Social Justice Advocates Handbook: A Guide to Gender Understanding I'm Heading to Cairo

30+ Examples of Cisgender Privilege

by Sam Killermann · 593 comments

in Gender,Privilege Lists

"Try not to forget."  Comic

Heads up! I wrote a book all about gender that provides tools for standing up against gender-based oppression (like the things below) and working toward a socially justice society. If you appreciate all that jazz, you’ll love this book.

Following is a list of cisgender identity privileges.  If you’re not familiar with the term, “cisgender” means having a biological sex that matches your gender identity and expression, resulting in other people accurately perceiving your gender.  If you are cisgender, listed below are benefits that result from your alignment of identity and perceived identity.  If you identify as cisgender, there’s a good chance you’ve never thought about these things.  Try and be more cognizant and you’ll start to realize how much work we have to do in order to make things better for the transgender folks who don’t have access to these privileges.  If you’re unsure of what it means to be “transgender” you can read about it in our gender identity guide.

Please comment below if you have any additions or revisions to make!

  1. Get my book!
    Use public restrooms without fear of verbal abuse, physical intimidation, or arrest
  2. Use public facilities such as gym locker rooms and store changing rooms without stares, fear, or anxiety.
  3. Strangers don’t assume they can ask you what your genitals look like and how you have sex.
  4. Your validity as a man/woman/human is not based on how much surgery you’ve had or how well you “pass” as non-transgender.
  5. You have the ability to walk through the world and generally blend-in, not being constantly stared or gawked at, whispered about, pointed at, or laughed at because of your gender expression.
  6. You can access gender exclusive spaces such as the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival, Greek Life, or Take Back the Night and not be excluded due to your trans status.
  7. Strangers call you by the name you provide, and don’t ask what your “real name” [birth name] is and then assume that they have a right to call you by that name.
  8. You can reasonably assume that your ability to acquire a job, rent an apartment, or secure a loan will not be denied on the basis of your gender identity/expression.
  9. You have the ability to flirt, engage in courtship, or form a relationship and not fear that your biological status may be cause for rejection or attack, nor will it cause your partner to question their sexual orientation.
  10. If you end up in the emergency room, you do not have to worry that your gender will keep you from receiving appropriate treatment, or that all of your medical issues will be seen as a result of your gender.
  11. Your identity is not considered a mental pathology (“gender identity disorder” in the DSM IV) by the psychological and medical establishments.
  12. You have the ability to not worry about being placed in a sex-segregated detention center, holding facility, jail or prison that is incongruent with your identity.
  13. You have the ability to not be profiled on the street as a sex worker because of your gender expression.
  14. You are not required to undergo an extensive psychological evaluation in order to receive basic medical care.
  15. You do not have to defend you right to be a part of “Queer,” and gays and lesbians will not try to exclude you from “their” equal  rights movement because of your gender identity (or any equality movement, including feminist rights).
  16. If you are murdered (or have any crime committed against you), your gender expression will not be used as a justification for your murder (“gay panic”) nor as a reason to coddle the perpetrators.
  17. You can easily find role models and mentors to emulate who share your identity.
  18. Hollywood accurately depicts people of your gender in films and television, and does not solely make  your identity the focus of a dramatic storyline, or the punchline for a joke.
  19. Be able to assume that everyone you encounter will understand your identity, and not think you’re confused, misled, or hell-bound when you reveal it to them.
  20. Being able to purchase clothes that match your gender identity without being refused service/mocked by staff or questioned on your genitals.
  21. Being able to purchase shoes that fit your gender expression without having to order them in special sizes or asking someone to custom-make them.
  22. No stranger checking your identification or drivers license will ever insult or glare at you because your name or sex does not match the sex they believed you to be based on your gender expression.
  23. You can reasonably assume that you will not be denied services at a hospital, bank, or other institution because the staff does not believe the gender marker on your ID card to match your gender identity.
  24. Get my book!
    Having your gender as an option on a form.
  25. Being able to tick a box on a form without someone disagreeing, and telling you not to lie.  Yes, this happens.
  26. Not fearing interactions with police officers due to your gender identity.
  27. Being able to go to places with friends on a whim knowing there will be bathrooms there you can use.
  28. You don’t have to convince your parents of your true gender and/or have to earn your parents’ and siblings’ love and respect all over again.
  29. You don’t have to remind your extended family over and over to use proper gender pronouns (e.g., after transitioning).
  30. You don’t have to deal with old photographs that did not reflect who you truly are.
  31. Knowing that if you’re dating someone they aren’t just looking to satisfy a curiosity or kink pertaining to your gender identity (e.g., the “novelty” of having sex with a trans- person).
  32. Being able to pretend that anatomy and gender are irrevocably entwined when having the “boy parts and girl parts” talk with children, instead of explaining the actual complexity of the issue (one “how-to” in the comments below).
  33. [leave a comment below with another example!]
After reading this list, please read and share our article about making a more trans-friendly world and be part of the solution.
Thanks to BGSU’s Safe Zone Program for the beginnings of this list.

Written by Sam Killermann

Sam is a writer and performer who uses those skills as an ally to advance progress in the realms of LGBT equality and social justice. He tours the country speaking to college students about stereotypes, prejudice, and oppression, and writes for this site when he's at home in Austin, TX.

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  • Rufus Ulrik

    Being able to purchase clothes that match your gender identity without being refused service/mocked by staff or questioned on your genitals

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for starting the additions, Rufus!  Added your item to the list.

  • catherine

    Being able to tick a box on a form without someone disagreeing, and telling you not to lie. (yes, this has happened to me.) 

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      I don’t doubt that happened, but it’s unfortunate that it did/does.  Thanks for sharing, Catherine!  

  • Amos

    No stranger checking your identification or drivers license will ever insult or glare at you because your name or sex does not match the sex they believed you to be based on your gender expression.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for sharing, Amos.  I added to the list.

      • Amos

         Cool!

  • Gigantic Insect

    Being able to purchase shoes that fit your gender expression without having to order them in special sizes or asking someone to custom-make them.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Another great one.  Thanks for sharing and for reading!

    • Pinknightstalker37

      Great point but there are a few of us cisgender women who have this problem. I wear a size 11/12 and have had many shoe salespeople tell me that I should “shop at the drag stores”

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  • Guest

    I don’t think it’s just the gay and lesbian equality movement that can be exclusive. I’m sure there are parts of feminism that can, and do, exclude transgender individuals (intentionally or not). And, there are tensions in the fight for racial equality where transgender individuals are marginalized, and are more or less asked to put that part of their identity aside in favor of fighting only for racial equality. This is an expansion of #16, which I suppose would be boiled down to, “Being able to be a part of an equality movement without fear of marginalization.”

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Absolutely.  A great clarification.

      • Jolteon11

        I would like to see this as “I won’t be turned away because of my gender” or something similar, since people of color, with disabilities, etc. are often forgotten in pretty much any equality movement that isn’t explicitly for them – I am thinking especially of some (most, in my limited experience) “radical feminists,” whom I’ve seen unspokenly define women (rather, the group of women they care for) as white, higher class, educated, able-bodied, cis, etc., though of course this applies to all movements.

        • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

          What do you think about the revision I just made?  And You’re completely right.  It’s a wacky world we live in when targeted groups target each other.

          • Dennis L.

            I think it’s normal and generally unintentional (emphasis on generally) when a targeted group marginalizes other groups within their organization… for most i think it’s a situation of competing interests…so they marginalize in order to push their specific agenda, not so much to lack inclusiveness…i’m not saying it’s right, just thought i’d try to bring some perspective….sorry about the rant 

    • Guest

      There is a very vocal and vicious RadFem bloc that is extremely and violently transphobic. Not all feminists (even ones with radical leanings) identify with them, but they are certainly out there, especially within the WBW (womyn born womyn) movement.

      • Carolyn in Baltimore

        I think RadFem is different than the radical feminist community I grew up in. However there are times I need woman-space. I was mixed on trans exclusion till last year I went to a gathering that was 50/50 straight /gay and one genderqueer person came. And it was very distracting and uncomfortable for many of the women who were there for safe space and workshops pertaining to womens’ lives. And I can say it was especially some of the straight women who voiced their uncomfortableness.
        I don’t think that trans people understand that women who grow up socialized as women have a reasonable ingrained mistrust of men. And often people socialized as male do not have a feminist perspective and act on their privilege. 
        Yes, I think there is an extreme group of feminists. But all women occasionally need womanspace, and I am one. I need a fix every few years it seems. 
        And yes, there are also transpeople who don’t understand how the patriarchy harms us all and who want to claim space that born women sometimes need. 
        I think we should always honor someone’s gender identity. But as a white person I would not go uninvited to a space made for black political activism or healing, 

        • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HORZNLCXKLQNOUVCTRL2YPLFTA N

          I don’t understand why “born women sometimes need” space more than trans women or genderqueer people. I don’t understand why, except for the transphobia.
          There are lots of “born” women who don’t understand how the patriarchy harms us all. There are a lot of women who I don’t need to hang out with.
          I don’t see how excluding trans women from women’s space is honoring their gender identity. Kinda the opposite, n’est pas?
          Women are really diverse. Trans women are part of that diversity.

          • Bunny in Rochester

            understanding is not a prerequisite for respect. 

            I do not understand someone thinking/believing they are trans but I will respect it and not deny them.

            You have to understand my need for space with women who are completely interpreted as women from birth in order to respect it and not deny me. 

          • Bunny in Rochester

            oops! That last sentence should read:

            You DO NOT have to understand my need for space with women who are completely interpreted as women from birth in order to respect it and not deny me. 

          • guest

            who is giving birth to WOMEN?

            you do not know anyone’s story or how they have or have not been socialized.

            what you’re spouting is transphobic and cissexist. I can guarantee that if a woman who happened to be trans came to a “woman-only” space, gave no mention of her trans status, you’d find that you have many of the same experiences.

          • the_ether

            Oh hey, another privilege: I can enter space designated for my gender and not have people accuse me of violating their space or disrespecting their needs

        • Gwydderig Jinks

          “I think we should always honor someone’s gender identity. But as a white person I would not go uninvited to a space made for black political activism or healing,”Are you serious? You do realise by making that analogy that you just basically insinuated that trans women aren’t actually women at all. In fact, throughout your entire comment you seem to be conflating trans women with men. You say that you need “womanspace”? Trans women are women. They get to have this space as well, they are no less woman than you. Please stop this. It’s insulting and dangerous. Go back to school and educate yourself. You can come back and apologise when you’ve learned to be respectful enough to actually “Honour” people’s gender identities. 

        • http://twitter.com/widdershins_cat Katie B

          There is a serious problem in your analysis: As a cissexual person, YOU ARE THE WHITE PERSON IN THIS ANALYSIS.

          You cannot – you CAN NOT – “analyze” privilege between cis people and trans people if you put trans people in the “privileged group that we need space from” category.

          Doing so is OPPRESSIVE, and you are being oppressive by thoughtlessly, heedlessly continuing that vicious meme.

        • ashley

          so what you’re really saying here Carolyn (if you realize it or not) is that trans-women aren’t ‘real’ women, and you view trans-women as still being men. This is the very heart of trans-phobia, and all hate/exclusion of trans ppl stems from this belief. I hope you realize this and that your comments help to explain why cis-privilege happens in the first place.

  • GendersNOTachoice

    It’s called make the choice to be the gender you were created!!! If you have a problem with that get therapy for a REAL therapist that will help you embrace who you are and not who you want to be! Grow up people!!!

    • Rufus Ulrik

       ¬¬ Are you serious buddy? I can’t even tell what you’re saying.

    • Mar

      …Why are you even on this website,then? Trying to convert the rest of us? 

      • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

        :)  This thought pops into my head on a daily basis as I’m combing through comments.  My favorite line was when someone used the phrase “shoving this stuff down my throat” in a comment they wrote on my website.  

    • Amos

      This person might be having trouble understanding that biological sex and gender cannot be collapsed together so neatly for some people…?

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      You’re absolutely right about one thing: gender is not a choice.  Which is why it’s odd that you then say “make the choice,” but I’ll overlook that.

      This website is all about embracing who you are.  I’m happy you agree!  It’s tough when people don’t understand that and try to force everyone in the entire world (that’s a lot of people) into one of two options (that’s not a lot of options) for how they are going to identify themselves and be perceived and interacted with by others (that’s a lot of important stuff).

      But thanks for the support.  And the therapist point is a great one.  It’s amazing how stigmatizing going to a therapist is, when in reality it’s great advice for everyone.  Everyone.  

      Everyone.

  • Luna

    Traveling from point A to point B on public transit, and never wondering if you are going to make it.

  • guest

    for 12- another example of segregated housing would be college dorms. also, I think this one could be expanded- there’s both the experience of forced sex-segregated living quarters (ie prisons, jails, detention centers) and sex-segregated housing that isn’t forced but is often exclusive (ie dorms, housing for business conferences or retreats)

  • SireH

    *As my gender, being able to travel to much of the world.
    *As my gender, being accepted by religious people as normal.
    *As my gender, being accepted by my family as normal.
    *Feeling comfortable around police ever.
    *Being able to be ignorant about the politics of gender around the world!
    *As my gender, getting to go places with friends on a whim, because there will be bathrooms there for me to use.
    *As my gender, buying a house or paying for college unconcerned whether it means I will or will not have the money to get surgery so I can finally possess my body.
    *As my gender, assuming only mommies get pregnant and only daddies impregnate.

    • SireH

      Oh, and I forgot the one that the picture at the top of this page made me cringe about.
      *I get to wear a swimsuit and go swimming.

  • Blu_bun

     Never fearing of being removed from the military for being your “proper” gender expression.

  • http://quiltingqueer.tumblr.com/ doughts

    I think having a female gender identity can be the punch line of jokes, and women can be under represented. 
    I still agree, no doubt of that. It’s easier to find female role models in media than transgender ones. 
    I would add you don’t have to go through massive amounts of hassle to get important paperwork to match your gender identity. 
    You can find a large variety of books with characters that have your gender identity. 

  • http://twitter.com/aelphabawest aelphabawest

    I think just about all of these are very though provoking and a good list.  My only bone to pick is this one: “You do not have to defend you right to be a part of “Queer,” and gays and lesbians will not try to exclude you from the equal rights movement.” 

    As someone who has been told I’m cisgender, I frequently have to defend my right to be a part of “Queer.”  Gender, to me, is a performance.  Presently I’m performing female and I happen to have lady bits.  Previously I have been more obviously androgynous/genderqueer (though the lady bits are more or less the same).  Who knows what next year will bring.  But being sexually fluid and presently femme-presenting means I have to defend every inch of Queerness in me.

    All the rest of that though, good job.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      That’s a fair bone to pick, and I appreciate your sharing it.  Do you self-ID as cisgender?  Because from what I’m reading, I would guess you don’t, but I’m unclear.

  • AmyS

    You don’t have to convince your parents of your true gender and/or have to earn your parents’ and siblings’ love and respect all over again.  

    You don’t have to remind your extended family over and over again that you’ve transitioned and to please use the proper gender pronouns.  

    You don’t have to deal with old photographs that did not reflect who you truly are.  

  • Tan

    Having your gender as an option on a form, period.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      I had to read my list four times to believe I didn’t include that.  Wow.  Haha – Thanks.  Goodness gracious.

  • Jpan18

    I I would love to read a list of 20 benefits of being transgendered!

    #1. Not taking my gender for granted. I’ve had to work to become the man I am today and set very clear intentions to love myself. I’ve built a stronger relationship with myself because of my gender

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      If you want to write one, I’d love to post it.  I could probably come up with a few more, but I don’t think I could pull 20 together.  Email me if you want to chat about this.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dave.fancella Dave Fancella

      #2. Being able to havea girls’ night in with my wife where we do each other’s makeup, get dressed up all pretty, and screw like animals.

      #3. Understanding the differences in how the two genders experience the world gives you a unique point of view that your friends value in ways they can’t get from a cisgendered person.

  • http://twitter.com/sophie_448 sophie_448

    This is a good article to get people started thinking about cis privilege.  Wanted to point out something in the intro, though.  

    “ the list below are all of the benefits that result from your alignment of identity and perceived idenity” 

    This makes it sound like the list is comprehensive, which I know you don’t think since you’re asking people to add to the list.  But I wouldn’t want someone reading about gender privilege for the first time to think that these are the only ways in which that privilege operates.  

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Ah!  Silly mistake.  Fixed.  Thanks!

  • Mustlovechain

    Able to have sex and not worry if you’re just a kink.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Can you elaborate a bit more?  Do you mean satisfying someone else’s kink?  

      • Will Bishop

        I’ll second this one… Like, not knowing if the person you’re dating (if you’re lucky enough that they don’t lose interest when they find out you’re trans!) is still seeing you as a person who’s a potential long-term partner, or just some sexual novelty that’ll be a fun experience until they get bored with it or find someone else to have a real, “normal” relationship with.

        Not necessarily exactly what the earlier commenter meant, but it’s the same general principle of wondering if they see you as a person, or just a sex object. Trans people aren’t the only ones with this problem, but it’s definitely a big one.

        • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

          Thanks for clarifying that Will.  That’s what I was suspecting the original commenter meant, but I was trying not to put words in anyone’s mouth.  I’ll add it to the list.  Check out what I write and let me know if it needs to be revised.

  • TS

    I would change #17 from “if you are murdered” to “if any crime is committed against you”. I have a feeling people would use gender expression to justify anything from assault to theft due to “gay panic”.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Noted.  Great point.

  • Zeraph

    Nice article. I created the graphic that you are using. It’s from my blog, The Alchemist’s Closet. Please feel free to continue using this graphic. I have also compiled a list of cisgender privileges, adapated from the T-Vox wiki, which is found here: http://alchemistsclosetarticles.blogspot.com/2008/11/examining-cisgender-privilege.html. Thanks,
    -Zeraph

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for creating it, and for giving me the okay, Zeraph.  I found it through a cached google search several months ago, and couldn’t locate the creator to attribute it.  All set now :)

  • Ebernard40

    In regards to No. 25, I’m cis and I’ve never felt comfortable around police. 

    But that’s not because of my identity, just because Cali police are monsters.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Fair point.  I clarified.  Think the revision helps?

  • Amanda

    -Being able to be pregnant and feel aligned in my female body (not having conflicting emotions as a transgendered male who is carrying a child).

    -being able to be pregnant and not questioned about the merits of my choosing to have a child or the quality of life my child will have as a result of my being it’s parent

  • Wava

    A very true list, but kind of depressing. How about another for 30 ways you can improve the problem?

  • http://twitter.com/Miss_Absynthe Aby

    You might find the following interesting.

    http://takesupspace.wordpress.com/cis-privilege-checklist/

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Very.  I’m a huge fan of Peggy McIntosh’s work.  Thanks for sharing.

  • Elizabeth

    Thanks for sharing this list. I just happened upon it from a friend’s link. I’ve never even heard of the term cisgender before but I guess that is what I am – that and straight. I’ve always tried to be supportive and understanding of any transgendered people I know but I never really “got” it or put much energy into “getting” the issues. Your list helped me understand better that it’s not mine to “get” and that the issues are way more complex and all-consuming than I ever imagined. I think this will help me be a better, more compassionate supporter and friend. Thank you.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Elizabeth, based on what I’m reading here, I would bet you are already a pretty amazing friend to have. Thanks for reading, and for the comment. I hope you find my other articles as helpful.

    • Judahsleep

      What Samuel said, Elizabeth! The world needs more folks like yourself in it.

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  • Krilea

    Far too many of these hit home. And the most hurtful is being excluded by the gender you identify with because you don’t have a………..

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      I’m sorry to hear that, Krilea.  But I’ve found comfort in how much traffic this article is getting (>1000 new visitors a day).  People care.  Hopefully this list will be irrelevant before we are.

  • Winter

    Awesome! I’d add to the one about having your ID checked.

    “You can reasonably assume that you will not be denied services at a hospital, bank, or other institution because the staff does not believe the gender marker on your ID card to match your gender identity.”

    I have fortuantely never been denied medical services, but bank tellers have refused to let me access my bank account for this reason.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for sharing.  That’s a solid revision, worthy of its own point, I think.  

  • Jules

    If you are the victim of sexual assault, you do not have to convince the police that you did not encourage the attacker in some way, nor do you have to be treated like a sexual pervert who “had it coming.”

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/G56DRM6X3K733IRU7QXQJEIUVA C

       seriously? cis women who get raped are often viewed as “asking for it”. see: that chick mike tyson raped (“shouldn’t have gone into his hotel room”) and more recently the woman who several NYPD officers ran train on while she was drunk to the point of incapacitation (“she was drunk, she had it coming”).

      • ecr

        This happens to cis women, but I think it’s a little different, because
        you’ll find lots of people who believe that “virtuous women” (and yes, I do want to throw up about this) should be
        protected, but there’s no cultural idea that transgender people should
        be similarly protected from violence. 

        There are a few hairsplitting quibbles I could make in this list, but
        the larger picture is still true – there are a TON of things I take for
        granted which are difficult or impossible to navigate safely if you’re
        trans.  

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/PHJSIJZSOMO5XJZLGWJA52OMOU Megan

        before you read the rest of this, understand i have been on both sides of it. I was raped repeatedly over the span of 4 months by my ex’s cousin and was asked by the SVU investigator if i loved him. I told her to fuck off and left. it took me another 2 months to work up the courage to go back and report it a second time before i got anywhere. yes but at least we can get the doctors to look at us or the SVU to do proper testing and not make fun of us for our gender. A lot of things probably go unreported because multi-gendered people just don’t want to deal with the crap. Its the whole “hes biologically male so he cant get raped” mentality. I had a male friend that was raped so hard they tore his insides and he had to have several surgeries over the course of MONTHS. but he didnt persue charges because the cops told him it wouldnt get anywhere because he was a gay male. they said the prosecution was pushing for the theory that “he liked it” because he was gay. You have cis-women that fake it because they hate the guy and regret doing something the next morning and the guy goes to jail. they dont get any crap because “well he went to jail so hes lying”. I think its all stupid and victims should be treated fairly no matter what biological sex they are or what they identify as. it is a crime and should be treated as one unconditionally unless proven innocent with the due diligence of the law.

        • MJ

          Your comment on cis women is very flawed and offensive. I hope you are not implying that it’s common that cis women lie about being raped to cover up sexual encounters they regret. This is the kind of story people push especially law enforcement officers to not prosecute cases. Many cis women end up not filing charges against attackers because of these sorts of justification. My sister who is caucasian was raped by a black male who went to her high school. We live in a southern state. When she went to report the rape, they sat her alone in a room with two male officers who refused to believe her story and insisted she was lying about being raped because she didn’t want her family to know she “loves f-ing black guys”. She became pregnant from the rape and because she felt helpless, hid her pregnancy and received no care for her son medically until he was born. If you don’t like the horrible way trans people are treated when they are sexually assaulted, then you should refrain from those lines of toxic thinking for all people. It’s unjustifiable no matter who it’s applied to.

    • Bunny in Rochester

      Jules, sadly that’s something pretty much every female under the age of 13 or over 65 has to face when reprint a sexual assault. It’s not about *cis-privelege*, it’s about how females are not valued or believed. 

    • ashley

      also, if you are sexually assaulted and happen to be a cisgendered female, you don’t have to worry about going to a rape shelter and being denied access.

  • Kaliann

    How about being able to pretend that anatomy and gender are irrevocably entwined when having the “Boy parts and Girl Parts” talk with children.

    I am a ciswoman, but I took great care to explain the difference between anatomy and gender when explaining reproductive anatomy.  It wasn’t that complicated.  1) I made sure to include the fact that there are bunches of in-betweens in both gender and anatomy.  2) I specifically addressed the fact that while gender and anatomy usually coincide, for many people they do not.  “A girl could be born with a penis, but she knows she is a girl…”

    • http://ardithlaverne.com/ Ardith

       +1. Awesome.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Ditto what Ardith said.  Though I’m having a bit of trouble making it concise.  Check out what I wrote and suggest some improvements, if you would :)

      • Kaliann

         You did a great job!  I think it’s something that is too easy for people (especially people who do not identify as LBGT) to forget about or sidestep because they are already uncomfortable with the conversation.  Biology is my wheelhouse, though, so I am fortunate to not be uncomfortable with the subject.

        I think when I was first explaining it, my big goal was to bring awareness and demystification to the anatomy/gender variabilities in the same conversation as talking about her own gear.  As long as the child knows that there are lots of shades on both the physical and gender spectrum, she’s less likely to be shocked when she meets or hears someone mention a trans person.  Hopefully, she will have a rational basis to question her peers if they are being transphobic, and she will be slightly less surprised than a child who is convinced that trans people are as impossible as unicorns.  She also knows that I will patiently explain any confusions she has. 

        There was a moment where she said, “So a boy could be born and think he’s a girl?” which required the gentle correction, “No, but girl could be born with a penis, and her parents would probably think she was a boy.”

    • Jessicastonetroy

      Thanks so much for this comment! This is something I want to make clear to my son as well!

    • Laurelscaldwell

      I could not agree more. I am also a ciswoman and felt it was important my son understand the idea of transgendered. He put it better than I ever could, “Oh, I understand. Sometimes the outsides people are born with don’t match their insides. That must be hard. People should be nice to them.”

      • Amos G.

        Your son is awesome! Quote of the day.

        • Michele

          I smiled reading these as comments. Thanks for making a translady’s day.

          • kimber

            thanks for shareing what he said thats made me smile

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Hannah-Paige-Woodard/100003224964929 Hannah Paige Woodard

        Taking notes for if I ever have kids! I love how kids generally accept stuff that adults have such a hard time with. It gives me faith that eventually our society can become a more accepting place.

