Social Justice Advocates Handbook: A Guide to Gender Understanding

30+ Examples of Heterosexual Privilege in the US

by Sam Killermann · 106 comments

in Privilege Lists,Sexuality

"Fired for Gay" Comic

Following is a list of 29 a bunch of examples (ever-growing) of heterosexual privilege.  If you are straight (or in some cases, perceived to be), you can live without ever having to think twice, face, confront, engage, or cope with anything listed below.  These privileges are granted to you, and many of them are things you’ve likely taken for granted.  (Otherwise known as the “Why it’s easier to be straight” list.)

Think you can add something to the list?  Leave any more examples you know of in the comments below!

  1. Immediate access to your loved one in case of accident or emergency.
  2. Public recognition and support for an intimate relationship (e.g., congratulations for an engagement).
  3. Expressing affection in most social situations and not expecting hostile or violent reactions from others.
  4. Living with your partner and doing so openly.
  5. Expressing pain when a relationship ends from death or separation and receiving support from others.
  6. Receiving social acceptance by neighbors, colleagues, and good friends.
  7. Learning about romance and relationships from fiction movies and television.
  8. Having role models of your gender and sexual orientation.
  9. Having positive and accurate media images of people with whom you can identify.
  10. Expecting to be around others of your sexuality most of the time. Not worrying about being the only one of your sexuality in a class, on a job, or in a social situation.
  11. Talking openly about your relationship, vacations, and family planning you and your lover/partner are doing.
  12. Easily finding a neighborhood in which residents will accept how you have constituted your household.
  13. Raise, adopt, and teach children without people believing that you will molest them or force them into your sexuality.
  14. Working in traditionally male or female dominated job and not feeling as though you are a representative of your sexuality.
  15. Paid leave from employment when grieving the death of your spouse.
  16. Not being asked “how does sex work for you?” or other too-personal questions by strangers.
  17. Sharing health, auto and homeowners’ insurance policies at reduced rates.
  18. Not having to hide or lie about women/men only social activities.
  19. Acting, dressing, or talking as you choose without it being a reflection on people of your sexuality.
  20. The ability to teach about lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals without being seen as having a bias because of your sexuality or forcing a “homosexual agenda” on students.
  21. Property laws, filing joint tax returns, inheriting from your spouse automatically under probate laws.
  22. Joint child custody.
  23. Going wherever you wish and know that you will not be harassed, beaten, or killed because of your sexuality.
  24. Not worrying about being mistreated by the police or victimized by the criminal justice system because of your sexuality.
  25. Legal marriage to the person you love.
  26. Knowing that your basic civil rights will not be denied or outlawed because some people disapprove of your sexuality.
  27. Expect that your children will be given texts in school that support your kind of family unit and they will not be taught that your sexuality is a “perversion.”
  28. Freedom of sexual expression without fear of being prosecuted for breaking the law.
  29. Belonging to the religious denomination of your choice and know that your sexuality will not be denounced by its religious leaders.
  30. Knowing that you will not be fired from a job or denied a promotion based on your sexuality.
  31. [leave a comment below with another example!]
Items added by readers:
  • Not being asked by your child’s school to only send one parent to “back to school” night as to not upset the other parents by having two same-sex partners in the class together.
  • The ability to play a professional sport and not worry that your athletic ability will be overshadowed by your sexuality and the fact that you share a locker room with the same gender.
  • Not having to worry about being evicted if your landlord finds out about your sexuality.
  • Not having to “come out” (explain to people that you’re straight, as you can just assume they will assume it)
  • Knowing that people aren’t going to mutter about your sexuality if you come out to them.
  • Knowing that being open with your sexuality isn’t going to change how people view you.
  • Straight people can live anywhere in the world and find people like themselves, but gay people are limited geographically. Even if the people in more rural areas aren’t homophobic, living in a low-density population means social isolation, lack of a dating pool, etc. for queer folks. Even among urban areas, there’s only a few cities in the world, relatively speaking, where gay people can live openly and without too much fear.
  • Being able to have your partner from a different country be able to obtain citizenship in your country through marriage.
  • Not having people think your sexuality is a mental health issue
  • Not having to think about if your kid’s friends parents will flip out when they pick their kid up from a play date and are greeted by same-sex parents
  • Not having to worry that people won’t let their children play with your children because of your sexuality.
  • Not having to worry where you can move alone or with your spouse and have equal job opportunities abroad.
  • Being able to move abroad with your children without sudden changes of your legal status, possibly even having the chance of losing your children this way.

