to blame it on your sex
    Addendum: or especially the bodily functions associated with your sex (period, menopause)

    If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children
    Addendum: And you probably won’t have to share custody or be forced by law to allow unsupervised visits with your children to an abusive partner. Many women who are abused by partners that they had children with are forced by a judge to share custody of their children or allow UNsupervised visits, regardless of abuse allegations, or even convictions sometimes. I don’t have a source for it except that we learned about it in my Women’s Health class (a 400 level college course) in the Violence Against Women section last week.

  • Sonja

    When in a mixed-sex group (mostly in educational situations)…
    *you can be sure that your opinion will be listened to and considered by almost all authorities
    *if you are outspoken, it is expected of you, rather than people thinking you are too annoying or load-mouthed for your gender
    *if you do not behave properly and/or get bad results, people rationalize it as “normal” and your authorities will probably not tell you that you are setting a bad example for everyone else of your gender

    The first two are particulary important for me and what I, as a Swedish female teenager, have experienced.

  • Jeff M

    Congrats, you win the ‘white knight’ of the year award.

  • Kathleen

    “If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children”
    In fact, a relatively large proportion of men experience intimate partner abuse in their lifetime. Men are simply less likely to be hospitalized for their injuries, or to report the abuse to the police.
    I completely agree with the rest of this list, and I love this website and supported the Kickstart for the Gender book, but I have a male partner who was abused in a heterosexual relationship with a female for over 4 years, and I know of many other cases. He rarely needed an emergency room, and he never went to the police. Intimate partner abuse of males is just a hidden and misunderstood issue.

    • Jarvis

      Kathleen, thanks for posting this. I was thrown by how misleading that item on the list was too, and posted about it. I grew up in a home where my mom was abusive of my father, myself and both my sisters. This sort of situation is far less rare than many people will admit. Oddly, my post on the matter doesn’t show up anywhere that I can see. I don’t have time to rewrite the whole thing, so I’m glad people like you have also addressed it. To my mind, to suggest that women are not equally susceptible to the human weaknesses that lead a person to abuse others is, in itself, unfair to women (and men). If we pretend that women cannot have trouble with anger management, substance abuse problems or any of the other factors that lead to someone becoming an abuser, we make it far less likely that the women who do struggle with these things will get the treatment they need. It’s like we’re suggesting that the female brain is impervious to distress and thereby holding women to an impossible standard. And, as you said, we’re also marginalizing men who are abused by women and already less likely to report it.

  • Fuji

    Agh, these are just awful. I’m sorry… There are many examples of male privilege, but some of these are just straight up atrocious.

    “26. You can spend time on your appearance without having people criticizing you for upholding unhealthy gender norms.”

    That not only doesn’t make sense (nobody criticizes people for being normal), but it’s actually the complete opposite of the truth. When men put effort into their appearance, they aren’t commended for it with a “good job deviating from gender norms!” More likely they’re derided for it. A man who puts a lot of effort into his appearance is apt to be called a “fag” or a “homo.”

  • SpikedYum

    I am going to address one here, or maybe a few, because this list is just so unbelievably idiotic that I just can’t take this “Sam” seriously.

    We are priviledged because we don’t fear anyone that walks in the same areas as us at night? Why would a woman “fear” people at night? Because she is more likely to be raped than a man? Well men are more likely to be violently assaulted than a woman is to be raped, and yet we do not fear people at night. So what this boils down to is that we are privileged because women are paranoid…That is like a suicidal person saying “you are privileged because “I” am suicidal.”
    Not only this, but I, as a man, am privileged to be assumed as a threat, a criminal, a sexual deviant, simply because she is paranoid? Oh yes. Male privilege, I mean, what shows our privilege more than being assumed to being criminal scum simply for being a man at night, right? Such male privilege.

    Number four has interested me. A lot of women “are” hired simply for being women, that is not an opinion, that is a fact. If it is privilege to state these things that are “possibilities”, then you are saying it is privilege to assume a possibility. God damn our privilege, understanding society and affirmative action! Such male privilege to understand facts!
    Even then I have not heard this once, even when it “can” be the case.

    “Women are bad drivers” is what you are getting at. When people say that it tends to be in a “joke” form. I have said it, many other people have said it, but do we mean it to be taken seriously? No. Stop passing off jokes to be taken seriously.

    Number six, I can only assume you are nipping at the whole “wage gap myth”, well sorry, “Sam”, but that myth has been proven wrong, and it has been proven wrong by showing that men make different choices in their life better suited to their career than women do, and the sacrifices they make to gain more money. This can also be applied to the whole “manager being male” part, or any other variation of this particular topic.

    “Most political representatives share your sex, particularly the higher-ups”…That’s fine and dandy, but how does that benefit “me” as a male? How is this “my” privilege?
    Also, men are more likely to take up a career in politics than women, so more men are going to be the “higher ups”, because “more men” are working to get there. If you are saying men are privileged for working towards something more than women, then I have no words. What do you expect men to do, pull back from the careers they want to work towards just so it can please the feminists? (Yes, I am fairly certain you are a feminist).

    “You are not pressured by peers and society to be thin as much as the opposite sex”…Oh? Maybe not “skinny”, but society is showing just as much “buff” guys as “thin” women in the media. Look up crap like Twilight, Vampire Diaries, and all the other modern TV-shows. Look at the commercials, look at the official music videos, there are just as much implying “buff guys are better” as the “thin girl” ones. Simply because males do not take media as seriously as women do as the thing they have to work towards does not make us privileged. Simply because women want to be like the girls in the media does not mean men are privileged simply for not doing the same.

    “You’re not expected to spend excessive amounts of money on grooming,
    style, and appearance to fit in, while making less money than the
    opposite sex.”…Nobody “expects” women to do this. People may “prefer” it, but they do not “expect” it. But then again, this can be applied to men. Men must keep their hair short to look professional, where as a woman does not. If a man has hair as long as a woman, he has to cut it or he does not “fit in”, same goes with facial hair, if a man lets it grow out, he does not “fit in”. Does that mean females have privilege? By your reasoning it does.
    Again, the earning less money has already been explained.

    This is as far as I am going, as this list has obviously not been thought over, like most feminists ideas of how “males are privileged”.

    Again, the one that stands out here the most to the irrationality and ignorance in this list is my first point – that I am privileged because a woman views me as a violent rapist simply for being a man.

    Seriously, get a grip. Why do we have so many people like “this” as the ones talking about “oppression”, and so on? It’s not just here, but in many areas we have people like this, trying to comply with what is politically correct, regardless of if it is rationally or morally correct.

  • SpikedYum

    Male privilege again, I made a long response to showing why you are wrong, and it gets deleted.

    Male privilege – Having to accept that you are privileged in ways you can prove wrong or be silenced.

    You have no right to speak on behalf of oppression and “social justice” after deleting opposing arguments you dislike.