      • Anon

        This made me tear up. Your son is awesome!

        • S Elliott

          Ditto

      • God’sHumbleServant

        You’re a sick, twisted, vile woman to get your son to believe such things. Have a nice time in Hell.

        • http://twitter.com/Miquih2o Miguel Hirsch

          Let’s have a good time in hell!!! Hell yeah, î î î î î those guys will be in heaven, I choose fun and joy

        • LaneTurtle

          You are a sick bigoted person who does not follow the Bible…. God’sHumbleServant??? Ya right!!! True christians who follow God’s word DO NOT JUDGE OTHERS!!!!!!! How can you supposedly believe in something when you don’t follow ALL of the teachings?!?!?!

        • http://www.facebook.com/melle224 Melissa King

          lmao, if hell existed, I think judgmental, bigoted psychos with anger issues would be more fit candidates for it than people teaching children love and acceptance.

        • WhyI’mNotAChristian

          How vilely Christian of you. If there is a hell, I think you just bought your own non-refundable one-way ticket.

          • TransSupportingChristian

            Can I just say I’m actually a minister and there are many Christians who are doing our best to be cis-allies. I’m proud there is a trans person who was recently ordained in my church. I apologize for the hate preached in the name of my faith and all the persecution it has been used as cover for over the centuries.

          • Steve

            .As your post shows there is progress being made in portions of the larger church body being more accepting. There are still many individuals ,and even whole denominations, who feel that this progress is actually an offense and a sign that society is moving further away from God. It is a very complex situation. keep up the good work.

          • Leif

            TransSupportingChristian – it’s good that you are supportive. I wish you didn’t have to apologize in the name of your faith, too. I believe this is a big problem with acceptance in and of itself – normally it’s only preached for one thing at a time. I have trans friends and I have Christian friends – to reduce anyone doing anything wrong/having anything wrong done to them simply to such labels isn’t helpful at all. While the person above was advocating hate under the guise of Christianity (it doesn’t fit and I know that), it’s still Christianity that will tend to take the hit for it.
            It’s kind of you to apologize on their behalf, and to talk about how you perceive trans as a minister (way to go! Faith: you’re doing it right). Just like I wish my trans friends wouldn’t need to go through things listed in the article, I wish level-minded people like you wouldn’t be required to answer for others abusing the label you identify with.

          • SamOfTheChalk

            I like you! :)
            My auntie and uncle are both members of the Anglican Church (ministers? I think ministers), and they were overjoyed I was trans*, because to them it was “me finding what God had given me”. They feel that trans* people are one of God’s gifts, because we have an understanding of both sexes, which means we can help more people.

          • Hélie Lainé

            That is such a beautiful way to see it! <3 to you and your supporting relatives.

          • franko

            The Anglican Church is not seen as having anything to do with Christianity by any serious, self-respecting deists. From Muslims to Christians to Jews.

        • Steve

          Intellectually, I think I understand that the rather narrow minded, and angry comments above are likely coming from a desire to simplify a complex, a sometimes scary world. It is probably quite comforting to “know” that God is on your side and all the deep feelings of disgust, righteous anger and wrath are shared by him. So, how do we, as a society and how does GHS(above) , as an individual) balance the old testament angry destroyer God with the New Testament Jesus love and forgiveness God? It seems the easier early, dare I say outdated, philosophy of wrath and death is still remembered when someone wants to punish instead of love, empathize and live. Just thinking out loud here.

        • Agcat90

          Pardon me God’sHumbleServant but we’re all god’s children and can express ourselves however way we choose to. Be it through being male, female, trans* or even non-gender. All children of God are still people. People hate people, not God.

          • Daniel Whitmee

            Wow. So does the transgender community not use the Internet very much? That idiot is what we affectionately know as a ‘troll’, and while I understand that his heinous and bigoted comments might cause a reaction, the truth is that he probably doesn’t believe what he wrote.

          • Awkwardly Amused

            My thoughts exactly!

          • Sassafras

            “Troll” is just a convenient excuse. People know they can say the most nasty and deliberately-hurtful things and have it waved off as “for the lulz”. The fact is, whether he truly believes it or not is irrelevant; he still wanted to say things he knows are hateful to trans people. He said it BECAUSE he knows it’s hateful and thinks spewing such things at people is either good or funny. Functionally it’s the same. Saying nasty hateful things with the intent of upsetting people is the same whether you do it because you’re a bigot or because you’re an amateur comedian.

        • T.Anon

          You’re god’s servant? Isn’t god supposed to be all loving? Aren’t you supposed to love your neighbour? Aren’t pride and wrath sins? Get over yourself. That’s what everyone should be teaching their children. How to love and accept others for who they are without the facades that society has built.

        • Hélie Lainé

          It’s not very “Humble” to judge like that, when we know that God is in fact the only judge. Let Him judge, know that His mind is impenetrable and spread His teachings of love, and then you’ll be humble.

        • Lana

          I bet Jesus fucks your wet pussy with his hard dick without your will.

          • AnnaHart

            I completely understand why people would be offended and angry by GHS’s comment. But do you really think that your comment is the way to reply? If you’re upset by his vulgarity, why in the world would you respond with vulgarity? Also, perhaps keep in mind that there are Christians on this very thread that support transexuality (sorry if that’s the wrong term). That means you’re insulting allies.

        • Gianna

          Comments like these are clearly ideological harassment based on extremist religious positions and should be removed. There is nothing logical, pertinent, or important about this sentiment, please delete this.

        • Chisyts

          Not so humble servant of God! What about the command to love all others as God loves us (agape)? The central message of Christianity.

        • https://www.facebook.com/danah.gaz danah gaz

          Jesus said they very thing as he was washing the feet of the prostitute.

        • Cathy the Spherical

          Matthew 7:1 “Do not judge others, so that God will not judge you.”

        • Wanda Jackson

          It is no different than explaining to a child that just because a person looks nice doesn’t mean they are; “Sometimes the outsides people are born with don’t match their insides. “

        • Pi Five

          God loves all his children. If you’re really his humble servant you should understand that. Her son is already a much better person than you and realizes that everyone is a human. Unless you’re not. Maybe you’re a bird. I’m sorry bird.

        • Jennifer Houlihan

        • Ryokhael

          ‘Thou shalt not judge.’ ‘Worry not about the plank in your brother’s eye, but the mote in your own.’ ‘By grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.’ ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself.’

          In case you hadn’t read your bible lately, here are some quotes to remind you that you have no right, and are actively sinning, to judge others. “Have a nice time in Hell.”

        • Rebekah Love

          For you to be calling such brutal names to a person who is teaching their child to treat everyone with respect even those who are different than ourselves is what you call “evil”. Maybe you should have been taught this. What’s your idea of a perfect world? Treat them like shit and discriminate against them like they have no feelings, maybe one day they commit suicide, but it’s ok because you at least will go to heaven. I think you’re a hypocrite, not everyone is a Christian so quit shoving your beliefs down people’s throats, and if God looked at you now, you honestly think that he/she would approve of your choice of words or intentions in your heart? You sicken me.

      • kellylightbeam

        That’s exactly how I described it to my daughter. She seemed to understand perfectly.

      • Agcat90

        I love what you’ve done with your son but remember that it’s pronounced Transgender not Transgendered! :) #LGBTQ101

        • SamOfTheChalk

          As a trans* bigender (phe/pher), I use both transgender and transgendered, because sometimes one sounds better than the other.

          For example, saying “I’m transgendered” just sounds better than saying “I’m transgender”. The latter sounds like you’re saying you are literally the definition of ‘transgender’. :)

          Then again, I actually say “I’m trans*”, so that mitigates the issue somewhat.
          Have a good day!

          • Amelia

            “Transgendered” implies that transgender is a verb, and being transgender is something that happens to someone, rather than something that is inherent about them. A better way of putting it would be “I’m a transgender person.”

          • SamOfTheChalk

            I guess so. I mostly just say it based on the way the word feels in my mouth :P. I get your point though, I’ll try to remember that!

          • Jared

            Who’d a thunk I’d enjoy a grammar refresh on the same day that I learned what the word “cisgender” means?

            What a day!

          • Transgendered Man

            It does not imply that it is a verb. You are just looking for reasons to be offended by something. “Right-handed” is used, not “right-hand.” It is an adjective, and I have never felt that it implies anything other than that.

          • Splitting hairs

            I am technically minded. I am right handed. I am soft hearted. I am “steely eyed”. I am cisgendered. None of those things HAPPENED to me.

            I am right handed because I am right-hand-dominant. I am cisgendered because I have a cisgender self-identity.

            When referring to the identity itself: transgender.
            When describing someone who holds the identity: transgendered.

            That being said, until a linguist makes a definitive statement about it, people who identify as transgender are the only ones whose opinions should matter.

          • vpaulsmithjr

            I agree with all you just said, except for “until a linguist makes a definitive statement about it, people who identify as transgender are the only ones whose opinions should matter.”
            All people can potentially have a valid opinion. To say otherwise is to be in the same boat as one who says that a transgender person can’t have an opinion on topics involving cisgendered people. No progress is made that way. Why can’t we all discuss things and see what everybody has to say?

          • Nik Peter

            I completely agree. As a homosexual, cisgendered, male, I have recently been called a “transphobe” by a couple trans* people in a facebook discussion. They were being very condescending and mocking other “cis” people who were trying to engage in the discussion and share their opinions. I stepped in and pointed out that while I was learning a lot from the discussion, I was also confused by all of the unnecessary hostility. They justified their patronizing attitude and mean spirit by saying that no one understands the struggle that they face every day, so they have the “privilege” in this conversation and “cis people’s opinions” don’t matter, and that we should “shut up and listen.” I am still wrapping my head around that kind of logic, and I am hoping that it’s not a popular ideal of the trans* movement, because I am gay, and I feel that I CAN relate to the struggle to some degree. For example, many of the things on this list DON’T apply to me even as a cis person. Changing in locker rooms and public places can be quite uncomfortable for a gay person too if they feel that they are being judged by straight people, as well as using a public bathroom. Even though I am cisgendered, I get many strange stares and looks ALL THE TIME because of the way I dress and the way I talk. Also, my whole life I also had an inner turmoil about being gay. So at the end of the day, does ANYONE’S struggle have to “beat out” anyone else’s? I have been called homophobic remarks many times in my life, and have received very homophobic treatment, yet I don’t use it to justify any contempt or ill-will. If someone isn’t as educated in homosexual culture as I am (which is usually the case), I don’t mock them and make them feel inferior to me, I inform them and educate them if necessary. I firmly believe that no one needs to use their “privilege” negatively, and no one needs to bring others down in order to build themselves up.

          • linguist

            I’m a bit late but…

            Hi, linguist here!

            In many cases an adjective can be formed from a verb by turning the verb into the past participle of it (eg adding -ed for weak verbs, -en in strong verbs). For example, the past participle of “break” is “broken”, and we can say “The window is broken” and “That is a broken window.”

            Anyway, in this situation it doesn’t matter because they (transgender and transgendered) are both functioning as adjectives. There is something called surface structure (how something behaves) and deep structure (where it comes from or really functions as). The deep structure of “transgendered” is a verb, however the verb (a phrasal linking verb) is “to be transgender”. The past participle of “to be transgender” is “transgendered”.

            The surface structure is an adjective. A linking verb is a verb that connects a subject with a predicate and includes “be, seem, feel”. It is intransitive because it does not take an object; you can not “transgender” someone or something.

            In this situation being “transgendered” implies it’s something that occurs at birth (as an intransitive verb). It happens to people but not in the traditional sense, like not by accident or by chance.

            In other words, either one is correct.

      • Kris

        I have to wonder if instead of taking pity on them for “not matching” if things could improve and we could accept trans people as being just right the way they are and having their gender expression matching their insides perfectly fine. Not all trans people want to change their genitalia…. And the ones who do shouldn’t feel pitied either.

        Not trying to sound too critical. I think it’s wonderful that your son thinks that trans people deserve kindness and respect and that you taught him that gender and genitalia are different things. I just think there is always room for improvement.

      • Joe Spennato

        You are a damn idiot and in concert with the forces of darkness. You an encouraging young people to become confused instead of giving them strong, wise guidance. For forsaking your charge to protect and nurture the most vulnerable among The Lord shall condemn you and turn His back on you in your hour of need

        • Diane Miller

          Tell me, Joe – where exactly does Scripture mention transpeople? Oh, it doesn’t? So you’re adding your own bits to it? I’m pretty sure THAT’S mentioned in Revelation. You might want to read it.

        • Ophidia Matsumoto

          Her son wasn’t at all confused. He said he understood, and expressed compassion.

          Anyway, The Lord isn’t exactly cis Himself: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1:26-27

        • Pi Five

          Teaching children to love others for who they are – there’s your “strong wise guidance.” God loves all, not just the ones who follow the “norm” of gender. God loves his children for who they are. She is not confusing him; she is teaching him that all people are the same, all people are people – just like you, all people have their own personalities. And you seem to have a very blind hateful personality.

        • Mustachio

          Don’t judge. It’s not your job. It’s His.

      • faultygenetics

        I understand that you are trying to sympathise, and I thank you for that, but “transgendered” as a word is incredibly offensive. I realise that this was probably just an unknown thing, but transgendered as a word carries that same negative connotation as the term “yellowed paper.”

    • http://twitter.com/mizeeyore Mizeeyore

      I’m not sure it matters which parts or gender identity is chosen. What matters is that, no matter what their anatomy, kids understand that they have the responsibility of reproduction resulting from that anatomy. My daughter went through puberty at a comparatively young age. She received age-appropriate information, but with the understanding that she was now “equipped” to reproduce. Although she was young, she was now saddled with an adult responsibility. She of course was also assured that I was there for her, for anything.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Shaiix Sara Faber-Graham

      Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I’ll be honest I never thought of how to address this with my child . I am SO glad I read this, because it has helped me realize what exactly to address with them in the future. Taking note !

    • betsy w

      We must respect the inside too, as even children should have the knowledge needed to protect their health. Because, while there may be no ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, vaginal canal or other internal structures and processes, there may someday be prostate problems which every person who values their health and bodily integrity should be aware of and be prepared to deal with in a rational, healthy and responsible way

    • franko

      White people are doomed.

  • http://twitter.com/ElizaAnderson1 Elizabeth Anderson

    I’m sure a lot of these are true, but I can say that some of these do actually apply to men and women as well. Like the photographs one. I’m female and I was born female, but pre-high school photographs – to some extent, even high school photographs – no longer accurately represent who I am. And I think Hollywood definitely uses stereotypes about men and women as well as transgenders. I’m not saying these things don’t happen to transgenders or anything like that – I’m just saying, even as a male or female you can’t just assume all of these things will apply to you.

    • Guest

      I agree with you completely. I was reading through the list and growing more and more confused as I encountered certain privileges that I don’t have. As someone who is cisgendered, I found myself wondering if other cisgender people do know and experience every one of these privileges, and if so, why don’t I? I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one who felt this way!

      • Michael

        It’s not saying that you will experience every one of these privileges, but you have a much higher chance of it than any trans* person.

      • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

        Thanks for the comment, and I’m happy you shared it.  Which ones in particular?  I’m really just curious :)

        And having access to a privilege and accessing it are two different things.  As a straight man, I have access to the privilege of marriage, but I’m not married.  I’d be surprised if you identify as cisgender and don’t feel you have access to anything on the list.  But if that’s the case, maybe we need to rethink a few of them.

        • Gabrielle

          I am a cisgender woman and don’t feel I have some of these privileges you mentioned as well. For example, the Hollywood one. Most movies portray mere stereotypes, but there are some good ones, so I get your point. The one about shoes I had issue with as well. I wear a size women’s 13…nobody makes this size in any “normal” store. But thanks for the insight, most of these were good and helpful. 

    • ken

       You say men and women like trans men and trans women and genderqueer people aren’t human. Good job. Remind me to read comments when I feel dysphoric.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Hi Elizabeth, 

      For all of the points above, you can add a “…as a result of my gender identity.”  The picture on especially.  This point is merely meant to illustrate the difficulty of transitioning from your assigned-at-birth gender to the one you identify with, then reflecting back on those aspects of life where you were essentially faking one of the most defining aspects of your identity.

      What are some other points you’re struggling with?

    • Marv

       Elizabeth,
      Those old pictures of you still represent the same gender. I have to hide my entire life before transition. Stories of things that happened to me can’t be talked about. Old family photos, old school photos, and old sports accomplishments all clearly are female. If I want to remain under the radar I can’t use, share, or talk about any of that time period in my life. Perhaps it isn’t so bad for me because I transitioned at 25, but some trans people don’t transition until well into adult hood. Could you imagine having to hide the first 40 or 50 years of your life. Just so you could hold a job, housing, or education?
      While your old pictures may not accurately represent who you are now, they still represent who you were physically then.

  • HaydenStealthy

    #33. Having people in places outside of a few select areas on the internet being able to understand your identity without the need for a long discussion that they probably won’t believe you at the end of.
    #34: Having an average lifespan longer than 23.
    #35: Not living in fear that somebody could murder you just for your gender identity.
    #36: Not having a minor breakdown whenever you’re filling out an online form with radio buttons (so only one option) and the only gender options available are male and female.
    #37: Not being abused, laughed at, and verbally slandered by people who don’t believe it’s possible to be non-binary.

  • Guest

    I am a cisman, but these privileges are not lost on me. I actually just got the building where I work to adopt bathrooms without sex designations- it’s easier to make a difference on this front than people think.

  • Jackson

    Yay passive-aggressiveness and reverse discrimination!!! Now I am supposed to apologize for the way I was born because others have a tougher time than me?  Sorry, if transgender people are born that way, so am I, and its equally as prejudice to expect me to apologize for WHO I AM.  I refuse to apologize for who I am.  These are no privileged, this is the status-quo.  A privilege is defined as:
    a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most.  
    “Most” people are “cisgender” thus we are not privileged because nothing on your list is “beyond the advantages of most”.  What would be a privilege is people like you being allowed to post discriminatory, reverse prejudicial, and judgmental essays such as this without and recourse simply because you are not the status-quo.  If I were to write passive aggressive article such as this about to privileges of transgender people with obvious intentions to defame transgenders, I would be regarded as a bigot.  But, when the roles are reversed, and the cisgenders are being discriminated against, its “ok”.  That is privilege.  Discrimination is the same all the way around.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Hi Jackson, 

      I never said you, or other people who identify as cisgender, should apologize for who you are.  I would never ask that — you’re missing the point completely.  You can be cis- and proud (I’m cis- and I’m happy to say it).  In fact, I would even go so far as to suggest that most (if not all) of the people who have shared this post would share my sentiment.

      And that’s an interesting definition of privilege you’re using, but I think I’ll rely on Webster’s version (the guy was, after all, the first to standardize the language): “a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor; especially: such a right or immunity attached specifically to a position or an office.”  Here, the “position” I am writing about is one of a societally-favored traditional gender role.  And the benefits, advantages, and favors that come attached to that position are all listed above.  

      You get those!  All those things are yours just because you happened to be born cis-, and you didn’t even know it.  You should be thanking me for opening your eyes ;)

      If we followed your impression of what privilege and prejudice meant I’m afraid we’d live in quite the shitty country.  At least, those who share my sentiment that America is far better off with immigrants, people of color, non-Christians, etc., knowing they can live here and be treated as people.

      I’m also uncertain of what you mean by passive aggressive (I don’t think there’s anything passive about most of what I write) and reverse prejudicial.  I hope that through my work we’ll be able to reverse prejudice, certainly, but if you’re using that term the same way I was using it when I was seventeen and heard about affirmative action scholarships that granted money specifically to people of color and I was pissed because I was White and thought it was unfair, I have two things to say: I was wrong, and, likely, so are you.  I’d be happy to explain more.

      Finally, if the roles were reversed, and it somehow got to the point were cisgender folks didn’t feel safe, couldn’t feel security in their jobs, and were treated like second-class citizens, then yes, that would be discrimination.  Or, technically, it’d be oppression.  It’d be what’s actually happening right now.  

      But — and humor me here — I don’t see that happening.  I’m certainly not calling for that to happen.  For one group to get rights we don’t need to take them away from someone else.  That’s how children look at the world, Jackson — well, children and most of the front-runners in the GOP.

      What’s your problem with transgender people being treated as people?

      • Severedyarg

        Gosh you’re smart. . . and patient. I sure do wish I had that kind of patience sometimes. 

    • Patrick

      Actually… very basic statistics says that “MOST” people are gender variant to some degree.  

      There are additional definitions of privilege.  Including “A special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to one person or group of people.” 

      That is ABSOLUTELY accurate. 

      And pointing out things that cis people take for granted and trans people are almost universally aware of?  That’s hardly discrimination.  But nice try, and hey, thanks for playing!

  • Michael

    Being able to have a one night stand without fearing that the response to your body will be violence.

    • Bunny in Rochester

      yeah well … sadly that’s something ALL women have to worry about. 
      no *privelege* there! :(

      • radbadriot

        this is pretty de-railing, obviously the poster michael meant fearing the response to your body being trans will be violence. cisgender people, especially women have concerns but they are different concerns which is a big part of privilege. also gendering people being concerned with violence in a one night stand as women automatically, is part of cis privilege. 

        • DonaMagica

          I am cis XX and I never though of being concerned about my safety in a date to be a part of any privilege… I think we are all victims of male chauvinism in that sense (even men), as it manifest in different ways, homophobia and hate of women. Males react to these feelings violently in an intent to restore their macho distorted self image. No privileges here but the unfortunate disadvantage of course, that men are physically stronger…

          • Evil

            Lucky for you!  For the trans* population, there is risk from anybody “outing” them – yes, even jaded women.  That kind of abuse (of trust), intentional or otherwise, can lead to serious problems.  Nobody is going to care if somebody says “Mary has a vagina OMG!” whereas if the story is “Mary has a penis – AND IS A MAN!” then things take a very bad turn very quickly.

      • wildefae

        Total derail. The likelihood of any woman having violence committed upon her purely because their date is a rapist is the same whether cis or trans. The likelihood that someone’s nude body will inspire panic, disgust or violence is TOTALLY different. And even in the best of circumstances, cis people aren’t faced with pressure to reveal what their sex organs are like to people prior to a date. “Oh by the way, I have a lopsided labia. Just thought you should know in case that’s a dealbreaker.” NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

  • Patrick

    “People do not disrespect you by using inappropriate pronouns or using “ma’am” or “sir” as a weapon.”

    I agree with most of your post.  But this one isn’t true.  I see it all the time.  “Justine” Bieber orr “Mann” Coulter anyone?

    Or that TERRIBLY “clever” quip during the Vancouver Olympics about how Johnny Weir should have to undergo gender testing? 

    Cis-people very much do get deliberate misgendering used against them as an insult or weapon.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      You are absolutely correct, Patrick.  Which makes that one another addition to the defunct pile of “sad things for everybody.”

      Thanks for reading the list with a critical eye.

  • Leighdaniellewilliams

    How about for number 33 “you can freely claim who you are in relationship to your children”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Deuel/100000180413737 Celeste Deuel

      I agree completely with this! I have family who fully accept the concept of adoptive mothers or there being two mothers in the case of lesbian parents, but will refuse to consider me a mother.

  • Eddie

    There is so much overlap into my world on this list but I am not trans.  I’m an XX butch lesbian and I often have to worry about bathrooms, getting Sir’d and about half the other issues on your list because I do not present at typically female.  It’s much worse when I travel to rural areas.  Staring, threats of violence or just rude remarks shouted from passing cars can be a constant worry or experience.  It is not just a problem in the trans community.  Feminine men and masculine women who are fine with their birth status are not really cis-privileged as you call it.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Thanks for sharing, Eddie.  Do you think a lot of what you described above is because people misdiagnose you as trans?

      • Carolyn in Baltimore

        No. Has nothing to do with trans but has to do with being non-conforming. I also am a soft butch female but obviously a woman due to breasts etc. I am 58 and have been sir’d all my life and occasionally confronted in bathrooms. No one has ever mistaken me for trans. 
        Most of this list applies to anyone not quite marching with the crowd. I have big feet and was told to shop in TV stores, except a transvestite store does not stock my taste in sensible shoes.

      • hukee

        I was thinking about this as I read it. I just don’t think that cis-gendered applies to all of us who identify with the gender title we were given at birth. And I don’t think that this means it’s time to change pronouns. There are a lot of people who are gender non-conforming in appearance, or in how they have never subscribed to the appropriate gender roles for their gender, who don’t identify with a different pronoun. I don’t think this falls in the category of cis-gendered. 
        With this said, there are still points above that apply specifically to transgendered folks and gender non-conforming (especially in pronoun) folks, and I want to be aware of those differences in privilege.

      • Tina / male

        missdiagnosed or not i believe all are worried too much about what others think. u are here and gone tomorrow .i have always got along with girls from school age, i prefered to hang out with them than guys, im a crossdresser that would gender bend ,as u say, as quick as  i had the finances. but i walk as a woman born a guy look straight ahead those that scorn they have more “defects “ than u have. usually i use handycap toilets so i not offend people, especially such as muslim women, and otherwise go home use mine. so again its just opinion on your life thats become your worry, called discrimination .things that are different than the majority always raises eyebrows ,if a blind guy walked by you with a cane i can not imagine you not even setting eyes upon him as he is not majority.