Thanks to BGSU’s Safe Zone Program for the beginnings of this list.

Written by Sam Killermann

Sam is a writer and performer who uses those skills as an ally to advance progress in the realms of LGBT equality and social justice. He tours the country speaking to college students about stereotypes, prejudice, and oppression, and writes for this site when he's at home in Austin, TX.

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  • Didyoureallylook

    Not being asked by your child’s school to only send one parent to “back to school” night as to not upset the other parents by having two same-sex partners in the class together.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Added!  Thanks for sharing and for reading!

  • Spectrum

    Knowing that people aren’t going to mutter about your sexuality if you come out to them.

    Knowing that being open with your sexuality isn’t going to change how people view you.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Two great ones.  Added to the list!

  • obv

    Not having to come out….

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Quite obv.  Thanks for pointing it out!

  • http://twitter.com/thelonious42 Thelonious Q Lemons

    Not having to worry about being evicted if your landlord finds out about your sexuality.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Added!  Thanks for sharing and for reading, Thelonious!

  • Jeremy Phillips86

    The ability to play a professional sport and not worry that your athletic ability will be overshadowed by your sexuality and the fact that you share a locker room with the same gender.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Added!  Thanks for sharing and for reading, Jeremy!

  • Blah

    Here’s an important one! Straight people can live anywhere in the world and find people like themselves, but gay people are limited geographically. Even if the people in more rural areas aren’t homophobic, living in a low-density population means social isolation, lack of a dating pool, etc. for queer folks. Even among urban areas, there’s only a few cities in the world, relatively speaking, where gay people can live openly and without too much fear.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      That’s a very important one.  Thanks for sharing, and for reading!

  • guest

    Being able to have your partner from a different country be able to obtain citizenship in your country through marriage

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Fantastic.  I’ll add it immediately.  Thanks for sharing!

  • Meg

    Not having to think about if your kid’s friends parents will flip out when they pick their kid up from a play date and are greeted by same-sex parents–related, not having to worry that people won’t let their children play with your children because of your sexuality.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Two solid additions that didn’t even pop into my mind (I guess not having to worry about that might be a not-having-children privilege)

  • Jen

    Not having people think your sexuality is a mental health issue

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Added!  Even it it’s not in the GSM, it’s still a widely-held belief.  Thanks for sharing, Jen!

      • cherisea

        *DSM :)

  • Sueboyd3

    All of the above, but including sexual identity, not just sexual orientation (trans folks).

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Do you think they would be suitable additions to the cisgender privilege list?  http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/

  • lohtar

    Not having to worry, being an expat, where you can move alone or with your spouse and have equal job opportunities abroad.
    Also, when you have children in your native country, being able to move abroad together with your children without sudden changes of your legal status, possibly even having the chance of losing your children this way.

    Something currently on my radar causing a lot of concern and really blocks an extreme amount of options in life.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks, Lohtar!  I’ll add it to the list.

  • Spokanite

    Can’t be held in contempt of court for refusing to testify against your spouse

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Can you explain this one a bit more?  It’s a new one to me.  Thanks for sharing.

      • Anonymous

        If you’re legally married, the court cannot force you to testify against your spouse. It’s called spousal privilege.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501439595 Evan C. Paul

          I’ve never quite understood why this privilege exists, honestly.

          • Kit

            I believe it’s meant to be much like doctor-patient confidentiality. a spouse has a reasonable expectation of privacy when it comes to things they’ve said in court and so with spousal privilege, it keeps the other from blabbing your painful secrets for the world to hear and also protects both parties from slander from a very angry soon-to-be ex. at least, that’s how I understand it.

  • Anonymous

    You should make a Google+ page and a Tumblr for the diagrams.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Tumblr is a great idea.  Can you make “pages” on Google+?  Last time I checked in on that Google+ wasn’t friendly in that way.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Tumblr is up and running! http://actuallymetro.tumblr.com

      Thanks for the suggestion!

  • Aldkfejek

    listening to drunks talk about their gay-dar

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  • Guest12

    If you have HIV (like I do) and people assume you contracted it from gay sex, or that gays pass it on.

    Related but better : Being able to donate blood (get rid of that dumb rule, Red Cross!)