  • SpikedYum

    Apologies for my “deleting” rant”, I am new to here and could not see my comment on the default comment section that is “best”.

    Apologies for my last comment.

  • Karola

    The page adresses the reader, saying “you”, implying all readers of this page are male.

  • K

    You don’t have to be labeled as just playing “hard to get” if you don’t want to be with someone.

  • Diana

    If you marry, you won’t be expected to change your name or be criticized by others for not having done so. In a heterosexual partnership, you can assume any children you have will share your last name and carry your own family lineage into the future.

  • Lars_Viker

    Good god, no. Noo!!! After a while, I realized there was no irony here.

    The horror. The horror…

  • DragonRouge

    You can express your opinions without worrying about a potentially violent reaction.

    You can use the Internet and not have to worry about if people are tracing your personal information.

  • DragonRouge

    If you’re upset about something, people will try to understand why you’re upset and correct it, not call you crazy

    • Archy

      Sometimes, sometimes they assume you are aggressive and tell you to calm down. You also aren’t allowed to show your tears, you have to remain stoic. Women get assumed to be crazy, men get assumed to be dangerous, violent, etc when upset.

  • Rosy the Riviter
  • Dirigible

    As usual, I can only respond to each point based on my personal beliefs and experiences, and am in no way speaking for the entirety of my gender, nor am I the rule, but rather in many cases, an exception. I’m simply commenting to give some insight to how a man of my traits would perceive these claims, or be affected by them for good or bad. Let’s approach this rationally.

    1. When I witness a female co-worker or peer of any kind in a bad mood, I do not think in the slightest about them being a female. Usually, I’m curious or annoyed that they are in a bad mood at all. Particularly in the workplace. I do, however, get quite bothered when someone calls a female out on being in a bad mood, and her defense is to say that she’s a woman and we shouldn’t fault her. That’s not typical, although I’ve seen it many times, and it’s unfair when it happens.

    2. I’ve never thought women were more careless than men with money. My mother was certainly better with finances than my father, however, I was always better with money than my ex. I didn’t think carelessness or financial wisdom were gender specific. I can see why that would be frustrating if someone did.

    3. I’m sure it’s frustrating to have people assume you bad driving is due to you being a woman, and not because you’re a terrible driver in general. However, this stereotype would probably not be so perpetuated if it wasn’t a statistical fact that women are usually not as good of drivers as men. This has little to do with societal gender roles, and more to do with the wiring of the male brain versus the female brain. Females on average are better at judging time, while males are generally better at judging space. This means males are more likely to have poor time management skills in comparison, and females are more likely to have car accidents in comparison, both are not airtight, but just on average. I guess I’m just trying to say that it’s an unfair stereotype, but not an unfounded one.

    4. Women outnumber men not only in this country, but also in many, many, many workplaces. I cannot imagine that there are more than a handful of men out there who assume the woman working with them was hired solely because she is a woman. If that is a real common issue, and not just an ass backwards tiny percent of men who think that, then it is a shame. But I find it hard to believe that this assumption is made in the average workplace. The staff at my workplace, which is around 150, has more women than men, and two of the three departmental heads are women. This isn’t the rule, just my personal experience.

    5. Again, I’m not sure what company this is that is holding women back specifically because they are women, and not because they are less experienced or qualified. A few months back I was up for a Lead position at my job. I was not promoted. A female co worker of mine beat me out for the position. I have no problem with this, from a gender standpoint, anyway. She’s actually doing much better in the role than I think I could have. I’d love to know where the companies are that are holding women back from promotions solely on the basis of their gender and nothing else. I’m sure they are out there, but I believe they are not incredibly common.

    6. Again, where are these companies and how are they not being held accountable, if this is in fact the case? As usual, every job I’ve had paid both genders equally for the same job, with the exception of commission based jobs and food serving jobs, where both women and men had the potential to earn as much as they could, and yet men outperformed women substantially. This is not because the company paid them less, it’s because on average, the men simply sold more commission product, or pleased dining customers better.

    7. It seems like this point is similar enough to number 5 that it could have been lumped together…

    8. Hm. Well assuming the woman is visibly incredibly pregnant, I don’t know what kind of hiring manager would really put much thought into that. And if they did, it wouldn’t be on the basis of their gender, but rather on the basis of the money or time the company loses due to maternity leave. Again, I’m sure hiring managers like that exist, but is it common enough to say that women are missing this privilege? I find it hard to believe that it’s that common.

    9. Usually not an issue unless you are wearing something that is designed to draw attention to the more sexually attractive parts of your body. There’s a difference between wearing comfortable, fashionable jeans to walk around in, and wearing the lowest cut, most ass-hugging jeans you can find, and then throwing a fit when an uncouth man makes a comment. If someone is harassing you though, it’s probably better to stand up for yourself than it is to perpetuate “the fear” that Sam referred to. That’s what keeps it from getting better.

    10. This may be a valid point. I’d like to think that every single woman walking to her car or whatever isn’t in constant fear of being raped. And while a crime like that can happen anywhere, it’s probably more common in cities and unlit parking lots etc. etc. I would like to assume that a woman walking around at night in, say, one of the rural areas I lived in, or one of the suburbs, doesn’t have a constant fear of rape streaming through her head. Since a huge amount of rapes related percentages can be attributed to family, boyfriends, or people you know, in most cases, walking down a street in a relatively safe area shouldn’t have you in constant fear of being raped, if so, then I should be in constant fear of getting in a car accident every time I’m in a car. You should live life with constant caution, and constant wisdom, but not with constant fear.

    11. This is probably why the traditional idea of dating is falling apart. A handful of men out there rape their dates, and then a huge amount of women out there treat the guy she’s on a date with as if he could rape her at any moment. It really doesn’t work out well for anyone, including most guys.

    12. This would require a combination of a sound minded judge, and a woman who understands that dressing slutty is not a justification for rape, but it really, really doesn’t help it either. Attractive men without shirts on immediately become sexy chit chat for observing women, and if women were more physically powerful and biologically wired with the immensity of the drives that men are, women would probably rape men too, and be able to blame it on him mowing the lawn without a shirt on. Of course, it’s a hypothetical, I’m just proposing that it be looked at from another perspective.

    13. The inverse of what you’re saying is that if you are a straight woman, you are “likely to be abused by your partner”. That seems incorrect. Not because it doesn’t happen, of course we all know it does. But because you said “likely”, implying commonly, or noticeably more than half the time. I don’t know the numbers of serious domestic abuse cases, but it would blow my mind if I found out it was more than half of all women. I never have, and never would hit a woman, and any verbal or emotional abuse I’ve dished out over the years was usually outdone by the female of the relationship towards me.

    14. Can you? I mean, bachelors who stay bachelors are seen as creeps after long enough, staying single and childless as they age. And married men who don’t have children certainly have their masculinity questioned. The only exception is gay men, which based on the point that was made, doesn’t really play into the issue, since biologically two gay men cannot procreate with each other.