      • Uncle Fergus

        I have cis privilege in that my brain and the body I was born into line up in the current binary overriding setting. I don’t have dysphoria and I’m extremely thankful for that. But, like Eddie, my everyday expression of femaleness is pushing the boundaries of what is societally accepted as female; all my clothes are marketed towards men (except bras), I have barbered hair. I also am only 5’3″ and have breasts. But it only takes 5 minutes to have a look around a big city…there are actually a lot of short men out there! I’m misgendered practically every day – it happened at a hospital appointment yesterday. I dress in a way that is comfortable to me, that fits my identity, which is Butch. I’m not trans. I’m no tiddler either, I’m 41. I’m in a civil partnership. We’ve had a couple of corking emergency room situations too when they realise I’m female (ooh, I’ve never met real lesbians! They don’t exist in my culture etc…I kid you not, while my appendix was merrily rupturing)
        Like Eddie, because of choosing to be comfortable in my skin I do put myself at a certain level of personal risk by default. Public toilets. Bus stops on my own late at night, the usual. Outside a city I’m basically read as a bloke. The world is not always fond of ‘nonconformists’. As I see it, I can’t be any other way and be happy. Like Eddie, if I drew a Venn diagram of this list, there’d a a good deal of commonality. I don’t feel animosity about it, not at all, but I do think that it’s an area where alliances can be made which maybe are being missed. I’m a trans ally myself, my best friend is a trans guy. 

        • Scherbmo

          Yes, alliances! Our strictly binary system of gender in our culture (there are only two genders and girls have to look/dress/act one specific way and boys have to look/dress/act this other specific way) is the driving force behind a lot of the oppression experienced by trans ppeople (although certainly not all of it). But this strict binary system creates suffering for all people who do not present or act the way their assigned gender is “supposed to”, whether or not they identify as trans. The suffering of cis people who don’t present how their gender is “supposed to” is real too, although should not be confused or compared to how trans people suffer (never any points in comparing which type of oppression is worse, especially because there are always some people who experience both). But the point is that fighting to dismantle the binary system of gender in our culture (or at least create a little more breathing room) will help not only trans people but also cis people who break the strict rules of their gender and very much especially help gender queer people.

      • Anna

        There is a term for that: “gender non-conforming” (GNC), and for the purposes of many areas of cis privilege, GNC people are misclassified as “trans” and treated as if they were trans* without reference to their actual gender identity. Because of the conflation of gender identity, gender roles, gender expression, and sexual orientation in US culture, GNC do not actually have cisgender privilege (even if they are cissexual and have cissexual privilege).

    • Axel

      I think that’s the very reason why you should help become allies to transgender people, even if you are not transgender; because you have had a small chunk of the transgender experience. I think that if you helped the transgender people break down the binary system, that you may be able to have those privileges as well. Also, I spent time as a butch and as an androgynous woman, (not my cup of tea), but there was definitely a lot less harassment and discrimination, when I lived like that, then when I told people that I was transgender, or when I started to become the guy, that secretly lived on the inside, and I get bullied a lot more at school, I have way more fears. Instead of arguing that you don’t have cis-privilege how about helping us, making it a safer place for ALL of us.

    • http://www.facebook.com/dave.fancella Dave Fancella

      I have to admit, I’ve been considering the possibility that the “butch lesbian” counts as a separate gender entirely. Have you looked into the Third Gender theories? In India, trans people (mostly MTF) are considered a third gender and put in concentration camps.

      But butch lesbian is interesting, because my experience is that y’all don’t specifically identify as male or female, kind of both. Which is where I sit, but I’m otherwise a straight man (part-time girl :) ).

  • guest

    I love it! But I do think your case would be stronger if you don’t include examples that might also apply to women in general, various ethnic minorities, or to people with atypical bodies in any fashion (e.g. wide feet…don’t fit women’s shoes): 9, 10, 15, 21, 27, 30, 31.

  • Misty Fowler

    I disagree with Number – as a bisexual woman, I’ve often been dismissed by lesbians and gays as “greedy” or “slutty” or (most frequently) “not certain of what I want”.

    • Damiana Swan

      I was once told–by a lawyer!–that because I’m a bisexual woman, I should really be working as a prostitute.

    • Guest

      Seriously, just being femme in a queer community is traumatic. What people who do not present their gender as society expects
       go through in the cis/straight community is what I go through in queer communities. It’s tragic when oppressed groups replicate the power structures of the hegemony.

      • kelsey

        I hear you! As a fellow queer cis femme, it is difficult being invisible or questioned in the queer community, or feeling that your identity is not legit. However, we must realize that we move through the world with a degree of social power and privilege. We CAN access jobs that trans* women cannot, we CAN occupy a lot of public spaces without fear, scrutiny, or harassment. I’m not saying femmes don’t experience oppression, but to suggest that what we experience when other queers question/ignore our sexuality is the same as what trans* people experience when they are out in the world… sorry but I really disagree.

        • radbadriot

          exactly kelsey, once again, derailing, this is about trans people experiencing these things because they are trans, not your cis experience. you know when you’re telling someone something and you know they can’t wait until it’s their turn to talk about themselves again? yeah. obviously all of us (i am cis but don’t outwardly, or inwardly conform to binary gender norms) to don’t conform to gender norms experience different versions of a lot of these things, but that isn’t what this post is about. 

        • Bee

          ^THIS.

    • Grey-Anon

      Hey, I’m Demisexual/Grey-A and I’ve been told I’m not really a part of lgbt+, even though asexuality is and I’m a subcategory. Usually I’m faced with “Just being smart”, although it’s not a choice either.

    • Maria

      I was going to comment on #15, also. I’m a femme bisexual who is constantly having to defend my right to be part of the “queer” community, which has been less of an issue for the trans men and women I know. I’ve been viewed with disgust and disdain, been accused of being greedy, and of being unable to remain monogamous. I have been told several times that I’m not really part of the gay community. I guess people forget about the B in LGBT.

      • the_ether

        I’ve definitely felt implications that I’m ‘less queer’ now that I’ve married a man (I’m a cis bi woman) but as weary as I am of bi exclusion in LGBT circles, I’m disgusted by the transphobia a thousand times more. I’ve heard the opinion that unless a trans person’s presentation is an obvious act, ie drag, they’re actively and maliciously deceiving people.

    • SelkieGirl

      Misty, I see what you are saying, but they are not excluding you because of your gender identity.

    • Avery

      This really isn’t a matter of disagreeing.  That problem affects both the bisexual community and the trans* community.  Please don’t disagree or dismiss this as a cisgender privilege because it happens to affect non-trans* groups in addition to trans* people.  

    • LT

       Agreed, I find that the Queer community does tend to dismiss bisexuals. I’ve heard “just experimenting”, “slutty”, “gay until graduation” etc. On the other side of that, I’ve known people who are trans who don’t WANT to be associated with the Queer community specifically because to the average person, Queer implies gay, and if they identify as straight, they aren’t necessarily interested in being associated

  • Guest

    Excellent list, I’ve shared it!

    To a different extent, and in a different way, some of those things cis-women have to fear as well. Such as not having heart disease diagnosed by doctors (they are hysterical), and being sexually harassed by cops because of their gender (at least where I live). I know women who have been denied apartments for being a single woman so how can they afford it without a husband? 

    I would also add, regarding things like ticking boxes on forms… Truly, what is usually the need to know gender or sex? Why are babies identified pink or blue? Has anyone questioned why we even need that? While being able to check the box is a privilege, because it means you are recognized by society, I maintain that the need to do so puts us all in gender prison and I am in favor of just not doing it. 

  • Riley

    How about “Not having to deal with the hassle of selective service exemption when applying for financial aid in college if you are male”?  As a transman, I had to deal with that and go through all kinds of red tape in order to get my financial aid funds for college. 

  • Elliott

    I am a little confused. When you say “Having your gender as an option on a form,” isn’t that the whole point of being trans? If you are female, despite what one’s body is, shouldn’t you check “female?”

    • Claire

      HI Elliott
      I read that comment as referring to those people who do not identify as male or female but as another gender. Male and female are usually the only options given.

    • Guest

      The trans spectrum is not binary. The whole cis binarism is the PROBLEM. Being genderqueer is also part of the trans spectrum, but genderqueer people are pretty absolutely guaranteed not to be represented at all.

      • the_ether

        In Australia you can now select your gender on your passport without having to show proof of surgery (just a letter from a doc indicating that you are transitioning or intersex) and there is a third option, X (as well as M and F) to indicate that you are both, neither, or other. Not perfect, but much better than it used to be!

  • pxe

    you are not asked to prove that you are who you say you are to random strangers.
    you can present your gender however you want without feeling like it might reflect badly on you or cause people to “read” you.
    you have the privilege of not thinking about what others think about you

  • Vdk9

    “Hollywood accurately depicts people of your gender in films and television, and does not solely make  your identity the focus of a dramatic storyline, or the punchline for a joke” — wait, wait, no.. since when has anyone enjoyed that privilege? 

  • Freethinc Admin

    For those in the LGBTIQ community who may not identify as “trans” but feel they suffer the same issues, please don’t feel excluded.  I have heard trans used very frequently to define ANYONE who does not fit into the typical binary world of cisgendered people.  The problem with umbrella terms in such a diverse community is that no matter how broad, it is still hard to include all individual indentities.  Much love!

  • Yellowrayban

    Not having to worry about which gendered housing you’ll live in on a college campus.

  • Notnecessary

    No accommodations for race/color/religion/looks make this list pandering to people that already feel this way.  The truth is that unless you are an age 19-30 Christian white male, most of this list does not really apply to the general cis population.  Good try at making us, non-cis peoples feel better though.  I respect your intentions.

  • elliott

    It’s interesting to see how this has changed in the last few days, in response to the comments. I like the new image and description at the top.

    A number of these privileges are often restricted to able-bodied, heterosexual/hetero-normative cisgender people. I understand that the goal is to make folks understand and own their privileges, but it still feels like this alienates some of our potential allies.

  • C Spoehr1223

    31.You aren’t segregated into a private hospital room every time you are hospitalized.
    32.You don’t have to explain to others why you identify as male/female rather than “trans”
    33.No one ever says “I meant a REAL man/woman”(i.e.rather than a “Trans woman/man”
    34. You don’t have a life long history of dodging cops and murderers,so that caution is first nature.
    35.YOU MAY HAVE CHILDREN!YOU DON’T HAVE TO ADOPT(assuming that your reproductive system works and that you wish to use it) OR FOSTER WITH ALL THE COMPLICATIONS AND SOMETIMES IMPOSSIBILITIES OF GOING THROUGH THOSE CHALLENGES!

    • Karl S Bolton

      To comment on point 35 of yours, I would clarify that this would depend on what state you live in. For example, laws in Florida it have only recently been changed to allow same sex parents to adopt or foster a child. Also I do not think that adopting or fostering a child as a “nontraditional” family is ever anything less than an utter nightmare.

  • Steph78374

    Being able to participate in a beauty pageant without worrying about being exposed, ridiculed, and harassed by the media.

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  • Alexwhite358

    Being expected to have a special bond with members of your biological sex as opposed to people of your same gender, and being excluded from “guys/girls nights” and other gender-segregated events due to your birth sex.
    Not being able to fully express your gender identity for fear that people will insist you “just need more same sex friends,” or will reject you. Well-meaning friends may insist they can no longer be close friends because “me being your close friend just exacerbates your problem.”

  • Cheetahchick888

    I disagree with #21, I am a cisgender bisexual female who can’t wear women’s shoes. I have a remarkable foot size (11-1/2 men’s 4E) that retail shoes for women do not come in, and forget about any cute dress shoes. I’ve had to wear men’s shoes since I was 17, but luckily most people don’t notice.

  • Karl S Bolton

    Holy crap, does Take Back The Night exclude participants based on gender identity?! That is absolutely unbelievable! How could they possibly justify that.
    I totally feel ya on being excluded in my own way. As if anyone has the right to tell someone they are not a feminist, or queer. And as far as how any GLBTQI could ever exclude another unlike themselves is beyond me. Ugggggg makes me sick! Our culture is so busy puting others into boxes to avoid their own discomfort.
    I would like to say also to those whom feel as though this list is minimalizing others with similar struggles, I would just like to remind you all that with GLBTQI issues there is much overlap. For example effeminate gay men are not considered by many in our society to be “real men” a sentiment which I am sure FTMs are all to familiar with. These things are similar but our stories are all powerfull enough to stand on there own. In this way we are freed to celebrate our differences and our similarities.

    • Rockawayviolence

      Take Back the Night does NOT exclude on the basis of gender identity and is not women only. I am on the board for my local TBTN (we are our own 503c1) and we have men on our board, male volunteers and crisis counselors at our events, and we also make efforts to partner with various orgs like the Human Rights Campaign, the local high school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, and a youth LGBTQ drop in center and leadership program in hopes of being more inclusive and welcoming. However, when TBTNs started (early 70s in the US) it was primarily about violence committed against women by men, and was seen as a women’s event and some women  back then may have expressed anti-male sentiment and wished for only women to march in demonstration of women walking at night (a time of danger) independently without the ‘protection’ of men. Things have changed.  In recent decades, TBTN has in addition to welcoming victims and allies of any gender, has also expanded their plight to include the many forms of sexual violence, domestic violence, and child abuse. I have attended TBTNs in three different counties; each had a mission statement that they welcomed ANYone to join them who was anti-violence. 

  • Tibby

    Cisgender comes up as a misspelled word on many spell checks (Microsoft Word, Facebook, here). This shows to what extent cisgender is considered the default/real/etc gender identity (it doesn’t even need a label!) while transgender is the “other” that must be labeled. 

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  • Kiera

    you don’t get told that being seen by children is confusing and therefor bad for their development

  • Alex

    “9. You have the ability to flirt, engage in courtship, or form a
    relationship and not fear that your biological status may be cause for
    rejection or attack, nor will it cause your partner to question their
    sexual orientation”

    I disagree with this. If someone is genuinely not attracted to trans* people, that is their own personal preference, not a “cisgender privilege”. Yes, it may be confusing for a cisgendered female to be dating a trans*male and have to somehow come to terms with a vagina when they were expecting a penis, therefore causing them to “question their sexual orientation”. 

    #28, being cisgendered and gay, I have faced this. It is not a cisgender privilege, it is a privilege for those whose families: A) Assume they are straight and are correct, or B)Don’t care and therefore no love is lost.

    #30, as I mentioned, I am gay. When my entire family idealizes photos of myself with a date of the opposite gender from grade school, I feel very hurt and embarrassed. Again, not a cisgender privilege.

    • Evil

       #9 – The fact that somebody is trans* has nothing to do with attraction, particularly if one has no idea that the person they are attracted to is trans*.  (And face it, why would they need to know?) You are attracted to somebody then suddenly genitalia enters the picture and it all goes sour – that is cis-privilege.

      #28 – There is a huge difference: You came out as gay and that was it, over; Somebody comes out as trans*… and the process can continue for a great length of time while those around them wonder if and when it will be over or whether one might later change their mind about it.  When has a trans* person, if they are transitioning, officially “stopped” transitioning and made it to where they wanted to be?  How much proof is required to tell your loved ones about it?  What if it was the wrong decision to make and they cannot truly go back?  What if they “de-transition” and need to convince everybody again that they were mistaken?  Unlike experimentation with sexuality it cannot be put down to just a phase one was going through.

      #30 – When your entire family idealises you as BEING somebody of another sex, as BEING a different person entirely, as if the person you were back then no longer exists except in their memories it is a very different thing indeed.  If “Remember that time you used to date women?  I wish you were still like that,” is really embarrassing then take a hard, long look at yourself and instead try on “Remember that time for more than half of your life when you struggled with anxiety, depression and suicide attempts, when you were running away from facing what you really are by trying to become more like what society wanted you to be and it was killing you inside?  I wish you were still like that.”

      You have no idea just how privileged you are, cis- man.  Your family don’t think you are just gay man who doesn’t know how to express yourself – they KNOW you ARE a gay man.  Your family don’t think you are a drag queen, just some crossdresser or some other walking, talking freak show because they don’t understand.  Your family does not confuse your gender with your sexuality.  Your family does not ask you to explain what “gay” is.  Your family and close friends do not slip up and use your birth name instead of your actual name or, worse, deliberately use it because they think they are doing the right thing – in front of other people, which has the potential of unnecessarily “outing” you and leading to strife.  I could go on.

  • guest

    having met someone of the same gender as you when you were a child. having role models and mentors of the same gender as you as a child, adolescent, and through adulthood.

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  • MJ

    I think being able to report domestic violence problems should be on this. Many trans people have to navigate these dangerous situations alone without the support and programs set in place, although already inadequate and mainly for cis women.

  • Olivia Watts

    33.     Being free to play the sport I love in the gender I know myself to be without having to go as far as approaching the national body controlling that sport and, through them, the International Olympic Committee, to gain their permission to play club-level sport on the basis I had taken all reasonable steps to fit my body to the parameters suitable for my claimed gender (ie: surgery and full hormonal treatment and a “qualifying period” of living in my claimed gender) and would not have an advantage over other participants because of my past status.

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  • coco

    The problem with this list is that it assumes that people who are born female and identify as female OR are born male-bodied and identify as male….have their expression of gender be congruent with how the world sees them. Although you may call me “cisgender” I am gender queer and we need to keep in mind that sex and gender are not the same at all. Some people are differently gendered not either or. 

  • Samantha Lococo

    This is disgusting. If you are born male you are a male. If you are born female you are a female. There is no argument. It is pure fact.

    • Samantha Lococo

      I don’t mean to be rude but you are destroying God’s creation if you choose to morph yourself into a male if you are a female and vice versa.

      • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

        Well, if you’re not trying to be rude then your other comment got you started off on an impressively wrong foot.  And what do you have to say about the millions of “God’s” creations that aren’t male or female?

        http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency

      • Evil

        That might be what you believe but it is not what everybody believes.  The thing about faith is that there is no proof – you have no hard evidence with which to back up your claim.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Hahaha – sorry to laugh, but you’re so wrong it’s funny.  And that’s a fact.

      http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency

  • Guest

    Great list! I Totally agree, cisgendered people like myself have a much easier go at it. However, I am going to make a slight objection to    #18 “Hollywood accurately depicts people of your gender in films and television, and does not solely make your identity the focus of a dramatic storyline, or the punchline for a joke.” 
    I dont necessarily think that is true. Women are often portrayed incorrectly in media, either as vapid and unintelligent, or as crazy bitches who can’t control themselves or their emotions. But, ya other than that, great list, I think that people really don’t realize the issues around physical safety that trans-people face every day.

  • guest

    I can’t believe nobody’s directly commented on #13; I just asked a roomful of 7 people across the gender/anatomy spectrum (who all self-identify as female) & every single one has had exactly that happen to them.

  • Joey

    Not having to worry about people saying you are not the gender you are because of how masculine/feminine you are.

  • guest

    It’s kind of scary that a couple of these can also be applied to white privilege.

  • Daria B Johnson

    You (Cis-folk) won’t be asked to show ID to buy cigarettes or alcohol when you’re OBVIOUSLY over 50 and the nosy fucker behind the register just wants to check your ‘legal’ gender.

     

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  • kk

    Thanks for sharing. I’m always interested in furthering this conversation by distinguishing between gender identity and expression. I’m curious as to where individuals who are perceived to be cisgender but do not identify with a gender fit into the conversation. When we say “cisgender” – do we mean identity or appearance?Both?

    I am assumed to be (/”pass as”) a cisgender woman by all communities both queer and normative, and my anatomical body is in alignment with that perception. Since cis privileges are based on an assumption that doesn’t align with my sense of self, however (I identify as neither male nor female, as gender queer or agender), it feels a bit more complicated to talk about. I often wonder whether “perceived cisgender” might be a more appropriate term to use, or distinction to include when discussing cis privilege, in an effort to recognize the labeling and assumptions inherent in the privileges/safetys. While I absolutely don’t wish to parallel my experience with those who are aggressively policed for their expression, it feels silencing to have the regular assumption of a cis identity reinforced by my queer peers based on what is seen as a cis expression. Sounds like semantics but is a daily source of invisibility for me.

  • Barbara

    I wish there were a way to emphasize each and every point on this list–especially the fear, anxiety and threat of physical violence. I am a ciswoman, member of a minority group, and a professor. I had a student who was in the process of making her transition while in my semester-long class. Because of my minority status, I could empathize with some of her concerns but not all. The city where we were was/ is pretty homogenous and heterosexual. The thing that I noticed was the level of courage it took to match her outward appearance with her self-image and perception. She had many male characteristics as she had just started a hormone regimen with the intent of eventually having surgery to make her transition more complete. Her family had outright rejected her: in a hateful way, I might add. I cannot imagine anyone rejecting their child, but they did. I wish I could have better known how to help, but the level of discrimination, threats and general social misunderstanding was so far beyond my own experience. She was a second semester senior, so she was moving on after that semester. I reflect on my teaching and hoped that I did well by her. I think of her and wonder how she is now, but I definitely understand her need for her change to be a big one once she finished her degree (name change and all).

  • Caitlin_bier_4

    Not having to explain your identity to everyone you meet because they don’t understand what it means.

    • Evil

       Furthermore, not having to disclose in the first place!

  • Caitlin_bier_4

    Also not being questioned about your sexual orientation

  • GC

    As a ciswoman, I can check off “female” on the security section of the form when I buy airline tickets online to travel abroad, and I know I can pass through security without worrying about being treated as a risk because my identity doesn’t match the paperwork I travel with. I don’t know if someone else already posted about this and I missed it, but to me this is huge. 

  • Evil

    -Being able to get a passport that accurately reflects your sex.
    -Not being arrested when travelling on a passport that incorrectly identifies your sex.
    -Not being detained or penalised unjustly for entering a country that considers you to be illegal based on your sex or gender identity.
    -People not basing the entirety of your identity on your gender expression.

  • Luc

    “You don’t have to deal with old photographs that did not reflect who you truly are.” – That’s too general to really be true. For example, people who have notable differences in weight from childhood often have to deal with this. There are many things people assume about people of one weight that they don’t of another. And you can look and be treated very differently.

  • Alexa D

    Not all Take Back the Night events are gender-exclusive, but good point with those examples. 

  • SJ

    I’m cisgendered.  I don’t have all of these.

  • Legitinately Uncaring Citizen

    fail to se the relevance of this article to anything or anyone other than the tiny introvert audience that it aparrently represents. Don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate anyone. i simply don’t give a frak.
    My suggestion: move to thailand.

  • Anon

    Number 11 is not an accurate representation of the clinical psychological community.  Being transgender is NOT the important criterion for diagnosis of GID.  The key criterion is “Significant clinical discomfort or impairment at work, social situations, or other important life areas”.  What this means is that GID is a diagnosis when someone experiences anxiety, depression, or other major psychological problems which may be effectively treated by addressing the difficulties the individual is facing associated with their gender identity.  It’s not that some is trans that is the basis for a GID diagnosis, it’s that all of the shit that they have to deal with because they are trans (everything on this list) leads them to experience severe anxiety and depression for which they seek psychological therapy.  It is a key point emphasized in professional clinical guidelines that identification with another gender is NOT sufficient for a GID diagnosis.  Only when significant impairment is otherwise present is GID appropriate.  It is much more accurate to think of GID as a specific kind of depression or anxiety which can be helped by addressing practical issues related to an individual’s gender identity.

  • Katie Harris

    Here is another: cisgenders never have to agonize/be scared/judged by their new roommates at camp/university/billeting situation, or never have to contact the organizers to explain their gender and needs prior to finding basic accomodation.

  • K Sier

    33. You know that you can travel internationally without fear of a) humiliation in the airport because the marker on your passport does not match your gender expression, b) persecution or death because the country you travel to may view being trans as “illegal”

  • Leisan

    I have friends who are straight, gay, trans, bi, straight crossdressers, everything.  It’s true that most things are more difficult for anyone outside a narrow “norm”.  On the lighter side though, some of those apply to me as well – try being a straight female who is overweight and has size 11 feet!  But that doesn’t diminish any of the issues you bring up on your list and I was pleased to read it.

    • Evil

       Thank you. x

  • Wren

    I totally respond and agree with the issues, but feel like some of these are kind of stretching it a bit. There are PLENTY of people who don’t have gender issues who have wanted to and have changed their name only to be met with disrespect, incredulity, and just utter contempt. A lot of people recoil from this for some reason, and it can be incredibly frustrating, because they think they have a right to know and call you by a name that is really none of their business, especially if it is something you haven’t responded to in years. They dismiss you like you don’t know what you’re talking about, and couldn’t possibly be serious, as if it’s really just some play for attention. Like you are somehow less of a person because you’ve decided to change your name. It’s so petty, and strange, I’ve never understood it. But that’s just how it is, for ‘normal’ people, and not ‘normal’ people alike.

    • Evil

      Put it this way, Wren: if a woman changes her name from Joanne to Kate, that is one thing but if she changes is from Joanna to Matthew then that is met with true contempt.  Similarly if a man changes his name from John to Davina.  It is on a completely different level.

      • Wren

        No, I completely understand that. But I’m saying, it really doesn’t matter what you want to change the name too, there is still a huge level of disrespect and contempt that goes along with it. I know this because I’ve gone through it. My name change wasn’t particularly ground breaking I would have thought, but people still responded to me in surprisingly negative ways, as if it were any of their business.

        Now that is not to say there isn’t another level of crap that goes along with changing names that regard to a gender change, but to say that it’s nothing to just change your name is incorrect. People don’t like it because you are changing solid immutable facts in their world and they respond with violence be it verbal or otherwise.

        • Evil

          Yet people do not identity your change of name with you becoming a different person.  When body building 220lbs Brian becomes a slender 130lbs Briony (that you may even inadvertently find yourself attracted to) it has a completely different effect on many people.  It has an effect on this example on how Briony is treated by just about everyone, doubly so for those who knew her as Brian.  Congratulations, Briony, you just became a second-class citizen!  (Or worse, because you are trans you might even be classed as lower than that.)  Sorry, Briony but nobody gives a hang about you now and the reputation you built up as Brian counts for absolutely naught – particularly since you have to strive to prove you were that guy even though it is probably the last thing you want to do given how much you have done to distance yourself from being Brian.