    • Chris

      I realize I’m a year late on this, but it’s not the Red Cross’s fault! It’s the FDA. The Red Cross would be breaking the (unjust) law on a grand scale if they allowed us to donate blood. In other countries they accept blood from MSM.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scott-Rose/655434671 Scott Rose

    Not having asshole tyrannical theocRAT gay-bashing bigots allege that giving you your rights would result in the downfall of civilization.

    • gayinmaine

      you ARE AMAZING

  • William

    The ability for my partner to have me as a tax deduction on his income taxes. 

  • Sofia Ben-Hur

    The freedom to use a public bathroom or locker room without fear that people will assume you’re “checking them out”

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  • CureEndo

    This is excellent! Could we re-word the title though, to include gender….gender norms perhaps?

  • charliequin

    Not being afraid that someone might kill you because there’s less repercussions if they can prove you’re gay. Or that if someone killed you you know they’ll be properly sentenced. (Thanks Australian Gay Panic Defence)

  • e

    I think if you were perceived to be heterosexual, you may not be receiving the benefits of heterosexual privilege, so much as passing privilege…

    • Guest

      I disagree and I am tired of hearing this. This only applies if you are bi- or pansexual because you can be in a heterosexual relationship and actually enjoy it. That’s not how it works for gay people. Gay people aren’t “passing” when they are in straight relationships, they are repressing/hiding their sexuality. The thing to remember is, it can actually be painful for a gay person to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex(If I’ve understood the concept of bisexuality correctly, it shouldn’t be painful in the same way…not because of the gender alone anyway). You can’t choose to be gay just like you can’t choose to be bisexual. Bisexuals are at least able to identify with two-gendered relationships, which are the norm (not taking into account the “my partner might be trans” thing, which doesn’t make much sense and mostly isn’t true anyway). Not trying to play opression-olympics, just trying to point something out in order to create more understanding. Don’t know how to explain what I feel but, I wouldn’t be passing in a two-gendered/two-sexed relationship, I would be hiding and suffering. No gay person talks about his or her passing privilege while in a two-gendered relationship. Can bisexuals honestly say they feel this way, that they would be suffering in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex? If not then, therein lies the difference. (Bisexuals do indeed have passing privilege).

      • Guest

        I think that came off as more agressive than I wanted, strike “i am tired of hearing this”.

        • Guest

          and I also regret writing “the concept of bisexuality”, should say bisexuality.

          • Jenny

            As a bisexual woman in a heterosexual relationship, I suppose I do have some of the “advantages” of being able “pass” as straight… but it’s still just that: passing. If I try to be open about my sexuality (e.g., “out”), my straight friends respond like I’m telling them I have a foot fetish or I’m into anal sex. I get invited to girls night with girlfriends of my male friends, because apparently, it’s threatening for me to hang out with friends that I’ve known for over five years — but not their girlfriends, who I am equally likely to be attracted to. I get the choice between being honest and being included. Within the LGBTQ community, I risk getting questioned about whether I could ever “really” date a woman or accused of wanted attention. I have to continually defend the fact that bisexuality is a real thing. And on both ends, I miss out on the sense of community that you get by being either gay or straight.

            I don’t suffer by being in a relationship with an opposite sex partner, but I do suffer for a lack of honesty. And it seems that, for some reason, my desire to talk honestly about the way I experience the world is negated by the fact that other people may be facing more difficult challenges. I can definitely recognize that the need to come out is much more pressing for someone who could only be happy in a same sex relationship — but I think “coming out” is a much more socially accept course of actions for someone who identifies as gay than bisexual. I don’t want to start the oppression Olympics… I just want a chance to share my experiences without being accused of jeopardizing someone else’s shot at equality.

            Just my two cents.

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  • Kathleen

    Not ever being told that your sexuality doesn’t exist, isn’t real, or that you aren’t what you identify as based on any previous statements you’ve made. (I’m asexual)

    • kaitalli

      I get the same thing, being bisexual.

      • SamSamson

        “That’s not a sexuality, you’re just greedy.” — a gay friend of mine to a bi friend of mine. Bisexuals seem to get the prejudice from both ends at times.

        • Maika

          Yes, I’ve had much more hostility from gay people who I don’t know very well. I’m bisexual/pansexual. My gay friends, hetero-friends, bi-friends, whatever they want to be friends are much better about it. I suppose that is why they are my friends. :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Hall/731841850 Sarah Hall

      I don’t normally even bring up my asexuality (it’s no one’s business, really) but if someone DOES know, “Is that even real?” is almost always the first question asked. I also get a lot of “You’ve just never met the ‘right’ person”, or they take it as some sort of personal challenge.