    15. You worded that weird. I guess the problem is that women are often expected to be the caretakers of children? Statistically, it’s because they’re better at it. I really don’t know what else to say about that.

    16. I find this issue can go either way. A woman who is a stay at home mother these days can often be looked down on for not being in the career field. And I think most people are understanding that many women want to, or in most cases, need to work as well as raise a family. People who fail to be understanding of this are clearly in need of help.

    17. Depends. It’s not the norm, more of an exception, but I know a handful of families where the mother had a child and continued her career. I also think that in many cases women tend to prefer to take on the role of a mother when they decide to, and allow it to affect their career gladly, instead of feeling like they are forced into it. Obviously, there are exceptions to this.

    18. Again, you’re kind of touching on a similar point. That a promotion or lack of one will be blamed on your gender alone, and again, I find it hard to come to terms with this being a commonplace thought in most workplaces, but rather, I think it’s more likely a rare thought in an occasional workplace.

    19. Hm. I understand there’s more men in politics overall, but I think plenty of women have done quite well in politics, or at least, made it quite far, and people have judged them more by their actions than by their gender. Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Angela Merkel, Margaret Thatcher, Condoleeza Rice, etc. etc. don’t seem to be the types that were judged on their gender as much as other accomplishments or roles. I think what a lot of people imply when they talk about women in politics is the lack of a woman president (in the U.S., anyway. There have been many female leaders in other countries). The lack of a woman U.S. president I think it likely attributable to a lack of women who were viable candidates. I think if the right woman were running, even back in 2008 or 2004, they might have been elected. But there just hasn’t been a woman with a strong enough presence, mind, likability, experience, etc. etc. to run against the men who at least provided some of those traits. It’s a gender issue, no doubt, but I think if the right woman ran it could all change very quickly.

    20. I guess. I don’t know the slightest about female politicians’ children and how they arrange to care for them. If the press is talking about stuff like that, it’s on the back page somewhere, because I don’t think the average person even thinks or cares about that. As usual, the press itself will leech off of anything, no matter how trivial or irrelevant. If the public would stop buying into all of it, things might change.

    21. Yep. Obama’s a man, and so am I. But frankly, if the right woman had come along, and I thought she’d do the job better, I’d rather it be her than him. It’s less of a male privilege to share a gender with the president, than it is a coincidence. I don’t really think we gain anything as men by seeing another man above us, particularly if it’s one we don’t like or agree with on many things. Sometimes, I’m not sure that privilege means what you think means. Sometimes I think you use the word “privilege” when you should be using the word “difference”.

    22. They do? I’ve never really noticed that male politicians fight for specifically male issues. On that note, I haven’t the slightest clue what could even be considered a specifically male issue. It seems to me that any fighting a politician does is for the general population, since males don’t really have their own gender specific issues. I mean, I guess if my congressman wanted to take a stand against testicular and prostate cancer. Otherwise, what political issues applies to men but not to women?

    23. Hm. It’s hard to say. Statistically, you’re probably right. But is that because they are men that they are in charge? Or is it because they are men and they happen to be in charge? The reason needs to be examined, instead of assumed. As I mentioned earlier, two of the three departmental heads at my workplace are female, and we’ve had three operations managers in my time there, one male, two female, and two district managers in my time there, one male, one female. The head of deliveries and installations is a female, and the leader of the cashiers is a female. I’d like to think my workplace is pretty typical, with a solid blend of male and female leadership, where if you asked for the person in charge, you could get either gender. But maybe my workplace isn’t typical. Although, I’ve worked several different places, and all of them were staffed in similar ways, with nearly as many, around the same, or more female leaders compared to men. Hm.

    24. As a child, watching nearly any television show taught me that men were supposed to be gruff and masculine, in shape, sexy, and suave. That they were supposed to be attractive with full heads of hair and chiseled abs. If the men I saw weren’t this, then they were sitcom husbands that were portrayed as total nitwits, morons, cowards, and liars, who were constantly outsmarted by their wives and often at their wives feet asking for sex or forgiveness, which she often withheld. And they all worked physical, blue collar jobs involving hard lumberjack like work, or were high powered white collar office men, but never were they artists or thinkers. I think it’s incredibly ridiculous to assume that men don’t have absurd television stereotypes either. I also think it’s incredibly absurd to assume that women didn’t have strong female television characters. Mrs. Huxtable, Vivian Banks, Jill Taylor, Roz Doyle, and many others come to mind as women who were well put together and worked non-limiting careers.

    25. Are you serious? Have you ever seen a guy who doesn’t take care of himself? Fat guys, guys who don’t shave the proper styles, guys who are bald or have greasy hair, guys with bad breath or nail issues, guys with acne, guys who don’t use product in their hair, etc. etc. etc. are all very quickly judged by their peers. Men have to take care of themselves too. Just because men don’t wear makeup, doesn’t mean there aren’t expectations of them and how they look in the workplace. Most guys I know all prefer women who wear less makeup than more, myself included, and in these cases I think women should consider obliging and help men like us push for a cutback on cosmetic expectations of women.

    26. Men are pretty private about keeping up their appearance. The time I spend working on my hair, facial hair, fingernails, toenails, breath, unibrow, and the tons upon tons of body hair I have to maintain, is not something I ever really need to bring up. If people knew how much many men spend on personal care and grooming, they’d probably be a little judgmental too. I suppose it’s just more obvious when women spend a large amount of time working on themselves, than when men do. And I think both genders probably feel pressure to work out and physically keep themselves looking good.

    27. I don’t know about that. Fat guys are way more likely to get passed up for a promotion than almost anyone, be it fit guys, fit women, or even fat women. Fat guys take last on the list. I was beat out for a lead position by a woman nearly a foot shorter and about fifty pounds heavier than me. Many successful female politicians, especially in other countries, have been noticeably overweight. The claim that people who aren’t conventionally attractive have to worry about it affecting their potential is a fair claim, but the claim that women exclusively who aren’t conventionally attractive have to worry about it isn’t fair.

    28. I disagree. I grew up watching fit, cut, ripped men. I see them everywhere in the media. Male models are all over the place in advertising. Action film stars are always crazy in shape. And women these days won’t even look at you if you’re twenty pounds overweight. There’s a whole alpha-male complex to it, if you aren’t the big ripped guy at the gym than you’re a loser. There is a huge amount of pressure to have be a man with an amazing body, a huge amount, and it sucks. I have made myself vomit on a regular basis trying to get to even a slightly attractive weight. I think the difference is that men don’t talk about it as much, don’t show that it eats away at them as much. They hide their feelings about it more.

    29. Male products cost less than female ones, yes. Admittedly, most women have more hair, so this is bound to happen. And I agree and think the expectation on the amount of work women feel like they have to do to themselves should be lower. I also think that many female cosmetics and toiletries are ridiculously overpriced, and it’s not right.