          Not similar.

  • Dawn

    “You can access gender exclusive spaces…”  As a cis-woman, I still can’t become a Freemason, even entry level. I do not support or agree with events and clubs that exclude. It strikes me as discrimination, and reverse discrimination is just as bad.

    • Evil

      Conversely, as a trans-woman I do not want to be judged or discriminated against for entering a womens changeroom in a department store, a womens shelter because I have been evicted/raped/abused or be leered at hatefully (or worse) for using a mixes/mens gym because i was barred from a women-only gym.  We need safe spaces too.

      • Dawn

        Evil, I agree completely. My point was simply that discriminatory exclusion exists everywhere, including against cisgender people, and I find it abhorent. The fact that the Michigan festival excludes trans women is discriminatory in my eyes, as well as shelters that turn away trans women. I hate the fact that every time I see my transgender spouse go into the women’s room, I sit there worrying until she comes back out. And I hope that we can all someday see that we all have experiences that join us, not divide.

  • Nadia

    These are possibly more directed towards transgender and people who do not feel fully FTM or MTF (but may feel genderqueer, androgynous, bigendered, genderless, or something else etc.)…but I thought they should be included anyway, since we do fall under the “transgender umbrella”:

    When you provide your birth name for legal purposes, the first comment you receive is not “What kind of name is ____ for a boy/girl?”When you go up to the counter to order a coffee, the barista does not say: “What would you like to drink, sir–ma’am–sir? Ma’am? Sir? Ma’am?”You have never had a customer service person pick one gender–”and what would she/he like to have?”–and then had your relative promptly correct them–”She’s a GIRL!”/”He’s a BOY!”When you’re in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and your name gets called, whether you checked M and “Mr.” gets used, or checked F and “Ms.” gets used, in either case, it feels right.When you have a conversation with more than one person, all of the people in the conversation can agree on one pronoun.
    When you are speaking a foreign language that encodes female- or male-gender into verbs, adjectives, or pronouns, which form to use is an obvious choice for you. 
    Growing up, your extended family could guess what kinds of toys you were interested in most of the time.
    Growing up, your parents let you decide what you want to wear within reason, and choosing what to wear was never a great source pain and discord.
    People never ask you if you are the way you are, or worse, assume you are, because you were sexually abused.
    Your friends and family do not feel the need to psychoanalyze your gender identity, and by proxy, your sexual orientation (since, while they are not the same, most of the terms used for sexual orientation are based on having a defined male/female gender–”gay”, “straight”, and “bisexual” assume that you fall into the gender binary and are attracted to people who fall into the gender binary).

  • BZ

    I really appreciate this– thank you for creating it. Will be sharing this.
    One comment– I have been going to Take Back the Night events for almost a decade and have never seen any whiff of gender exclusion. I’m not sure why this is listed as it is the exact opposite of a gender exclusive space– it is a space that welcomes everyone to come together to share and listen no matter their gender, age, experience, etc.

    • Evil

      Good point… but have you ever met a radical extremist “feminist” such as Germaine Greer?  Mark my words can she stir a crowd to hatred.

  • Jennell

    You don’t have to come up with clever names that your children can use for you so as not to “out” yourself in public or intrude on their other parent’s identity.

  • guest

    Hey, cool list! Just FYI, at least some Take Back the Night rallies are now including people of all genders; I know because I just participated in one. So, a little bit of progress.

  • http://twitter.com/widdershins_cat Katie B

    I would edit #4: 
    Your social viability as a man/woman/human is not based on how much surgery you’ve had or how well you “pass” as non-transgender. The validity of my womanhood has NO bearing on how well or how poorly I “pass” as non-transgender.

  • Zach

    This is really good, but we should remember that lots of cisgendered people could easily take issue with Hollywood portrayals of their gender (#18) or feel that (for a million reasons) old photographs don’t accurately represent who they are(#30). This list is a good wake-up call to people who don’t encounter the kinds of problems and discrimination outlined here, but it can be dangerous to assume that because someone doesn’t have the same set of problems or anxieties as we do that their life is easy in all the ways ours isn’t.

  • Andy D.

    a) You do not have to hide large bits of your personal history from other people because of your gender.
    b) You can feel comfortable connecting with older and more conservative people in your community.
    c) You do not have to hide medications that you’re taking from your insurance company for fear of losing coverage.
    d) You can feel comfortable fitting in with a new group of people without worrying whether they will judge you on your gender identity or mispronoun you.

    • Andy D.

      Also, you probably don’t have to worry about being mistreated by EMTs after being a victim of violence, or any other kind of injury.

  • Matt

    I really liked this article. And after reading a lot of the comments below I’m just a touch annoyed. Why do we have to pick apart the struggles that people go through? I think we can all agree that there will never be a list of ANYTHING that completely matches what any one “group” goes through without some cross over into another group. It’s generalizing, and taking the average percs of a cisgendered person over a non-gender conforming individuals experience. Besides why not instead of just saying “oh I disagree” or “you’re wrong” and say “oh hey I’ve experienced a similar experience like this…(explain)zzz and it really sucked so I can sympathize” why are we always trying to fight and separate? Let’s be a community.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Encore!

  • lynda

    I do not agree w/ over half of this ‘list’. Dress appropriately and you won’t be considered a sex worker… I have never had to remind my family to use correct pronouns… I have never had one issue with bathroom use… I do not fear interaction w/ the police… No one has questioned me when I place the check mark in the ‘female’ box… I can find numerous role models, and they do not have to be trans… People of color are profiled all the time… I get all the medical care I have asked for and I have yet to see any psychologist… Quit being a victim, start living w/ dignity and respect for yourself and compassion for others…

    • http://twitter.com/stillettoangel StillettoAngel

      I think that, just because you have not experienced some of the items on the list does not invalidate them. I doubt anyone will have experienced all of them, but all of these items will have been experienced by many trans people. Erasing other people’s experiences does not help anyone “quit being a victim” or “Live with dignity” and suggests that you do not respect their life experiences.

    • http://twitter.com/belfire86 Charley Hasted

       And yet Lynda I have had all those issues and more. That you haven’t makes you LUCKY rather than the list inaccurate. Recognise how lucky you are and clearly how amazingly accepting the people you have close to you are rather than dismissing the experiences of those of us who aren’t so lucky.

    • Ashleigh

      I could not agree more!

    • TransZack

      and a lack of compassion for those who aren’t as fortunate as you is quite sad. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/rogi.riverstone Rogi Riverstone

       Are you a low-income person of color? Do you transport yourself by private vehicle or public transportation, or on foot? Are you saying Trans* folk who are profiled as sex workers had it coming? Really? You’re that naive? Snotty much?

    • Evil

      Yeah, tell those sluts what for!  If they dressed appropriately they would not get harassed or raped!  Do not kid me, lynda: there is no such thing as dressing appropriately except when it comes to wearing a uniform.  For shame.

    • Carri Nation

      I completely agree with Lynda! I am a 6’5″ bi-racial trans-woman and have NO problems. Yes, people gawk and stare but it’s because you don’t see someone like me on a daily basis. Regardless of what I feel like inside this is the ate that I’ve chosen as well as everything that comes with it. What you put out is what you get back!

    • SplashChick

      Cool, you haven’t experienced these forms of bigotry so clearly they don’t exist! Thank you for demonstrating why transpeople are marginalized so much. You are a true idiot.

    • Alex

      I have had forms returned to me, telling me I’ve lied. Nobody uses the correct pronouns for me, and hospital visits are horrible, invading procedures, where even the doctors think it’s okay to question my gender. YOUR life isn’t MY life, and having to deal with these every single day doesn’t mean i’m trying to be a victim.

    • Diane

       Lynda – my experience is like yours pretty much.  This does not change the fact that I know a LOT of transwomen who have those problems frequently, and in some cases daily.  Just as an example, I dress very conservatively.  I’m a teacher – it’s sort of required.  I have a friend with almost the exact same taste, and she has been harassed as a prostitute, sometimes by the police.  There are a lot of transwomen who use prostitution to pay for surgery, and quite a few people assume that’s the norm for us.  It’s not a matter of victimhood.  It’s a matter of reality.

    • Jcb9

      As another transgender person with plenty of dignity and compassion, I have experienced many items on this list. I must say that just because you have not experienced particular things doesn’t invalidate them and others who go through them. It’s wonderful, seriously, that your experience doesn’t seem to be dogged by many things other trans* people have to put up with. But we aren’t all that lucky.

    • http://www.facebook.com/christinaclowes Chris Clowes

      Wow! Just because you aspire to fit to some imaginary gender binary role and think your shit doesn’t stink, doesn’t mean that everyone else does. Quit being a total ignorant conceited asshole!

    • Nia

      Well, hun, that’s another spectrum, called Passing Privilege As a trans woman with very wide shoulders, I have to always worry about restrooms, about the check boxes, about the police (having an officer living 6 houses down my street, I still freak out seeing the cruiser drive by our house). You also have a way more accepting and adaptable family than most. My father still uses the wrong pronoun and name, and it’s been 5-6 months now. Only my mother gets it right every single time. And, not only that, but when my brother was told, by my father who I did not say he could, my brothers reply was “Did I not beat him enough?”

      You are one of the lucky ones. Congradulations.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Deuel/100000180413737 Celeste Deuel

      Congratulations on being lucky? Just because some of us have passing privilege doesn’t mean we get to turn around and treat poorly those who don’t. I can go in public and pass without problems(assuming photo ID isn’t brought into the equation :( ), but I still have problems with misgendering with immediately family because they can be stubborn and refuse to see me as a woman even when the outside world recognizes me as one.

  • chemicalginger

    Bravo. My only revision–#16, “If you are murdered (or have any crime committed against you), your gender expression will not be used as a justification for your murder (“gay panic”) nor as a reason to coddle your perpetrators”– perpetrators refers to the perpetrators of the crime, not the perpetrators of “you” (the victim). 

    Just something that caught me up while reading; could be fixed with a simple “the” instead of “your”.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      Love the simple fixes :)

  • MischievousBastard

    You’ve never taken a beating for your gender presentation.  

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001247857312 Kriss PurpleLion Murray

    How about being able to walk out to a car without having young punks break out in song “My “Girl”" because they’ve “read” you and high-five each other because they got the “joke”. This really happened to me the other day and I’ve been transitioning for four years and “pass” 100%.

  • Julia Zion

    How about not having to use another name you don’t identify for legal uses, especially being told you are minor who your legal name says you are. At the same time, you have to prove that you are that legal name when the opposite is what you’d like to do.

  • Davi5

    This article is littered with genralisations, so much so it is offensive to both transgender and cisgender. It excludes ethnicity, class, individuality, and quarrels in political climates. A poor way to raise awareness is too attack other groups which I feel this piece does, maybe the emphasis should shift onto breaking down the barriers and looking for support on all sides of the spectrum. Progress only comes from shifting and introducing new ideas; not enforcing stereotypical old ones. Spend more time in helping shift paradigms.

    • TransZack

      What are you doing to spend your time in helping shift paradigms, what is your Blog, Webiste, Business ….?

      • just saying

         he may not be doing anything, but the point he’s making is that making a situation worse and attacking others is both worse than doing nothing and makes you just as bad as the people you are bad mouthing.

        • http://joryuu.tumblr.com/ Sarah Jeanne Lombardo

          Bad-mouthing someone is the process of insulting and degrading someone’s reputation with the hopes a group of people will ostracize that person–it is not saying some people are more likely to experience certain privileges, or be granted more access and agency, because of their gender identity. Furthermore, attacking someone is the process of harming someone–physically, verbally, emotionally. Again, not the same as stating that some folks experience privilege.

          If you feel uncomfortable or guilty about privileges, that’s a shitty feeling, but these privileges are part of our reality–and if you don’t like that reality, then work to change it. 

          Which leads me to my second point: stating “trans people feel less comfortable going to a bathroom while cis people feel more comfortable” is not “making the situation worse”: it’s identifying a problem–and problems cannot be solved until they are identified. Instead of silencing this important conversation–which is truly “doing nothing”–help make change by becoming allies to trans* folks: pointing out to cis people when
          they are privileging other cis people at the expense of trans people.
          Point out that trans people deserve the same “privileges” and rights as
          cis people. Continue the dialogue started here.

      • Davi5

        I live my my life embracing all those I meet with upmost respect to their individuality. Thats what I do. As far as shifting paradigms, well, I am working on that too through my studies and looking to eventually complete my PhD.

  • Nadia

    I think all the cis people who are saying–”wait a minute, I don’t have these privileges”–should keep in mind that it is most likely because you don’t completely fit the stereotypical male/female. Without trying to force a label on you, in a way you are “genderqueer” (whether you want to embrace that label is up to you, but I am using it here to describe anyone who does not fit the gender norm). And in that case, in a way you can relate to the same issues transgender and transsexual people go through. I’m not full-blown FTM but I can relate to a lot of FTM issues as someone who is genderqueer. I think in a lot of ways the cis-identified people who don’t completely fall into male/female roles just proves the fact that list not only applies to cis people, but cis people who fall strictly within socially-defined gender boundaries. Even a lot of cis people aren’t “cis enough” to benefit from “cis privilege”. Rather than feeling insulted, I would take it as just further proof of the kind of things anyone who doesn’t present 110% male or female go through.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Smith/548594192 Chris Smith

    Wow, like, 80% of this comments thread is cis people valiantly pointing out that not all cis people experience all of these privileges all of the time (or that not all trans people are denied all of these privileges all of the time). Nicely derailed, A++, would troll again.

    That’s the thing about talking about privilege though. It’s about systematic structures, not individual experiences. Cis people may sometimes be denied some of these privileges, but they will not be denied them /because they are cis/. Similarly, some (probably most) trans people are awarded some of these priveleges some of the time, but this is /despite/ being trans.

    • Evil

      Very true, Chris.

    • Reb

      “That’s the thing about talking about privilege though. It’s about systematic structures, not individual experiences.”
      THIS. Yes. Acknowledging one’s own power and privilege displays the humility necessary to be an ally – denying one’s own participation in systemic oppression, even if/when it’s beyond one’s individual “choice,” is nothing short of arrogant and short-sighted. 

      • Ryan Carrillo

        I don’t feel guilty at all about being born a western world “cis” male. I don’t have power or privilege, I have to eek out a living by myself like everyone else. I get abuse for being a man, for being short, for no reason other than some asshole wanted to attack someone that day.

        Please explain how I’m participating in a system of oppression? Explain this non-existent privilege I have. Just because someone isn’t making fun of me because of my sex i’m privileged? (I have received abuse for being male)
        This whole idea of systemic oppression is a joke and a complete lack of understanding the real world. EVERYONE gets abuse throughout their life.

        • Lee Solomon

          “Just because someone isn’t making fun of me because of my sex i’m privileged?” Yes, actually, because people don’t view it as a person’s right not to be negatively questioned, attacked, or harrassed in any way, shape, or form about their gender. If you agree that everybody has this right, then you’re an ally. If you disagree, then you not only are an ally and a perpetuator, but refuse to acknowledge your privilege.
          And: “This whole idea of systemic oppression is a joke and a complete lack of understanding the real world.” That is certainly what they would rather you believe, because that makes it much easier to keep you oppressed. Also, they say the same thing about race/racism. Hmmm…
          And: “EVERYONE gets abuse throughout their life.” Which certainly doesn’t justify it. Moreover, some people are abused more than others. E.g. a black trans*woman will undoubtedly receive a great deal more abuse in her lifetime than a white cisman.
          I don’t want to invalidate, downplay, or trivialize your experience of oppression. You do not deserve to be attacked, abused, or humiliated in any way. You are a human being and have the right to experience love and live free from hate and violence. You also don’t have to feel guilty about identifying as cismale, any more than I should feel guilty about identifying as genderqueer. You can’t help where you’re born, or who you’re born as; but you can decide what to do with the power you’re given. “With great power comes great responsibility”, or just “with power comes responsibility”.

          • Ryan Carrillo

            Everybody should be criticized for any reason. That’s called freedom of speech. I would rather have to deal with an asshole saying something stupid than a government telling me what I can and cannot say.

            And as a straight male I have faced insults for being a man. So your entire premise that I’m privileged is a complete “farce”

            On a side note, this stupid “ally” garbage. I’m not anyone’s ally, just because I don’t make fun of you for being gay doesn’t mean I can find some other reason to hate you ;)

          • Astrid86

            Ryan, quick question- how many times in your life have you been threatened to be beaten, raped and murdered? I’ve lost count, those random threats started when I was six years old and it still happens on occasion in my late twenties.
            Or have you had some guy try to drag you into a restroom? How about that time when you were fifteen that you actually went to the police to file a complaint and was told it was your fault because you shouldn’t be dressed that way? btw when that happened to me I was wearing jeans, T-shirt and a pair of hiking boots- not exactly sluts ‘r’ us.
            How about that time in the 3rd grade where you were jumped and beaten in the rest room by older kids you didn’t know who threatened to kill you if you ever stepped foot in the boy’s toilets again?
            I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point. We’re not talking about freedom of speech here, we are talking about crimes being committed but justified by society on the whole- yes funnily enough threatening to slit someone’s throat is illegal, threatening to rape someone to teach them a “lesson” is also illegal, as is raping, bashing and actually trying to kill someone is, but if its a trans person well “they deserve what they get” according to most people including law enforcement, who are supposed to serve and protect. Its just lucky for me, I’ve learnt to serve and protect myself.

    • Ratiug85

      so what happens when a transgender “woman” is incarcerated? where should they place her? female prison, male prison? someone please let me know without getting mad at me. I just need to know.

      • korla

        This is timely.  Read up and keep an eye on the CeCe McDonald case currently unfolding in Minneapolis.  Colorlines has done a good job reporting on its progression: http://colorlines.com/archives/2012/06/when_it_comes_to_where_cece_mcdonald_will_serve_her_time_the_devil_is_in_the_details.html

        There are many layers of racism and transphobia involved in this case, but the immediate question (as she was just sentenced this week) is whether she will serve her time in a men’s or women’s prison. 

        This is also a fair question – a good one, even, in illustrating the box
        we’ve painted ourselves into in systematizing an understanding of gender
        that has room for two exact genders.

        One quote that struck me in the Colorlines article was this: “From a detention point of view, the assumption is that transwomen are
        men and transmen are women. The basic idea is that if you have a penis,
        you will commit sexual assault.”
          I know many, many people who have penises and are in no way rapists.  This is one of the many examples in which gender, genetialia, sex, behavior, etc. show us that correlation does not equal causation.  The really rigid gender structures that we currently (try to) operate within hurt all of us – in different ways and some of us MUCH more than others, but it is an insidious cycle. 

        Keep an eye on CeCe’s case.  It speaks directly to your question.  (And it’s not necessarily a question where the answer will always be clear or easy.)  Also, just as a thought, watch the scare quotes.  A transgender woman is a woman – no quotes necessary.  :)

        • http://www.facebook.com/crystal.a.newman.7 Crystal Arseneault Newman

          its not about just sex acts. we segregate the sexes in jails excreta for safety. anyone perceived as weaker in a society where weakness it fed upon is going to be in trouble. i’m not sure where CeCe should go. i think what the world needs to realize is sometimes whether you fit the “mold” or not you have to conform. maybe if CeCe hadn’t broken the law and had stayed on the straight and narrow i would be more sympathetic to this cause. Not everyone can have eqaul uniqueness in a society it just doesn’t work. The majority still rules. I think what lists like this do is make it seem like the people being compared to have it perfect. Which is hardly the case. We have to define ourselves somehow for structure, everybody doesn’t fit in somewhere.

          • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

            Do you think they should segregate among the sexes themselves? Like should they put a tiny little 5’0 90 lb man in with big 6’0 250 lb men?

          • http://www.facebook.com/katie.l.berger Katie Berger Tremaine

            “maybe if CeCe hadn’t broken the law” she’d be in a fucking coffin right now.

          • parkwood1920

            CeCe was defending herself from a violent hate crime by two racist transphobic assailants, and she got slashed in the face during the assault. She had already survived several violent attacks before that. Nice for you to be all judgmental when it’s not your face being cut with a broken bottle.

          • femme

            Maybe if some people we’re attempting to cause harm to CeCe she wouldn’t have had to “break the law” In fact it wasn’t her that was breaking that law, that is if you believe a person has the right to defend themselves femme

          • LaneTurtle

            So protecting yourself is breaking the law now??? If CeCe were a cisgender woman and had protected herself from a sexual assault, she would be praised for standing up for herself….. Transphobia itself has created the position that CeCe is in….. SHE DID NOT BREAK THE LAW! SHE WANTED TO STAY ALIVE, DUH? WOULDN’T YOU?!?!?!?!

          • https://www.facebook.com/danah.gaz danah gaz

            Yeah, that jerk totally shouldn’t have gone and broke the law by fighting back when she was attacked.

        • Seraphim

          I’m a cis woman but I just wanted to say that I think the chances of a transwoman raping another woman is slim. I mean, typically aren’t they disgusted by their male parts? Why would they want to “use” them on another woman? Maybe I’m wrong..I just personally found the articles comment of penis = rape offensive and insulting.

          • Lee Solomon

            Not necessarily; not all non-cisgender persons experience body dysphoria.

          • cbustin

            Rape is not about sex. Rape is about power, domination and humiliation. Unfortunately some people are perpetrators regardless of orientation or gender.

          • https://www.facebook.com/danah.gaz danah gaz

            The important question is “why would someone automatically decide that rape is a factor in this situation?”

            The only reasonable assumption to be made here is that such a thing stems from the mentality that “penis = rape” or that trans women are maybe especially “rapey” compared to the rest of population.

            Either way, it’s bullshit, and Seraphim wasn’t wrong to go ahead and assume that this had to do with the shape of a trans person’s genitals.

        • Claire

          Wow. I must admit that I am struggling with this issue, but for concern over her safety. As pointed out, the separation is mostly to prevent sexual assault, harassment, and indecency.

          While sexual assault is admittedly less of a concern regarding CeCe, what would happen if a transgender man were incarcerated? There are rumors upon rumors of men assaulting men in prison. Would a transgender man not be concerned about discrimination and being singled out for sexual assault?

          Won’t this angle have to be considered in CeCe’s case, since it will set the stage for future similar incidents? How will it impact the final decision?

      • Tark M.

        why do you feel the need to put the word woman in quotes? a transwoman is a woman, not a “woman.”

        • Robert

          It was probably an easy way to talk about someone who may not have made the full transition yet, biologically. Getting upset at someone who is genuinely curious about transgendered people and what that means is NOT the way to go. It discourages communication, and that is essential to this movement.

          • witchbyrd

            trans women who take no hormones and have no surgery (either due to lack of funds, accessibility, or simply lack of desire) are still women. ‘trans’ and ‘transition’ are slightly misleading terms, as all people who are not cisgendered do not wish to make a full ‘transition’ from one gender to another, and the term also implies that there will be a point where the ‘transition’ is complete and everything is over, which is not true for all people who ID as trans (either because of their own feelings or because of transphobic people insisting that they aren’t doing enough/can never do enough to change).

            frustration and anger and annoyance at dehumanizing language is appropriate and normal; dehumanizing language from someone who is “learning” is more damaging to ‘this movement’ than trans people being upset by said language.

      • Bear

        Without getting mad: it all depends on where she is. In a place that is humane, we’d hope, she’d be placed with the female population and would continue to have access to good medical treatment (hormones, etc.).

        The reality is she may well be placed with the male population, be denied access to medical treatment and be subject to physical and sexual violence. Clearly, that’s bad.

        If you’re wanting to refer to both a persons biological sex and their gender identity there’s a couple ways to do this: transgender woman is fine (without the quotes) probably best, MTF vs. cisgendered woman to distinguish between a woman who has transitioned and one who was born female could work too.

      • SamOfTheChalk

        In the United States, people are assigned to detention centres based on their genitalia. If you are post-operative, you will be assigned to the detention centre that matches your transition gender, if you are pre- or non-operative, you’ll be assigned to the detention centre that matches your birth gender.

    • http://www.facebook.com/hemaywemay Saybe Cantuberries

      Exactly!

    • Bear

      I think there is a serious a valid claim in pointing out that not all cis-people experience the same privilege and not all trans-people experience the same lack of privilege.

      The intersection of our race, class, gender, sex, sexuality and more are what determine the type(s) of privilege we experience in society. And while its’s useful to point out the ways in which a given group (generally) experiences a set of privileges (there’s a great one for unpacking white privilege too); it can really limit the conversation when speaking to different oppressed groups.

      So yeah, my brother might not fear the police because he’s a cis-man specifically, but he still has to fear the police. Because, you’re right: it’s about systematic structures, not individual experiences. And our system is set up to give people within certain groups access to certain sets of privileges; a white person will experience a certain level of/access to privilege that is different than a person of color – regardless of their spot on the sex/gender/sexuality matrix.

      It all depends on who you’re comparing.

    • John Publik

      GROW THE FUCK UP, CLOWNS

  • Anna

    As a cis-woman I hate to see people derailing this article in the comments and can say that I do agree with everything the author has written. Whether you dislike the term ‘privellge’ or have a knee jerk reaction to it, cis-gendered people like myself should clearly be able to see from these alone  that we *do* have privillege when actually these things (1-31) are something everyone is entiltled to-not just those of us who are cis-gendered.