  • Justaround

    Not having to hear things like, “you’re being too sensitive,” when you confront homophobia.

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  • Naevitus

    Not having people make assumptions about your sexuality and using them in small-chat (eg. “So, do you have a girlfriend?” when you DO in fact have a boyfriend).

    • Tom

      I’m not sure this is a negative, really. If people are making assumptions that means they are not judging. They’re not over-analyzing the situation. They’re just talking.

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  • anon

    Being able to have legal custody rights to your child if you and your partner split up.

  • Munch

    Being able to start dating earlier, especially in more conservative areas.

  • http://twitter.com/NoGoodReasons Nathan

    Not having to validate your relationship as being romantic and not just sexual.

  • Star

    Not worrying that your children will be bullied at school because of their parents sexuality.

  • Nathan

    Planning a vacation without wondering if where you are going is a place where you will still be considered married (or, in the case of another country, whether you yourself are simply illegal for being who you are.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/john.w.beck John W Beck

    How about the thousands of state & Federal benefits (social security survivor benefits for instance) that heterosexuals just get – no questions asked – and that foul so-called “defense” of marriage act denies to queer couples.

  • Kit

    not having your morals/family values placed into question because of your sexuality and not having people threaten to kidnap your children for ‘their safety’(more of a reference to the preacher who said we need a underground railroad for children of same-sex couples to ‘save them from their abusive homes’) feel free to re-word that one. I’m not sure how to word that one.

  • Katie

    Oh it is such a great feeling when the two places you have lived most of your life is the darkest orange. :/

  • http://www.facebook.com/elleinad32 Danielle Handley

    The gays are trying wipe out hetrosexuality thats why they were pesicuted and the gays will persicute the hetros and women will be turned into baby farms, i hope your sexuality is fun

    • Chris

      We’re also going to kick your puppies and lick your popsicles! Once we get rid of all the heteros, we’ll have finally achieved our goal of the destruction of the human race! It’s true! We weren’t persecuted because of irrational religious beliefs or self-righteous hatred of anyone different, we were persecuted because you smart little traditionally baked cookies figured out we were going to take over the world! AND WE WILL! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

      All this, AND our sexuality is more fun than yours! In your FACE!

      • Roz4real

        You made me laugh. Not fair. I wanted to yell at the bigot.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sarah-Hall/731841850 Sarah Hall

    Not being asked if you are even capable of emotions. (Asexual)
    Obviously this happens across the gender spectrum, but I feel like the moment I say “asexual”, people take it as a personal challenge to prove that I’m not. And if I make sexual jokes (because they are funny, especially when you include the irony), people go A HA, YOU LIE

  • SpreadtheSunshine

    I absolutely love this website; I’ve spent all day reading it instead of doing homework . . .

    Basically, I was wondering why there aren’t more posts about asexuality. In your genderbread person, I noticed that asexuality was on there and that made me very happy. But I haven’t noticed anything else (other than in a few comments) on asexuality, the privileges associated with being sexual, or assumptions that people make about sexuality.

    As somebody who is asexual and often feels ignored, both by the people I interact with every day and activist types, it would be nice to see inclusion in a site that aims to be all-inclusive. I often don’t feel “queer enough to be queer,” but I don’t identify as straight either.

    Just a suggestion — I think that you do a great job and I have loved using this site to check my privileges.

    Thank you for reading my thoughts, and for doing great work!

    • Vanity

      I agree with this, and would like to add that if asexuality is addressed, a distinction should be made between the romantic aspect and the sexual aspect. Some of us have romantic feelings (like me) and some don’t, and I believe it’s a spectrum just like any other aspect of sex/gender/etc. (Now that I look at it, the genderbread person actually doesn’t address this, which doesn’t surprise me, because I don’t think it’s something sexual people are generally aware of.)

      Too often people have a tendency to assume that asexuality means a lack of attraction, period. Or else it becomes more of a joking thing, implying that asexuality is just choosing not to date or have sex.

  • Ivy

    Being able to travel freely to any country of your choice and not be discriminated against, persecuted or killed.

  • Bella

    Not having to worry about legal custody of your children after a break up. (my mothers split up and they both have custody over my sister and I, but due to a law change before my other sister was born only her birth mother has custody over her)

  • Rytjie

    Having true friends and not being treated like an accessory because of being gay. You meet friendly people and you realise you just there to get the quotas right. ‘My gay friends will also be coming’

  • Nicole

    I’m hecterosexual and I have never discriminated against anyone for who they are or how they chose to live their life. As a hecterosexual I should be able to raise my children as hecterosexual and allowed to promote my beliefs anywhere without being accused of being a racist.