    30. I understand why you said that, but I personally don’t share that view. I think men who sleep with absurd numbers of people are repulsive. I think poorly of anyone with a ridiculous amount of sexual partners, male or female. But as usual, I’m an exception, not the norm.

    31. Okay, but a man can’t walk into a lingerie shop or a jewelry store without a female worker weaseling him out of more money than he planned because she can chat him up about what to buy for a woman since she is one. Some women can flirt their way into a man’s wallet, and some of those women do it as part of their job. Genders making assumptions about genders and using that to get more money is common for both sides. Also, I don’t know beans about cars. I’d like to point out that it’s a privilege for women that they don’t constantly have people assuming you know about cars and football, just because you are a man.

    32. We have neutral and feminine forms of nearly everything in existence. “Mailman” can and is often substituted with “Letter carrier”, “postal worker”, “mail carrier”, “mail woman”, and so on. This is also an issue that goes both ways. You cannot refer to a man that happens to be a “nurse” or “nanny” or “babysitter” or “model” without adding the word “male” as a prefix, whereas these titles on their own automatically imply woman, and have to be added to just to explain it’s a man.

    Also, it’s not really a privilege that “men” is a generalization for all genders when things like “all men are created equal” are said, since obviously it’s not referring to men, but humans, so our gender actually gets generalized and watered down to mean everything, instead of keeping it’s own identity of pertaining to men and men alone. This is not a privilege.

    33. I’m not really part of a religion, but I guess if I were, it’d be non-denominational Christianity, which means the head of my faith is God, who is a spiritual being, and is likely genderless, but referred to as a “He”, as the filler pronoun. Second to that is Christ, who happened to be a man in the Bible, and would be kind of the figurehead of Christianity, so you’re right in that sense. But there are tons of powerful, strong female persons that appear in the Bible as well, including several of my personal favorite Biblical figures.

    However, if you were referring to current, earthly leaders, then my group doesn’t have one. In fact, I have no clue whether most of the highest religious leaders are male or female, because I’m really not familiar with them, and I don’t think it would affect me either way, so for me, it’s certainly not a privilege.

    34. Uh, again, in my faith, women are constantly regarded quite highly, and it’s quite clear that men alone are nothing without them. The Bible itself is filled with powerful, revered women. And most Christian men are raised to believe that a woman is an equal partner to them, and that they are to share everything. Nowhere is it taught in my experience that women are worth less than men, that they are less spiritually significant than men, or that they are less mentally significant than men. It is outlined that men and women are different, usually in reference to that fact that women have the ability to bear children and be mothers, and men cannot. Although all the most revered women in the Bible were usually childless, or it wasn’t mentioned, so their worth is definitely not dependent upon their motherhood.

    35. Is that proven? I’ve never heard that. I interrupt everybody, I don’t feel like I interrupt women more than men. I don’t know how they even made a reliable enough case study to deduce that as a fact. Interesting. I don’t know that I’d consider it a privilege, either. Oh well.

  • Just Me

    Reading so very many of these comments makes my head hurt for the back and forth of everything. From what I know, have studied and have read – and even observed in smaller-scale situations – this “Men don’t tend to be abused by their female partners” concept is far, far, far too heavily believed and so very far from true. Agreeing with some who have been arguing, this is distinctly an area where females have the privilege of help available. This isn’t even something that can be managed by statistics, because stereotyping and gender-pressures have created a situation in which it is simply shameful for a male to confess to having been abused at all – much less by a woman. The support and awareness simply are left to the winds and I do hope this can be remedied as it’s something that can be seen clearly as early as high-school.

    Beyond that, another comment was made about suicide attempt / success rates and I need to be clear there, as well: Women far too often have the absolute pressure of responsibility on them as a preventative factor in suicide. It is ingrained not that they need to be a breadwinner for the family, but that they need to be an emotional and moral pole to hold the family together. On the verge of suicide are such thoughts as: “If I die now, who will take care of the kids / my siblings / those left behind?” “Is this selfish of me?” “Will other people blame themselves?”

    That is NOT to say that there are no men who would suffer the same such concerns, however it seems to be known well enough that women try to use less messy methods of committing suicide – consider why there, too: Who will have to clean this mess up? It’s not fair to them to make them clean it up. I don’t want to scar whoever might find me entirely. I’ve already been enough of a burden.

    Regardless of how people want to look at the situations, awareness is what really needs to be brought about. Awareness without outrage. People need to be able to sit and talk about these things without fear of persecution. Men are at a disadvantage there as they are far too often given the ‘sit down and shut up with all your emotional crap, you sissy’ treatment.

    Born a woman. Live as a woman. Endured my share of abuses. Lived for years on the brink of suicide. Speaking from personal experience… and from simply opening my eyes to see things going on around me.

  • Mary Ann

    Brilliant and where to start–33 & 34 were *best*.
    Adding to #31…or leered at.
    You won’t have to pay up to 3x to maintain your professional wardrobe at the dry cleaners–or your haircut/colour.
    You won’t have to remove most of the hair on your mammalian body, because society dictates it.
    You won’t have to pull your arms and legs together on public transit and in fact, you can take 2 seats and no one will say anything.
    You can take long, confident strides in your flat shoes–whether for work or play.
    You pretty much wear the same clothes you wore when you were 9.
    You will be a judge, not a “male” judge–male soccer player, male author…
    You can take up as much auditory and physical space as you like– you won’t be told to use your inside voice 1/2 as much as your female counterparts–training for them to take up less auditory and physical space.
    You will be considered automatically knowledgeable and be able to lecture/dominate conversations and have people trust/listen to you–more voiceovers for marketing are by men than women.
    No pressure to keep your name if you choose to be married.
    —-I think the biggest is, if you graduate college, you’ll earn, on average, about $700,000 more in your lifetime, as compared to your college-grad female peers.

  • mgs2ss

    6. You can expect to be paid equitably for the work you do, and not paid less because of your sex

    The U.S. Department of Labor has conclusively discovered that the wage gap has nothing to do with gender discrimination.

    10. Walk alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed

    Right, because us men are immune to robbery, rape, and all other forms of violence! It’s good to be invulnerable!

    11.Go on a date with a stranger without the fear of being raped

    I highly suggest you go and educate yourself about rape before you go spouting your mouth about things you have no clue about.
    http://www.aboutdaterape.nsw.gov.au/finding_help/guys_victims.html

    12. Dress how you want and not worry you it will be used as a defense if you are raped

    I know. This has been used as a successful defense in U.S. courts so many times!

    13. If you are straight, you are not likely to be abused by your partner, or to be told to continue living in an abusive household for your children

    Now we KNOW you are just unintelligent. Honestly, go do some research before you spout this nonsense.