  • Robofish

    This article is well-meaning, and enlightening to many I’m sure. But unfortunately it overstates the advantages to cisgender people, at least some of whom are affected by some of these problems as well. e.g.:
    - Many cisgender women get gawked at and harassed on the street.
    - Many cisgender gay people have also experienced harassment and violence for simply trying to express their sexuality or relationship status in public.
    - Plenty of cisgendered people get used as a punchline by Hollywood, such as fat people, members of minority ethnic groups, and people with disabilities.

    My only point is this: society is not divided into two groups, ‘privileged people’ and ‘oppressed people’. It’s a complex network of intersectional prejudices, and many people are affected by more than one. Yes, *generally speaking*, all else being equal, transgendered people have it worse off, but don’t assume all cisgendered people are having such an awesome time either.

    • TransZack

      Sexuality and gender identity and expression are 2 different things. I think you missed the point.

    • Nadia

      I understand what you’re saying, and in real life, there are always a million things factoring into every event that happens and every decision that is made. My disability “exempts” me from the need to worry about the bathroom issue–people just assume I picked the wrong one by accident. There’s an example of disability and gender identity simultaneously factoring into an experience. That said, right now we are talking about the transgender community, and “bathroom anxiety” is a very common day-to-day experience within the trans community. I do not experience that myself, but I also know that I’m the exception. Most of the things that cis people here have listed as privileges they do not benefit from (“I wear size ten!”) are also exceptions. There will always be exceptions, but that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge the trends and correlations that are there. And sometimes we can’t talk about all communities all at once, all the time. There are times we have to narrow down the topic a little, and this blog post focuses on trans issues. There are other spaces where issues such as “being trans within the deaf community” are discussed, and in those spaces we can focus on how two or more identities intersect.

      • Robofish

         Fair enough. I think I did leap in a bit too quickly to criticise this post, and I apologise for that. I also didn’t notice that Chris Smith had basically already addressed the point I was making in his comment. Oops.

        This is a good list, and I recognise the point that even if it’s not all true for every cisgender person most of it is true for most of us. (As it happens, as an ablebodied straight cis male, I have to admit that it does all apply to me anyway.)

        • tara

          I think your criticism is completely valid. I don’t want to stigatise people on other grounds in criticising cis privilege

    • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

      That’s the thing, usually when a cis-gendered woman *as you mentioned* gets harrassed and gawked at, she has a million ppl there to defend her, and 20 white knight men will jump out and say, “Hey you need to leave this little lady alone or you’ll have ME to deal with.” Most ppl dont do that for us trans women, most ppl just SIT THERE a let us get beaten up, harrassed, etc.. And they act almost ashamed to help us. Look at the old woman on the bus who was getting harrassed and bullied by the kids, she has gotten all kinds of attention and support and ppl have sent her almost a MILLION dollars in donations. The look at Chrissy Polis the transgendered girl who got beaten into a seizure at the Baltimor McDonalds, NOTHING was done for her, no donations or anything. See the difference?

      • lesbeasian

        million of people to defend her? if that was the case, “cis” women wouldn’t be harrased day in day out while people sit and watch or is silent about, but that is far from true. When people harass trans women, they are not harassing because of the fact that they are trans, but because they are women. women in patriarchy are the lesser group, which is why effeminate males get harassed because they are acting too much like what a woman is supposed to act like. And cis woman who are lesbian gender non-conforming and identify as female, get weird looks, confused or angry stares when entering bathrooms, and randomly just about everywhere we go.

        • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

          I’m just saying if a KNOWN trans woman got jumped by a bunch of men, and a cis woman got jumped by a bunch of men, honestly WHO do you think would get the most help? Who everyone automatically run to to defend? And who do you think would be looked at as, “it’s not that big a deal” B/c really underneth that dress we are big strong MEN who should be able to defned ourselves, that is what so many ppl said about poor Chrissy Polis who got jumped inthe Baltimor McDonalds. Ppl were saying well she was born with a penis she should have been able to defend herself and if she can’t…. TOO BAD! That is SOO WRONG!!!!

        • parker

          straight up wrong trans women get harassed because they are ‘lying’ and ‘pretending’ to be women (obviously they arent but people are ignorant). in addition to because they are women.

          • Awiseman

            a straight male doesn’t want to be with a biological male, and that is his right. You having a structure that resembles a vagina but is nothing more than something a doctor has made doesn’t make you a woman in the eyes of many men and women. People will view them as male and that’s what there is to it. Having a Y chromosome makes you a male, having two XX chromosomes makes you a female. You say people are ignorant, but you parading around as a woman and not telling a potential partner is pretty much fraud, and the man could very well feel violated because he was having sex with what he thought was a woman but instead rubbing up against a penis.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Deuel/100000180413737 Celeste Deuel

            Here is a thought. How about cis men just ask all their partners whether or not they are trans? Oh that’s right! Your potential hook up might get offended and you won’t get laid and for some reason cis men believe that their inalienable right to get laid with as little difficulty as possible is more important than the lives of trans women who may get beaten or killed for outing themselves to the wrong person at the wrong time.

    • wildefae

      The point isn’t that no one else suffers street harrassment. It’s that they don’t suffer it for their gender presentation as WELL as their appearance. Trans people could experience harrassment for all of THESE axes as well: cis people could not experience transphobia.

  • Ashleigh

    As a transwoman myself, I do not believe that I have ever experienced any of these discriminations but that is not to say that they do not exist.

  • http://www.facebook.com/swordright Luna Hayelasdi

    Fuck number 7. No. You don’t even know. I would punch this guy for daring to say non-trans* people don’t experience this -_- Try not having a white name. Try being from a culture that commonly practices name changes after birth. Try it, asshole.

    PS : I’m not Cis.

  • Goddessboi

    There are trans people at The Michigan Womyns festival, as workers and as festie goers and protestors Lets not overlook these folks again!.My self includes as some one who lives 24/7 in the grey.And having the privilege of being born a womyn dose not guarantee hate won’t come my way when on the land cuz these days the assumption is i’m trans unless your trans and then not trans enough??? And on it goes. Camp trans also sets up the week before.This a twenty year or more  conflict at least.They do not enforce any kind of gender policing.

  • http://www.blasianbytch.com BlasianBytch

    Being able to board a plane without being taken to a special room and probed. 

  • sailor moon

    As a cis person, I’m not likely to be referred to as “it”.

    (Of course that’s fine if one chooses the pronoun, but to just call someone “it” is of course rather cruel.)

  • Summer

    Thank you, Sam. Some of these really made me think, and I appreciate that. 

  • TransZack

    People don’t assume they know your sexuality just because
    they know your gender.

    If you want to have your breasts augmented or reduced you
    don’t have to go to a psychiatrist and get a letter saying you have permission.

    If you have Gynecomastia and need
    it corrected or need
    a testicular implant or an erectile device implant you don’t have to go to a
    psychiatrist and get a letter saying you have permission and your insurance
    will probably pay for it.

  • Kirsty

    Living in South East Asia as a foreigner I get started at all the time anyhow no matter how I dress. It’s like I’m from another planet or have two heads, so wearing a dress in public is easy :-)

    By the way, the text in the comments is almost impossible to read, font is way to small and in a grey color that merges with the background. I’m using Safari 5.1.7.

  • Victoria

    I do not claim to have read all the comments, but the latest interpretation trend seems to be focusing on the advantages/disadvantages of different individuals. While that seems obvious, I mean it seems a focus on the positive/negative aspect, that cis people have it dandy and others do not. I read it under the understanding not of an attack on those who possess these advantages daily, nor as a plea for political and structural change (although that would be nice) but rather as an attempt to get people thinking about what it would mean psychologically and emotionally to have these as legitimate daily concerns. I agree that it is important to understand the strides that have already been taken, but it is also important to take into account how considering, or not considering, these issues influences the emotional state, psyche and quality of life of each person.

  • Frank DiSalle

    I remember discussing this issue in relationship to “white privilege” while taking a course in graduate school in Multicultural Counseling.
    It amounts to list of “Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen”, and pretending that I am “privileged” for not having seen them. Whether I fully empathize with with your problems, or feel like you should “pick yourself up, dust yourselves off, and start all over again,” I am in now way privileged in not having to go through what you go through.
    Here’s a story from a week ago. I was in a Mexican grocery, near my house. After I shopped – I bought a lot of stuff – I needed someone to call a taxi for me (I have not yet obtained the ‘white privilege’ of a cell phone), so I was asking the customers if someone could call a taxi for me. They didn’t speak English – was that ‘Mexican privilege’? Finally, I saw a black guy coming out . I asked him if he would call a taxi for me. He asked me “What for?” I answered , “So I can get my groceries home.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder, and said “Ask them … They sold them to you.” Durn that ‘black privilege’!

    • http://www.facebook.com/swordright Luna Hayelasdi

      -_- Are you trolling, or just non-sensical?

      Privilege is not the act of not doing favors for strangers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emily.wind Emily Wind

     Since when was Take Back the Night exclusive of anyone? The upcoming event in my area is open to everyone committed to its purpose.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=845030373 Toni Palmer

    Everything on the list is true, the examples can and do happen to some trans ppl. I don’t understand why others commenting here would bother to argue about this. I mean honestly, what are the negative people hoping to accompllish? The writer is just pointing out some truths.

  • http://www.facebook.com/rogi.riverstone Rogi Riverstone

    Dear Cis people, JUST SHUT UP and THINK about this! Let US talk.

  • Pingback: 30+ Examples of Cisgender Priviledge » PFLAG Portland, Oregon

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=784885563 Chris Makin

    Most of these apply to TG people who’ve started to transition. What about those who are still presenting as their birth assigned gender? The dysphoria I get when looking in the mirror, and feeling like I’m lying every day to myself, my loved ones, and the entire rest of the world about who I am are the worst things for me, and most cis people can’t even begin to comprehend how that feels. Lucky b*stards.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ColettaAllison Coletta Hughes

    Thank you Sam, Very well put. 

    To all you cis folks whining… When someone does not have to worry about something it’s taken for granted and by nature they don’t see it as a privilege…. So whine on you poor lil special people.

  • Megan F. Coffey

    Not having to out yourself when you get a massage.  Not having to out yourself when you get a new doctor.  Not having to out yourself (or get outed) when you go through security at the airport.  Not having to spend endless amounts of time, money and frustration on court proceedings and DMV hassles and Social Security nightmares and a gazillion other transactions for which you have to out yourself to strangers every single time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501439595 Evan C. Paul

    It does us no good to talk about who suffers more or who has more privilege. All it does is divide us further. Everyone suffers, and not everyone suffers equally, and both of those are awful. What we really need to be focusing on is how to fix all of this. That said, this list is tragic and it is true that I often take a lot of these things for granted, being myself cisgendered.

    • Ash

      Before you can fix a problem, you must first acknowledge and define it.

  • Patricia Clarke

    To quote Zinzi Minott’s excellent comment in response to this article which was reposted on Crunk Feminist Collective’s facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crunk-Feminist-Collective/334010421749#!/pages/Crunk-Feminist-Collective/334010421749Whilst I understand what this article is trying to do, It is written from a white hetronormative perspective. It does not consider the layered aspects of identity. Saying that because your Cisgendered you have all of these privileges is mis…guided. ” The few below are just an example of a few on the list which need to be taken off! They will apply to many Cisgendered people who are from any other oppressed group. that should be recognised. Opinions welcomed! “1.You can easily find role models and mentors to emulate who share your identity.
     2.Hollywood accurately depicts people of your gender in films and television, and does not solely make your identity the focus of a dramatic storyline, or the punchline for a joke. 3.Be able to assume that everyone you encounter will understand your identity, and not think you’re confused, misled, or hell-bound when you reveal it to them.”

    • Evil

      Oh really?  Then easily make a list of twenty trans women role models and mentors for trans women. (Conversely for trans men.)  Name from the top of your head more than one Hollywood movie that depicts trans persons accurately, with dignity and as people.  Tell me just how many people accidentally think you are not a woman, do not confused because you identify as a woman or think you are going to hell because you identify as a woman but were not born a woman.

      No?  Then stick a sock in it.

  • Transman

    #30 Who doesn’t have old embarrassing photos of themselves with a dated hairstyle, or wearing ugly clothing, pimples, braces, etc.
    #31 People have sex for many reason, mostly because of attraction, or curiosity. There is a fetish for everything from Race, Size, Haircolor, Hair Length, and Gender.

    • Evil

      Not sure if trolling or just that ignorant.

      I have old photos of myself shirtless, as a school boy, in a heterosexual relationship, as “best man” at my best friends wedding, with a beard, WITH A PENIS for rubbish sake.  Being remembered as male when I am female is very, very different to being remembered for dated hairstyles or ugly clothing and pimples.

      Being straight, being gay, being bisexual, being pansexual or asexual is not a fetish.

  • Bea

    I definitely agree with basically all of this. However, something I’d like to point out is that it’s difficult for law enforcement, hospitals, etc. to match trans* people to their identification if the image is not true to how they present. It poses some safety issues, but at the same time, I can’t think of a way to remedy this–I’m just giving my viewpoint. Otherwise, however, this is very well-written!

  • Rem

    I have another one: You don’t have to e-mail your perspective college to makes sure that your professors use the correct pronouns and name for you.

  • Ni

    I must be the most privileged motherfucker in the world!

  • Violet

    I think its important to recognize how much struggle trans* folk have, but I also think its important to not make it an ‘us and them’ thing.  We are all human, we all deserve the same rights.  We all deserve equality.  I think there is too much cishate or resentment going on and, honestly, as a cis person it doesn’t make me feel good- it makes me feel attacked almost.  But I’m not the bad guy- I love people for people and believe we all deserve love, compassion, equality, equal opportunity.  Why should I feel bad?  Because I’m cisgendered?  Because I don’t ‘get it’?  I don’t know, I understand that something strong has to happen to change the world for the better, but at the same time… the ‘us and them’ attitude is wrong, it’s not the right way to go.  Mind you what I’ve said isn’t an attack on the article, its just a comment on the culmination of experiences I have had since discovering the term ‘cis’.  As for the article, I respect it and the perspective it offers. 

    • Evelyn Williams

      I can see what you are getting at but there are a few factors that merits the “us” versus “them” approach.  Firstly, legal gender status recognition for trans persons typically comes at the expense of being rendered infertile – if a person is removed from the gene pool are they still, technically, human?  Secondly, cis hate is no more justified than trans hate, the difference being that certain cis scum* deserve no remorse or sympathy whereas trans scum does not exist, being that trans identities are being marginalised and exploited rather than the other way around.

      Should you feel bad?  That depends, are you exacerbating the problem or reducing it?  Are you doing what you can to find out more so that you can become a better ally?  Are you recognising your privilege in order to see where you stand in relation to these issues?  If you already feel bad then maybe you just answered those questions.

      *Not my words – see http://tranarchism.com/2011/11/21/guest-post-die-cis-scum/

    • RJ

      This response got long, and I apologize for that. I’m a bit wordy.

      I think you need to understand that there is a difference between separating people and acknowledging their differences.

      As a cisgender person, you probably have several, if not most, of these privileges. Ignoring that does not do anyone any good (except for you — you get to live in an “ignorance is bliss” state and take many things that make life easier for you for granted). Everything listed here is a problem that needs to be fixed because, as you’ve stated, all people do deserve love, compassion, equality, and equal opportunity. And problems cannot be fixed if we ignore their existence. If you’re a student taking a final exam that you haven’t studied for and that if you fail you fail your class, pretending you don’t have the exam and not doing it at all isn’t going to get you that credit, is it?

      “Us and them” isn’t acknowledging that cisgender people and transgender people will have some different experiences and that one has privilege over the other. A better example of “us and them” would be society’s insistence that transgender people are freaks, disgusting, worthy of hate and abuse because they are not “normal” (whatever normal means).

      The fact that you think there is “too much cishate or resentment going on” is just an example of your privilege. If you treat transgender people with just as much kindness and respect as you would anyone else, you’ll have a difficult time of finding a transgender person who hates and resents you as an individual cis person. But you won’t have to look too far to find a trans* person who hates or resents a cis person who throws death threats at them, treats them as less than human, and/or refuses to respect their gender identity. See the difference? Yes, there are trans* people who resent cis people as a group — because cis people as a group hate, ignore, and even terrorize transgender people.

      And you know what? As a trans* person, your privilege as a cis person doesn’t make me feel good. As a trans* person, your implications that my oppression isn’t real and that you having your privileges pointed out to you is comparable or worse than the fact that trans* people are often dehumanized and mocked and sometimes have to even fear for their safety makes me feel attacked.

      You wrote your comment as if you think cisgender people are oppressed. Cisgender people are not oppressed.

  • CD

    NO THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE OLD PICTURES DON’T SHOW WHO I REALLY AM

    i was really adorable in old pictures #awkwardwhinycisproblems

  • CD

    BTW, the point is for there to be generalizations. Clearly a list like this couldn’t cater to every individual case. The majority of cisfolk experience the majority of these privileges, and therefore it’s valid. IMO.

  • Guest

    I have a question related to 18, and I hope it does not come off as too ignorant. I should mention that I am a cisgender person. I am also a writer who is curious about ways to depict characters in diverse ways. How would you (any commenter can answer) like a transgender person to be depicted in a film or television show?  Would you like to see a transgender actor in the role, or a cisgender person? Would you want the character to be distinguished as transgender by an external factor like physical appearance or voice? Would you like the character to mention that they are transgender? If so, how could that be worked in without making it either a major dramatic plot or an offensive joke? If the transgender person is not externally identifiable as transgender and does not mention that they are transgender, how would a viewer know that? And if the viewer did not know that, how do we know that any given character already in a show or movie is not transgender?
    I hope I do not offend anyone with these questions, and forgive me if I sound niave. I am not at all attacking or disagreeing with the point made in 18, but rather am genuinely curious how people feel transgender characters should be portrayed in film and television, and thought it would be a conversation worth having. I also do not expect people to agree on a definitive answer.

    • Evil

      Personally, I would like the person to be depicted like they were any other character.  The fact that they are trans would be incidental but might crop up in terms of the prejudices they face.  Perhaps it would help if it was not apparent to begin with that they are trans – maybe the want nobody else to know, having done their best to bury the past.  I think it would be terrific if they were not portrayed as the butt of a joke, crazy or perverted.  I would ideally like to see them played by a trans actor, which is curiously rare when it comes to trans characters in film and television.

    • ashley

      I’d like them to be played by trans actors or at the very least actors who represent the trans character’s target gender, example a trans-women portrayed by a women actor, not a guy in drag. Also make their trans status as a much btw as possible, instead of focusing entirely on that issue. Also make the character better represent their group, for example NOT portraying MtF transsexuals to act and behave the same as drag queens, or vis-versa, and it should be clear how the character identifies themselves (trans, drag, cross-dresser) so the audience can start to recognize there are differences.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=605569147 Dylan Petrohilos

    great article! 

  • slithers

    #9 could be updated to include one’s “own” sexual orientation also — 
    You have the ability to flirt, engage in courtship, or form a relationship and not fear that your biological status *or gender expression* may be cause for rejection or attack, nor will it cause your partner to question their sexual orientation *nor to doubt your stated sexual orientation* .    [as originally written, the text is only relevant for passing trans persons, not for genderqueer or non-passing trans folk]

  • onyxkatze

    The claim that many cisgender people have made, here and in general, about not having these privileges is totally valid but misses the point. Do many cisgender people fear stripping down in locker rooms? Yes, of course. Do cisgender women get sexually harassed on a regular basis? Absolutely, because rape culture is perpetuated every day. However, these things do not happen to people because they are cisgender (and if they do, it’s pretty much unheard of). It does not mean the experiences of cisgender people should be trivialized — far from it — but there needs to be space for sharing, validating, and discussing the experiences of trans, intersex, gender-variant, agender, and genderqueer people. Articles like this remind cisgender people that the need for that space exists.

    It goes the other way, too. I don’t identify as cisgender — I am a genderqueer female — but I almost always have cisgender privilege because of my gender expression/presentation. This means that in conversations about gender, I may identify with other people who are genderqueer, but I need to allow room for our actual experiences to differ drastically depending on privilege.

    • http://samuelkillermann.com/ Samuel Killermann

      This is an incredibly good point.  Thank you for articulating it so clearly.  Please don’t hesitate to speak up elsewhere on the site :)

  • Josef

    I am white, male, well-off, cis scum (lol u guise), and I don’t give two shits about your plight. How does this make you feel?

    • El Sammich13

      Sad that you can’t spell guys?

  • Chris

    So this touches on gender identity, but not fully on gender expression.  I know many people who are cis and from a variety of orientations who haven’t experienced these privileges because of their expression.  As far as I know “cis” is about identity, but not expression of that identity.  For instance butches, while identifying as cis still get discrimination and lack privileges because of their masculinity.  Same for feminine men regardless of orientation.  I think when it comes to collectives like that it’s not just about random individual experience regarding lack of privilege, but is systematic as well and should be taken into account.  Shopping for clothes, for instance, has been denied these groups based on expression because of their cis status.  Something to take into account when making an argument.

    For the record I’m not cisgender, I’m butch, I’m female and I’m genderqueer,  but am often perceived to be a woman by dominant culture.  Clothes shopping and such, becuase of my perceived “womanness” is sometimes an issue.

  • http://morwenedhelwen.wordpress.com/ Morwen Edhelwen

     ”As a cisgender person, I come into every interaction with a social knowledge of what is expected of me because my gender presentation can be safely assumed to be that of the sex I was assigned at birth and because I have been socialized to know how people of my assigned sex are expected to act”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kynthia-Alice/100001009247368 Kynthia Alice

    31. Oh god. I dont know how many times someone has pretended to be interested in me and I hear one of two phrases that tip me off
    1. “The best of both worlds”
    2. “A woman with something extra”
    Kind of tired of being a freak factor for dating.

    • Caleb

      i’m a cisgender and there are some of us out there that really do care about what’s on the inside not the out.  the absolute love of my life is a transwoman and i couldn’t live a day without her

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kynthia-Alice/100001009247368 Kynthia Alice

    And the cis in here trying to defend themselves. boo hoo.I could care less about your butt hurt and your continued attempts to negate our experience as trans persons.

  • Levi

    You can be reasonably certain that going out in public will not involve having to force yourself to wear tight, restrictive clothing that causes your neck, back, shoulders, ribs, and hips to hurt, gives you a headache, and restricts your breathing, all so that you can hope not to be misidentified.

  • Kimberley

    - You have the privilege to not be called ‘one of them’ (yes, this happened to me).
    - Add to the pathology/DSM-IV the wording around crossdressers (transvestites) as fetishists (point 11).
    - I’d point out that cis people (esp. cis women) have issues finding shoes in their size; and, yes, t-women are probably more likely to be above the typical range for cis-women.

  • http://www.mskimberley.com/ Kimberley McNelis

    OK, so I’d add:
    - Cis people generally don’t have to hear “You’re one of them, aren’t you?” (though, presenting cis at the time, I actually got “You’re not one of them, are you?” so discrimination is ugly all around)
    - To point 11 I’d add being called a ‘fetishist’ by health community if you’re a cross-dresser (the pathology still applies).
    - To point 21 I’d say that while many MTF folks perhaps have a hard time, so to cis-women and men that are larger than average.
    - I have personally have faced the discrimination that over half these points make, and I know others who have faced many of the rest. That being said, I know cisgendered people face some of these issues too. Let’s all work to fight prejudice and oppression, okay? :)

    [I tried to post this before, and it looked like it posted, but now I don't see it; so sorry if this is a double post.]

  • http://awesomepractice.tumblr.com/ Satan’s Lawyer

    30) 
    You don’t have to deal with old photographs that did not reflect who you truly are.

    That’s not true…I used to be 50lbs overweight. Photos of me taken then don’t reflect who I truly am, either. 

    • ashley

      you’re splitting hairs, obviously this article is on trans/gender issues, not how heavy you are, but you’re free to make your own list of privileges on the topic of thin vs fat…. no one is stopping you.

  • Vanessa

    Being able to fly without fear of being refused boarding because airport security does not believe the gender marker on your ID card to match your gender identity.

  • Summer

    Being able to fight for your country without being discharged or denied entrance for having a psychiatric condition related to your gender expression.

  • Gingersn

    More than half of this list is very ignorant. People in general, regardless of their “gender” have to deal with a lot of the stuff listed. Your post in general is just ignorant and offensive. 

  • Rachel Kantstopdaphunk

    thanks for this list! here’s to me and other cisgendered folks recognizing that privilege and working to make our communities safer and more inclusive for everyone!

  • Vie Cooper

    Number 24, having your gender as an option on a form, as a genderqueer person, this is THE BIGGEST issue for me. My true identity will never be officially recognised, and as far as my paperwork is concerned, I basically don’t exist.

    Also the biggest privilage basically comes in the form that cis people are considered “better” than trans people, and that is the only message ever communicated. When all you get from cis people is pity “Oh it’s a shame you’re not happy being a man/woman.” it’s not exactly encouraging or understanding.
    Again it’s just the general enforcement of “Being normal”. Whatever normal is anyway. 

  • valeriekeefe

    Trans women are biologically female. You’ve confused coercively assigned sex at birth based on genital morphology with biological sex.

    • Carolyn in Baltimore

      Some trans women may be biologically intersex. However female sex is biology and gender is a patriarchal social construct. I support anyone rejecting the binary and prescribed roles of gender conformity.Your statement is incredibly delusional.

  • Mitch

    I’m a gay male who identifies as male. Why do you have to qualify somebody who’s gender identity matches their biological identy as cisgender to justify being transgender? This is an honest question not an attack of any kind.