    • Chris

      Firstly, when you say “hecterosexual” I immediately thought of Hector from the Iliad. That would be quite the unique orientation.

      Also, no one is calling you racist. No one’s calling you homophobic, either, but racism has nothing to do with the content of this article.

      No one is threatening your right to raise your children, though you should probably rethink the “as heterosexual” part. It’s important to not assume a child’s orientation from the get go. You can promote your beliefs anywhere, but it depends on what your beliefs are that will determine whether someone could accurately call your beliefs homophobic.

  • Jacob

    You can be fired for being gay in Ohio; the map is incorrect. We strive every year to pass a nondiscrimination bill but of yet have been unsuccessful.

  • Gerard Koskovich

    From earliest childhood on, hearing inspirational and instructional stories from your parents and other relatives about people who share your feelings, desires and experiences.

    Learning in school about the history of people like you.

    Seeing your history displayed in museums and honored with public monuments.

    Growing up knowing people like you across many generations, enabling you to see the possibilities for your own future as an adult, in midlife and in old age.

  • Maika

    I was just going to post what Kathleen did, Not being told that your sexuality doesn’t exist, or that you are something other than what you shared as your identity. (I’m bisexual and I’ve been told by many people that I’m not, and I should just choose, or I can’t be because my partner is a man.

  • Maika

    The funniest/rudest/most inaccurate thing someone said to me, is that girls say they are bisexual to turn men on.

    • Chris

      There are some, though. The problem is that it had suddenly become popular (at least in my area) a while ago for straight girls to claim bisexuality to get attention from boys. For a long time, I considered myself bisexual, but now I just think that I’m 90% gay and I leave it at that. That’s another problem unique to your situation: for a significant portion of the queer population, bisexuality was a transitory stage of recognizing that they didn’t really want to have sex with people who weren’t members of the same gender. I’m sorry for the injustice you face.

  • Corette

    Not having every aspect of your dress, speech, personal grooming habits, gait/way of walking, hobbies, dislikes, or other character traits examined for proof of a stereotype about your sexual orientation.

    Not having to prove your relationships to the wider world. As queer slam poet Denice Frohman said: “Why do I gotta prove my love is authentic?”

  • Corette

    Ooh! I forgot one:
    Not having people assume your sexuality is the result of some “bad” run-in with the other sex or even the same sex (e.g. “her boyfriend dumped her, now she’s a lesbian,” “he was molested and that’s why he’s gay,” etc.)

  • Christine

    Being able to go to the doctor and not worry about what he or she might do to you when you tell him you’re gay.

  • Sen

    There is something so meaningless about all of this.

    • Alan

      Then you’re probably a straight person.

  • buccannan

    Not having to miss your partner’s family get-togethers because their family does not approve or feel the terrible feeling of being deserted. Not having your partner choose their family’s feelings over yours because your partner does not even see the relationship as “real” because of all of the stigma surrounding it.

  • Lydia

    You’re able to learn about sex and safe sex in school, in a structured class, as part of the normal curriculum.

  • Anonymous

    Upon revealing your sexual orientation to others, you will not be asked why you didn’t tell them until now.

    Members of the opposite sex will not worry that you will try to make sexual advances towards them.

    Your sexual orientation is not the defining characteristic of who you are (e.g. “My gay best friend,” “my gay cousin,” etc.).

    You can grow up without worrying about or fearing going to hell for being gay.

  • gayinmaine

    not having to hear, “i dont want to talk to my kids about straight people it would be akward.”

  • Sinbad

    Wanna know something else that’s “heterosexual privilege”? Having kids. Congrats being the complete and total end of your family.

  • Jessie

    You can totally be fired for being gay in Ohio, outside of a few of the larger cities which have their own protection laws. I don’t know why it isn’t orange on this map, though I sincerely wish this were right. I have friends who live here in Columbus but whose jobs aren’t in the city proper like mine is, and it’s so absurd how a few miles is the difference between the freedom to be out and having to hide your true self in order to keep a roof over your head.

  • Tetrol

    Not being pressured into a “normal” relationship until the point where you are in an abusive relationship.