    17. If you are straight and decide to have children with your partner, you can assume this will not affect your career

    RIIIIIIIIIIGHT. Because it is the 1940′s, and we aren’t expected to take care of the kids. Forget that many of us literally take years off of our lives, by working overnight jobs, so we can watch the kids in the day, as our partners go to college/work during the day.

    22. Your political officials fight for issues that pertain to your sex

    Really? REALLY? When was the last time you saw a bill fighting for men’s rights? Never. How about women’s? Every month? Yeah.

    23. You can ask for the “person in charge” and will likely be greeted by a member of your sex

    Depends on the field. If you ask for who is in charge at a supermarket, maybe. When you ask for “who is in charge” at your children’s school, however, most of the time it will be a woman. And she will treat you like a pedophile for having the audacity to be around children.

    24. As a child, you were able to find plenty of non-limiting, gender role stereotyped media to view

    Yeah, because as a male child, every TV show, movie, book, etc. wasn’t telling me to be a “manly man” and trying to brainwash me into joining the army when I got older.

    25. You can not care about your appearance without worrying about about being criticized at work or in social situations

    Good to know. I’ll stop shaving EVERY SINGLE DAY, stop showering, and see how long it is before I get fired. Maybe I’ll even last two days.

  • mgs2ss

    26. You can spend time on your appearance without having people criticizing you for upholding unhealthy gender norms

    No, we just get our sexual orientation and gender identity mocked or questioned.

    28. You are not pressured by peers and society to be thin as much as the opposite sex

    Oh, so I was just imagining all of the topless male models and actors with 0% body fat and insanely defined muscles. We aren’t pressured to look like that at all.

    31. You can go to a car dealership or mechanic and assume you’ll get a fair deal and not be taken advantage of

    Right. Because all men know so much about vehicles, and don’t get cheated at all.

    God damn, there are so many stupid things in this article that I just would never be able to respond.

  • mgs2ss

    Oh, and a counter-list to this one: http://www.wihe.com/printBlog.jsp?id=400

  • Archy

    “Walk alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed”
    Lol, do you actually know many men? Most men I know walk wolverine style with keys in their hand at night. Guess which gender is most likely to be physically attacked in public? MEN. In Australia men get 2x the number of assaults, worldwide violence kills up to 4x more men than women. Men may have less fear of rape, but men are FAR more likely to be assaulted physically (non-sexually, which is more likely for women) and more likely to be attacked by strangers. Which points out one of the female privileges – Women are less likely to be killed by violence than men.

  • K. C.

    Lots of these are outright false.

  • guesto

    If you are female, you will never be forced to die at 18 or 19 to protect your country. No one will ever even question your right to sleep nice and safe in your bed as young males are being slaughtered like cattle.

  • white_CIS_male

    the degree to which this is disgustingly wrong goes beyond comedy

  • idiotic article

    “Walk alone at night without the fear of being raped or otherwise harmed” Stopped reading there. Apparently I am invincible and can’t be harmed. So if that is true than males are definitely better than females I mean we can’t be harmed what else can you want?

  • Flincher

    In 5 and 35 my personal experience differs from the norm.

    (I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that I know my experiences are not the norm)

    I’m in a Bachelor of Social Work program, (having returned to school because an SSW diploma was useless for finding work) and I’ve noticed that issues of domestic abuse is taught, I’d say 99% of the time, from an incredibly one-sided angle, where you actually get told “we don’t have time to discuss male abuse so we’re not going to.” So most of the people doing social service work and social work in Canada are never even taught that males *can* be abused but we’re sure as hell taught we can/will abuse indiscriminately. This has actually made me less likely to contribute to class discussions because I’d be accused of “monopolizing the arena” but now it just looks like I don’t care about the issues. (This especially hits home for me because I was in an abusive relationship, because I wasn’t a virgin when that relationship started. A slut shamed abused man is something of an anomaly I suppose, doubly so when the plausibility of his existence is swept under the rug but I digress).

    This leads to a situation where you can have an all-male residential home for people with developmental disabilities without a male on staff because the education system has taught that men aren’t to be trusted with vulnerable populations. Now, I am all about holding myself accountable to my own privilege and by all means call me out in the probable case I’ve stepped on any toes here, but turning the tables is not creating equality.

  • One Woman’s Opinion

    I’m a straight woman but in terms of my politics I guess you could consider me queer. Now that I have that out of the way…on with the extract.
    I have very little to say about it, save that it sounds like a laundry list and almost as if it’s pointedly written for some sort of apology for straight men. I thinks a sociologically effected break down of the ‘why’ all this is so would better service people wen it comes to demanding change or pointing out for the need for one. Let’s start there:
    If it is pronounced Metrosexual, and you are a metrosexual man functioning within a group of friends who are largely metrosexual…then all that stuff you said about grooming goes out the window.
    The pressure to have kids or not to have kids when it comes to a man may be less where you live but I’m from India and a man choosing not to have a kid is usually pegged as one who can’t have them biologically. Infertility in men and women is just a brutal thing to go through. But, yes, the tendency is to assume that it’s the woman who is not fertile. Although, there is a wave of change but all that is still very, very nascent…so this stuff seems culture specific.
    But, it’s great that you’re writing about it and facilitating a dialogue!