    • Mitch

      And furthermore, forgive my ignorance, but regardless of biological gender, if you identify as male or female why bother qualifying it as trans at all. Doesn’t that just deepen the rift between trans and non-trans instead of fighting for equality? Once again, honest question from a guy who knows nothing about this stuff.

      • http://www.facebook.com/SocialistNutjob Cat Amanigh

        I know you probably long forgot about this, so I hope you get email notifications.

        It really comes down to this: As much as we wish to live as who we are from day one, to deny that we did not cheapens the pain and suffering we went through to get to a point where we CAN be us. I’ve no doubt there will come a day when transgender individuals won’t have to suffer, nor have to wait for the rest of the world to see the real them, but that day has yet to arrive.

        Thanks for asking!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Deuel/100000180413737 Celeste Deuel

        It’s the same reason for using the terms heterosexual and homosexual. It allows people to talk about subjects specifically relating to trans people by using neutral terms instead of loaded judgmental words (like natal, biological, or “real” in reference to non-trans people).

  • Amanda

    As a religious cis woman- I’ve had friends worry that hanging out with me or talking to me publically could get ME in trouble. I was shocked that my friend had to worry about not only what others thought of her, but what they thought of ME for accepting who she is. It’s a twisted privilege I never even thought of before. And it took weeks to convince her that I cared more about our friendship than others’ assumptions about it or my faith. No one should have to deal with what she does.

  • Hannah Southerland

    This is all true. I think it’s important for cis people to understand how much easier it is for us. And all you cis people down there, please understand that they are talking about CIS people v. TRANS people. So if you’re black/female/gay or whatever, they’re not talking about that. They’re talking about the privilages you experience as a cisgender person.

  • klwe

    You’re all sick

  • tara

    whoa, this list seems to assume that all cis-people are white, able-bodied, straight, non-sexworking and in general seem to enjoy every other possible privilege available. Can we maybe attempt to direct criticism towards cis-privilege without enforcing other stigma?

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Justin-Deuel/100000180413737 Celeste Deuel

      I’m assuming that the list was done like that to examine things along just one axis. I understand that people suffer oppression on the basis of multiple intersecting lines, but by breaking down privilege and oppression lists and categorizing them based on individual axes then I believe they can be more easily overlaid on top of each other.

  • Ant

    Most of these blow (to be on the trans side) but are worth it to go through life being yourself. Some of them, though… it’s the violence that scares me. I’m blessed to have supportive friends that watch my back and “vet” new love interests for me.

  • Fuck you

    People like whoever it is wrote this article are fucking insane.

    If you have a penis, you are male. If you have a vagina, you are female. Period. There is no “in between” to having a penis or a vagina, barring extremely rare genetic conditions.

    If you want to have an operation where you remove your penis/vagina and replace it with something else, then sure, you’re a different gender. But stop going on about how normal people are “privileged” because they don’t want to chop off their naughty bits and expect people to treat them specially because of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1407546092 Meg Cowie

    These are not privileges, they are basic human rights. I agree that they are denied to trans people.

  • mamasama

    I just think of my 5 year old daughter having to tell people (me included) everyday that she is not going to be a woman when she grows up. And having it take 5 years for us to finally get it.

  • Reptar

    Well obviously someone who is mentally healthy is going to be more privileged than someone who is mentally ill. In the same way that someone who has paranoid schizophrenia doesn’t have the privilege of not hearing voices. It has nothing to do with society oppressing people with mental illnesses, and uplifting those without. Society is just set up for people who aren’t mentally ill and you can’t seriously expect otherwise.

    • ashley

      your mistaking normalcy for being mentally healthy. Mental illness is defined as something that develops after birth, while trans ppl are BORN with different brain wiring then cisgendered ppl. thus, it’s not really fair to call trans ppl mentally ill. it;s not the same thing

  • Itellyouwat

    Cant wait for the fall of western civilzation, you fucks are the first to get gassed

    WHITE CIS CHRIST MALE POWER

    • ashley

      Do you honestly consider yourself to be a sane person? do you think that anyone agrees with your stance on mass murder? Seriously you need help! Go get yourself checked out before your insane hatred forces you to do something that will send you to prison.

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  • Carl

    Why should anyone normal feel bad for not being sick and degenerate? It is not our problem that there are people that do not work properly. Adapt, morons!!!

    • ashley

      Carl, no one is asking you to feel bad for having privilege… you totally missed the point. You should feel bad for taking that privilege away from others that are different then you. The article is about cis ppl recognizing they have privilege over trans ppl and questioning how we can give the same privileges to trans ppl that you take for granted, thus helping to make things equal.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

    *For transwomen* Being able to speak your mind, express emotion, anger or frustration to someone without some MAN threatening to beat the hell out of you, or get physically violent with you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

    *for transwomen again* Not having to watch every word you say for fear of some man getting physically violent with you. And if you do get beaten up by a man or bf, ppl take it serious and there are shelter you can go to, when we trans women get beaten ppl just look at it as a joke, Shelters wont take us, etc..

  • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

    If you’re a cis-gendered lesbian you can admire a pretty woman without being called a pervert, if you’re a transgendered lesbian and admire a sexy woman ppl are like “Youre just some old horny man really”

  • http://www.facebook.com/jannae.king Jannae King

    You are allowed to have a sexual prefrence, you can be straight, gay, lesbian or bisexual, but if you;re trans and happen to be attracted to the gender you identify as you have ppl saying, “Now you can’t be WITH girls if you’re going TO BE a girl!” But if you’re a cis-gendered woman you can be with EITHER gender you want and still get to be a woman, but it’s like we trans woman MUST be attracted to men or else we don’t qualify as women.

  • ashley

    Not having to worry that if you loss your home and or become homeless, you will be able to access the right shelters or be placed with the right group. and yes some women’s shelters do turn away trans-women, and yes some shelters force trans-women to be housed with men.

  • Olygav

    Other things to consider, the thousands upon thousands of dollars needed for certain surgeries, the cost of prolonged hormone therapy not covered by insurance, and the fear of people outing you with out your consent. I consider my trans status a blessing, because I am able to live closer to the way I identify, but it isn’t easy. Thank you so very much for posting this!!! I am a fan!

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  • Tim Minchen

    The idea of gender identity is that you are whatever gender you *think* you are in your mind. As Nietzsche succinctly said “A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith proves nothing.” You can “think” you’re another gender. You can believe it to the core of your soul. You can also “think” and believe to the core of your soul that you’re Napoleon Bonaparte. But you’d still be wrong.

    • http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/ MS

      50% of the world believes they are women… it’s really not that hard to imagine. How many people have you honestly met that say they are Napoleon?

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachelle.bergeron.75 Rachelle Bergeron

    Hate to break it to ya, but male and female aren’t “identities”, they’re names for the one with the penis and the one with the vagina. Stop whining at normal people just for being normal.

  • Maya

    This is an amazing reminder. I, and all cisgender people, should read this once a month, at least, just to keep it in mind.

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  • Tuuli

    “Not having to constantly think about your information policy regarding your birth-assigned gender and whether it is an issue you should or should not bring up in hopes for people to perceive you as a whole human being.”

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  • Fat Nazi Retard

    Transgender people seem like crying fags after reading this. Hope you’re not the opposite of this! That would ruin all my prejudices !

  • alexis

    I have never been asked “how long” I’ve been a woman, or how I “decided” I am a woman.

  • Jimena

    This is amazing, small little thinks that we dont usually think about!

  • http://www.facebook.com/lewis.mary.sue Mary Sue Lewis

    I identify as cis and I just wanted to say thank you for this list! Don’t let the arrogant and the trolls bring you down. x

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  • Stan

    I’m a straight white male, and it really pisses me off how sick freaks of nature and abominations are always complaining about how they are treated so unfairly

    just deal with it

    the world isnt going to change just for you

    at least pretend to be normal or something…

    • Dylan

      lol. The world is, and will continue to, change “for us.” But really, it’s for all of us. It’s so that people, even people like you, don’t have to be afraid of the edges of themselves, the places where their identity grows weak. We’re fighting for all of you, but even if you don’t thank us, the world will continue to become more vital, more diverse, more beautiful, more safe, and less fearful for every single kind of person, because we fight to be ourselves.

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  • fromfourchanwithlove

    AHAHAHA YOU FAGGOT

  • parker

    i enjoy this list, some to add are;

    cis people dont have to worry that on the beach people will ask ‘what are those scars from?’

    and cis people can go out in the summer without having to wear extra layers to cover a binder or hold in some padding.

  • Obelisk

    Drag is one thing, but it is biologically impossible to escap your sex/gender. I am referring to both sex and gender, not implying that they are one in the same. Its true you may have chromosomal abnormalities such as Klinefelter’s Syndrome…but the fact of it is, once you’ve been hit with TDF, you are, in fact, a male. Endocrinology.

  • Dillon_Lewandowski

    I’m really frustrated with transgenders.
    Here’s why:

    Girls have vaginas, they look down and go, “OH IM A BOY”

    Boys have penises, they look down and go, “OH IM A GIRL”

    Uh, no.

    Girls, no matter how much you hate it-

    If you have perky boobs/fem boobs in general, you are a girl.
    If you have a vagina only, you are a girl(don’t get me started on transvestites)
    If you wear flamboyant makeup, you are (hopefully) a girl.
    If you wear frilly dresses you are (hopefully) a girl.
    If you have a monthly period, you are a girl.
    If you have reproductive organs, you are a girl.
    If you can give birth/become impregnated, you are a girl.

    If you are called, “mamma” “sissy” “sister” “baby girl” “girl” or
    whatnot, you are a girl (this applies to family members who call you
    these things, obviously)

    Boys, no matter how much you hate it-

    If you have no perky boobs/tough chest abs and flat, you are a boy.
    If you have a penis only, you are a boy.
    If you have wetdreams, you are a boy.
    If you have a beard, you are (hopefully) a boy.
    If you stand while you piss, I swear to God I hope you’re a boy.

    And that’s it.
    I don’t want to hear about Goddamned transvestites or whatever. No. Fuck off. This has been about TRANSGENDER ONLY.

    You are not supposed to be the other sex YOU ARE CONFUSED TO FUCKING HELL, Jesus Christ, get it right.

  • Lissa

    Awesome article, and some great responses from the cissexual community….shockingly so :) I was born with a different experience (TGI and XXY) but am working on becoming the woman I should be, and not the man that was assigned to me at birth because of the Y chromosome

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  • Samie Carvalho

    Be able to travel, by train, bus and specially airplane without the fear of been harassed by security people in airports or terminals due your gender expression doesnt mach your “officual” ID…

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  • Meredith

    This is a great list, and it’s important for everyone to understand when they have in-born privileges, whether it’s related to gender expresion, sex, or race.

    However, if you have female genitals and identify as female but look at all androgynous or have a deep voice or have short hair/don’t wear makeup then you still get a fuck of a lot of hassle from people. Many of the things on this list apply in that situation as well.

    Having the genitals to match your gender identity doesn’t necessarily mean people accept you, because identifying as female doesn’t mean you’re femme. I can identify as female but still prefer wearing men’s clothes, because clothing is not representative of gender identity. Surely the definition of cisgender needs to include the fact of dressing/looking overtly femme or overtly masculine in addition to genitals matching gender identity.

  • http://renetaxian.wordpress.com/ Reneta Scian

    How about these:

    Being able to openly and freely engage in sexual relations with your partner without experiencing dysphoria, or having to avoid certain activities because of the dysphoric, triggering or painful consequences doing so may cause. (I.E. gender dysphoria impacting sexual relationships before reassignment).

    Being reproductively viable in a gender/sex that isn’t dysphoric or potentially emotionally detrimental to you. (I.E. A trans man who has dysphoria related to pregnancy, or a trans woman who has dysphoria about not being able to get pregnant).

    Being able to experience puberty (without medical intervention) which causes your body to develop it a gender specific direction which confirms the gender that you feel that you are. (I.E. Gender dysphoria trans* people experience during puberty)

    Not needing expensive, painful, taxing, and drawn out medical procedures to alter parts of your body to allow you to live normally, alleviate dysphoria and function socially which carry the risk of causing permanent damage, producing large amounts of debt, or leaving permanent scars/nerve damage. (I.E. SRS, BA, FFS, Electrolysis, et cetera for people transitioning after puberty)

    That is just a few I could think of. Awesome post by the way. Keep it up. Take care.

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  • nononononono

    being ciz, i still share a lot of these issues and feel it is important not to separate ourselves from others. everyone has privilege and struggle, why must we break things down in this way? just because i am ciz does not mean it is easy for me to find a role model to match my identity..

  • Jessie Rushie

    Proud to say that my university library has unisex bathrooms so anybody can go in and not be judged :) Sadly not in many other places on campus yet, but it’s a good start :)

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  • Sharon Kerr-Bullian

    33. Not having to choose between making yourself happy, and making your spouse happy, when you come to the realization that you aren’t really the gender your spouse thought you were!

  • Harper

    Intersectionality caveat: some of these items only apply to transgender women – trans men quite often share privilege 13, 14, and sometimes 21. Furthermore, cis people of color may not share all of these privileges, especially 16, 17, 18 and 26 – especially note instances of cis black women harassed by others and police for their expression of womanhood. Disabled people of all gender identities may have trouble finding bathrooms they can use. Intersex people share many of these struggles and lack many of these privileges, and their relation to the cis/trans line is complex. And god knows plenty of people of color get #7 – “no, but what’s your REAL name?” – in varying forms.

    Not to invalidate any of these examples as legit cis privilege, but it’s always, always worthwhile to consider privilege in terms of intersections: ‘not being harassed by police’ is arguably a white+male privilege, as dudes of color and white ladies certainly have more to fear from cops than white trans men who pass. All too often women of color are taking a risk just looking a police officer in the eye. And for trans women of color? The fatality rates are horrifyingly high.

  • Dylan

    There are comments on this article that make this a violent, unsafe space for a variety of people. There are comments advocating killing queer and trans people. Please moderate the comments list and please place it under continuous moderation going forward.

  • David-Sarah Hopwood

    33. If some official organisation such as a bank or government department has your name wrong, you normally only need to tell them to correct it once, rather than having them deliberately ignore you after complaining several times in writing.

  • sarah

    Not being accused of having autoandrophilia/autogynephilia if you are sexually active. (and therefore not being associated with paedophilia or necrophilia)

  • Tark M.

    when you’re cis-gendered, nobody says, “you’re just going through a phase” or “you’re doing it for the attention.”

  • Awiseman

    just because there is now a group of people who are different, doesn’t mean that the people who are part of the norm are privileged, it just means that the other people want to be separate and then want to be treated as the norm when they are the opposite of that.

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  • NitPickly

    The only thing I would add is that women and men are also not really portrayed accurately in movies, especially women, but besides that this is a great article!

  • Katelyn

    This is geared toward gender-non-conforming people, but works for trans* people as well: Your partner can claim you as a boyfriend/girlfriend without second-guessing, stumbling, or not having a noun to put before -friend, without others questioning the title.

  • Matt

    My only criticism of this list is that these are not “cis” (sorry I dislike the term) privileges. They are rights, for all. I don’t think I’m privileged for not having to worry about these things, it is my right, a right taken away from you by ignorance.

    • http://www.facebook.com/SocialistNutjob Cat Amanigh

      I think you’re misunderstanding the use of the word privilege. You’re not incorrect that these are rights we all ought to have, but as it is today, there are those that get to exercise those rights, and those that don’t, and so it’s treated as privilege in our society, even though it’s morally wrong, reprehensible, asinine, and a whole bunch of other adjectives.

      Thanks for siding with reason, my friend.

  • http://www.facebook.com/SocialistNutjob Cat Amanigh

    Not having to explain to people that you’re not just trying to avoid being gay. That’s the worst. I am gay, it means I like women. Then that brings up the whole “Well, why not just stay a straight man?” crap. People actually ask me that. As though I’d go through a lifetime of physical and mental torture and abuse on a whim to “try what it’s like being a lesbian.”

  • teafortess

    Being white, “privileged”. Being male, “privileged”. Being over 21, “privileged”. Loving every LGBT person I am friends or acquaintances with, “human”. What is wrong with me?

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  • Napoleon XIV

    i just lost 30 IQ points trying to read this shit, lol

  • Andrea

    Thank you for writing this. It is eye opening for me.

  • ganren

    cisgender aka ‘normal’

  • whatever

    Most of these things seem like petty and obvious problems that are going to occur not just to trans, gay etc etc people but anyone who is perceived to be different from the socially accepted norm. Everyone bullies, disrespect, misunderstands and demeans everyone else. The so called “privilege” of not being obviously different is just a fact of life. Furthermore making a big list about how you are treated differently because you act and are perceived as different is moronic. People stare at you in the street because you are different. Stop pretending your kind of different is more degrading than any other type.

  • ANONymous

    I’m afraid quite a few items in this list are misleading: feminist movements allow men as well as women, and therefore it follows that they would allow any other gender too. Please will people get it into their heads that feminism isn’t only for women? Also, cisfemales often, and sometimes cismales too, DO get refused jobs etc based on their gender identity, expression etc. Or maybe you’re counting that as based on biological sex?
    However: point taken. There are a LOT of VALID POINTS in this article: many covering things i hadn’t considered. I will try to make all the difference i can for transgendered people and i am so sorry that you don’t get to share these privileges.
    YET.

  • Sue Who Knits

    Great list, except for #21, try buying nice, “lady-like” shoes in size 12. It can be done, but not easily. I am lucky to live in a major city.

  • Anonymous

    The only thing this movement has done is alienate me from my trans friends who used to be okay that I am cis but now think it is a fault. This movement is jeopardizing unity and driving a rift between us, making people enemies because of how they identity themselves.

  • Jiggy

    Straight(lol) up don’t give a fuck about this:) Stay mad y’all. Cis and proud,

  • http://www.facebook.com/jenniferspuddymcgeetaylor Jennifer Spuddy McGee Taylor

    33. (or whatever you’re on by now :p) people don’t assume that if you aren’t cis-gendered you are automatically a full-on, body dismorphic. surgery-wanting trans. I would not identify as “trans” – I do not have body dismorphia, I do not have genital anxiety or wish I was born differently. I wear men’s clothes, I have short hair, I am a lesbian. I am CONSTANTLY told (not asked) that I “must be trans” (even by others who id as trans themselves…) – it’s actually a really difficult thing for me to hear, because it reinforces this idea of “pick a side” gender binary.

    I’ve spent so long trying to reconcile my self image with what “society expects” and only recently have I felt confident enough to say; I’m not a man, I’m not a woman. I’m not trans. I am not defined by my genitals. I’m not a stereotype. I am ME. I wear men’s clothes AND women’s jewelry. I play rugby, COD and Mass Effect AND bake cupcakes and wear face masks and cry at every single Disney ever made!!

    Sam, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your work with the “genderbread person” – about being able to put into words with humour and without aggression that which I want to say :)

  • Eric

    Reading the comments worries me about the future mindset of many young men. I swear you’re all slightly ill. Good luck with the rest of your deluded lives.

  • Deal with it.

    The problem with these LGTB extremist people is they are perverts. Their
    biggest identity with themselves is their genitals. Most people are not
    like that. There’s GREAT people in the LGTB community, but if you think about your junk and other people’s junk and what they think of you’re junk and your biggest identification with yourself is your sexuality, you’re a pervert. Simple as that. And I’m a gay female saying this.

  • Dave

    If a person is gay, straight, lesbian, trans etc. ANY of these, and the most important thing you can identify yourself with or find worth in is your sexuality, you’re a pervert. How about you identify with yourself as an artist or a hard worker or an author or a human being instead of trying to use your personal preferences to create division? Sexuality is NOT the most important thing in life.

  • random

    I’m agender and I may need to show this to some cisgendered individuals. Thanks!

  • RedClover

    Sorry bu this is a bit too general. As a cis gender woman who has always been challenged on my identity, the way I dress & present to the world, I do not have all of these privileges either. in fact, I have been beaten up 3 times by men who perceived me as a freak and have been abused, refused service, challenged on going into womens toilets etc My family also rejected me – So whilst I know trans people who face a lot of this shit I guess its about individual experiences as well. Not sure generalising a hierarchy of oppression is helpful.

  • Tristan

    :/ as a transperson, I’m not really interested in making people feel guilty because they’re treated like decent humans … These privilege rants that come out of minority writing flog the allies. The people who need to hear it aren’t reading it.

  • ming

    This is an important list and I’m glad that it was created. I’m definitely trying to become a better and more compassionate trans ally, and education is part of that process. That said, I feel like some items on this list, particularly 18 & 31, applies more to straight, white cis folks, than it does cis queers of color. For people with multiple oppressed identities, it is a lot harder to separate these identities out. As a queer femme of color, I don’t feel that Hollywood accurately represents me. As someone of Asian descent and a woman, I feel that people who share my identities are often made the butt of jokes. And I often wonder if people are dating me because they have an “Asian fetish” or because they find me “exotic” yet acceptable because I am a light-skinned mixed-race person.

  • a.b.

    #17 is a tad disingenuous, unless the writer assumes everyone not identifying as ‘trans’ is either straight or gay. Also, trans role models do exist, and please do not marginalize them.

  • Bear

    Having Hollywood accurately depict your gender certainly doesn’t happen if you’re a man of color. Cis or no. To that end, I think there are a few things here that are privileges that cis-folks of color don’t enjoy; all you have to do is substitute ‘for your gender/sex’ with ‘for your race/ethnicity’.

    I think this is an important conversation to have. I just think it’s also important to point out that some of these are privileges that only white cis-people enjoy.

  • Dillon

    This will get buried, but I felt the need to say this.

    This article comes off very angry and frustrated. Which I understand. I… never thought about those things, mostly because I do not know anyone that is trans. At least, no one has ever told me.

    This is probably the case for thousands of other people.

    So while this is frustrating, confusing, and generally infuriating to you, because it happens so often, to cisgender people, it is simply something they have never thought about. If they have, it WAS a curiosity, no matter how much that upsets you. You probably do the same thing with other things you do not normally run into. That is a normal animal trait, and it is hard to deter.

    Therefore, it is important NOT to use frustration and anger. There are quite a few people who have malice intent when they act in an offensive manner, but many others are simply curious. Getting angry at them and taking it out on them is natural,and I understand.

    You need to educate people on your position. They have no idea what you are all about. What is transgender exactly? Are you a boy or a girl? Why did you decide to switch? These are all questions that people are curious about. And while it is unfair, it is the truth that you need to have a platform to educate people about what being transgender really is. Otherwise, they are going to stay ignorant, and continue to act in ways that you do not want them to act.

  • REALITY

    I don’t believe that any group should be afforded special rights, nor do I think that being a relatively normal person is a privilege. Freedom of association means that any person or persons can decide who they wish to form groups with, and who they wish to exclude. For the kind of change you want, you’ll have to take every tranny in the world and bring them to an island to start a society of their own. If I visited tranny-island I would not feel that I had any special rights to use their bathrooms or join their clubs without scrutiny.

  • Jess

    A few comments. First I will say I am androgynous but because it’s easier I USUALLY live as a cis woman, though I dislike anything that is “too feminine”, and often do opt for more masculine things. (occasionally I might go for feminine things but it’s very rare).

    But I can live in peace pretty much mostly wearing gender neutral clothes and going with I’m female so I’m a woman.

    I’m aware of many of these privileges I think some areas are lacking points and others overlap, such as the bathroom one was mentioned twice, whereas military requirements were not mentioned at all. (I won’t even get into, as a feminist, how much of a nightmare the military is for “weakening” the female requirements and having different standards on how to keep your hair, men have to be shaved, women aren’t even allowed to, they have to go through a lot of effort keeping their hair up and shaving it is considered a “fad” and isn’t allowed, among other things.) In the military, at least in basic training, men and women are not allowed to mingle most of the time, they are held to different standards, and housed in different areas. While the girl scouts is inclusive of trans girls, the boyscouts are still homophobic, and I’m sure transphobic (I’ve believed for a long time, get gender out of children’s scoutings, and let children learn to tie rope and sell cookies together, regardless of sex or gender).

    Or in traditional work places men and women have different expectations, generally regarding dress code. Which I don’t like and I avoid working places where they say girls can have pierced ears, boys cant, girls wear makeup and skirts, etc.
    Partly out of support for the challenges MtF and FtM trans people may face, but partly because of how incredibly uncomfortable it would make me feel, I’d have to express as a man just to not completely go insane, it’d go above just checking a box and no real big deal, it’d be everywhere, and I’d have so many more expectations of me to be gendered.

    But that’s not even my main point.

    My main point actually is, this focuses almost exclusively on the most common forms of transgender expression, MtF or FtM, and not on the full spectrum that completely exists the gender binary.

    if you don’t fit the binary, if you are poly-gendered or agendered, or two-spirit, or third gendered, there are even MORE challenges that are faced that aren’t necessarily shared in the article or the comments I’ve read.

    “If a trans “woman” goes to prison, male or female prison?”

    First the quotes is offensive, if someone is a woman they are a woman, cis or trans.
    Second this is an issue with the gendered system that has a fascination with not only sex segregation but also living in the gender binary. This is a perfect example of what the problem really is, society’s obsession with gendering everything.

    If you like to wear dresses and play with dolls, you’re a girl.
    If you like to climb trees and play with mud you’re a boy.
    If you have a penis, you’re a boy.
    if you have a vagina, you’re a girl.
    If you have ambiguous or two sets of genitals you need non medically necessary surgery so you can be raised as a certain gender that I want you to (and if I don’t do the surgery, it’s because I don’t want to choose “the wrong one, it’s 50/50!”)