  • Guest

    The assumption that one of you is masculine and one is feminine. Being asked who wears the pants. People assuming that your partner is butch or flamboyant (depending on their gender or which stereotype they think you fit into).

  • Guest

    Or rather not having to deal with that assumption as we’re talking about heterosexual privilege here.

  • DMG

    Not being confronted everyday by news articles, interviews, or online comments debating, dissecting, or defining whether or not you even have the right to exist. Even when something really positive happens for the LGTBQ community the dissenting voices are constantly given a platform for days, weeks, months . . . afterward.

  • Bruce

    This list sounds like it was made from a martyr. Yes, that stuff happens, but not in the context that it’s being put into here. If you have adopted children, cause we all know same sex couples cannot have children, doesn’t mean your going to lose them for moving. Being homosexual is not a mental illness. Trying to say that you can’t go around the world without finding people s of the same is a load of shit. Never assume anything. I’ve rarely heard of someone being evicted for being just gay. There are tonnes of gay athletes that are professional and don’t get their performances criticized because they re gay. If you want to be part of a religious organization, it’s going to be hard considering religion doesn’t abide same sex coupling, man was created to be with woman when it comes to that. You ll never get into a religion that has that as a fundamental belief. If someone asks you how sex works for gays they are obviously ignorant to the ways and may be just curious on how it works, or yes, they could just be being a prick. There are lots of supports for marriages of gay couples, I ve personally congratulated more then a few married couples, though the details of gay marriages should be changed to the same as hetero marriages I agree. To be expected to have someone of your same sexual preference around all the time is a matter of sociability, you hang out with who you choose to, don’t expect it to be everywhere you go, get real. When it comes to business, there are a lot of changes that need to be made, but don’t expect those changes to give you “the upper hand” or give you anything special because of sexual preference. When it comes to education, there shouldn’t be any influence on young children, period! Start educating them about sexual preferences when they are mid teens or so, if you do it before puberty then yes you are influencing them into making a choice they might not make on their own. Whatever choice they do make should be supported, but academics should not be changed just because you are gay! They don’t change for religion or race, so why for gays? You can’t expect anything from anyone, people are entitled to their own opinions and beliefs too! If they choose not to let you hang around their family because your gay, that’s their choice, who are you to force them otherwise? Not everyone is going to like you, gay or not. If you act, dress or behave in a way that’s against the law, guess what, your going to be arrested gay or straight. There are tonnes of gay role models out there, do some research of your own and think for yourself. Besides the marriage laws and business, how is a gay persons basic civil rights negated? And don’t tell me about discrimination cause there’s more then a few pride gangs that do the same discriminating and violence onto heterosexuals that are done onto gays, neither of them have the right to do so! If you have parades where people are naked, dressing flagrantly when they normally don’t do so, what do you think the populace is going to think about gays and who they are, even though most aren’t that way. It’s up to gays to regulate what other gays do to stop this image that so unwanted. No one else is going to change that image for gays but gays, so quite with the “that’s not gay people” crap. If your too afraid to tell people who your partner is, don’t whine because you don’t have the courage to do so. What is really stopping you from talking about what you and your partner does or plan on doing? Does it really matter what that person you only see a few times really thinks of you?, or people you see more often for that matter. If the person is not willing to accept who you are not matter sexual preference, then are they really worth wasting energy on? You are who you are, don’t be afraid to hide it, but don’t be flagrant about it either. When small talk comes up and your asked if you have a girlfriend, smile and say sometimes, if your partner likes to dress up, if not then tell them no, I have a bf/gf. If they judge you based on that and not your actions, they ain’t worth having around. The reason people stereotype gay parents as molesters and brainwashers is that for a long time the only gays caught were doing exactly that. It’s not until a decade or two ago that the truth of it came out “not all are that way”! I know a couple people that were adopted by a gay couple and that’s exactly what happened to them, but I also know a couple that were raised by gays and they are heterosexual with a normal life. Instead of chewing over all the bad things why don’t you look at what has been achieved and look forward to the progress to come?

    • Bruce

      Bi-sexual will have children I know, but that doesn’t make them any different then any other parent. Just because your bi with a child and may be in a same sex relationship doesn’t make your parenting abilities any less then anyone elses. If you can raise a child without bias to one way or another and let that child decide for themselves who they are that’s what matters

  • Jay

    Not losing your best friend to anti-gay conversion therapy.

  • Wrig’s Mom

    Being able to celebrate your anniversary openly in a nice restaurant
    without getting stares and odd looks