  • Meg

    How depressing…

  • Jennifer Handijo Christianathe

    ANY AMOUNT OF BODY HAIR, IN ANY PLACE, IS ACCEPTABLE

    THE MEDIA HASNT SPENT DECADES TELLING YOU HOW YOUR BODY IS INFERIOR AND NEEDS COSMETIC SURGERY

  • ADThompson

    Your exercise with your class about how females either are treated, or
    feel they are treated in society, or how they feel they have to act in certain
    situations truly would have been eye opening for the males. However the way you
    speak and the way you refer and treat your male students is extremely sexist.
    You clearly have contempt for males in general. You won’t find many male
    teachers with such an open biased distain for their female students. Privilege
    works both ways. If a couple are walking together and get mugged, the mugger
    will focus all the violence on the male. Not only that but the female will
    expect the male to protect her ect. A situation much worse for males. Of course
    males are afraid to walk down dark alleys or through parks at night. To think
    otherwise is stupidity, and a good way to make it sound worse for females.
    Although females are more likely to be raped, that is a tiny percent of crime
    compared to males being mugged or just beat up for fun. There is much more of a
    chance of a female being escorted or driven home to completely avoid these
    situations than males. He would be insulted and mocked if he asked someone to
    walk him home. If a female is escorted home, she has every right to not invite
    the male in (rightly so) which then means he has to walk back again. ALONE. But
    I bet you think a male asking to escort a female home must mean he has terrible
    intentions and is terribly sexist. Females are treated much better by the
    courts in everyway. More forgiveness, understanding, compassion and much
    lighter sentences. Why don’t you ask your class who usually wins money,
    property and children in divorce cases. During a divorce if the husband has
    been in the wrong it goes against his case, a wife could sleep with an entire
    football team and it would have no effect on her case. In some states in
    America, courts can award ex wives Permanent Alimony. This means the husband
    has to pay the ex wife up to 40% of his wages FOREVER. Even in retirement the
    husband has to pay a percent of his social security but the wife keeps ALL of
    hers. These are just a few simple examples, there are plenty more. Law is set
    up to protect women and punish men. Feminists have no problem with this. How do
    expect any teenage boy to know what it’s like to arrange a schedule around the
    availability of a toilet? Are boys talked to about it, do girls even want boys
    to know. (I’m assuming this is to do with a girls menstrual cycle, I apologise
    if I am wrong). Remember having periods is a girls privilege to bare children.
    Next class why don’t you ask about female privilege. It’s mentioned about males
    privilege is not knowing you have it, But at the end of your post, when the
    males wanted to discuss the other side of the point you were trying to make,
    you acted like their side was meaningless. You seemed angry that you were
    forced to discuss men’s issues. How dare you treat anyone else’s feelings,
    opinions, life problems like a waste of time. You talk about how males don’t
    understand female concerns, but you your self aren’t even prepared to
    acknowledge that males might actually have concerns themselves. And that there
    valid. Your blinkered approach, mind set, and beliefs concerning life and
    privilege, male or female, is shocking to say the least, it’s biased,
    inaccurate, pig headed and above all uneducated. Your are one of them male
    students who couldn’t understand life from a female perspective. The ones you
    look down on. Next class instead of berating the males and encouraging the
    females why don’t you try teaching your students (and yourself) both sides of
    the question of privilege.

    I Have included a list of female privilege, perhaps you should ask your class
    and see how many females mention items of female privilege. Maybe they males
    won’t seem as ignorant when the females show the same lack of knowledge. You
    asked a very complex and stacked question and used it to admonish, embarrass

    and judge every male in your class. Prove me wrong. Ask my questions on female
    privilege (fairly) to your class and show how in the know of their privilege
    females are. Or accept privilege is a two way street.

    http://mensresistance.wordpress.com/female-privilege-checklist/

  • ADThompson

    I wanted to apologise for the way I worded some of my last comment. I admit whilst I was writing I thought I was addressing a woman. My points are still valid and true, I just wanted to clear it up. Apologies again.

  • ADThompson

    People have mentioned the lack of paragraphs in long posts, so I thought I would re-post, making it easier to read.

    Your exercise with your class about how females either are treated, or
    feel they are treated in society, or how they feel they have to act in certain
    situations truly would have been eye opening for the males.

    However the way you speak and the way you refer and treat your male students is extremely sexist and disturbing.

    You clearly have contempt for males in general. You won’t find many male
    teachers with such an open biased distain for their female students. Privilege
    works both ways. If a couple are walking together and get mugged, the mugger
    will focus all the violence on the male. Not only that but the female will
    expect the male to protect her etc. A situation much worse for males.

    Of course males are afraid to walk down dark alleys or through parks at night. To think
    otherwise is stupidity, and a good way to make it sound worse for females.

    Although females are more likely to be raped, that is a tiny percent of crime
    compared to males being mugged or just beat up for fun. There is much more of a
    chance of a female being escorted or driven home to completely avoid these
    situations than males. He would be insulted and mocked if he asked someone to
    walk him home. If a female is escorted home, she has every right to not invite
    the male in (rightly so) which then means he has to walk back again. ALONE. But
    I bet you think a male asking to escort a female home must mean he has terrible
    intentions and is terribly sexist.

    Females are treated much better by the courts in everyway. More forgiveness, understanding, compassion and enjoy much lighter sentences for same crimes. Why don’t you ask your class who usually wins money, property and children in divorce cases. During a divorce if the husband has been in the wrong it goes against his case, a wife could sleep with an entire
    football team and it would have no effect on her case.

    In some states in America, courts can award ex wives Permanent Alimony. This means the husband has to pay the ex wife up to 40% of his wages FOREVER. Even in retirement the
    husband has to pay a percent of his social security but the wife keeps ALL of
    hers. These are just a few simple examples, there are plenty more.

    Law is set up to protect women and punish men. Feminists, of course, have no problem with this.

    How do expect any teenage boy to know what it’s like to arrange a schedule around the
    availability of a toilet? Are boys talked to about it, do girls even want boys
    to know. (I’m assuming this is to do with a girls menstrual cycle, I apologise
    if I am wrong). Remember having periods is a girls privilege to bare children.

    Next class why don’t you ask about female privilege. It’s mentioned about males
    privilege is not knowing you have it, But at the end of your post, when the
    males wanted to discuss the other side of the point you were trying to make,
    you acted like their side was meaningless. You seemed angry that you were
    forced to discuss men’s issues. How dare you treat anyone else’s feelings,
    opinions, life problems like a waste of time. You talk about how males don’t
    understand female concerns, but you your self aren’t even prepared to
    acknowledge that males might actually have concerns themselves. And that there
    valid.

    Your blinkered approach, mind set, and beliefs concerning life and privilege, male or female, is shocking to say the least, it’s biased, inaccurate, pig headed and above all uneducated.

    Your are one of them male students who couldn’t understand life from a female perspective. The ones you look down on.

    Next class instead of berating the males and encouraging the females why don’t you try teaching your students (and yourself) both sides of the question of privilege.

    I Have included a list of female privilege, perhaps you should ask your class
    and see how many females mention items of female privilege. Maybe they males
    won’t seem as ignorant when the females show the same lack of knowledge. You
    asked a very complex and stacked question and used it to admonish, embarrass
    and judge every male in your class. Prove me wrong. Ask my questions on female
    privilege (fairly) to your class and show how in the know of their privilege
    females are. Or accept privilege is a two way street.

    http://mensresistance.wordpress.com/female-privilege-checklist/

  • jim

    Some of these are true but to be fair the pay gap between men and women is only caused by the jobs women take up more often. There are less women in industries like engineering, building, mining, farming, computer science, etc, while there are more in things like retail and food service. Because these jobs are often more difficult and specialized they are usually payed more. Despite special groups set up for women in things like engineering there is still a lack of them in the industry, but i’m sure they’ll catch up eventually.

  • Holly Hayes

    37. You can be disagree or be angry with someone and you opinion is taken as valid instead of as a testament to what time of the month it is.

    38. You can say things that are ridiculous or blatantly untrue without the validity of your opinion being questioned based on your gender (ex. “Bitches are crazy”, “All girls are liars”, etc.).

    39. If you say that you work somewhere like a hospital, law firm or a restaurant, most people will automatically assume that you are the one in charge or with the most important or relevant job (doctor, lawyer, chef) rather than the one with the supportive or side-line job (nurse, secretary, server).