    I mean seriously. If I had any interest in having children (I don’t), I would NEVER let someone ask me if my baby was a boy or girl, I will tell them that my child is not yet old enough to express a gender identity and even if they were, how would it be relevant to anything.
    I’d correct any doctor or stranger saying “Oh it’s a boy!”. No it’s a young child that doesn’t yet know it’s identity and possesses a penis or prefers dressing in a way you perceive to be masculine.

    I was in a group on facebook and someone mentioned “I took my son out to play, and because he had long hair people kept telling me how pretty my daughter was. He’s clearly a boy, he was wearing toy story clothes and playing with dinosaurs with mud all over him!”

    So I quickly went off on him for assuming any of those things is masculine, and backing him up on how rude it is to assume the gender of someone because of something you casually examine such as hair style or length and clothing style or design or what toys a child prefers.

    Simply put, there are MANY genders, and many gendered problems.

    The first step, is destroying gender myths and stereotypes, the second, is to destroy the gendered bathrooms, standards, toys, and clothes, the third step, is let everyone dress how they want, and play with what they like, and pee wherever there is an empty stall.

  • Jodi

    Society has a long way in excepting all types of people but when we change culture we cannot feel entitled to expect everyone to get on board seamlessly. Most cultures and people feel offended by any display of sexuality conventional or not in the general public or professional settings but reserve that for the intimacy and entertainment industry if they want a public outlet, it’s part of respecting a communal space, and transexual surgery is a voluntary surgical procedure which doesn’t effect anyone else but you can’t expect people to be unfazed by it as if it’s part of the natural world. People will always look at any form of cosmetic surgery or outward displays of private matters with a level of uncomfortableness, I think it’s unnatural to think a healthy society can function with everyone giving open displays of sexuality to anyone. I went to a college with one of the largest gay populations and that’s great but the attitude that came with it was insanity, it was probably the enthusiastic young culture discovering sexuality but I felt like I couldn’t talk to some people without them referencing sexuality at every turn, like I couldn’t even get them to just get to the point and stay on topic, I feel like this article sort of goes into feeling like in order to have a tolerant society that it’s unhealthy to have any sort of line with what you will accept as a display of sexuality to you by a stranger and that kid’s shouldn’t have this line either.

  • Laguna bardwell

    I just want to mention a couple of things (without reading previous comments, to ensure my point is made how I feel necessary) in relation to the cisgender points mentioned above.

    The first issue regards gender (pro)nouns (he/she, boy/girl). I have two friends who are in the middle of a gender change through hormones and other. The biggest problem, I feel, doesn’t stem from people asking what your birth name is. It stems from people who get used to spending years of using one name, then find out it’s switched. For example, my friend who I will name Mattew for privacy’s sake is getting a gender operation to become a girl. He is in the middle, and we hadn’t talked since high school. Suddenly, while working with him, I find out he goes by Miranda. It gets really tough to change your entire perception of somebody who you know for a long time, and I think the tolerance has to go both ways on the idea of gender identity. Yes, people have to accept that people are more comfortable with one gender over another. However, if you drop that information on someone, there’s a transition for everybody. This is my response in the term of gender.

    My second point is in terms of name, not gender. From a legal perspective, it will get confusing to track backward through records and change them. For example, I feel more comfortable with my pseudonym than with my real name – if I want to go back and change all of the documents, and change the name my parents gave to me, and cut all ties to my past, it requires a lot of effort. Also, name changes and DBA’s (Doing Business As) cost money to register. I’m sure you can see where I go from a documentation side. If you pull out an ID with the name Miranda on it, but all of youre degrees and such still say “Matthew”, it would raise suspicions. Obviously, getting proper documents taken care of is the solution for this, but what if you’re in the middle of your life and you have to go through the psychological tests and such before you can change the documents? There are a ton of catches which can cause problems along the way. However, I understand that nobody should be entitled to use your birth name if you obviously want to use your preferred name. The same goes with pseudonyms and gender identity – if you feel more comfortable with one, I think you should use that one, as long as you stick to your decision.

    My third point comes from a social perspective. I completely support the idea that cisgender people should be able to access locker rooms and washrooms of their associated gender identity. HOWEVER…the downfall to this is that some “normal” (orthodox? I don’t know the word to use) people might pretend to be cisgender or gay/straight to sneak a peek. It sounds ridiculous to segregate based on physical appearances instead of based on gender identity, but I know some people who are the scum of the earth who would actually attempt to take advantage of a system such as this. Imagine a world where a boy can say “I’m homosexual so I shouldn’t go into the male locker room” or a lesbian who says “I like boys” and uses the female locker room, staring at the straight women. It sounds far-fetched, but when you think of how people generally can be, they will try to get through any loophole in the system.

    My fourth and last point is in regard to the “How do you have sex” and “What do your genitalia look like” questions. We, the orthodox people who are the way we were born, aren’t used to the seemingly ever-changing world of sexuality. It seems to me like a lot of this got sprung on me in the summer of 2011, when an old high school friend had to keep correcting me, and I didn’t know what was going on. I feel that more books and information are needed, which need to target raising awareness and giving information to an orthodox crowd. After all, most people don’t ask questions as a way to violate peoples’ rights, freedoms, or comfort zones. We simply don’t know about all of the psychological tests and examinations or hormones or anything like that. We simply want to know how it works, and don’t mean to cause offense. At least, I don’t…which is why I haven’t asked and I’m still curious.

    Some of these seem like I’m worrying too much. However, I would like to hear responses with solutions for each of these problems, and I would like to discuss these maturely and rationally.

    After all, as an orthodox person trying to be known by my pseudonym, and erase peoples’ knowledge of my past self, I feel like I can sympathize with some – not all – of the problems within this article. I feel like the issue of identity doesn’t always follow a gender-specific role and I would like to explore this topic a lot further.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641540469 Michael Timothy

    … and 0- (zero minus) things to do with that information.

    (btw, #6 is wrong, #8 has happened to me, and #18… lol. The first three words make ANYTHING after it a lie. I am not a violent psychopath, self-righteous and greedy patriarch, or bumbling buffoon. #17 is also inaccurate because of #18.)

    Anyone can make up a list of privileges that people that aren’t (insert trait here) have. For example, as a 6’3″ obviously cis-male (the beard is a dead give away), I can’t treat a strange woman politely with dignity and respect without her wondering if I’m going to kill/rape/hit-on her. It’s really fucking annoying because 99% of the time it’s really obvious that that’s how she’s treating me. I have even lost friends because it was too painful to be consistently judged and suspected that way by people that I allow within my inner circle- ie. people whose opinions I allow to emotionally affect me.

    But here’s the thing, how is me saying that to you anything but whining? What purpose is served? If I asked women to not let their fears and suspicions present themselves in such a dismissive and insulting manner, I’d at least be asking for something to be done about it. And if I gave them suggestions on how they could meet their needs to stay safe while still treating me(n) with respect, I’d be pro-actively working towards a solution. But simply making up a list of “privileges” and telling everyone else about it doesn’t ACCOMPLISH anything. Invariably, “privilege” breaks down into “people without this trait don’t get treated poorly for having this trait.”

    And?

    People NOT being treated poorly is not the problem. The problem is the people being treated poorly. I’ve seen so many lists of privileges and they all have lacked a sufficient reason why I should care. Consider these two outlines:

    “I get treated poorly because of this trait of mine. People treat me like this. Instead, people should treat me like this. You can help people like me not get treated poorly by doing this.” THAT is a useful format for a blog/essay/quest/thing.

    “You don’t get treated poorly this way because you don’t have this trait.” This is random information that addresses neither the abuser nor the abusee, and therefore serves no constructive purpose. There is nothing the audience for that statement a) has any part in, b) can do about it.

    In summary, yes, I have privilege. I have HELLA privilege. I have about as much privilege as any lower-class person has had in the history of mankind. This is not bad. I wish more people could have it. I’d love it if people would offer ways to work towards that. This piece does not do that.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641540469 Michael Timothy

      ps. My girlfriend takes exception to my claim of not being a bumbling buffoon.

  • Violette

    Thank you for publishing this great list. Another thing that is more specific is parents teaching us the “gender specific” skills. Like transwomen’s moms helping them with makeup, or transmen receiving education in how to work on their cars.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kathryne.metcalf Katey Metcalf

    What kind of Take Back the Night would exclude trans people? If anything, I think they’re more likely to experience the kind of abuse discussed there as anyone.

    (The last TBTN I went to had trans people and dudes and still felt like a safe space.)

  • cis-gendered_ally

    Hi! I’m a cis-gendered woman, I hope I can add to your list! :)

    Not having your opinion and ability to sympathise with others who share your gender questioned/ invalidated because your outward expression may not totally align your gender. i.e – cis-gendered woman saying “don’t talk to me about being a woman, you wouldn’t understand!”

    Not having the fear of bumping into old acquaintances (say, from highschool) and having to explain yourself and your gender to them.

    Being able to look in the mirror and knowing your body will allow you to have things typical of you gender, e.g, periods, pregnancy, penile erection.
    Hopefully science can help trans* people with this one day soon! Note: of course, there are cis-gendered men and women who can’t have these things, but they are a minority, while I’m talking about all trans* people.

    *whew* I’m done for now, will add anymore if I think of them.

  • americantransman

    Sam, some of the items on your list seem to be word-for-word the same as items from a list posted on a web page of the Oberlin College Multicultural Resource Center ally workshops. I’m not sure whose was first, but I thought I would point it out in case plagiarism is involved. http://new.oberlin.edu/office/multicultural-resource-center/workshops/ally-101.dot

  • Randi

    It’s not always easy to use gym locker rooms or rest rooms. At lest not here in Indiana.
    I’m currently not able to use the city outdoor pool or the park restrooms. And I have no
    one to help me with it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1003500621 Tori Stoner

    “If you are murdered (or have any crime committed against you), your gender expression will not be used as a justification for your murder (“gay panic”) nor as a reason to coddle the perpetrators.” This is not correct.

    When the body of a woman is found, the first thing they do is a profile of HER character-not her killer. As if knowing a man or going out at *gasp* night puts blame on her for being a target. Every true crime special I have ever watched or red it peppered with comments on what (cis) women can do to avoid being murdered. “She was in the wrong place at the wrong time”, ” she went out with the wrong man” -there are more extreme examples in the news.

    (cis) women are more likely to be murdered by their husbands or boyfriends- and if they were with an abusive boyfriend or husband- the blame is put on the women for not leaving. There is blame put on women for their own murders, rapes and other attacks. Do you really think what happened during the Stuebenville case wasn’t coddling? The whole nation lit up with soft words and good intentions- for the teenage rapists. And their reputations, and their futures.

  • James

    It can be hard being not transgender too (what is that called? don’t even know). I don’t like old photographs. My damn parents didn’t give me a decent haircut. I like my hair short, like military short. They had it much longer than that. Who likes old photographs? No one. Well maybe some people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/emily.striker.58 Emily Striker

    It’s always a little weird for me reading these lists; as a transwoman who passes easily and has a gender that basically fits within the binary I end up with a lot of ‘cis privileges’. For example: #1, 3, 5, 7, 8, 13, 20, 21, 24, 26 and 27. On the other hand, I do experience some discrimination for being trans, but mostly these things remind me that I have to check my privilege anyway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ellen.hagerman.99 Ellen Hagerman

    Not having to pay huge sums of money in order to make changes that allow you to feel comfortable in your body

    or on the other side

    Not feeling as though you have to hide/ change your physical features so people will stop thinking you are a gender you aren’t, or so people will believe you are serious about your gender identity.

  • ?R??H R?INB?WTR?N

    Having your stylist or tailor give you the style you paid for, not just what they think would look good with your genitals.

  • johnny McSporran

    you look like a fag

  • Michelle

    #30 is not always true

  • Alex

    As true as 24 speaks to me, I do have some issues with some things in this post.

    #5 is not exclusive to cisgender people. Lots of people stand out and are gawked at due to their gender expression that aren’t transgender. To say that problem just pertains to trans* people is false and undermines the difficulties of people with “alternative” fashion choices face.

    #2 Because lots of people have anxiety about public change rooms even with a cisgender identity due to their feelings about their body image and how other people view their body.

    #13 Many cisgender people get mistaken for sex workers based on the way they dress alone. It could happen to literally anyone.

    #18 Hollywood really doesn’t accurately depict any form of gender at all. According to Hollywood all men are buff and macho and always swoop in to the save the day and never show weakness. They make women out to be weak and unable to survive in life without relying on a man. Let alone how they depict cisgender lesbian and gay people in movies as well.

    #21 I have several cisgender friends who’s feet are too big/small to fit into shoes that are made for their gender. This is not so much a transgender issue but just a retail issue for people with non average shoe sizes.

    A lot of these examples are really accurate to do truly depict how difficult it is to live as a transgender individual. However, some of these examples are also very general and could apply to cisgender people also.

  • Ash Harvey

    You don’t have to worry about your family and friends rejecting you on the basis of your expression

  • Kat

    I’ve experienced a large number of these. But you know what? I’m cisgendered. The reason I’ve experienced hate (hate crimes like people attempting to set me on fire), the inability to get a job, a date, and having to worry about people only liking me because of a fetish, being misrepresented in Hollywood, not being able to find clothes that I feel represent me, and actively being THROWN OUT of stores, very rudely. All because I’m fat. Does anyone else see a parallel between the treatment of transgender people and the treatment of the obese? (And, actually, it’s been proven that obese people have more difficulty getting medical care and doctor’s taking their complaints seriously. It’s always blamed on the obesity and it makes them miss original disease processes. And the medical definition of healthy weight is based SOLELY on a white European standard, excluding people that have genetics from different areas, like Inuit.) So I’d like to know what people think about the parallel!

  • Jon

    Getting accepted for insurance!

  • Roxanne Barreto

    You have the right to go to any church you choose without being asked to leave because your gender expression doesn’t match the gender they believe you to be.

  • NikkiS

    Another of the issues that, as a trans woman, I have to consider is aging and given the chance I may conceivably need to spend my last days in a Nursing Home. A CIS gendered person has no fear of how they will be treated or whether they will be able to access any care…..I DO!

  • Bertrand

    Trans people are a very small minority. It strikes me as ridiculous to insist that the overwhelming majority of people should adopt a term that is the inverse of the label of one tiny group to identify itself, as if the question of identity ought to be reduced to gender expression for the majority, simply because that is the dominant issue for this minority.

    • Sassafras

      So should we also do away with the terms “heterosexual”, “straight”, and “white”, since those are the majority? Nobody is asking people to adopt the term “cis” as a personal identity, it is just a descriptive term. It doesn’t matter how big the majority, linguistically we need a term to differentiate when the subject of gender identity comes up.

  • Dani Rose

    Maybe these guys can help: https://www.sensepublishers.com/about-us/

  • Yort

    I feel bad because I just do not understand the trans issue. I have nothing against anybody and would never be mean or discriminate against them, but I feel somewhat trapped by my ignorance. I don’t understand how someone who gets an operation becomes the other gender. Trans women can’t have children, don’t have wombs/ovaries, have a Y chromosome and will never have a period. I know some “cis” women (I do not understand what that word means) can’t have children either but that’s just a birth defect, they still have the wombs they would use if they could have children. A trans man cannot impregnate a woman and has two X chromosomes, so how are they a man? Because they feel like being a man? Sometimes I wish I wasn’t white because white people are responsible for so much of the awful stuff in the world, but if I dyed my skin permanently I wouldn’t be black or brown or anything else. Since race is just a social construct alongside gender, why wouldn’t I be black if I dyed my skin? And yet no black people would accept me as black because despite what I might feel like or wish I was (or even look like), the reality of my genetic material says otherwise. I don’t want to deny anyone their right to do what they want (so long as they’re not hurting people) and I hate that trans people have to live in such fear but it just doesn’t make sense to me for a trans woman (or man) to be considered an actual woman (or man). The fact that thousands of years of people lived with what their bodies were before medical advances let to trans people becoming a reality makes it hard for me to accept, I guess. I’m sure this will result in some very angry comments at me and fair enough, trans people go through so much that I doubt they feel like I’m coming from any reasonable place, but I really wish someone could explain it a bit better to me. What makes a trans man or trans woman a man or woman? Just because they said they are? The fact that their genitals now match what they say (despite being crafted by a doctor)? I’m coming from a place of ignorance, not hate, and I would love someone to enlighten me so it makes sense to me, but I can’t seem to get there on my own.

  • Ryan Carrillo

    I treat everyone as equals and with respect but I don’t feel guilty one bit about my “cis-privilege” as you put it

  • Sarah Patterson

    I think this a is a good article and as a cis-woman, I definitely agree that cis-privilege exists. However I do think that “gender identity disorder” being recognized as a medical issue is in many ways important. I would’t call it a pathology, but more of a condition. I think its recognition by the medical community as an issue faced by trans* people is important because it it could potentially act as a basis for mandated coverage of reassignment and cosmetic surgery by insurance companies, since the unfortunate reality is that many trans* people would like to have reassignment or cosmetic surgery to align more to their gender identity, but cannot afford it due to lack fo coverage.
    However I do agree that calling it a “disorder” is certainly problematic and I would say it isn’t a “psychological” condition, but rather a medical one.

  • Kris

    Some criticisms of the listed privileges – by number:
    (just to clarify – I think it totally sucks that trans and non-cisgender people have to go through these things. It’s just that I think it needs to be pointed out that many of these things are not privileges that all cisgender people have – especially women and gay cisgender people).
    Also: sorry my comma isn’t working on my keyboard.

    1. Totally applies to women who have been exposed to or are survivors of rape. 1 in 4 women are raped. Just about all women are affected by the fear rape culture inflicts. Especially scary are bathrooms at a truck stop and gas station bathrooms or malls. It also definitely applies to gay men and women as well.

    2. Same as number one. Although I’ll add that exposing body parts to other people who also identify as a man or woman has more layers of fear for trans people for reasons cis people often don’t think of. Although a similar fear exists for gay people though not to the same extent. I’ll also add that ciswomen are commonly anxious about showing their bodies to other ciswomen because of misogynistic beauty standards in our society. Especially for women of size. … and cismen are often anxious of being naked in front of other men if their genitalia is different (unusually small/large or un/circumcised). In fact some fully transitioned transmen may have an easier time showing genitalia because they got to pick how their penis looks while many cismen are still very insecure about their genitalia.

    3. Happens all the time to ciswomen. Women are often asked at the club to flash their genitalia or breasts. Not necessarily for the same reasons as transwomen are asked (although sometimes) but it’s just as insulting. Definitely transwomen have to deal with being asked because they are trans but also because they simply have female parts now just like ciswomen have to deal with. Sometimes cisgender people get asked to show their genitalia to a trans person because unfortunately many young people don’t know what other people’s genitalia look like because of the negative effects of porn and the media… the only depiction that most people see is enlarged penises and labiaplasty and bleaching and waxing and etc. Having someone ask you to show them your private parts most commonly happens to ciswomen and their breasts.
    It also very commonly happens to ciswomen who lost their original breasts to cancer.

    4. It often happens to ciswomen who have had labiaplasty or breast surgery or other surgery on the face or elsewhere… Men and women who are cisgender both get judged on whether they pass for their own gender all the time. Especially butch lesbians (who may or may not identify as cis… which is a whole other complicated discussion) and effeminate appearing men (whether gay or not).

    5. Again… this totally applies to cisgender gay people too.

    6. Dude it’s 2013… TBTN has been totally inclusive to trans people for a good several years now. My college has been hosting them for the past …like… 5 years or something like that and I’m a part of the eboard for the organization that runs it every year. We had a trans speaker last year. It’s not the 90s anymore. Most feminist-related events completely include trans people (though not all – avoid the radfem ones if you’re a transwoman).
    TBTN has also never been an all female event… although there was a struggle to include transwomen at its inception.

    7. I’m not really cis (I’m not trans either – although that depends on your definition. I’m genderqueer.) but I go by my middle name. My grandfather did the same thing so it’s a family thing. I always have people wanting to call me by my legal first name – employers and professors etc. That’s a non-gender specific version of that problem (Although I go by Kris or Krissy depending on mood/situation … usually just Kris which I see as gender neutral… and that really bugs some ppl especially some co-workers I’ve had.

    Point is that name issues aren’t always a totally gender thing and cis people have this issue too.
    A similar problem that IS gender specific is for straight women (cis or trans) who have had a name change due to marriage but want to be called Ms. and not Mrs. … Or they want to keep their name and family and friends or other people who know her keeping calling her by her husbands name.

    8. 9. and 10. all completely true (as far as I can tell)

    11. Also called “gender dysphoria”. Unfortunately without this classification many trans people wouldn’t be able to get insurance covered gender reassignment surgery…. So it’s true but nuanced and often willfully accepted by trans people. A trans friend of mine wanted to get his breasts removed but not have the genitalia changed and managed to get what he wished by claiming he wanted to have the breasts removed to avoid breast cancer (which was partly true)… Just a tip for anybody who doesn’t have a trans-friendly insurance company.
    Also… ciswomen and their gender-diseases: nymphomania. PMS and post-partum depression. female sexual dysfunction. so-called “lovesickness“. female sexual aversion. And menopause used to be considered a disease by medical practitioners and some people still think it is.
    Many older cismen are led to believe they have erectile dysfunction when in fact they are simply getting too old to keep it up often. The over felitishization of erect penises being the only penises that can have fun sex …leads older men with already fragile health to serious heart problems when they start taking viagra.

    12 is totally true.

    13. Um… every urban woman of color everywhere. Trans or cis. And so many other women. This is really mainly a woman thing regardless of cis or trans status. Sometimes gay men or transmen have this problem too but it’s usually young women walking to the club or going out for a night on the town who have this problem. From both police and people who want to get some.

    14. Take another look at my response for 11. Plus depending on where you go many sexually active cis women who want contraception or an abortion do get their motives and their mental state cross-analyzed. They get the “are you sure about this… are you really sure???” thing from health care providers and practitioners ALL THE TIME. Just like trans people.

    15. I actually totally agree on this one this one. What I hate is that I will have people simultaneously not accept me in their movement at the same time as they are insisting that I’m not really queer/fluid and that I’m actually cis. Drives me up the wall.

    16. Rape victims who die get this all the time. Rape victims period see this all the time. A woman’s woman-ness is used against her in a rape trial. Wearing make-up or skirts or dancing with the girls and doing expected ciswoman behaviors are all excuses to coddle the rapist. On the flip side… ciswomen who identify as lesbian (butch or not) often get dehumanized and dewomanized for their lesbian-ness and have their “non-woman-ness” used against them in trials. It’s sickening.

    17. This one is complicated especially for gay ppl who may have famous role models but not present ones. For the record though it is really hard to find any trans role models.

    18. Oh c’mon now. Whose gender expression and gender group gets portrayed accurately by Hollywood? Please. No. Untrue 100%.
    Women’s identities and men’s identities and stereotypical and binary gender tropes OFTEN get used as the main focus of a storyline. Just look at all those “men are from mars and women are from venus and never the twain shall meet” types of movies out there. Romantic comedies sheesh. It’s maddening and bogus.
    You don’t think this is something that bothers plenty of cis people?

    19. Again. Gay cis people get this too.

    20. True but… What about cis people who just want to buy clothes that “belong” on the “opposite gender” just because it fits or it’s their style? This type of reaction is quite common for girls who wear mandals or boys who wear skinny jeans. Store clerks can be real jerks sometimes…

    21. Plenty of women have feet too big for women’s shoes and there are men (I can list a few Irish men in my own family right now) whose feet are too small for men’s shoes and who have to get dress pants tailored because men’s pants are too long.
    Lack of size diversity in our fashion industry hurts everybody not just trans people.

    22-25 all totally true

    26. Do I really need to bring up the issue of colored women and other women who often get profiled as a sex worker again? Or rape victims? Especially men rape victims often have to worry about someone assuming that because they are male they can’t be raped or that they are secretly gay (and if they are gay there is fear that it will be used against them) or that they really wanted it in some way. Rape victims who are cisgender often fear interactions with the police both during a rape reporting and also for years and years afterwards.
    Plenty of young cismen fear interactions with the police because their demographic constantly gets brandished as a class of hooligans/troublemakers and drug smugglers and dealers. This is a cross-sectionally age and gender based discrimination against young men.

    27. Again for virtually all women and some men this is problematic because certain rest rooms in certain places are deemed scary rape zones that scare cis people just as much as trans people. Rape culture restricts the mobility of all ppl although admittedly to a greater extent for trans people.

    28. True

    29. Again with the Ms./Mrs./Miss thing… prefixes not pronouns but it’s a similar problem. Dwindling at a faster rate than the pronoun problem but still..

    30. Oh yes cis and people do. The slightly more effeminate cis man who’s an artist or in a band or owns a coffee shop now and has pictures of when his dad wouldn’t let him wear anything but a buzz cut and never let him grow his hair longer. And the football team from hell that he hated.
    The tomboy but cis woman whose mother made her wear dresses she hated for the holidays or for everything or for ballet and girls scouts she didn’t want to go to.
    The evangelical-raised girl or boy who didn’t want to wear prim and proper things but wanted to dress like their favorite musicians.
    The girls whose mother wouldn’t let her wear skirts and dresses to school because it was against her politics or because skirts meant she was “asking for it”. … and so prim and proper was the thing.
    The boys who couldn’t join the athletic crowd because their parents were very pressuring about the boys’ academic careers or macho sports are against their politics… and so prim and proper was the thing. Etc.

    31. Partial list of cis (although not necessarily always cis people) who get fetishized for their gender or gender-related attri1butes: conventionally feminine and heteronormative-seeming women who flirt or kiss other girls for gynophilic male pleasure. big breasted women. women who have a well endowed derriere. blondes. black women with their natural hair or with lighter skin tone. black men stereotypically believed to have abnormally large penises. men with big hands or feet stereotypically believed to have a larger penis. women with “blowjob lips”. fat people.
    I know I’ve had to worry about whether or not a relationship I was in was genuine because of a few of these things. (Also having a curvy body makes being genderqueer hard… it’s the main reason people insist I’m cis).