    40. If you say that you are interested in stereotypically “nerdy” pastimes, such as comic books, playing guitar, fantasy, science fiction, or video games, your interest in it will not be questioned, and nobody will try to “test” you to assuage the validity of your interest, or accuse you of only being into them to “get attention”.

  • James

    I find this kind of insulting as a male. When I was at school, I was bullied for being too thin, too effeminate. We had to play male-oriented sports like rugby in the freezing cold while the girls got to go inside because it was too much. Males were expected to just grin and bear it. People tell guys to act like men and be strong, be big, work out. You would never see a girl get treated the way I was treated as a male.

    So, no, I feel that being a male isn’t always a privilege – unless you fit in.

    • Greg L?rincz

      Same here James. reading the list I wish I was this imaginary privileged male. This list is a fucking insulting. I grew up in poverty, have suffered from mental health issues all my life and everything is a struggle for me, like getting or even keeping a job or to have a healthy relationship. It’s lazy and ignorant to assume that all males are privileged. And indeed, ever since we’re born, we’re told to man up. I’ve been bullied at school for not being an athletic kind and being sensitive. Fuck you Sam!

  • Bill

    To be fair though, everyone gets fucked over by their mechanics

  • bobowitz

    so every other post is about a “feminist” pointing out another male “privilige” I want you to stop that, and think. why are you pointing out these priviliges? as a male, they only make me and others feel attacked. is it out of some twisted revenge fantasy? attacking features that we, even as men, are not responsible for? that, in fact, it is only the few that cause these things to be true? but instead, you attack men as a whole, make them feel guilty, and expect them to act contrite. protip, if you want people on your side, thats a *bad* thing to do, and by doing this you are proving a couple of stereotypes yourself.

  • Bert27

    Being able to walk alone in the dark is the opposite of male privilege, its been pointed out that men are more likely to become victims of violent crime than women, particularly by strangers, so this is obviously an irrational feeling for men to have and not privilege. I believe this is bad for both genders, women have been the victims of fear mongering their whole lives and are terrified to leave their homes while men have been told they can go anywhere and be safe when that is simply not true. Men would also feel emasculated taking precautions, we all think we’re the toughest people in the world and no one would mess with us but it is simply not true. 13 is nonsense as well, if you are a straight woman you are not likely to be abused by a partner, in any case both men and women suffer from domestic violence at roughly the same rates. As a man if I was being abused by my partner I would never report it out of shame. The children ones were very true though, men who take care of their children are almost seen as heroic while women who do the same are just doing the bare minimum. Also men who abandon there children will face less hostility than women who do the same.

  • KeepinIt1hun

    How do you have a job? … writing articles?

  • jjj

    #5 and #7 aren’t a good thing, lol! That would mean there’s something ACTUALLY wrong with you! And most of the rest of these seem to be from the 1950s, or are just totally minor things… like people talking a little shit about you, or questioning your choices. Who cares, that happens to everyone.

    I’m female by the way.

  • Selvi

    Men are not expected to change their names when they get married.

  • Sam

    Many of these are not real privileges or ar really stretched. I address only one for semplicity. 10: Nobody who has a sound head on her/his shoulders should think that s/he’s safe at nights alone because of her/his sex. Are you saying criminals harm only women? Come on….

  • tessf

    Actually, women abuse men in marriage about as much as the reverse as far as I know. Many men are taught very well that they may not hit back, or may just be less assertive than their spouses, so it happens, and apparently frequently. One also has to allow for female privilege here – not many men can easily admit that they are physically or emotionally abused, because “boys don’t cry”, so males can’t report abuse as easily (it’s not easy for either, but worse for men) . As a woman, I am becoming more aware of female privilege.

  • Mhm

    Male privilege is being able to walk around shirtless and not be called a slut

  • DC

    I’m sorry but was this written by a woman? I’m a white male and can attest to having to deal with at least half of these problems… Sexual harassment in the workplace? Big time. When I was the manager at a restaurant I’d get hit on constantly by women trying to get their way through flattery, not to mention one girl, to whom I made it quite clear I wanted nothing to do with, would consistently make uncomfortable comments about my body and the way I looked. No person should have to endure that crap when working. Then, the women managers in that place would consistently flirt with the store manger to get better hours, time off etc. And then I’d be the one dealing with the shit after they had whipped my stupid ass of a boss into a nutless drooling dog.

    So, all of those gender stereotypes about women being treated unfairly in the workplace are crap – women are treating THEMSELVES unfairly in the workplace, and THAT’S the problem. Think of it this way – In a society where women are being told they have no chance at good work because of their sex, they are clearly going to react to that in a multitude of ways. The first, obviously being the description of my own personal experience. Where women literally bring themselves down to the status of a sexual object to get further in a career, and another being with getting the job in the first place…

    We constantly hear about how women have less employment opportunities because of sexual bias. How about considering that maybe women MISS more opportunities because they don’t have the confidence needed to conduct a good interview. For example, if a man walks in thinking he’s got it in the bag (which – let’s be honest – most of us cocky assholes do). He’s clearly going to do well, as he’s not worrying, and he’s coming off as calm and collected. Now let’s put a woman of equal credentials in that exact same position. Because of the years of being force-fed bullshit about how employers are sexist, she will likely do one of three things.

    A) If she buys into that crap, she’s might obsess over it, worrying about every little thing she does as if one false move could be the bomb that stops her dead in her tracks, and obviously, as a result is going to seem a little off, maybe nervous, maybe side-tracked – either way, neither of these is a “positive quality” to show in an interview and THIS in itself may be the reason that woman missed out on an opportunity.

    B) If she buys into that crap, she might use it to her advantage – trying to play up her “assets” to entice a male employer. If the employer is a pervert – which unfortunately, a lot are – this tactic is going to get her a job, but a complete lack of respect as a human being, or if the employer is a male, but actually has a brain, he’s going to see it for what it really is – a cheap ploy to attract his attention – and dismiss her completely based on the fact that she’s unprofessional.

    or finally…

    C) She’s going to ignore all the prejudiced nonsense, march in there with her head held high and a smile on her face, absolutely own the interview and earn a job because she did such a damn good job that the employer can’t find a reason NOT to hire her.

    But I want you to be completely honest and ask yourself how often you think the last option actually happens? How often do you think that young women – who have grown up being told they won’t get the job because they are a woman – are actually going to be able to ignore all of these “What-Ifs” flying around in their heads? I remember being told all throughout high school by one of my “friends” (at the time) that I was ugly. The guy told me consistently. Obviously I struggled with some self-esteem issues because of that, simply because what he said played over and over again in my head. Once I finally realized that I didn’t need anyone else to tell me what was what and started making my mind up for myself, I developed my confidence – and have been called out as very attractive on numerous occasions now. It just goes to show how much words can hurt and how much living by those words can hurt more. If I had never developed any confidence, I would still be avoiding approaching a beautiful woman in a cafe, and I would STILL be attributing it to my “ugliness”, digging the hole deeper and deeper and deeper.

    If women really want to get somewhere, they have to stop listening to all of these stupid things, pull up their socks, get out there and take what is rightfully theirs, and not take no as an answer. When women as a whole can do that, they’ll have the confidence they need to take over a lot of top positions on the job market right now – in a decent, dignified way that actually empowers them as human beings, not just women.

  • Colers

    Let me chop this list up:

    1. I call being able to use my gender as an excuse for a bad mood a privilege. 1 example of female privilege

    2. Depends. if the spendings go towards a women, then he will be judged on it by base of his gender. and with women the same goes only for appearance. both have the exact same privilege if you count those out

    3. Again, that your driving behavior can be excused by the fact that you are a women, is a privilege. i do not call taking direct responsibility for bad driving a privilege. 2 examples of female privilege already.

    4. can they? How do you know? and this again is not even a privilige. we do not have the right to be confident any more than women have the right to be paranoid against it

    5. How the fck is having no excuse for never being promoted a privilege. again, how can anyone be so ignorant to see the fact that someone cannot hide behind excuses as a privilige for that person. again, this is an example of female privilege. that makes 3.

    6. pay inequity is a long-since debunked myth. step off it, feminist. a non-biased study has shown that when taking in account all the factors, only 4.8 cents out of a dollar went unaccounted for.

    7. this is simply point 5 from the female perspective.

    8. indeed, that is a privilege we do have. 1 privilege against 3 at this moment

    9. i see guys constantly getting harrassed by girls. but you know, when a girl does it, we just consider it as flattery. a women can sexually harass a men for days on work and nobody bats an eye. women have that privilege, and of course the privilege to be accepted as victims when it happens. men do not have this privilege. that is 2 male privileges versus 5 female

    10. oh, i love this one. if i look at the graph for victims of violent crimes, males have a significantly bigger part in it than women. so riddle me this: is one group paranoid beyond need, or the other more comfortable than he should be.

    11. If you date a complete stranger, you should be paranoid. unregarding of gender. is it really a privilege to feel comfortable near people you should be wary of?

    12. i am going to be plain honest here: in the end, the perpetrator is the guilty one. i do need to say, that it is probaly a bad idea to dress suggestively and go to a place where men go to get sex. that is basicly maximising all the factors for rape probability that are in your own control. get drunk and all the factors you control are maximised.

    13. http://www.oneinthree.com.au/ please, shuddup. 1 out of 3 dv victims is male, whereas popular belief would place it on 1 out of 15. men however, do not have that what women have: the privilege to have dv reports taken seriously and get shelter against your abusive spouse.

    current score: 3-6

    14. a rather malformed point. women can also do this without having their masculinity questioned. but i grant it to you. 4-6

    15. I cannot recall anyone in a western country demanding women to be full-time caretakers. part time is often expected. and honestly, whether it is the man or the women; you get a kid, then it is your duty to raise it. additionally, i think that having it being socially accepted for someone to invest all their time into their kids, is more a privilige than it is not. i applaud anyone who puts the importance of raising their children above that of their own career. i keep this one neutral

    16. actually, women who balance home and work are not called selfish. it is the social norm nowadays.

    17. It will actually affect your career if you give as much as a single fck about your children. though women have to make more of them, men too have to sacrifice some of their career to care for their children.

    18. What, do we suspect angela merkel doing this? or margaret thatcher? no. we reserve this for people like Kim Kardashian of who all we ever see is her showing of a pretty face. if we see people working hard, we do not suspect them of this. And if we see a men being only pretentious, we asume he either blackmailed his way into succes or got his title on a silver platter.

    19. again, i bring up the 2 most succesful female politicians in europe. cannot recall their gender being related to their political platform

    20. paparazzi is not gender exclusive. they slander anyone who they can slander.

    21. how is that even a privilege?

    22. honestly, women have more right to that privilege than men. i rarely see the 1 in 3 statistic done by politics. feminism is a lot more present in politics than its male rights counterpart. i am not going to count this as a female privilege, because this is just misinformation on part of the OP.

    23. If you think this is a privilege, then you are sexist for thinking it matters. you ask for the person in charge, not a bloody bff

    24. Happily ignoring homerfication in which males are often shown as incompetent being unable to do even the simplest of domestic tasks without the help of a capable women.

    25. absolute bull. If a man does not take care of himself, he is looked down upon. just as much as women who do not take care of themselves.

    26. again bull, when someone showers in the morning and evening each day, many will convict him of that very thing.

    27. depends on the situation.

    28. yes, men instead are peer-pressured to be muscular.

    29. again, women have an excuse for such behavoir, and generally nobody cares if they do not. excuses = privileges. 4-7

    30. admittidly, yes. but lets look at the difference between a man flirting with a women and vice versa. if a man does it, he needs to walk over a thin line, and if he steps of it, it is often met with disgust and even a hit in the face. if a women does it, she basicly has no code to adhere to and even if the sexual attention is unwanted by the male, the man just has to put up with it or risk having everyone belittling his masculinity. so having a men succesfully seduce a women is a significantly harder task than the opposite situation. one shows a extreme knowledge of women, along with excelent communication skills, while the other really does not prove anything. the ability to earn something is looked up to, the ability to give away something is not. and though it might be disgraceful to call nymphomaniacs sluts, the logic as to why we do not call males this is rather sound. but i have to remain honest: 5-7

    31. anyone thinking that he or she can go to a car mechanic or dealer without being fcked over, is an idiot. it happens to everyone.

    32. again, i cannot see the privilege in this. is the fact that metaphors have more connection to you than to someone else a privilege? and both examples you listed are english-sensitive. they are not like that in my langauge. invalid argument when talking about all men.

    33. again, what does that directly give someone as a privilege. a privilege is a personal right. being represented might be a privilege, but the religous leaders represent the religion, and all the believers beneath it.

    34. You would have an argument if you formulated it as religion seeing men as better instead of seeing women as worse. NOT seeing yourself as worse is not a privilege.

    35. care to be more exact?

    So in the end we have a whole bunch of malformed statements that admit to more female privilege than male. on all other areas, the only way you can see a privilege is if you only look at the problems of women (like all feminists classicly do).

  • Monaka der Hund

    I know this is a comedy act, so I guess this list shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but please. At least half of what you say here is ridiculous. Let’s stick to the real issues, shall we? Glass ceiling, rape, rape victim blaming, all very true and important. But you water them down with laughable points like 24, gender-role stereotyped media. Isn’t that true for both sexes, if true at all? And woman politicians need to have their sex as platform (19)? Really? What about Bachman and Palin, for example?

    Hey, I have a few points of female privilege. You can cry in public without anybody laughing at you. You can wear skirts or jeans in public without getting noticed. You can paint your face and nails without people snickering around you. You are not expected to be your family’s bread winner. Are these points valid? About as much as most of yours I’d say.