    32. Trudat.

    Also: I’m not sure how to address (in this discussion at least) the ways intersex people are affected in similar ways because an intersex person might consider themselves cisgender (either the assigned sex their doctor gave them or their actual sex) or they might consider themselves other-gendered or something similar to genderqueer… or they could be transgender. So…. yeah.

  • Kris

    More on 31. straight and cisgender “emo” men often get fetishized as well for their more effeminate appearance.

  • Kris

    And I’m not pointing out these things to marginalize trans people’s issues. I think that if we can see that we all have issues that are actually more common than we wish to realize that perhaps it would make it easier for people to support each other.

    There were definitely a few things on that list that are totally and completely privileges cis people have over trans people with no equivocation (and they’re mainly legal or institutional things). The structural and social privileges on the other hand are actually not quite as clear cut as it’s getting portrayed.

  • ursprung

    I dislike a lot of these divisions assumed here to belong to trans persons. Many men and women also undergo discriminatory practices depending on their education, language abilities, class, ethnicity, and so forth. It seems to me that gender is a throwback to putting men and women in their place. I was raised to question this and I always will. I don’t find that trans discourse is liberatory and while I am absolutely for the right of anyone to modify their bodies, I don’t think one needs to modify the body to match the actions. Let’s drop the categories and be free to be individuals. In the end, I think we need to rid ourselves of gender completely. Who cares who is more masculine or feminine, really?

  • Nic

    I am struggling to understand why this list is called cis gender privilege…maybe I don’t know what ‘cis-gender’ means but I relate to so many of these points and I am a woman (born female) who looks like a man to many people, to others I just look like a lesbian – I have been yelled at many a time in bathrooms and get gawks and stares and abuse because I am not performing femininity correctly. Being a lesbian then adds to the discrimination as well.
    If I ‘transitioned’ to the male gender i think my privileges would increase because I would ‘fit’ better into the gender binary, me and my partner would pass as a straight couple (we do sometimes and get treated with more respect when this happens).
    Being a woman brings a whole bunch of decreased privileges on top of everything.
    I think this list is more about not fitting into the gender binary isn’t it? and not necessarily to do with a ‘transitioned’ body but more about transgressions of masculinity and femininity and also has a LOT to do with sexism and misogyny and homophobia.
    I think that by focusing on ‘cis-gender’ privilege you’re failing to recognize what is being discriminated and therefore will fail to change discriminations of all kinds.

  • Kate Loree LMFT

    Thank you for helping me be a more knowledgable & supportive psychotherapist.

  • Bendis

    I am writing as a member of a group of women who are organizing a Goddess festival in 2014. Our desire is to make sure that our festival is inclusive of all women who identify as women. This event will be promoting this as inclusion to women of all color, size, shape or form. We are not making any distinctions as to pre or post op. we do not see that as a requirement of being “woman.” This event is for pagan women and daughters. Traditionally pagan events are clothing optional. This has never been an issue – removing clothes is a option, not a requirement. As a cisgendered woman I want to make absolutely certain that I know and understand any levels of comfort or discomfort with transgender women if they were considering coming to such a festival that the “clothing optional” statement might cause. Would it be ok – knowing it was optional? Would it feel exclusionary in any way, especially anyone who has not taken hormones or had surgery? I appreciate any feedback you can offer.

  • sam fusil

    “If you’re not familiar with the term, “cisgender” means having a biological sex that matches your gender identity and expression” Bullshit. Cisgender means you agree with the gender you were assigned at birth. Trans* means you don’t. Your biological sex is whatever YOU determine it to be.

  • Hughmyron

    Lol did not read

  • Taylor

    Not wondering what it would be like to be born with a body that matches your identity.

  • Taylor

    Not missing important milestones in the gender of your identity’s life. Ex. First period for cisgirls, or growing of facial hair for cisguys

  • Taylor

    Not doubting yourself as the gender you are, and knowing that what you do matches your gender.

  • Robin

    Your definition of cisgender is incorrect. Kind of ruins this whole article with its inherent cissexism. Being cis has nothing to do with biological sex and gender “matching”. It has to do entirely with identifying as the gender you were assigned at birth. “Biological sex” as an idea separate from gender is problematic. Why do genitals need categories? Basically you have to understand that if someone who was born with a penis identifies as female (unless that person tells you otherwise) they have a female penis. Someone can have a male vagina. And so forth. This is not to mention intersex people.

  • toothpick

    Excellent post, most of these points are definitely overlooked by cis persons with the exception of 3, 8, 10, and 13 which have happened to me as a cis woman.

  • Krista

    You know,no one speaks about the way society treats a “butchy” looking woman. I am someone’s called him or treated differently because I have hairy arms etc. but I am female inside and out. Actually I am quite average looking just a bit over weight and a bit hairier than media says women should be. I am treated as second class. Also, ladyboys in Thailand said they pitied me because I didn’t know how to look sexy and they made much more beautiful women than I did. Sad part was, they WERE prettier than I was. Society is just too much based on boxes and how well you conform to them.

  • Bastet

    I find the term ‘cis’ absolutely offensive. It means, ‘on the near side’. I am Not ‘nearly female’. I am Not ‘on the near side to female’. I am absolutely, biologically female. My xx chromosomes were not ‘assigned’ to me. I was born with them.

    I don’t agree with transphobia & I also don’t give you license to slap labels on me especially when they are biologically incorrect.

    • Sassafras

      “Cis” more commonly means “on the SAME side”, and this is the usage in the case of cisgender. If you think it is so offensive then come up with a better term (that does NOT also position cis people as more natural/valid/superior); cis people have had ample time to come up with such a term and have failed to do so.

      • guest

        Men and women who accept themselves the way they were born don’t need new names for male and female. The names that exist already, man & woman, male & female work just fine.

  • Bastet

    1. XX women do have to eorry about verbal abuse & assault at restrooms.
    3. I have been asked if I shave my ‘pussy’.
    8. Sex discrimination for work, apartments, and loans still very much happen. It’s one of the main feminist issues.
    10. I have been discriminated against medically on more than one occasion. For me, this is one of the foremost important issues for women today.
    13. I went to use a public telephone that was outside a YWCA. The line was engaged so I sat down and waited 5 minutes so I could try again. I never got to try again because the police assaulted me and took me to lock up. I had to ph my mum at the YWCA to get me out. I was 12 years old!
    26. A man shot a woman in Texas and got away with it. She was a masseuse and because she was a xx female, his claim that she was a prostitute and he was using lethal force to regain his possession was accepted as plausible and realistic.
    20. As a woman who is only 5 ft I cannot just go shopping for clothes. I have to import my clothing in from china and vietnam.

    The rest are accurate.

  • czech priv

    Grow a pair, faggot.

  • CISMALEpostGENDERQUEERphase

    30. You don’t have to deal with old photographs that did not reflect who you truly are.

    Certainly, we’ve all gone through difficult periods in the past transitioning from one phase of life to another. This phenomenon is definitely more noticeable with trans-gender folks, but not exclusive.

  • igor

    Use some of the questions below to prepare to talk about your family.

    1. What does your immediate family mean to you? 2. Is your extended family equally important? 3. Do you get on with your siblings? 4. What do you appreciate most about your family? 5. Has anyone in your family passed away? How does it make you feel? 6. Is your family tight-knit?

  • Tyler

    Just a little linguistic note: biological sex and gender identities never “match”. That language assumes a particular sex is supposed to with a particular gender identity. The more appropriate language would be something like this: “cisgender is the term used to define someone whose gender identity is the same as the one assigned to them at birth” — has nothing to do with one’s biological sex…

  • John Publik

    SOCIAL JUSTICE WIENIES, UNITE!

    What a bunch of histrionic victims.

  • Wangchuck

    Is there anything you crybabies don’t whine about? it’s a ‘privilege’ to have old photos that currently look like you? WTF is this madness

  • Pingback: Impact Versus Intent, or Why It Doesn’t Matter Whether Pax Dickerson is Sexist | Lauren Bacon

  • All Natural

    how about just be as you where made, and and you don’t have to revert to all this stuff :)

  • The Truth

    I am not this or that. I was given name. Friends call me by it. Enemies swear against it. You social advocates are the weakest of plague’s of humanity.

  • Robert C Deschene

    Numbers 8 and 13 are actually problems for quite a few ciswomen.

  • MarkCWinters

    Transsexuals, or non cisgendered people (Ha. Cisgendered. Where does the Left come up with this stuff?) Make up roughly 2% of the population according to most studies. How do you justify focusing this kind of energy onto a group of people who will never effect the human species in any way shape or form?

    And ask yourself this: Would the would be a better place if we had more transsexuals?

    No honest/level-headed adult could possibly answer “Yes”.

  • zrina

    I am a fat bisexual kinky immigrant ciswoman, and I do not enjoy all of these privileges. 2. stares and name calling happen, because i am fat 5. Being an immigrant, my color makes me stick out in a crows as much if not more than gender expression does 9. Being bi, I have experienced rejection and abuse form gay women because of my sexuality. 15. again, because of my sexuality, not gender expression, but bi and partnered with a man excludes me from a community that I am part of while partnered with a woman. A bisexual person’s sexuality is typically judged by their current partner. 18. Show me a fat woman who has a major role in a movie, and her character is not based around her weight, usually as the joke punchline. 20. Not questioned about my genitals, but trying to buy lingerie in my size leads to laughs, jokes, and refusal of service. 21. not every cisperson has average sized feet. i have been sent away from many a shoe store that did not have a single shoe that actually fit my funky shaped feet. 28. same issue with my sexuality rather than gender 31. bisexual women are often fetishized this way, see porn everywhere. 32. just because i am personally cisgendered does not mean i want to educate my children with misinformation. “being able” to use misinformation is not a privilege.

  • TheTruthHurts

    @Kali, just because a boy thinks he’s a girl does not make him a girl. He has male genitalia and male chromosomes. There are people in mental institutions that think they’re Jesus, would you agree with them? And if not, where do you draw the line? The belief that you are anything other than what you are is illogical, will there will become a point where you can change your gender status with a quick government form at your convenience? If you are a male … you’re a male. Not a girl, not a cat, not a donkey – a male.

  • Mon

    Wow, right in the feels. I usually do well to be aware of my privileges, but damn. This is definitely a must-read.

  • generic name

    Hey you forgot the one where you can pretend to be expert on genderqueer issues even though you are a cis guy. Or the one where you can steel ideas and copywritten material from trans people and know that people will believe your lies. Or the one where as a cis person you can repackage trans people’s work and make a profit from it because you are more approachable look.

  • Amber

    10 is wrong. As a severly chronically ill cis woman that’s been to the E.R 7 times since Jan 2013, had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks at one point, and travel for diagnostic visits/tests, I have had ” to worry that *your gender will keep *you from receiving appropriate treatment, or that all of *your medical issues will be seen as a result of your gender” fairly frequently. That privilege is only given to cis men, whereas if your gender expression “matches” a steryotypical woman, you have to fight to prove that something is physically wrong with you, not mentally. (Which is an issue in and of it’s own)

  • Jackbenimble

    Being able to teach a class and not have your students misgender you or laugh when you introduce yourself as your particular gender.

  • Jackbenimble

    Being able to go to school without fear or anxiety regarding teacher’s authority

  • Jackbenimble

    Knowing that your parents won’t kick you out based on your gender identity or gender expression

  • Jackbenimble

    Being able to actively and openly worship in the religion of your choice

  • Jackbenimble

    Your name on past graduation or other certificates matches your current name and gender identity

  • Jackbenimble

    You can board a plane without fear of getting strip-searched because of your gender or gender expression. You can book a flight without security questioning your passport, or picture ID. Airport security cannot legally prevent you from boarding a plane because of your gender identity or gender expression.

  • Jackbenimble

    this is honestly a ridiculously short list

  • jave

    What a wonderful Miracle from Therapist Oniha Of the [email protected] I went over seas after being in a relationship with my partner for a year and half and stayed in contact frequently with him while I was gone. When I returned home he told me that he didn’t think it was going to work between us, I think there maybe another women but I know there is still love there until i meet Therapist Oniha Of the [email protected] who rescue me from Nightmare and help me to get my Love back between 96hrs ,i was so happy because i don’t believe my partner would come back to me again,my thanks to Therapist Oniha for the wonderful Miracle work he did to save my Love Life .

  • Guest

    This is the silliest thing I have ever read.

  • Raine

    Bringing cash so no one has to look at your ID or your legal name which may not match your gender.

  • Denis

    I’m not sure I agree with #19. Hollywood deals in stereotypes, with only rare exceptions, and those stereotypes hurt everyone, even cisgender men and white people. Nobody is served by stereotypes.

  • Lauren

    as a gender queer person who is comfortable with my genitals/biology, i have experienced similar othering as described above (apparently written about trans folks). that being said, i know it’s easier for me in some situations because my biology reflects who i am. i guess my question is how do we combat this cisgender privilege? what do we do next?

  • Anna

    One thing: While I totally agree that it’s fucked up that being Trans* is listed as a disorder, one of my transgender male friends was talking to me about how this status as a “disorder” ensures that transition surgeries/medications will be covered by insurance programs as treatment for the “disorder.” So, for him at least, his feelings were mixed about that.

  • Maybe “Tom” or “Jeff”

    “Strangers call you by the name you provide, and don’t ask what your “real name” [birth name] is and then assume that they have a right to call you by that name.”

    This isn’t really applicable here. As an obviously cisgendered person with an unusual name I am constantly questioned about it, with many people refusing to use my birth name or my middle name because that’s not my “real name” either. I have been forced to invent a more traditionally north american name for people to take me seriously as a north american. That’s not a cisgender privilege, it’s a name/facial physiology-match privilege.

  • yurilimma

    Recently I was REALLY low on money and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money.. on the internet! I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills!! I’m so glad, I did this.. With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. – pk5x

  • abbeylayne13

    Recently I was REALLY low on money and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money.. on the internet! I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills!! I’m so glad, I did this.. With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. – pk5x

  • JustAskin

    Forgive me for my ignorance but it seems like a lot of these issues come from encounters with society. It seems like, to me and i can be vary wrong, not a lot of these issues come from problems within its more of a “Am i passing?” and “Will they judge me?” Im not really educated in terms of trans people but, to me, it seems like their perception of there selves depend highly on other peoples perception of them. Gender as i’m sure most know varies culture to culture, its like an archetype of what is expected from you based on the parts your born with (Vagina, Penis). So it seems like, again to me and i could be and hope i am wrong, That Trans is something along the lines of “Society views me as A because i was born with B, but i want society to view me as C who are born with D, even though i retain B”. And this all deals with other peoples perception of you rather then self-validation, but why should society matter so much?

    Thank you in advance.

  • Kelly Price-Colston

    My question is in this odd realm of the cisfem or high feeme in Lesbian culture- and how her attraction to BOTH the sexuality and gender os a transman- is aggravating or, cosmically adorable? I love ties, i love collars and crisp pleats. I have a clothes fetish, but a butch/femme desire that is so exciting in it’s fundamental interaction/chemistry, I almost believe it is a whole OTHER sexual orientation. Now… if I date or am attracted to a transguy, how does this process for him and for me? if I am gay, he is not, but, he knows a female body. he has a female history…and even was a lesbian as a female. how do you figure out where privilege comes in to play [do I have a fetish, or is this really a part of MY sexuality to like only masculine women or transmen?] and anyway, I know this is yars old, but still- how do I appreciate a transguy’s desires to be male, when it’s the very female parts [body/mind/history] I enjoy so much, but cannot express in my way. respect for pronouns yes, but – BUT, how do we reconcile this? I am so attracted to HER body and HIS presentation. This has been such a huge part of my psyche that, since I was 14, I have thought about it.

  • Kelly Kaminsky

    I think it says so much about this community that few, if any, of the responses to that hateful message were attacking or hateful themselves. Regardless of the poster’s intent (troll or honest), the words were hateful, and this group seemed to be more than happy to rise above and pull tighter as a group, and I just wanted to commend that attitude and say thank you to you all for proving there are more than a few good people on the inter webs.

    And to the mom from the original post, go you for raising an awesome kiddo with an open and compassionate heart! It gives me so much hope to know that there are other kids in the world that not only have the sweetness to see that all people deserve kindness and love, but are fortunate enough to have the kind grown ups in their lives that won’t stamp out that beauty of the heart. :)

  • Sister Radical

    This checklist appears to be written by a white man who has no concept of the patriarchal oppression of females caused by biologic sex roles, race and class.

    Killerman does not differentiate at all between male born and female born non-trans persons as if they were all equal privileged class. There is no mention of male supremacy or male violence inflicted on females. His male privilege and lack of any understanding of female oppression and the patriarchal paradigm is very disturbing to anyone who has fought for the liberation of women in the past 40 years.

    51% of this planet is born female. 51% of this planet lives under the universal and subliminal brainwashing caused by gender role performance instructions that keep females as the subordinate sex and males dominant. The 51% who are doomed from birth to remain on the lowest rungs of the ladder and raised from birth to serve and honor men, no longer count because the liberation of women from male supremacy is now considered hate speech, bigotry and ‘transphobia.’

    I find this checklist insensitive at best. Misogynist at it’s worst.

  • javy150

    # 9 is flat out false. Straight men find lesbian women attractive and flirt with them, and yes, their biological status is cause for rejection. Same with straight women flirting with gay men, or gay men flirting with straight men. And I might add, if a trans person is not honest with someone they’re flirting before getting intimate, then rejection might be perfectly justified. Just because a pre op transexual feels she is a woman, it doesn’t mean a straight(or bi) man has too suddenly feel attracted to penises.

  • Anonymous

    Serious question: Are lists like these made just to make cisgender people feel bad about being cisgender?

  • http://luvsiesous.com/ el_guero2000

    Sam,

    Thank you for taking time to write this, but I really do not get ‘it.’

    I am a relatively normal, but crippled, white male. I have been held at gun point by cops for ‘driving while white.’ Actually pulled over for ‘driving while white’ several times.

    So, I just do not ‘get’ what privilege it was that got me held at gun point, especially after I called 9-11 and asked for a supervisor …. so, I wouldn’t get shot?

    I don’t want you to be harassed, but I would rather they pull you over and hold you at gun point – as part of your privilege …. instead of my privilege. I hope you can understand that. Because it really angers me when people tell me I am privileged ….

    Wayne
    Luvsiesous.com

  • Dawnte

    This is how this an how people treat transsexual people. I thought this was sad and it also made me mad .I’m a CIS girl . What bothered me is that our world is knocking people down and putting up wall to keep people out…I mean yeah it shouldn’t be based on what’s between your legs or how you look it should be how you feel and a mental set up. Who said that having a penis ment your a boy and having a vag ment your a girl I mean both parts have there curses and blessings but at the end of the day that’s just flesh on a body that was made out of pure perfection. I think society needs to be slapped. This just made me beyond mad and upset at the world we live in…leave people alone and let them be happy with what they got instead of making them feel like they need Fit your image of lies

  • Quadrisaurus Rex

    ey yo I ‘ave no Idea wat da fuk I just read but this is some bullshiet. Dafuq you talkin about “Use public restrooms without fear of verbal abuse”?? you think that there are people that hang around public restrooms in order to hurl abuse at someone simply because they used said restroom? lol you are fukken nuts m8 I swear on me mum if I met you in real life I’d hang around you all night just to laugh at how phaggily you do things like take a swig of your wet, how your piss hitting the urinal sounds feminine, how your shoulders protract causing a serious curve in the upper spine (beta posture) and how you generally carry yourself. If I did that at least It ACTUALLY HAPPENED and you can write another lame a$$ article about it. “Strangers don’t assume they can ask you what your genitals look like and how you have sex” Brb gunna do that next time im in da club nomsayin’? gunna get all dat poosie, thanks for the tip brah.

    P.S. I would not take advice from a dude with a 2/10 face at best even with that lighting and photoshop. Gargoyle/10 IRL.

    Fuk it ima go lift some heavy ass weight and get jacked brah, chit is hurting my brain. Peace.

  • Nick Festa

    I concede that I get confused when someone with gender identity doesn’t want to change genitalia. I mean, I am ardently for erasing so called “gender roles”. So, at the moment, I feel identify becomes somewhat irrelevant. I may be wrong. I’m still trying to read and learn about this;especially as it relates to feminism.

  • livis

    33. you don’t have to hack facebook to get them to use your preferred pronouns

  • Jay

    Number 9 on this list really hit me. I’m cisgender and I have a close, longtime friend who I have strong feelings for. Recently they came out to me that they identify as non binary, and although this didn’t affect my feelings for aer, it did cause me to question whether i was heteromantic as I have viewed myself to be for a long time. After reading all of these, I now have a much better understanding of cisgender privilege and feel pretty terrible for questioning myself when ae is the one who truly has to deal with the real crap in life. I always try to respect everybody, the more I educate myself about everything, the better I believe I will be able to show everyone the respect that they deserve.

  • Chrysalis

    Good info- I would say though that #10 is still a problem for cis females. Women are more likely to get improper treatment for heart attacks and chronic pain issues based on their being female.

    • Chrysalis

      and secondly… since when does HOLLYWOOD depict anyone’s gender realistically? Men are either stupid or superheroes, women either sleep with everyone or they are only there in supporting roles.and Shoes- I have ALWAYS had to get men’s shoes because female shoes are not in my size!- that said- I HAD NO IDEA there was so much trouble out there for differently gendered people!

  • Joe

    Actually I don’t really bother with gender at all , I think of it as a social construct. My sex is just a sex i don’t see that it’s that big a thing. I do think that transgender is as much or more about changing your sex as your gender , else why the hormones and surgery, and the lamenting about having the wrong genitals. Thinking your one thing when your obviously physically another is irrational. I could say I’m Jesus but it doesn’t make it so, nor does it give me the right to expect others to treat me as if I was.

  • Jim Farley

    Use
    public facilities such as gym locker rooms and store changing rooms
    without stares, fear, or anxiety. – See more at:
    http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/#sthash.ZPGpWZdX.dpuf
    Use
    public facilities such as gym locker rooms and store changing rooms
    without stares, fear, or anxiety. – See more at:
    http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2011/11/list-of-cisgender-privileges/#sthash.ZPGpWZdX.dpuf

  • Dord

    Well if that ain’t just fuckin’ stupid. If you want the surgery to go well and you don’t want to be judged, find a god damn doctor who didn’t buy his doctor’s note for 15 bucks froms some shady asian dude.

    The flowers and the bees part? Fuck that. Just tell your kid how it is. “If a man and a woman really lik each other..”, stuff like that. Kids don’t give a damn about sexual orientation, hell, most kids won’t give a damn about sex and all that shit.

    Also, Cis is a stupid word. Most people will think of Star Wars. Just call it straight because, well, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. HAVING A DICK AND LIKING WOMEN WITH NO DESIRE TO BE A WOMAN IS CALLED BEING STRAIGHT,

  • neev

    I have a slight problem with number 10 about medical treatment; as a cisgendered woman I have been dismissed with medical concerns several times because of my gender. If I am worried about my mental health I’m told ‘it’s just hormones from your monthly cycle’ and my reproductive health options are considerably limited (access to abortion etc) – I’ve had an experienced doctor admit they have no idea what side effects the contraceptives pill may have, but prescribe it anyway

  • Jasper

    You’re seen as a good person and ally if you talk about transgender issues, rather than as an angry queer.

  • Sweeney

    Oh, my God. Also easy to forget: How easy “we” have it vs. octopi, atheistic quadriplegics, coal miners, lost tribes-people, siamese twins, furries, relatives of John Wilkes Booth, the Muppets and every other possible permutation of blood, brains (optional), and body-parts. I will spend every waking moment assessing my relative privilege vis-a-vis every marginalized group both current and extinct (Adamites, anyone?) and pray for enlightenment that the plights of those tribes yet unknown to me may come to my attention that I may lay down, if not my life for them, at least my jacket in the mud at their collective feet. Wait. Mud is mostly water, right? Ah, then they’ll have no trouble walking across it. Hmm. Is a superpower considered a privilege?

  • Ms. Tommie Marie Starich

    As a Cis Gender person it is reasonable to expect you will be called by your name , and culturally typical gender identity pronouns will be used. As compared to the life of having to end your years of tears of not fitting in. You may pray and hope you may be know at very least as a person and not an IT. As a Transgender you will have to listen to your closest friends call you by your former name and the inappropriate gender pronouns will roll off their tongues, unintentionally and not meant with harm over an over, left and right till you give up in despair and tire of crying, Hoping they will realize your a person.

  • Mackenzie

    Gender Identity Disorder is only a disorder when it causes significant distress or interpersonal difficulties. If a person feels like it’s a problem basically.

  • guest

    The absence of negatives does not a privilege make..

  • sherri

    this is stupid. i’m a regular ass woman, just last saturday i was asked if i wanted to special order shoes bc (wait for it) i have big feet. lol..i’m certain that MOST ppl hate old pics of themselves.. on my more laid back days i have older ladies give me side eye when i use the restroom.. role models are prob difficult to find when you’re convinced that the world is against you bc role model (wait for it) aren’t negative fucks.. do you (author) even know what a privilege is? everything on this list that begins with “you don’t have to..” is not a privilege. smh the blind leading the fuckin blind. hey trans ppl: the world is not a nice place. you’re different than the asshole majority- make them get on your level. don’t listen to idiots and don’t become an asshole for a perceived lack of options.